Uncle John's Giant 10th Anniversary Bathroom Reader PDF
Preview Uncle John's Giant 10th Anniversary Bathroom Reader
Uncle John’s GIANT 10th ANNIVERSARY BATHROOM READER The Bathroom Readers’ Institute Bathroom Readers’ Press Ashland, Oregon UNCLE JOHN’S GIANT 10th ANNIVERSARY BATHROOM READER Copyright © 1997 by The Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. “Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor, Inc. All rights reserved. For information, write The Bathroom Readers’ Institute, P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520 www.bathroomreader.com Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld BRI Technician on back cover: Larry Kelp Uncle John’s Giant 10th Anniversary Bathroom Reader by The Bathroom Readers’ Institute eISBN: 978-1-60710-669-2 E-Book Edition: November 2012 “One Tough Lama,” reprinted with permission from CyberSangha: The Buddhist Alternative Journal, copyright © 1996. “Sex in Aladdin: Anatomy of a Rumor,” copyright © 1995; “Is Your Name Your Destiny?,” copyright © 1997, and “The First Computer Programmers,” copyright © 1996, reprinted by permission of the Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones and Co., Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. “A Clean Fight: Bath vs Shower,” by Jay Stuller, reprinted with permission from HEALTH (formerly IN HEALTH), copyright © 1990. “What a Trip! The CIA & LSD,” “Silkwood,” and “Castro vs. the CIA,” originally appeared in It’s a Conspiracy! by The National Insecurity Council. Text copyright © 1992, by Michael Litchfield. Published by EarthWorks Press. Reprinted by permission of EarthWorks Press. Selections from Primetime Proverbs, copyright © 1989, by Jack Mingo and John Javna, reprinted by permission of the authors. “The Insane Experiment,” by David Perlman, copyright © 1973, San Francisco Chronicle, reprinted with permission. “Elvis Sings Opera,” and “So You Want to be a Rock and Roll Star?” from Behind the Hits, copyright © 1985, by Bob Shannon and John Javna, reprinted by permission of the authors. “The Great Regurgitator” and “The Proverbial Truth” extracts from THE BOOK OF LISTS, copyright © 1980, by David Wallechinsky, Irving Wallace, Sylvia Wallace, and Amy Wallace and DAVID WALLECHINSKY’S TWENTIETH CENTURY copyright © 1995 by David Wallechinsky, reprinted with kind permission from the authors. “Who Painted the Elevator?,” from Opus Maledictorum: A Book of Bad Words copyright © 1966 by Reinhold Aman, reprinted by permission of the publisher, Marlowe & Co. “Countdown to 2000,” “Exploitation 2000,” from The Bathroom Readers’ Guide to the Year 2000, copyright © 1996, by Eric Lefcowitz, reprinted by permission of EarthWorks Press. Excerpts used in “Japan’s Space-Age Toilets,” from But Do They Flush?, by Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan (Washington Post Foreign Service), copyright © 1997, The Washington Post, reprinted with permission. “Alias ‘Alan’ Smithee,” from Allen Smithee, copyright © 1996, The Economist Newspaper Group, Inc., reprinted with permission. Further reproduction prohibited. “Encyclopedia Bathroomica,” originally appeared as “Encyclopedia Tropicana: A Reference Book to the Modern World,” by Joel Achenbach, copyright © 1986. Reprinted with permission of The Miami Herald. “Techno-Slang,” from Jargon Watch by Gareth Branwyn, copyright © 1996. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of Gareth Branwyn and Wired Books, Inc. “Looking Forward, Looking Back,” was originally the Palo Alto High School Baccalaureate Speech given June 11, 1995 by Guy Kawasaki, copyright © 1995 Guy Kawasaki. Used by his kind permission. “Radio Waves” from Reading the Numbers, A Survival Guide to the Measurements, Numbers, and Sizes Encountered in Everyday Life, copyright © 1989, Beaver Island Books. Permission to reprint by Mary Blocksma. Calling all Bathroom Readers! Visit our new website at www.unclejohn.com or www.bathroomreader.com • Submit articles! • Enter contests! • Suggest topics for future editions! THANK YOU! The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible. John Javna John Dollison Gordon Javna Jack Mingo Lenna Lebovich Tim Harrower Erik Linden Sage Jennifer Massey David Sugar (Prof. Pear) Erin Keenan Casey Bourgeois Melissa Schwarz Sharilyn Hovind Andy Sohn Michael Brunsfeld Sherry Powell Chris Rose-Merkle Béla Keenan David Wallechinsky Scott Dalgarno Stephanie Keenan Askjanis Editorial Julie Roeming Lonnie Kirk Paul Stanley Bennie Slomski Jeff Altemus Valerie Hendel Jeff Painter Paul Protter Shelley Brigman Mary Kaufman Andrea Freewater Abby Granach Richard Moeschl Jenny McCracken Bill Eriksen Peter McCracken Thomas Crapper Jesse & Sophie, B.R.I.T. Steve Brummett Sam and Sarah Hi to Emily and Molly! “The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them” —Samuel McChord Crothers, The Gentle Reader Hiya Gideon! Hiya Sam! CONTENTS NOTE Because the B.R.I. understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject. Short—a quick read Medium—1 to 3 pages Long—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required. *Extended—for a leg-numbing experience. BATHROOM NEWS Short Bathroom Beginnings Medium A Clean Fight: Bath vs Shower Who Painted the Elevator? Long Japan’s Space-Age Toilets THE REEL STUFF Short First Films Movie Bloopers Reel Quotes Reel Quotes Hard-Boiled Damn You, Stink Man! Wretched Reviews Medium Video Treasures Long Little Shop of Horrors *King Kong WORDPLAY Short Flubbed Headlines Why Ask Why? Why Ask Why? The Personals Har-Har! Rah-Rah! Techno-slang Alpo & Green Slime Yiddish-American Slang Parlez-Vous Pentagonese? Modern-Day Latin SUPERSTITION & TRADITIONS Short Celebrity Superstitions Medium Why a Rabbit’s Foot? Love Potion #9 Old Wives’ Tales Curses! Curses! Baseball Curses Superstitions Long The Curse of the Hope Diamond POP SCIENCE Short Q&A: Ask the Experts Q&A: Ask the Experts Here Comes the Sun Mr. Moonlight The Proverbial Truth Medium Life’s an Itch Fart Facts Oh, What a Tangled Web How a Microwave Works The Insane Experiment The Big Dipper The Discovery of the Planets Great Moments in Telephone History Long Radio Waves * Encyclopedia Bathroomica MYTH-INFORMED Short Myth-Conceptions Myth-Spoken Medium Classic Rumors Based on a True Story Queen of the Nile Olympic Myths Long *Urban Legends * Anatomy of a Rumor POLITICS Short Your Government at Work Medium Democracy in Action Presidential Influence Other Presidential Firsts Long Celebrity Also-Rans THE NAME GAME Short Brand Names Brand Names
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