To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop PDF
Preview To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop
“This warm, wonderful book provides a road map for making the journey from overshopping to full recovery and life balance. I particularly enjoyed the use of mindfulness techniques. Every overshopper needs this book!” —Olivia Mellan, Overcoming Overspending “An extremely helpful book. Dr. Benson provides a practical, step-by-step method for recognizing, controlling, and finally stopping a shopping problem. I recommend it without hesitation.” —Lorrin Koran, MD, Stanford University Medical Center “If you are a compulsive or chronic shopper—as millions are—this book may well save your sanity, your relationships, your marriage, or even your life.” —Jerold Mundis, author of How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously “This book instructs wisely about the problem of compulsive buying and how it might be reasonably overcome.” —New England Psychologist ABOUT THE BOOK Are you a shopaholic? Do you use shopping as a quick fix for the blues? Do you often buy things that you don’t need or can’t afford? Do your buying binges leave you feeling anxious or guilty? Is your shopping behavior hurting your relationships? Have you tried to stop but been unable to? If so, you are not alone. Nearly 18 million Americans are problem shoppers, unable to break the buying habits that lead them into debt, damaged relationships, and depression. If this describes you, or someone you care about, the help you need is here. Drawing on recent research and on decades of working with overshoppers, Dr. April Benson brings together key insights with practical strategies in a powerful program to help you stop overshopping. As you progress through this book, you’ll take back control of your shopping and spending and create a richer, more meaningful and satisfying life. APRIL LANE BENSON, PhD, is a nationally known psychologist who specializes in the treatment of compulsive buying disorder. She has appeared on several national television programs including the Today Show, Good Morning America, and the CBS Evening News. Sign up to learn more about our books and receive special offers from Shambhala Publications. Or visit us online to sign up at shambhala.com/eshambhala. To Buy or Not to Buy Why We Overshop and How to Stop April Lane Benson, PhD Trumpeter Books An imprint of Shambhala Publications, Inc. Horticultural Hall 300 Massachusetts Avenue Boston, Massachusetts 02115 www.shambhala.com © 2008 by April Lane Benson, PhD Excerpt from “Saint Francis and the Sow,” from Mortal Acts, Mortal Words, by Galway Kinnell. Copyright © 1980, and renewed 2008 by Galway Kinnell. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Distributed in the United States by Random House, Inc., and in Canada by Random House of Canada Ltd Interior design and composition: Greta D. Sibley & Associates Library of Congress Cataloging-in- Publication Data Benson, April Lane. To buy or not to buy: why we overshop and how to stop / April Lane Benson.—1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. eISBN 978-0-83482105-7 1. Compulsive shopping. I. Title. RC569.5.S56B46 2008 616.85’84—dc22 2008024034 To the memory of my mother, Frances Berman Lane Krebs Mehlman Contents Introduction 1. What Are You Shopping For? 2. What Hooks You and What Unhooks You 3. Your Shopping Self-Portrait 4. Becoming Financially Fit 5. What Are You Really Shopping For? 6. Countering the Pressure to Consume 7. Mindful Shopping 8. Enlisting the Body and the Heart 9. Recruiting the Mind and the Soul 10. What If I Start Again? Conclusion Acknowledgments Appendix A: Shopping Support Buddies Appendix B: Psychotherapy, Medication, and the Work of This Book Appendix C: Resources Notes Bibliography Visit Us Online About the Author E-mail Sign-Up Introduction To Buy or Not to Buy—for overshoppers, that is the question. This book is about answering that not-so-simple question. It’s also about who you are, what you want, and what you really need—and how your deepening understanding of this can help you stop overshopping. The underlying premise of the book is that when we overshop, though we often don’t realize it, we are trying to fill emotional needs with material goods. This attempt, like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, is doomed to failure: you simply can’t buy self-esteem or self- acceptance or autonomy. Indeed, the more you focus on acquiring material goods, the less satisfied you’re going to be. What I’ve learned from a decade and a half of knowing, studying, working with, and writing about overshoppers—and from having been one myself—is that to change your behavior, you’ve got to change the way you feel about yourself and the way you go about meeting your authentic needs. To Buy or Not to Buy is an interactive guidebook for that transformation, in which the concepts, exercises, and activities build on each other, so that what you learn intellectually is regularly tested and reinforced at a gut level.
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