The Trauma Myth: The Truth About the Sexual Abuse of Children--and Its Aftermath

257 Pages·2010·36.32 MB·English

by  Susan A. Clancy

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PSYCHOLOGY / SELF-HELP The Truth About the $25.00 US / $31.95 CAN
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n a rainy night some years ago, a man presented
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himself at the office of Susan Clancy, a researcher
“Withherusualclarityofproseandreasoning,SusanClancyhaswrittenacalmandpersuasiveassessment
—and Its Aftermath
in psychology at Harvard University. He’d seen an
ofavolatilesubject.Ihighlyrecommendthisbookforanyonewithapersonalorprofessionalinterest
ad in the newspaper, calling for adults who were victims of
inchildabuse—whichshouldbeallofus.” —CAROL TAVRIS, Ph.D.,
coauthorofMistakesWereMade(ButNotbyMe) sexual abuse as children. He was one. And he had a question:
He hadn’t experienced the abuse as traumatically as everyone
“TheTraumaMythisnotadebunkingofthepsychicdamagethatsexualabuseofchildrencancauseor thought he would—his emotions were complicated. He
adenialofitsexistence.Ratheritrevealshowsexualabuseoccursandilluminatesitspathogenicnature wanted to know if that made him strange.
bydrawingupondescriptionsfrompeopleinthepopulationatlargeratherthanintheclinic.Readthis Sexual abuse of a child is horrifying for an adult to
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booksoastounderstandjustwhatisinvolvedinthesematters,tograspwhatisneededtoprotect contemplate. But the severity of our reactions can, according
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childrenfromtheseexperiences,andtotreatthemiftheyhavebeensomiserablybetrayed.It’sagreat to Susan Clancy, actually interfere with a victim’s recovery
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rin storyofdiscovery—abouttruth,aboutinterpretation,andaboutwhytruthmatters.” —PAUL MCHUGH, from the event. Drawing on the latest research on memory
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n F UniversityDistinguishedServiceProfessorofPsychiatryatJohnsHopkinsUniversity; E T R A U M A and traumatic experience, Clancy demonstrates that
be authorofTrytoRemember
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do. They describe abuse memories and their molestation
Susan A. Clancy “PsychologistSusanClancyexplodesconventionalwisdomaboutchildsexualabuse.Thoughneverever R M
is Research Director of the encounters in ways that don’t fit the conventional trauma D
thechild’sfault,asClancymakescrystalclear,abuseisnotusuallyexperiencedastraumaticwhenit D
Center for Women’s Advancement, Development and A model. In fact, the most common feeling reported is not fear A
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Leadershipat INCAE, the Central American Institute for U M Y T H or panic, but confusion. M
victimshowtheyshouldfeelabouttheirexperience.TheTraumaMythisanextremelybravebook,filled 1
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Business Administration in Nicaragua. She is the author of withenoughdatatosatisfytheopen-mindedskepticandagreatstoreofcompassionforvictims.” M Calling for an honest look at sexual abuse and its aftermath, 563
Abducted. She has been featured in Scientific American, Clancy argues that the reactions of society and the healing 00
—SALLY SATEL, MD, A 1
Psychology Today, and the New York Times, and has appeared YaleUniversitySchoolofMedicine;residentscholaratAmericanEnterpriseInstitute; professions—however well-meaning—in fact shackle the 0/2
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on Larry King Live, CNN, and more. She lives in Cambridge, authorofPC,M.D.andcoauthorofOneNationUnderTherapy victims of abuse in chains of guilt, secrecy, and shame. If /0
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Massachusetts, and Managua, Nicaragua. victims are to heal, they must be allowed to honestly describe Y
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how they felt and feel, so that our horror at the crimes they’ve
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$25.00US/ $31.95 CAN
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H Path-breaking and controversial, The Trauma Mythwill E
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radically reshapeour understanding of sexual abuse and its O
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A Member of the Perseus Books Group
Jacket design by Kathleen DiGrado www.basicbooks.com Susan A. Clancy, Ph.D. consequences. LA
Jacket photograph © Image Source / Getty Images C
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10/09
9780465016884-text_clancy 11/3/09 9:08 AM Page i
THE
TRAUMA
MYTH
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ALSO BY
SUSANA. CLANCY
Abducted
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THE
TRAUMA
MYTH
THE TRUTH ABOUT THE
SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN—
AND ITS AFTERMATH
Susan A. Clancy, Ph.D.
BASICBOOKS
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
New York
9780465016884-text_clancy 11/10/09 12:46 PM Page iv
Copyright © 2009 by Susan A. Clancy
Published by
Basic Books, A Member of the Perseus Books Group
387 Park Avenue South
New York, NY 10016
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of
this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written
permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical
articles and reviews. For information, address the Perseus Books Group,
387 Park Avenue South, New York, NY 10016-8810.
Books published by Basic Books are available at special discounts for bulk
purchases in the United States by corporations, institutions, and other
organizations. For more information, please contact the Special Markets
Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300 Chestnut Street, Suite
200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call [phone], ext. 5000, or e-mail
[email protected].
Designed by Pauline Brown
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Clancy, Susan A.
The trauma myth : the truth about the sexual abuse of children—and
its aftermath / Susan A. Clancy.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-465-01688-4 (alk. paper)
1. Child sexual abuse. 2. Sexually abused children. I. Title.
HV6570.C66 2009
362.76—dc22
2009032435
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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CONTENTS
A NOTE TO THE READER vii
PREFACE ix
Introduction
1
1
What Was It Like When It Happened?
23
2
The Truth About Sexual Abuse
47
3
The Politics of Sexual Abuse
77
4
Why the Trauma Myth Damages Victims
111
5
How the Trauma Myth Silences Victims
149
Conclusion
179
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 205
NOTES 207
INDEX 231
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A NOTE TO
THE READER
THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE. It is based
on interviews with adults, all of whom were victims of
sexual abuse as children, who participated in research
studies at Harvard University between October 1996
and August 2005. During the process of writing, my
first priority was to protect the confidentiality of the
victims discussed in this book. For many it was the first
time they had spoken out about the sexual crimes against
them. It was also very important to me to portray the
reality of sexual abuse, the personality of the people
who were abused, the complex interpersonal dynamics
they faced both at the time of the abuse and in the after-
math, and the multitude of ways these crimes affect
them throughout the course of their lives. In my attempt
vii
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A NOTE TO THE READER
to reconcile both goals, I have opted to change the
names of all the victims featured in this book and to
either omit or modify any clearly identifying charac-
teristics(such as age, birth date, place of residence, and
specific occupation). That being said, the quotes through-
out this book are taken verbatim from the actual vic-
tims’ transcribed interviews. In this way I hope to
respect and protect subject confidentiality while still
accurately characterizing the humanity of these vic-
tims and the heartbreaking complexity of the crimes
they experienced.
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PREFACE
FALL 1996
FRANK GIRARD IS FORTY-TWO YEARS OLD. He has a
steady job as a tax advisor, a wife of twenty years (his
high school sweetheart), and three kids whose photos
dangle from his key chain. Once a week he coaches a
junior high school basketball team and at least twice
a month he brings his family to church. Every March
they all go to Sarasota, Florida, where Frank’s invested
with his brother in a time-share near the beach. On the
outside Frank has it all—family, financial security, and
good health—but on the inside he feels differently.
When Frank Girard was nine years old, something
bad happened to him, something that he believes funda-
mentally damaged him, that powerfully and perma-
nently changed how he felt about himself, who he is, his
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