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Treating Nonoffending Parents in Child Sexual Abuse Cases: Connections for Family Safety PDF

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TREATING NONOFFENDING PARENTS IN CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE CASES This project is dedicated to Stephanie, Merissa, Rachel, Chloe, and Adam, who remind us every day how precious childhood truly is. JILLS. LEVENSON &JOHN W. MORIN TREATING NONOFFENDING PARENTS IN CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE CASES Connections for Family Safety Sage Publications, Inc. ® International Educational and Professional Publisher Thousand Oaks ■ London ■ New Delhi Copyright © 2001 by Sage Publications, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. For information: Sage Publications, Inc. 2455 Teller Road Thousand Oaks, California 91320 E-mail: [email protected] Sage Publications Ltd. 6 Bonhill Street London EC2A4PU United Kingdom Sage Publications India Pvt. Ltd. M-32 Market Greater Kailash I New Delhi 110 048 India Printed in the United States of America Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Levenson, Jill S. Treating nonoffending parents in child sexual abuse cases: Connections for family safety / by Jill S. Levenson and John W. Morin. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-7619-2192-3 (acid-free) 1. Parents of sexually abused children. 2. Sexually abused children. 3. Incest victims—Family relationships. I. Morin, John W. II. Title. HQ759.914 .L48 2000 362.76—dc21 00-009511 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Acquiring Editor: Nancy Hale Editorial Assistant: Heather Gotlieb Production Editor: Diane S. Foster Editorial Assistant: Candice Crosetti Typesetter: Danielle Dillahunt Indexer: Molly Hall Cover Designer: Michelle Lee Contents Acknowledgments viii 1. Introduction to Treating Nonoff ending Parents and Partners 1 When Is It Safe to Reunify a Family? 2 Determining Appropriateness for Reunification 3 Typologies of Sex Offenders 4 Pedophiles 5 Intrafamilial or Incest Offenders 6 Psychopaths 7 Sadists 8 Risk Assessment 9 Static Risk Factors 9 Actuarial Sex Offense Risk Assessment Instrument s 10 Dynamic Risk Factors 12 Situational Variables 14 Polygraphy 14 Exclusionary Criteria 15 Case Example 16 What Therapists Should Know About Sex Offender Treatment 17 Defining "Successful Completion" 19 Relapse Prevention Plannin g 19 The Role of the Nonoffending Parentgl6 19 Competency-Based Treatment 21 Connections Program Structure 23 2. Initial Assessment and Engagement 27 Confidentiality 29 Entering the World of the Nonoffending Parent 29 The Choices of the Nonoffending Parent 30 The Double Bind of the Nonoffending Parent 31 Accepting the Nonoffending Parent—and Her Partner 32 Treatment Contracts 34 3. Comprehensive Family Assessment 37 Parenting 37 Substance Use 38 Domestic Violence 38 Financial Dependency 39 Mental Illness 39 4. Connections Program: Group Modules 41 Session 1: Introductions and Program Description 41 Session 2: Common Feelings of Parents and Partners 43 Session 3: Denial 45 Session 4: How Sexual Abuse Affects Children and Familie s 48 Session 5: Signs and Symptoms of Sexual Abuse in Children 50 Session 6: What If You Were Sexually Abused as a Child 52 Session 7: Learning About Sexual Offender s 54 Session 8: How to Protect Your Children From Sexual Abu se 56 Session 9: Developing a Safety Plan for Your Family 58 Session 10: Review of Safety Plans 60 5. Connections Program: Family Session Modules 61 Partners' Session 1: Reviewing Offense Pattern s 61 Partners' Session 2: Reviewing the Offender's Relapse Prevention Plan 65 Family Session: Sexual Abuse Prevention Education 68 Considering Reunification With an Offender and His Victim: The Clarification Process 71 Family Session: Offender Disclosure and Validation of Responsibility 74 Partners' Session: Detailing the Family Safety Plan 75 Family Session: Reviewing and Signing the Family Safety Plan 81 6. Writing Reports and Making Recommendations 83 Report Outline 83 Sample Family Safety Assessment 1: Roberts Family 86 Sample Family Safety Assessment 2: DeMarco Family 93 Resource: Suggested Visual Aids for Group Sessions 99 References 105 Index 107 About the Authors 111 Acknowledgments The Connections program that this book describes is the culmination of years of shaping our work with sexually abusive families into a structured format. As we watched families struggle to change, so did our ideas, theories, and practices change. Working daily with the complexities of sexual deviance rarely has brought us to firm conclusions but has continually expanded our ways of thinking about the dynamics of sexual violence within families. In this edition, we have added a significant amount of new material to the ver- sion we selfpublished several years ago as Connections. This book has been inspired by the courage it takes families to survive the trauma of child sexual abuse. It would not have been possible without the contributions of the men, women, and children we've worked with, who bravely faced their problems and shared with us their stories, their pain, their fears, and their hopes. Of course, all names and identifying information have been changed to protect the confidentiality of our clients. Special thanks to Cory Jewell and Steve Jensen for allowing us to borrow the "journey" created by their mothers in treatment and for their review, sup- port, and encouragement of this project. Thanks also to Cindy Lawlor for her review, suggestions, and reminders about the victim's point of view. We have watched Denise Hunter, our associate, make the program come alive as she has empowered clients to make profound and sometimes unexpected changes in the interests of family healing and child safety. We thank David Wood for believing in our work and encouraging us to pursue professional publication, Terry Hendrix for helping to make it happen, and Nancy Hale for her support as our editor. We hope the Connections program makes a difference for victims of sexual assault, who need their families to come to their rescue. Vlll CHAPTER 1 Introduction to Treating Nonoffending Parents and Partners Welcome to the Connections program, a structured, psychoeducational pro- gram for nonoffending parents of sexually abused children and partners of sexual offenders. The Connections philosophy is that families who choose to stay together following sexual abuse can do so only if they learn how to live together as safely as possible. This therapist's manual is designed to be used in conjunction with the Connections Workbook for nonoffending parents. Thera- pists should read the ConnectionsWorkbook, as a substantial amount of mate- rial from the workbook is not duplicated in this manual. The program is designed for parents of sexually abused children and nonoffending parents who desire to reside or reunify with sexually abusive partners when children remain in the home. The book speaks to women as the typical client and girls as the typical victim, since boy molesters are generally excluded from reunification. Sometimes, the parent of a sexually abused child will attend the program even if she does not plan to reunify with the abuser. Some women have children who were not sexually abused but they are living with or planning to live with a partner who has sexually abused other children. Some couples may not be sure whether or not they want to stay together; Connections can help couples understand their options and make informed decisions. Some clients will be seeking a therapist recommen- dation for reunification with which to persuade a court that such a move is safe. 1

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This book helps professionals to make informed, research-based assessments of risk, offering strategies for supporting and educating families within which sexual abuse has occurred. Without actually advocating reunification, the authors provide a unique approach for working with non-offending parent
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