Uncle John's Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader PDF
Preview Uncle John's Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader
Uncle John’s TRIUMPHANT 20TH ANNIVERSARY BATHROOM ® READER By the Bathroom Readers’ Institute Bathroom Readers’ Press Ashland, Oregon OUR “REGULAR” READERS RAVE! “Today my friend was asking me who my best teacher was. I said ‘Uncle John.’ He was confused and asked me if I was home-schooled. My response? No. I was bathroom-schooled. He went out and bought a copy. Thanks for the education!” —Tyler “I have taken a few of my Bathroom Readers to work at the Post Office, and I can’t put them down or someone will pick them up and start reading. My co- workers even go around asking trivia questions on the material they read.” —Mayra “I just wanted to thank you for all your inspiration. I am a singer/songwriter from New Jersey. I’ve already written three songs based directly on people or events I read about in your books.” —Eric “Just wanted to let you guys know that you are the BEST. I absolutely love your books—I’ve been reading them since I was ten, and I’m sure I’ve read all eight or nine in my collection fifteen times each, at least. And thanks to you, I now have an interesting (albeit annoying) tidbit for every conversation! Many kudos.” —Kristin “I just wanted to say how wonderful I have found the Bathroom Readers. I have bought several for friends and family, and they are truly addicted now. Everyone seems to spend an extra 10 minutes in the bathroom in order to read.” —Lisa “I have many of your books and enjoy reading them at work. By the way, my job is making toilet paper.” —Don UNCLE JOHN’S TRIUMPHANT 20TH ANNIVERSARY BATHROOM READER® Copyright © 2007 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. “Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor. All rights reserved. For information, write: The Bathroom Readers’ Institute, P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520 www.bathroomreader.com 888-488-4642 Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld, San Rafael, CA ([email protected]) BRI “technician” on the back cover: Larry Kelp Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader® by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-203-8 E-book edition: May 2012 Hiya, Sophie! Hiya, Jesse! THANK YOU! The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible. Gordon Javna John Dollison Thom Little Brian Boone Amy Miller Jay Newman Julia Papps Judy Plapinger Malcolm Hillgartner Jahnna Beecham Lorraine Bodger Maggie McLaughlin Michael Brunsfeld Angela Kern Jeff Altemus Sydney Stanley JoAnn Padgett Jolly Jeff Cheek Scarab Media Jef Fretwell Nancy Toeppler Karen Malchow Claudia Bauer Melinda Allman Laurel Graziano Lisa Meyers David Fitzpatrick Monica Maestas David Calder Dr. Wendy Schilling Maggie Javna Judy Wicklund (Mr.) Mustard Press Steven Style Group Viola Rose John Javna Eddie Deezen Janet Spencer Michelle Sedgwick Richard “Noodling” Willis Publishers Group West Raincoast Books Porter the Wonder Dog Thomas Crapper “A room without a book is like a body without a soul.” —Cicero CONTENTS Because the BRI understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject. Short—a quick read Medium—2 to 3 pages Long—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required * Extended—for those leg-numbing experiences HAPPY 20TH! Short 1987: The Year That Was 1987: The Price Was Right “Twenty Years” Twenty Medium Top 10 of 1987 20 Twenties BATHROOM LORE Short ...News Flush... Let’s Play Bathroom Blackjack! Bathroom News Bathroom Graffiti Medium Bathroom News Uncle John’s Stall of Fame Farts in the News On a Roll Honoring the Toilet A BLUNDERFUL LIFE Short Historical Blunders Medium Oops! The Ig Nobel Prizes Missed It by That Mu... Oops! Smile: You’re on Dumb#*% Camera! Lucky to Be Alive FOOD FOR THOUGHT Short In a Pickle Fact-a-Roni For What Ales You Medium The Coffee Lawsuit How Sweet® It Is Original Zin Secret Ingredients The History of Bread, Part II Do-It-Yourself Jello Long The History of Bread, Part I Alphabet Soup *An Encyclopedia of Bread FADS & FLOPS Medium Flyin’ Flops Welcome to Slab City Odd Buildings Butt Facials Pop Causes LIFE IS STRANGE Short Gnome Gnews Is Good Gnews Landlords from Hell The Name Game Medium Hey! That’s My ________on eBay! Rescued! You Call That Art? All Broken Up Double Trouble Strangeness on a Train Hey! That’s My ________ on eBay! What’s Wrong With This Picture? Lucky Finds Underwear in the News Hey, That’s a Fake Shot Himself in the... It’s a Weird, Weird World Ironic, Isn’t It? Impostors! PUBLIC LIVES Short My First Job Celebrity Restaurants Medium Nudes & Prudes Strange Celebrity Lawsuits Celebrity Gossip What Is Fame? POP SCIENCE Short Q&A: Ask the Experts Medium Q&A: Ask the Experts Simple Machines Robots in the News Return to the Moon, Part I Old-School Computers Return to the Moon, Part II Tech-No Long Mission to Mars *The World’s First Home Computer *The World’s Oldest Calculator *Memory Palaces FORGOTTEN HISTORY Short
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