The Use of S E L F in T H E R A P Y Third Edition Michèle Baldwin Edited by The Use of Self in Therapy One of the most powerful factors in therapy is that it involves the inten- sive relationship between two (or more) human beings. The issues of transparency and self-disclosure therefore become important concerns for therapists; how can they use themselves effectively in their work without transgressing on professional regulations? These issues and concerns are addressed in this new edition of The Use of Self in Therapy by experienced therapists, who share their own wisdom, research, and experiences in valuable ways. Disregarding methodology or approach, the authors demonstrate how to train and develop the self and person of the therapist as a powerful adjunct to successful therapy. They enable practitioners to become more effective in helping their clients to realize and regain their own powers of healing and healthy recovery. This third edition also examines the impact of increasing professional regulation, as well as the impact of the internet and social media on the conduct of therapy. Also new to this edition are discussions of how therapists can use themselves in cultures that are less individually oriented. This book is a valuable addition to any therapist’s library and therapy supervisor’s teaching arsenal. Michèle Baldwin, MSSW, PhD, is a faculty member of the Family Institute at Northwestern University and a faculty member of the Chicago Center for Family Health. She also conducts a limited practice of marriage and family therapy. The Use of Self in Therapy Third Edition Edited by Michèle Baldwin First published 2013 by Routledge 711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017 Simultaneously published in the UK by Routledge 27 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 2FA Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business © 2013 Taylor & Francis The right of the editor to be identifi ed as the author of the editorial material, and of the authors for their individual chapters, has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. Trademark Notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identifi cation and explanation without intent to infringe. Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data The use of self in therapy/edited by Michele Baldwin.—3rd ed. p. cm. 1. Self. 2. Psychotherapy. I. Baldwin, Michele. RC489.S43U87 2012616 89′14—dc23 2012025054 ISBN: 978–0-415–89602–3 (hbk) ISBN: 978–0-415–89603–0 (pbk) ISBN: 978–0-203–07615–6 (ebk) Typeset in Sabon by Refi neCatch Limited, Bungay, Suffolk Dedicated to my husband, Bud, for a shared life of love, work, and play Contents About the Editor xi Contributors xii Foreword xiv CHARLES R. FIGLEY Preface xvi MICHÈLE BALDWIN Introduction 1 MICHÈLE BALDWIN 1 The Therapist Story 19 VIRGINIA SATIR The Role of Self in Therapy 20 Power and Therapy 22 The Positive Use of the Self 24 My Use of My Self 25 2 Interview with Carl Rogers on the Use of the Self in Therapy 28 MICHÈLE BALDWIN 3 Revealing Our Selves 36 CHARLES H. KRAMER Why Self-Disclosure? 38 Guidelines and Suggestions 40 Risks of Self-Disclosure 45 Benefi ts from Risking Openness 47 The Pull of a Style 57 Medical Practice 58 Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis 59 Child Psychiatry and Family Therapy 60 viii Contents 4 Some Philosophical and Psychological Contributions to the Use of Self in Therapy 64 DEWITT C. BALDWIN JR. Introduction 64 The Concept of the Self 65 The Contributions of Existential Philosophy 68 The Concept of the Self in Psychoanalysis and Psychiatry 72 The Infl uence of Existential Philosophy on Psychotherapy 74 Some Thoughts on the Use of Self in Psychotherapy 76 5 The Implications of the Wounded-Healer Archetype for the Use of Self in Psychotherapy 81 GRANT D. MILLER AND DEWITT C. BALDWIN JR. Introduction 81 Polarities 82 The Myth of the Wounded-Healer 82 Recent Interest in the Wounded-Healer Archetype 83 A Model for Viewing the Healing Process 84 Critical Elements in the Healing Process 87 Related Considerations 92 Summary 94 6 Uses of Self in Therapeutic Boundaries: Lessons from Training and Treatment 97 FRED P. PIERCY AND ANNIE K. BAO Introduction 97 Self-Disclosure 98 What is Appropriate to Introduce into Therapy? 100 Dual Relationships 101 Acknowledgment of Clients Outside of Therapy 102 Who Should You Work With? 103 Greetings and Send-Offs 104 Conclusion 106 7 The Self of the Addiction Counselor: Does Personal Recovery Insure Counselor Effectiveness and Empathy? 109 MERI L. SHADLEY AND COLLEEN JO HARVEY Origins of the Substance Abuse Profession 110 The Wounded Healer 112 Shame in Recovery 113 The Self of the Therapist 115 Contents ix Self-Disclosure 116 Effectiveness 117 Self of the Therapist Training Model 119 SPATS 120 Therapists’ Use of Self 122 Use-of-Self Styles 123 Closing 123 8 Functional Analytic Psychotherapy and the Use of Self 128 BARBARA S. KOHLENBERG Functional Analytic Psychotherapy’s Focus on the Here and Now 129 Clinically Relevant Behavior 130 The Five Rules of Therapy 132 The Rules of the Technique 133 Maximizing the Therapist as an Instrument of Change 137 Conclusion 139 9 The Person and Practice of the Therapist: Treatment and Training 141 HARRY J. APONTE AND JOAN E. WINTER Fundamental Therapeutic Skills 141 Inception of the Person-Practice Model 147 Theoretical Framework 148 Training Models for the Person of the Therapist 155 Goals in Training the Person of the Therapist 159 Conclusion 161 10 Congruence and the Therapist’s Use of Self 166 PETER K. H. CHEUNG AND GRACE Y. K. PAU Sorting Out Some Confusions 166 Congruence is Resonating with What One Feels (Ying Wu) 168 Congruence is Letting “What One Feels” Emerge in an Interactive Process 170 Three Qualities of a Congruent Interaction: Congruently Connected is Connected and Free 174 Congruent Acceptance Accepts the Not-Accepting 177 Being Congruently in Charge is to Nurture the Good in All Things, Quietly and Respectfully 179 Therapist Congruence is the Condition for the Therapist’s Use of Self 181