The Ultimate Alchemy, Vol 2

245 Pages·1989·0.87 MB·English

by  .

The Ultimate Alchemy, Vol 2
TalksontheAtmaPoojaUpanishad
Talksgivenfrom01/07/72pmto09/08/72pm
EnglishDiscourseseries
1
CHAPTER
Awareness: The Gateway Toward Eden
1July1972pmin
CHIDAGNISWAROOPAMDHOOPAH
”TOCREATETHEFIREOFAWARENESSINONESELFISDHOOP,THEINCENSE.”
FOR PHILOSOPHY, many are the problems – infinite. But for religion there is only one problem,
and that problem is man himself. It is not that man has problems, but man is the problem. And why
ismantheproblem?
Animals are not problems. They are so unconscious. blissfully unconscious, ignorant, that there is
no possibility of there being any awareness of problems. Problems are there, but animals are not
aware. There are no problems for gods because they are totally conscious. When the mind is a
total consciousness, problems simply disappear like darkness. But for man there is anguish. The
verybeingofman,theveryexistenceofman,isaproblem,becausemanexistsbetweenthesetwo
realms: therealmoftheanimalsandtherealmofthegods.
Manexistsasabridgebetweentwoinfinities: theinfinityofignoranceandtheinfinityofknowledge.
Man is neither animal nor Divine. Or, man is both – animal and Divine; that is the problem. Man is
a suspended existence – something incomplete, something which is still to be – a becoming, not a
being.
Animals have beings. Man is a becoming. He is not; he is only becoming. Man is a process.
The process is incomplete. It has left the world of ignorance and it has not reached the world of
knowledge. Manisinbetween. Thatcreatestheproblem,thetension,theanguishandtheconstant
conflict.
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Thereareonlytwowaystobeatpeace,tobewithoutproblems: oneistofallback,toregress,tofall
back to the world of animals; the other is to transcend, to go forward and to be a part of the Divine
Being. Tobeeitheranimalsorgods: thesearethetwoalternatives.
To fall back is easy, but it is going to be a temporary thing – because once you have grown you
cannotfallbackpermanently. Youcanregressforamoment,butthenyouareagainthrownforward,
because there really is no way to go back. There is really no possibility of falling back. You cannot
beachildagainifyouhavebecomeayoungadult,andyoucannotbecomeyoungagainifyouhave
become old. If you know something, then you cannot fall back to the state when you were ignorant.
Youcannotgoback. butforamomentyoucanforgetthepresentandrelivethepastinyourmemory,
inyourmind.
So man can regress to the animal level. It is blissful, but temporary. That is the reason why
intoxicants, drugs, alcohol, have such an appeal. When you become unconscious through some
chemical you have fallen back for a moment. For the time being you are not a man, you are not a
problem. Youareagainpartoftheworldofanimals,theunconsciousexistence. Thenyouarenota
man;thatiswhytherearenoproblems.
Humanity has been constantly finding things from soma rasa to LSD in order to forget, to regress,
to be just childlike, to regain the animal innocence, to be without problems: that is, to be without
humanity, because to me humanity means to be a problem. This falling back, this regression, is
possible, but only temporarily. You will come back again, you will be a man again, and the same
problems will be standing and waiting for you. Rather, they will be more acute. Your absence is not
going to dissolve them. They will become more complicated and complex. Then a vicious circle is
created.
When you are again back and conscious, you have to face problems which have become more
complicated because of your absence. They have grown. Then you have to forget yourself again
and again, and every time you forget and regress, your problems are growing: you will have to face
your humanity again and again. One cannot escape that way. One can deceive oneself, but one
cannotescapethatway.
The other alternative is arduous: that is, to grow to be a being. When I say ”regress”, I mean to
becomeunconscious–tolosethesmallconsciousnessthatwehave. WhenIsay”tobeaBeing”,I
meantoloseunconsciousnessandtobetotallyconscious.
As we are, only a part is conscious – only a very small fragment of the Being is conscious, and
the remaining whole continent is just dark. A small island is conscious, and the whole continent.
the mainland, is under darkness. When this small island also becomes dark, you have regressed,
you have fallen back. This ignorance is blissful because now you are not aware of the problems.
Problems are there. but you are not aware. So at least for you it appears there are no problems.
This isthe ostrich method: closeyour eyes, and your enemy isnot there becausewhen youcannot
see – this childish, juvenile logic says that when you cannot see something – it is not: unless you
seesomethingitisnot. Soifyoucannotfeelproblemstheyarenotthere!
WhenIsay”tobeaBeing”,totranscendhumanity,tobecomeDivine,Imeantobetotallyconscious
– to be not only an island, but the whole continent. This awareness will also lead you beyond
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problemsbecauseproblemsaretherebasicallybecauseofyou. Problemsarenotobjectiverealities:
they are subjective phenomena. You create your problems! And unless you are transformed, you
will go on creating problems. You solve one, and really, in solving that one, you will create many
because you remain the same. Problems are not objective things. They are part of you. Because
youaresuch,youcreatesuchproblems.
Sciencetriestosolveproblemsobjectively,andsciencethinksthatiftherearenoproblemsmanwill
beatease. Problemscanbesolvedobjectively,butmanwillnotbeatease–becausemanhimself
is the problem. If he solves some problem, he will create others. He is their creator. If you give a
better society, the problems will change, but problems will remain. If you give better health, better
medicine,theproblemswillchange,butproblemswillremain.
Quantitatively, there will be as many problems as ever because man remains the same; only the
situation changes. You change the situation: old problems will not be there, but there will be new
problems. And new problems are more problematic than any old problems because you have
become accustomed to old problems. With new problems you feel more inconvenience. That is
why, in our times, we have changed our whole situation, but problems are there – more fatal, more
anxietycreating.
That is the difference between religion and science. Science thinks problems are objective, from
outsidesomewhere–thattheycanbechangedwithoutchangingyou. Religionthinksproblemsare
here inside, in me – rather, that I am the problem. Unless I change, nothing is going to be different.
Shapeswillbedifferent,nameswillbedifferent,butthesubstancewillremainthesame. Iwillcreate
anotherworldofproblems;Iwillgoonprojectingnewproblems.
Thisman,unconscioustohisownbeing,unawareofhimself,isthecreatorofproblems. Notknowing
who he is, what he is, without any acquaintance with himself, he goes on creating problems –
becauseunlessyouknowyourselfyoucannotknowforwhatyouareexistingandliving,youcannot
know where you have to move, you cannot feel what your destiny is, and you can never feel any
meaning. You will go on doing many things, but everything will ultimately lead you to frustration –
becauseifyoudoanythingwithoutknowingwhyyouare,forwhatyouare,itisnotgoingtogiveyou
a deep contentment. It is irrelevant. The very point is missed, your effort is wasted. And, ultimately,
everyone is frustrated. Those who succeed are more frustrated than those who are not successful
because those who are not successful can still hope. But those who are successful cannot even
hope. Theircasebecomeshopeless. SoIsaynothingfailslikesuccess.
Religion thinks in terms of subjectivity, science in terms of objectivity: ”Change the situation; do
not touch the man.” Religion says, ”Change the man; the situation is irrelevant.” Whatsoever the
situation, a different mind, a transformed being, will be beyond problems. That is why a Buddha
can exist in absolute peace as a beggar, and a Midas cannot live at peace even when he has the
alchemical miracle with him: whatsoever he touches becomes gold. The situation with Midas has
become golden; everything he touches becomes gold. But this doesn’t change anything. Rather,
Midasisinamorecomplicatedproblematicsituation.
Now our world has created, through science, a Midas situation. Now we can touch anything and it
becomes gold. A Buddha living as a beggar lives in such a deep peaCe and silence that emperors
become jealous of him. What is the secret? The emphasis on man – the inside of man – is
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significant, not the situation. So you must change the inside of man. And there is only one change:
if you grow in your awareness, you change, you mutate. If you fall down in your awareness, again
you change, you mutate. But if your awareness is lessened, you fall down toward animals. If your
awarenessisincreased,youmoveuptowardthegods.
This is the only problem for religion: how to increase awareness. That is why religions have always
been against drugs. The reason is not moral or ethical – no! And the so-called moralist puritans
have given a very wrong colour to the whole thing. For religions, it is not a question of morality that
someone takes drugs. It is not a question of morality at all because morality only begins when I
come in contact with someone else. If I take alcohol and become unconscious, it is no one else’s
affair. I am doing something with myself. Violence is a question for morality, not alcohol. Even if I
give you a promise to meet you at a particular time and I miss it, it is immoral because somebody
elseisinvolved. Alcoholcanbecomeamoralquestiononlyifsomeoneelseisinvolved,otherwiseit
is not a moral question at all. It is something you do with yourself. For religions it is not a question
of morality at all. For religions it is a deeper question: it is a question of increasing or decreasing
awareness.
Once you have the habit of falling down into unconsciousness, it will be more and more difficult to
increaseyourawareness. Itwillbecomemoreandmoredifficultbecauseyourbodywillnotsupport
you in increasing awareness. It will support you in decreasing it. The very metabolism of your body
will help you to be unconscious. It will not help you to be conscious. And anything that becomes a
barrierinbeingmoreawareisareligiousproblem,notamoralproblem.
So sometimes it happens that you may find an alcoholic to be a more moral person than a non-
alcoholic, but never a more religious person. An alcoholic may be more compassionate than a
nonalcoholic; he may be more loving than a non-alcoholic, he may be more honest, but never more
religious. AndwhenIsay”nevermorereligious”,Imeanneveramoreawareandconsciousperson.
Thisgrowthintoawarenesscreatesanguish.
It will be good to understand the old Biblical story of Adam and Eve. They were expelled from
Heaven; they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. It is a very deep psychological story. God
allowed them to eat anything they desired except one fruit. One tree was not to be touched at all,
andthattreewastheTreeofKnowledge. Thisisstrange,Godforbiddinghischildrentoeatthefruit
of the Tree of Knowledge! This looks very contradictory. What type of a God is this? And what type
ofafatherisagainsthischildrenbecomingwiseandknowing? Thisstoryhastroubledmanyminds.
WhyshouldGodprohibitknowledge? Wevalueknowledgeverymuch,butitwasforbidden.
Adam and Eve existed in an animal world. They were blissful, but they were ignorant. Children
are blissful, but they are also ignorant. And children, if they have to grow, must grow in knowledge.
There is no other way of growth. And if you are ignorant you may be blissful, but you cannot be
awareofyourblissfulness.
This has to be understood: you can be blissful when you are ignorant, but you cannot feel
your blissfulness, you cannot be aware of your blissfulness. The moment you begin to feel your
blissfulness, you are out of ignorance. Knowledge has entered; you have become a knowing one.
So Adam and Eve existed just as animals – absolutely ignorant and blissful. But remember, this
blissfulness,too,wasnotaknownfacttothem. Theywerejustblissfulwithoutknowingit.
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The story says that the Devil tempted Eve to eat the fruit, and the reason the Devil could tempt Eve
was this: he told her, ”If you eat this fruit, you will be like gods.” This is very meaningful. Unless you
eat this fruit of Knowledge, the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, you can never be like gods; you will
remain animals. And that is why God had prohibited, forbidden them, to touch this tree. But they
weretempted!
This word ”devil” is very beautiful, and particularly for Indians. It has a different significance than
forChristiansbecause”devil”comesfromthesameword,fromthesameroot,fromwhich”deva”or
”devata” – god – comes. ”Devil” and ”divine” both come from the same root. So it seems that the
Christian story is a misrepresentation, somehow incomplete. One thing is known: the Devil himself
wasarebelliousgod,arebelliousangelwhorebelledagainstGod. Buthewasagodhimself.
Why am I saying this? Because to me there are not two forces in the world of God and the Devil;
thatdichotomyisfalse. Thereisonlyoneforce! Andthedichotomyisnotoftwoenemies,butoftwo
polarities of one force: God and the Devil. It is one force working as two polarities, because unless
aforceworksintwopolaritiesitcannotwork.
SotomethisBiblicalstorytakesanewmeaning. Godprohibitedbecauseyoucantemptonlyifyou
prohibit. If the Tree of Knowledge had not been mentioned at all, it seems improbable that Adam
would ever have thought of or imagined eating of this particular tree. The Garden of Eden was big,
therewereinfinitetrees. Wedonotevenknowthenameofanyothertree.
This tree became important because it became prohibited. This prohibition became an invitation;
this denial became the temptation. It is not really the Devil who tempted. In the first place, God
himself tempted. This was the temptation: ”Do not go near the Tree of Knowledge; do not eat the
fruit of it. Only one tree is prohibited; otherwise you are free.” Suddenly this one tree becomes the
mostimportantintheGarden.
And to me ”devil” is just another name for the Divine – the other polarity, and the Devil tempted Eve
because then she could be ”like the gods”: this was the promise. And who would not like to be like
thegods? Whowouldnotlikeit?
Adam and Eve were tempted and then they were expelled from Heaven. But this expulsion is part
oftheprocess. Really,thisHeavenwasananimalexistence–blissful,butignorant. Becauseofthis
eatingofthefruitoftheTreeofKnowledge,AdamandEvebecamehumanbeings. Beforethatthey
were not human beings at all. ”They became human beings”: when I say this, I mean they became
problems.
It is reported that the first words Adam asserted just coming out of the gate of the Garden were
this: ”We are living in a very revolutionary time.” It was a revolutionary time. Never will the human
mind know such a revolution again as this expulsion from the animal world, this expulsion from a
blissful, ignorant existence. The times were really revolutionary. Other revolutions are just nothing
bycomparison. Thegreatestrevolutionwasthat–theexpulsion.
But why were they expelled? The moment you know, the moment you become aware, you cannot
live in bliss. Problems will arise. And even if you are in bliss, this problem will come to your mind:
”WhyamIinbliss? Why?”Andyoucannotfeelblissunlessyoufeelanguish,becauseeveryfeeling
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ispossibleonlywithitspolaropposite. Youcanfeelhappinessonlyifyoubegintofeelunhappiness;
you can begin to feel a healthy well-being only when you begin to feel illness; you cannot be aware
oflifeunlessyoubecomeafraidofdeath.
Animals live, but they are not aware that they are alive because they are not aware of any death.
Death is not a problem for them, so they pass through life, but they are not alive in the same sense
as man is. Man becomes alive, aware of his being alive, only because of death. With knowledge
polarity comes into existence, and with polarity come problems. Then every moment is a conflict.
Then every moment you are suspended as two. Then never again will you be one. You will be
continuouslydivided,inconflict,ininnerturmoil.
So, really, that was a revolution – the revolution, rather: Adam and Eve were turned out, expelled.
Really, this story is very beautiful. No one expelled them, no one ordered them. No one said, ”Go
out!” They were out. The moment they became aware, they were not in the Garden at all. This was
automatic. Think about this: a dog sitting here suddenly becomes aware of the situation. Then he
is expelled. No one expels him, but he is no more an animal. He is thrown out of the animal state
andhecanneveragainbethesame.
Adam and Eve tried again and again to enter, but they have not yet found the gate again. They go
around and around, but the gate is always missed. There is no gate. The expulsion is total and
ultimate. They cannot enter again because knowledge is a sweet and bitter fruit – sweet and bitter
both: sweet because it gives you power and bitter because it gives you problems; sweet because
for the first time you become an ego, and bitter because with the ego every disease will be yours. It
isadouble-edgedsword.
Adam was tempted because the Devil said, ”You will become like the gods. You will be powerful.”
Knowledgeispower,butifyouknow,youhavetoknowbothsidesofthecoin. Youcanfeelmorelife,
you can be more blissful, but you will become aware of death. You will be more blissful, but in the
same proportion you will have to suffer anguish. This is the problem, this is what man is – a deep
anguish,adeepdivisionbetweentwopolarities.
Youcanfeellife,butwhendeathisthereeverythingispoisoned. Whendeathisthere,everymoment
everything is poisoned. How can you be alive when death is there? How can you feel blissful when
suffering is there? And even if a moment of happiness comes to you, it is fleeting. And when the
momentisthere,eventhenyouareawarethatsomewherebehindtheunhappinessisthere,misery
is there, hiding. It will come up soon – sooner or later. So even a moment of happiness is poisoned
by your consciousness that somewhere unhappiness is hidden, is coming near. It is just by the
corner,andyouwillhavetomeetit.
Man becomes conscious of the future, conscious of the past, conscious of life, conscious of death.
Kierkegaard has called this consciousness ”anguish”. You can fall back, but that is a temporary
measure. Again you will come up. So the only possibility is to grow – to grow in knowledge to a
point from where you can jump out of it, because the jump is possible only from the extremes. One
extremewehave: tofallback. Wecandoit,butitisimpossiblebecausewecannotremaininit. We
are thrown forward again and again. The other possibility is that if we grow in awareness, there is a
pointwhenyouaretotallyaware,whereyoutranscend.
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We have ”known”, now we must know something beyond knowledge. We have come out of the
Garden because of knowledge and we can enter this Garden again only when we throw this
knowledge. Butthisthrowingispossiblenotbyregression–thatgatefromwhichAdamwasexpelled
we can never find again – we can find another gate from which Christ was invited or Buddha was
invited. Wecanthrowthisknowledge,wecanthrowthisawareness,butonlyfromtheextremepoint
wherewearetotallyaware.
When one becomes totally aware, when even this feeling that ”I am aware” is thrown, when one
becomes just like the animals when they are happy and blissful (they do not know that when you
are totally aware you become a god), if that awareness is total, then you are simply aware without
knowing that you are aware. This simple awareness will begin the entry – will be the entry. You will
be again in the Garden – not as animals now, but as gods. And this is an inevitable process. This
expulsion of Adam and the entry of a Jesus is an inevitable process. One has to be thrown out of
one’signorance: thisisthefirststep. Andthenonehastobethrownoutofone’sknowledge: thatis
thesecondstep.
This sutra is concerned with awareness: ”To create the fire of awareness in oneself is the incense”
–tocreatethefireofawarenessinoneself!
First it must be understood what is meant by awareness. You are walking; you are aware of many
things: of the shops, of people passing by you, of the traffic, of everything. You are aware of many
things, only unaware of one thing: yourself. You are walking on the street: you are aware of many
things; you are only not aware of yourself! This awareness of the self Gurdjieff has called ”self-
remembering”. Gurdjieffsays,”Constantly,whereveryouare,rememberyourself.”
For example, you are here. You are listening to me, but you are not aware of the listener. You may
beawareofthespeaker,butyouarenotawareofthelistener. Beawareofthelistener. Feelyourself
here;youarehere. Foramomentaglimpsecomes,andagainyouforget. Try!
Whatsoever you are doing, go on doing one thing inside continuously: be aware of yourself doing
it. You are eating: be aware of yourself. You are walking: be aware of yourself. You are listening,
you are speaking: be aware of yourself. When you are angry, be aware that you are angry. In the
very moment that anger is there, be aware that you are angry. This constant remembering of the
selfcreatesasubtleenergy–averysubtleenergyinyou. Youbegintobeacrystallizedbeing.
Ordinarily, you are just a loose bag. No crystallization, no center really – just a liquidity, just a loose
combination of many things without any center – a crowd, constantly shifting and changing, with
no master inside. By awareness is meant be a master! And when I say ”Be a master”, I do not
meantobeacontroller. WhenIsay”Beamaster”,Imeanbeapresence–acontinuouspresence.
Whatsoever you are doing or not doing, one thing must be constantly in your consciousness: that
youare.
Thissimplefeelingofoneself,thatoneis,createsacenter–acenterofstillness,acenterofsilence,
acenterofinnermastery–aninnerpower. AndwhenIsay”aninnerpower”,Imeanitliterally. That
iswhythissutrasays”thefireofawareness”. Itisafire. ITISAFIRE!Ifyoubegintobeaware,you
begin to feel a new energy in you – a new fire, a new life. And because of this new life, new power,
newenergy,manythingswhichweredominatingyoujustdissolve. Youhavenottofightwiththem.
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You have to fight with your anger, your greed, your sex, because you are weak. So, really, greed,
angerandsexarenottheproblems. Weaknessistheproblem. Onceyoubegintobestrongerinside,
with a feeling of inner presence that you are, your energies become concentrated, crystallized on a
single point, and a Self is born. Remember, not an ego but a Self is born. Ego is a false sense of
Self. Without having any Self you go on believing that you have a Self. That is ego. Ego means a
falseself. YouarenotaSelf,andstillyoubelievethatyouareaSelf.
Maulungputra,aseekerofTruth,cametoBuddha. Buddhaaskedhim,”Whatareyouseeking?”
Maulungputrasaid,”IamseekingmySelf. Helpme!”
Buddhaaskedhimtogiveapromisethatwhatsoeverwassaidwouldbedonebyhim. Maulungputra
began to weep and he said, ”How can I promise?’I’ am not.’I’ am yet not. How can I promise? I do
not know what I am going to be tomorrow. I do not have any Self which can promise, so do not
ask me the impossible. I will try. I can say this much at the most: I will try. But I cannot say that
whatsoeveryousayIwilldo,becausewhowilldoit? Iamseekingthatwhichcanpromiseandwhich
canfulfillapromise.’I’amyetnot.”
Buddha said, ”Maulungputra, to hear this I asked you that question. If you had promised, I would
have turned you out. Had you said,’I promise that I will do it,’ then I would have known that you are
not really a seeker for the Self, because a seeker must know that ’he’ is yet not. Otherwise, what is
the purpose of seeking? If you are already, there is no need. You are not! And if one can feel this,
thentheegoevaporates.”
Egoisafalsenotionofsomethingwhichisnotthereatall. ”Self”meansacenterwhichcanpromise.
This center is created by being continuously aware, constantly aware. Be aware that you are doing
something – that you are sitting, that now you are going to sleep, that now sleep is coming to you,
thatyouarefalling. Trytobeconsciousineverymoment,andthenyouwillbegintofeelthatacenter
is born within you, things have begun to crystallize, a centering is there. Everything now is related
toacenter.
We are without centers. Sometimes we feel centered, but those are moments when a situation
makes you aware. If there is suddenly a situation, a very dangerous situation, you will begin to feel
a center in you because in danger you become aware. If someone is going to kill you, you cannot
think in that moment, you cannot be unconscious in that moment. Your whole energy is centered,
and that moment becomes solid. You cannot move to the past, you cannot move to the future. This
verymomentbecomeseverything. Andthenyouarenotonlyawareofthekiller: youbecomeaware
ofyourself–theonewhoisbeingkilled.
In that subtle moment you begin to feel a center in yourself. That is why dangerous games have
their appeal. Ask someone going to the top of Gaurishanker, of Mount Everest. When for the first
time Hillary was there, he must have felt a sudden center. And when for the first time someone was
on the moon, a sudden feeling of a center must have come. That is why danger has appeal. You
are driving a car and you go on to more and more speed, and then the speed becomes dangerous.
Then you cannot think; thoughts cease. Then you cannot dream. Then you cannot imagine. Then
the present becomes solid. In that dangerous moment, when any instant death is possible, you are
suddenly aware of a center in yourself. Danger has appeal only because in danger you sometimes
feelcentered.
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Nietzsche somewhere says that war must continue because only in war is a Self sometimes felt –
a center is felt – because war is danger. And when death becomes a reality, life becomes intense.
When death is just near, life becomes intense and you are centered. But in any moment when you
becomeawareofyourself. thereisacentering. Butifitissituational,thenwhenthesituationisover
itwilldisappear.
It must not be just situational. It must be inner. So try to be aware in every ordinary activity. When
sitting on your chair, try it: be aware of the sitter. Not only of the chair, not only of the room, of the
surroundingatmosphere,beawareofthesitter. Closeyoureyesandfeelyourself;digdeepandfeel
yourself.
Herrigel was learning with a Zen Master. He was learning archery for three years continuously.
And the Master would always say, ”It is good. Whatsoever you are doing is good, but not enough.”
Herrigel himself became a master archer. His aims became one hundred percent perfect, and still
theMasterwouldsay,”Youaredoingwell,butitisnotenough.”
”With one hundred percent perfect aims!” said Herrigel. ”Then what is your expectation? How can I
nowgofurther? Withonehundredpercentaccuracy,howcanyouexpectanymore?”
The Zen Master is reported to have said, ”I am not concerned with your archery or your aims. I am
concerned with you. You have become a perfect technician. But when your arrow leaves the bow
you are not aware of yourself, so it is futile! I am not concerned with the arrow reaching the aim.
I am concerned with YOU! When the arrow in the bow is arrowed, inside also your consciousness
must be arrowed. And even if you miss the aim it makes no difference, but the inner aim must not
bemissedandyouaremissingthat. Youhavebecomeaperfecttechnician,butyouareanimitator.”
But to a Western mind or, really, to a modern mind (and the Western mind is the modern mind),
it is very difficult to conceive of this. It appears nonsense. Archery is concerned with a particular
efficiencyofaiming.
By and by Herrigel became disappointed, and one day he said, ”Now I am leaving. It seems
impossible! It is impossible! When you are aiming at something, your awareness goes to your
aim,totheobject,andifyouaretobeasuccessfularcheryouhavetoforgetyourself–toremember
only the aim, the target, and forget everything. Only the target must be there.” But the Zen Master
was continuously forcing him to create another target inside. This arrow must be double-arrowed:
pointingtowardthetargetoutsideandcontinuouslypointingtowardtheinside–theSelf.
Herrigel said, ”Now I will leave. It seems impossible. Your conditions cannot be fulfilled.” And the
day he was leaving, he was just sitting. He had come to take leave of the Master, and the Master
was aiming at another target. Someone else was learning, and for the first time Herrigel was not
involved. Hehadjustcometotakeleave;hewassitting. ThemomenttheMasterwouldbefinished
withhisteaching,hewouldtakeleaveandgo. Forthefirsttimehewasnotinvolved.
But then, suddenly, he became aware of the Master and the double-arrowed consciousness of the
Master. The Master was aiming. For three years continuously he was with the same Master, but he
wasmoreconcernedwithhisowneffort. Hehadneverseenthisman–whathewasdoing. Forthe
first time he saw and realized, and suddenly, spontaneously, with no effort, he came to the Master,
tookthebowfromhishand,aimedatthetargetandreleasedthearrow. AndtheMastersaid,”Okay!
Forthefirsttimeyouhavedoneit. Iamhappy.”
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