Uncle John's 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader PDF
Preview Uncle John's 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader
By the Bathroom Readers’ Institute Bathroom Readers’ Press Ashland, Oregon OUR “REGULAR” READERS RAVE! “Your books are the greatest written word since Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey. Uncle John and all his staff at the BRI must be the smartest rubber duckies in the pool.” —Steven “I’ve been a fan of your series for years, and I have two shelves devoted to them. I’m now equipped with an arsenal of fun facts for any occasion.” —Alex “I have been an avid reader of Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers for years. Everyone knows what to buy me for presents. Just wanted to let you folks know that you keep me mesmerized (and seated) for long periods of time!” —Mitch “I LOVE your books! It is so nice to be able to impress my family and friends with an arsenal of wacky, fun facts!” —Shayla “My whole family loves your books. We wait anxiously for each new one to come out. The most recent one we are reading has definitely brought conversation out of the bathroom and to the dinner table!” —Trena “I have about 30 of your books, and I want the whole collection! Do you know how much fun it is to start a conversation with a weird little tidbit from Uncle John?” —Rose UNCLE JOHN’S 24-KARAT GOLD BATHROOM READER® Copyright © 2011 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. “Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor. All rights reserved. “When Life Was ‘Simpler’” is reprinted from Secrets of the Great Old-Timey Cooks by Barbara Swell, © 2001. Used by permission of Native Ground Music, Asheville, North Carolina (nativeground.com) For information, write: The Bathroom Readers’ Institute, P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520 www.bathroomreader.com Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld, San Rafael, CA ([email protected]) BRI “technician” on the back cover: Larry Kelp ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-655-5 E-book edition: May 2012 Hiya, Sophie! Hiya, Jesse! THANK YOU! The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible. Gordon Javna John Dollison Jay Newman Brian Boone Thom Little Kim Griswell Amy Miller Michael Brunsfeld Angela Kern Jack Mingo Megan Todd Stephanie Fretwell Eddie Deezen Brandon Hartley Eleanor Pierce Jill Bellrose William Dooling Michael Kerr Michael Conover Ed Krenzolok Claudia Bauer Claire Breen JoAnn Padgett Melinda Allman Monica Maestas Annie Lam Ginger Winters Jennifer Frederick Maggie Javna Nate & Dena Wayne Erbsen Barbara Swell Tom “Deli Style” Mustard Sydney Stanley David Calder Erin Corbin Julie Pigeon Joseph Pisco Media Masters Publishers Group West Bloomsbury Books Raincoast Books Porter the Wonder Dog (R.I.P.) Thomas Crapper Hiya, Sam! Hiya, Gideon! CONTENTS Because the BRI understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject. Short—a quick read Medium—2 to 3 pages Long—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required * Extended—for those leg-numbing experiences BATHROOM LORE Short Celebrities in the Can Medium Bathroom News Bathroom Finds Toilet Tech Uncle John’s Stall of Fame Just Plane Weird: Bathroom Edition A Cacophony of Caca Uncle John’s Stall of Shame Toilet Tech IT’S A RECORD! Medium The Gold Watch Awards There’s a Record for That? Our State Is #1! AMAZING STORIES Short Amazing Coincidences Medium Bouncing Babies Self-Surgery Tough Guys Long The Unluckiest Train Ride Samantha Smith *The Curse of the Demon Core FORGOTTEN HISTORY Short Old History, New Theory Medium Kings, Sized Named for a Ship Ancient Sub-urbs Hermits for Hire Hail to Your Chief FADS & FLOPS Medium Fabulous Flops What It’s All About Heartbreak Hotels Obscure 1960s Fads Fabulous Flops AMERICANA Short Discharged! Medium Altered States Failed Amendments The Zero Milepost When Life Was “Simpler” Civil War Sidenotes Constitutional Q&A Long Blood & Booty *Myth America: “The Price They Paid” *Born on the 2nd of July LAW & ORDER Short Tweet Beat Judges Gone Wild Medium Judges Gone Wild Stung! I Shoot You With…My Key Fob! Dinner and a Lawsuit Dumb Crooks Strange Lawsuits Here Comes the Judge More Strange Lawsuits Long Law & Scandal LIFE IS STRANGE Short It Wasn’t My Fault! You’re Never Too Old… Early to Rise A Boring Page Naked News Medium Ironic, Isn’t It? Odd Scholarships Odd Jobs Uncle John’s “Creative Teaching” Awards BATHROOM TRAVEL GUIDE Short Before You Go Going Places? Medium City of Fright Five Things You Should Never Do in a Foreign Country High Culture HI-TECH BITS & BYTES Short
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