"'We-have-a-house-in-the-country?' Lena nodded solemnly. 'Where?' I almost shouted, briefly rattling the table. No wait, don't tell me - it's Todi in Umbria right? The old manor house, the one with the lemon groves!' 'Alt-Globnitz.' 'Alt-Globnitz?' Suddenly I felt cold. 'Alt-Globnitz. It's a really nice place. You will love it.'" In a desperate attempt to save his relationship with girlfriend Lena and take a break from the world of journalism, Roger Boyes agrees to make a great escape from the easy urban lifestyle of Berlin and decamp to the countryside. He has hopes for Italy, but Lena has inherited a rundown old schloss in deepest, darkest Brandenburg. Needing a form of income, they decide to set up a B & B with a British theme. Enter unhelpful Harry and his Trinidadian chef cousin, an unhinged Scot to advise them on re-branding Brandenburg, some suicidal frogs and a posse of mad tourists. It all culminates, naturally, in a cricket match between the Brits and the Germans on...