Table Of Content

Archive 1 9 9 & / K a t t k a s X h n e i f M d ‘ R e g i o n a l < H i - $ h S c h o o l THE CLASS OF 1996 DEDICATES THIS YEARBOOK TO OUR TEACHER AND FRIEND LOUIS R. TOSCANO. A TEACHER AFFECTS ETERNITY; HE CAN NEVER TELL WHERE HIS INFLUENCE STOPS. HENRY B. ADAMS Toscano Theorem One hen. Two ducks, Ho dee Hi - Hi dee Ho Three squawking geese, Four limerick oysters, Ho Ho Five corpulent porpoises, Six pairs of Don Alberto’s tweezers, Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array, Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of The rest is just dog Egypt, Nine apathetic diabetic sympathetic old men on roller work. Arf! Arf! el7r+l=0 skates with a marked propensity for procrastination and sloth, Ten lyrical spherical diabolical denizens of the deep who all waltzed around the corner with a quo and a quay and a Fundamental Theorem quibby at the very same time. Toot, toot! of Calculus What?! You never heard this one either? My friend, you’ve been culturally deprived. Actually, I’ll confess. I never Dante’s Inferno heard this song in kindergarten. For one thing, I spoke a different language then. No, I used to hear this constantly when I was in college, on Dick Sumner’s all night show on A Logarthim is an EX¬ Boston’s WBZ radio station. He was on from midnight to 6 PONENT AM. It was sort of his calling card, and he would break in with it about every hour. What was I doing up at that hour? Probably studying for an exam with my friends, quaffing root beer, and talking about life, and how we were going to Smoood and Continu¬ change the world. Ah, memories ... It was twenty-five The Calculus is easy, ous years ago, and I haven’t thought about this song for years. It it’s the algebra that kills suddenly came to me out of no-where as I was trying to you. think for a verse for the square root of 5 a few minutes ago. I’ll admit I got stuck half way through the “Nine” verse, but once I remembered the “roller skates”, the rest was easy. It’s amazing how much useless baggage, how many long- We can color the bun¬ forgotten and broken toys we keep in the attic of our minds. nies any color we want. And then one day an incident or a word sets off a long train All Suckers Teach of thought, and we climb back up to that attic and beneath Calculus the dust, rediscover ourselves. And so I was back in Room 210 of Carmichael Hall at Tufts University, with Ken and Jim and Joe and ... I wonder what they’re doing now ... I The narcissistic func¬ wonder if they’re still alive. tion But I digress . . . Let us close the attic and return to the problem at hand. Ah, yes. We were discussing concavity Snoopy and the square root of five. 3 Fighting the System, Everywhere I Newt pull a fast one mo I? >» '3 blah blah blah blah de blah hlnh ° 4 Another Queasy A Little Dab Will Do Ya Dave vs. Experience Jay i X E N E R E C “Will we ever run out of trees? Sea Work! m McVeigh Mill “Last night I did something completely insane.” ‘How can God be male? I find that insulting’ 5 9/ cS interesting lo leave a place, interesting lo even ibink aboul leaving it. Jfeaving reminds us of wbal we can pari wilb and wbal we can 7, Iben offers us something new lo look forward lo, lo dream aboul -titiicbardcTord 6