The Woman Who Swallowed Her Cat: And Other Gruesome Medical Tales

318 Pages·2011·3.02 MB·English

by  Rob Myers

H O SWAL
W L
O
N
W
A E
M D

O
H
W E
R

E C
H A
T T
S
A
E
N L
A
D
T

L
O
A
T
C
H
I
E D
R M E
GRUESOM E
ROB MYERS, M.D.
THE WOMAN WHO SWALLOWED HER CAT

Copyright © Rob Myers, 2011
Published by ECW Press
2120 Queen Street East, Suite 200, Toronto, Ontario, Canada m4e 1e2
416-694-3348 / [email protected]
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any process — electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise — without the prior written permission of the
copyright owner and ECW Press. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book
via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal
and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not
participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support
of the author’s rights is appreciated.
library and archives canada cataloguing in publication
Myers, Rob
The woman who swallowed her cat : and other gruesome medical
tales / Rob Myers.
isbn 978-1-77041-061-9
also issued as: 978-1-77090-077-6 (pdf); 978-1-77090-076-9 (epub)
1. Medicine—Miscellanea. 2. Medicine—Anecdotes. i. Title.
r706.m85 2011 610 c2011-902856-5
Editor: Randi Chapnik Myers
Cover design: David Gee
Text: Troy Cunningham
Printing: Webcom 1 2 3 4 5
The publication of The Woman Who Swallowed Her Cat has been generously supported
by the Canada Council for the Arts which last year invested $20.1 million in writing and
publishing throughout Canada, and by the Ontario Arts Council, an agency of the
Government of Ontario. We also acknowledge the financial support of the Government
of Canada through the Canada Book Fund for our publishing activities, and the
contribution of the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Book Publishing Tax
Credit. The marketing of this book was made possible with the support of the Ontario
Media Development Corporation.
printed and bound in canada
CONTENTS
Introduction vii
1. Dragon Tales 1
2. The Remains of the Day 8
3. Stiffed 14
4. Ball Breaker 23
5. The Disappearing Man 30
6. The Santa Syndrome 36
7. Italian Stallion 42
8. PB and Slay 48
9. Buzz Kill 53
10. Breakfast Special 58
11. Friends and Enemas 64
12. Hot Stuff 71
13. Hair Today Gone Tomorrow 79
14. Alien 86
15. The Man Who Lost His Head 91
16. Squish Kebobs 97
17. Eye Spy 103
18. Hands Off 110
19. Vlad the Impaler 118
20. Barbie Doll 126
21. A Cut Above 133
22. Split Second 138
23. The Coke Side of Life 143
24. Man’s Best Friend 149
25. Chicken Little 154
26. Kentucky Woman 161
27. Self-Preservation 168
28. Nylons and Ligatures
and Snares — Oh My! 174
29. Screwed 180
30. Fecal Matters 186
31. It’s Only a Flesh Wound 192
32. The Catch of the Day 198
33. Inside Out 203
34. Let’s Get Smashed 208
35. Hitting the Jackpot 213
36. Heat of the Moment 219
37. Steak and Legs 226
38. Food for Thought 232
39. The Nose Knows 238
40. Tractor Attraction 243
41. Entry Wound 248
42. Model Behavior 254
43. Breathe Easy 259
44. Any Way You Slice It 266
45. Trick or Treat 272
46. Broken Hearted 277
47. Gossypiboma 283
48. Named 289
49. Blast from the Past 295
50. The Woman Who
Swallowed Her Cat 301
Acknowledgments 307
T R O DUCTI
N O
I N
Some cases in forensic medicine are so bizarre, so unbelievable,
bewildering and incomprehensible that they could not pos-
sibly be conceived in the imagination of a fiction writer or
Hollywood producer. These cases are so disturbing that they
have to be true. And the proof of their veracity lies in the some-
times dusty academic medical journal pages on which they
are published. To find these fantastic stories, I spent countless
hours scouring both recent publications and volumes that
had gone untouched since they were first bound and shelved
in medical library basements. Buried in thousands of obscure
case reports spanning decades, an occasional case jumped out
that was so strange, I found myself glued.
This book is a collection of fifty unbelievable and often
disturbing cases of accidents, homicides, traumas, autoerotic
vii
ROB MYERS, M.D.
fatalities, injuries and more. They are so mind-boggling that
they seem made up. But although names have been changed,
the medical facts have not. In fact, all of the following stories
are culled from medical journals and based on real events —
except for one.
Can you spot the one story in this book that is indeed a
work of fiction? Go to ecwpress.com/myers to cast your vote.
viii
DDRRAAGGOONN TTAALLEESS
1
Sheldon learned his first card trick at age seven, and by fifteen,
he considered himself an accomplished magician. Obsessed
with learning more than simple sleight of hand, he spent his
nights reading from books and practicing magic tricks on
anyone and everyone. Like a drug addict, Sheldon needed
progressively fancier tricks to fuel his passion. After a month
of unsuccessful attempts to swallow swords, Sheldon turned
to fire breathing in hopes of wowing his adolescent audience.
Small and socially awkward, Sheldon was an academic
underachiever. As his math and science skills continued to
disappoint his parents, he worked harder at magic, trying to
gain approval, and even awe, from his peers. He hoped that
breathing fire was a cool enough trick to boost him up the
high school social ladder at least a couple of rungs.
1