The Wound of Mortality: Fear, Denial, and Acceptance of Death

217 Pages·2010·1.31 MB·English

by  Salman Akhtar

The Wound of Mortality
Margaret S. Mahler Series
This series of yearly volumes began appearing in 1991 and is based upon the
panel discussions presented at the prestigious Annual Margaret Mahler Sym-
posia held in Philadelphia. Each volume consists of three papers and their
discussions presented at the most recent Symposium. A thorough introduc-
tion and a comprehensive conclusion that pulls all the material together are
specially written for the book. Occasionally, one or two papers that were
not presented at the meeting but represent the cutting-edge thinking on the
topic are also included. While this format and organization gives these books
a friendly familiarity, the books’ contents vary greatly and are invariably a
source of excitement and clinical enthusiasm. Volumes published so far have
addressed topics as diverse as hatred and cultural differences in childhood
development, extramarital affairs and sibling relationship, mourning and
self psychology, and resilience and boundary violations. Among the distin-
guished psychoanalysts whose work has appeared in this series are Salman
Akhtar, Anni Bergman, Harold Blum, Ruth Fischer, Alvin Frank, Dorothy
Holmes, Otto Kernberg, Selma Kramer, Peter Neubauer, Henri Parens, Fred
Pine, John Munder Ross, and Ernest Wolf, to name a few. The vantage point
is always broad-based and includes developmental, clinical, and cultural
variables but the end point is consistently an enhancement of the technical
armamentarium of the therapist.
BOOKS BASED UPON THE MARGARET S. MAHLER SYMPOSIA
• The Trauma of Transgression (1991) • Does God Help? (2000)
• When the Body Speaks (1992) • Three Faces of Mourning (2001)
• Mahler and Kohut (1994) • Real and Imaginary Fathers (2004)
• Prevention in Mental Health (1993) • The Language of Emotions (2005)
• The Birth of Hatred (1995) • Interpersonal Boundaries (2006)
• The Internal Mother (1995) • Listening to Others (2007)
• Intimacy and Infidelity (1996) • The Unbroken Soul (2008)
• The Seasons of Life (1997) • Lying, Cheating, and Carrying On
• The Colors of Childhood (1998) (2009)
• Thicker Than Blood (1999) • The Wound of Mortality (2010)
The Wound of Mortality
Fear, Denial, and Acceptance of Death
Edited by
Salman Akhtar
JASON ARONSON
Lanham (cid:129) Boulder (cid:129) New York (cid:129) Toronto (cid:129) Plymouth, UK
Published by Jason Aronson
An imprint of Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
A wholly owned subsidiary of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706
http://www.rowmanlittlefield.com
Estover Road, Plymouth PL6 7PY, United Kingdom
Copyright © 2010 by Jason Aronson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any
electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems,
without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote
passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
The wound of mortality : fear, denial, and acceptance of death / edited by Salman
Akhtar.
p. cm. — (Margaret S. Mahler series)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-7657-0699-7 (cloth : alk. paper) — ISBN 978-0-7657-0701-7 (electronic)
1. Death—Psychological aspects. 2. Fear. 3. Denial (Psychology) I. Akhtar, Salman,
1946 July 31–
BF789.D4.W68 2010
155.9'37—dc22
2009043187
(cid:2) ™
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of
American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for
Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
Printed in the United States of America
To the memory of
Leo Madow
(1915–2009)
with respect and affection

(cid:2)
Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Chapter 1 Freud’s Todesangst and Ghalib’s Ishrat-e-Qatra:
Two Perspectives on Death 1
Salman Akhtar, MD
Chapter 2 What Happens When You Die:
Three-to-Four-Year-Olds Chatting about Death 21
Leon Hoffman, MD, Eileen Johnson, MA,
Michelle Foster, BA, and Josephine Wright, MD
Chapter 3 Children’s Understanding of Death 37
Henri Parens, MD
Chapter 4 Symbolic Death, East and West: Metaphors in
Three Child Case Studies 51
Jaswant Guzder, MD
Chapter 5 It Is Not Over When It’s Over: Reflections on
Death and Mourning 71
Albert Kaplan, MD
Chapter 6 Fear of Death: Analyst and Patient in the
Same Boat 79
Ilany Kogan, MA
vii
viii (cid:2) Contents
Chapter 7 T he Dead Self Must Be Reborn 97
Stanley J. Coen, MD
Chapter 8 Living to Die and Dying to Live: Normal and
Pathological Considerations of Death Anxiety 107
Calvin A. Colarusso, MD
Chapter 9 Facing Death: Intrapsychic Conflict and
Intergenerational Passage 125
Ruth Garfield, MD
Chapter 10 Eastern Intersubjectivity: Relational Homes for
Frailty and Death 135
Tooraj Moradi, PhD
Chapter 11 Demise and Illusion 155
M. Hossein Etezady, MD
Chapter 12 Is That All There Is? A Concluding Commentary
on Psychoanalysis and Death 171
Ira Brenner, MD
References 187
Index 199
About the Editor and Contributors 205
(cid:2)
Acknowledgments
Six chapters in this book were originally presented as papers at the 40th An-
nual Margaret S. Mahler Symposium on Child Development, held on April
18, 2009, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. First and foremost, therefore, I wish
to express our gratitude to the Department of Psychiatry of Jefferson Medical
College, the main sponsor of this event. I am especially indebted to Drs. Mi-
chael Vergare, Chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Human Be-
havior of the Jefferson Medical College, Bernard Friedberg, President of the
Psychoanalytic Foundation of the Psychoanalytic Center of Philadelphia,
and William Singletary, President of the Margaret S. Mahler Foundation for
their kind support for the Symposium.
Six other chapters contained here have been especially written for this
book and I am grateful to their respective authors for their efforts and
thoughtfulness. I am also thankful to my wife and fellow psychoanalyst,
Monisha Nayar, for her careful reading of my contribution to this book. Her
input improved what I had to say. There are many others who helped in
subtle and not so subtle ways; the most prominent among these are Roberta
Brenner and Gary Kaplan. To them, my most sincere thanks indeed. Finally,
I wish to acknowledge my deep appreciation of Ms. Jan Wright for her superb
organization of the Symposium and for her skillful preparation of this book’s
manuscript.
ix