Together Alone Together Alone personal relationships in public places Edited by Calvin Morrill,David A.Snow, and Cindy H.White university of california press berkeley los angeles london University of California Press Berkeley and Los Angeles, California University of California Press, Ltd. London, England © 2005by The Regents of the University of California Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Together alone: personal relationships in public places / edited by Calvin Morrill, David A. Snow, and Cindy H. White p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-520-24522-9(cloth : alk. paper)— ISBN 0-520-24523-7(pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Interpersonal relations. 2. Public spaces. I. Morrill, Calvin. II. Snow, David A. III. White, Cindy H., 1965– HM1106.T642005 302—dc22 2004018526 Manufactured in the United States of America 14 13 12 11 10 09 08 07 06 05 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of ANSI/NISO Z39.48–1992(R 1997) (Permanence of Paper). contents list of figures and tables / vii preface / ix 1 / The Study of Personal Relationships in Public Places / 1 Calvin Morrill and David A.Snow part one social encounters and fleeting relationships 2 / Face Time: Public Sociality, Social Encounters, and Gender at a University Recreation Center / 25 Lesa A.Stern,Mark Callister,and Lynn Jones 3 / Momentary Pleasures: Social Encounters and Fleeting Relationships at a Singles Dance / 46 Irenee Beattie,Karen Christopher,Dina Okamoto,and SandraWay 4 / A Personal Dance: Emotional Labor, Fleeting Relationships, and Social Power in a Strip Bar / 66 Joseph E.Massey and Trina L.Hope part two anchored relationships 5 / Hanging Out among Teenagers: Resistance, Gender, and Personal Relationships / 93 Tyler R.Harrison and Susan E.Morgan 6 / Everyone Gets to Participate: Floating Community in an Amateur Softball League / 111 Allison Munch 7 / Inclusion and Intrusion: Gender and Sexuality in Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Bars / 134 Lori L.Reid,Carolyn J.Aman Karlin,and Michael D.Bonham-Crecilius 8 / Breaking Up and Starting Over: Emotional Expression in Postdivorce Support Groups / 159 Amy S.Ebesu Hubbard and Cindy H.White part three maintaining the interaction order 9 / Civility and Order: Adult Social Control of Children in Public Places / 181 Christine Horne,Mary Kris Mcilwaine,and Kristie A.Taylor 10 / Order on the Edge: Remedial Work in a Right-Wing Political Discussion Group / 201 Jason Clark-Miller and Jennifer Murdock 11 / Taking Stock: Functions, Places, and Personal Relationships / 225 Calvin Morrill and David A.Snow notes / 247 references / 269 contributors / 289 index / 293 figures and tables figures 1.1 Dominant Tendencies in Research on Personal Relationships by Time and Place / 3 7.1 Stylized Depiction of Intrusive and Inclusive Dynamics by Gender and Predominate Sexual Identities in Bars / 153 tables 9.1 Public Places by Adult Control Strategy / 186 10.1 Hierarchy of Issues/Themes Referred to by Members and Speakers (September 1996to February 1997) / 209 vii preface this book is based on nine ethnographic studies on a topic that has received scant scholarly attention: personal relationships in public places. Scholars of personal relationships have traditionally explored them in the contexts of family, school, and work but rarely in public places, which tra- ditionally have been thought of as the realm of passing strangers. To be sure, a handful of scholars have explored aspects of public sociality— namely, Paul Cressey, Fred Davis, Robert Edgerton, Erving Goffman, Jane Jacobs, Lyn Lofland, and Gregory Stone—and this volume is indebted to their contributions. But it goes beyond them by pushing the conceptual boundaries of what are usually considered personal relationships and by examining the social conditions associated with public places that both facilitate and constrain the negotiation of public personal relationships. In so doing, this volume illuminates the ironies of face-to-face social ties that paradoxically blend aspects of durability and brevity, of emotional close- ness and distance, of being together andalone. It also suggests, metaphor- ically, that people are not so much “bowling alone,” as Robert Putnam has argued, as they are together in disconnected niches of public sociality.1 This volume also spans a number of disciplines and fields of inquiry. The interactionist tradition in sociology, relationship research by commu- nication scholars and social psychologists, and urban ethnography under- gird the collection as a whole. Multiple conceptual frameworks inform ix
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