To Selena, With Love

224 Pages·1.6 MB·English

by  Chris Pérez

TO
Selena,
WITH LOVE
TO
Selena,
WITH LOVE
CHRIS PEREZ
A CELEBRA BOOK
CELEBRA
Published by New American Library, a division of
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,
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First published by Celebra,
a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
First Printing, March 2012
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Copyright © Chris Perez, 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or
distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do
not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation
of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
Lyrics from “Best I Can” written by Chris Perez and Julian Raymond. ©
1999 JCJ Music (ASCAP)/Domax Music (ASCAP)/Seven Peaks Music
(ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
CELEBRA and logo are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA:
Perez, Chris.
To Selena, with love / Chris Perez.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-101-58026-4
1. Selena, 1971–1995. 2. Singers—United States—Biography.
3. Mexican-American women singers—Biography. 4. Perez, Chris.
5. Tejano musicians—Biography. I. Title.
ML420.S458P47 2012
782.42164092—dc23 2011046126
[B]
Set in Carre Noir STD
Designed by Alissa Amell
Printed in the United States of America
PUBLISHER’S NOTE
Penguin is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity. In that
spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers; however the story, the
experiences and the words are the author’s alone.
While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone
numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the
publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for
changes that occur after publication. Further, publisher does not have any
control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-
party Web sites or their content.
ALWAYS LEARNING PEARSON
To the loving memory of Selena Quintanilla Perez and her dedicated fans
around the world.
I can’t erase this lonely heart that keeps on remembering.
Every day I live, I live with you, and with all the
things we’ll never do.
Heaven holds a place for souls like mine.
Try to leave my troubled past behind.
You know it’s so damn hard letting go . . .
Standing here, holding my heart in my hands
Yes, I am . . .
Trying to live every day the best I can.
—Lyrics from “Best I Can,” The Chris Perez Band
Table of Contents
Introduction
One: Holding Hands Over Mexico
Two: Romance on Tour
Three: Earning Selena’s Trust
Four: Facing a Father’s Wrath
Five: A Secret Wedding
Six: Our First Months as Man and Wife
Seven: Making Music in Mexico
Eight: Bliss, Mostly
Nine: A House of Our Own (Sort Of) and Our Practice Family
Ten: A Wild Ride With Selena
Eleven: Dreams Come True
Twelve: Amor Prohibido
Thirteen: The Day the World Stopped
Fourteen: Resurrection
Acknowledgments
INTRODUCTION
C. W. Bush/Shooting Star
month before she was murdered, Selena and I drove out to the property
A
we’d bought in Corpus Christi. It was a beautiful piece of land, with a
creek bordering one side and a hill that seemed to be the perfect place
for us to build a house for the family we were planning. We loved driving
out there at sunset and imagining our future together. Selena always told
me that she wanted five kids, which made me laugh.
“Let’s try having one baby first,” I’d tell her. “Then we’ll talk.”
This particular evening, Selena and I sat on top of our hill watching the
wide Texas sky turn every color from pale blue to bright peach to inky
purple. “I want to raise our kids around lots of animals,” Selena said.
“Every kind of animal there is.”
“You can’t put all kinds of animals together,” I teased. “You do that,
you’ll come outside and find nothing but a mound of feathers where
something ate your chickens.”
Selena leaned her head on my shoulder. “Just think, Chris. This is where
our kids are going to be running around and playing someday soon. Can
you believe it?”
I could, I told her. We continued to sit there until nearly dark, even
though what I really wanted to do was jump up and start clearing our
property right away. I didn’t want there to be any coyotes or rattlesnakes
around to bite our kids. I wanted to protect my family.
It didn’t turn out that way, of course. I wasn’t able to protect Selena.
After Selena was killed, I sold the property we owned together. I
couldn’t bear the thought of living on that land without her. I couldn’t bear
a lot of things for a while.
Lots of people asked me to write our story after Selena passed. I always
said no. My feelings were too private. When we lose people who are
precious to us, we all have to grieve in our own ways. My way was to keep
my memories to myself. It was an automatic response for me to put a lid
on my emotions after I lost Selena, because the feelings were so strong. I
kept pushing my grief under the surface as I tried hard to continue what
was left of my life.