The Too-Good Wife: Alcohol, Codependency, and the Politics of Nurturance in Postwar Japan (Ethnographic Studies in Subjectivity)

255 Pages·2005·0.82 MB·English

by  Amy Borovoy

A
B O O K
The Philip E. Lilienthal imprint honors special books
in commemoration of a man whose work
at the University of California Press from 1954 to 1979
was marked by dedication to young authors
and to high standards in the field of Asian Studies.
Friends, family, authors, and foundations
have together endowed the Lilienthal Fund,
which enables the Press to publish under this imprint
selected books in a way that reflects the taste and judgment
of a great and beloved editor.
The publisher gratefully acknowledges the generous
contribution to this book provided by the Philip E.
Lilienthal Asian Studies Endowment Fund of the
University of California Press Foundation, which
is supported by a major gift from Sally Lilienthal.
THE TOO-GOOD WIFE
ETHNOGRAPHIC STUDIES IN SUBJECTIVITY
Tanya Luhrmann and Steven Parish, Editors
1. Forget Colonialism? Sacrifice and the Art of Memory in Madagascar,
by Jennifer Cole
2. Sensory Biographies: Lives and Deaths among Nepal’s Yolmo Buddhists,
by Robert Desjarlais
3. Culture and the Senses: Bodily Ways of Knowing in an African Community,
by Kathryn Linn Geurts
4. Becoming Sinners: Christianity and Moral Torment in a Papua New Guinea Society,
by Joel Robbins
5. Jesus in Our Wombs: Embodying Modernity in a Mexican Convent,
byRebecca J. Lester
6. The Too-Good Wife: Alcohol, Codependency, and the Politics
of Nurturance in Postwar Japan,
by Amy Borovoy
THE TOO-GOOD WIFE
Alcohol, Codependency, and the Politics
of Nurturance in Postwar Japan
Amy Borovoy
University of California Press Berkeley Los Angeles London
University ofCalifornia Press, one ofthe most distinguished university presses in
the United States, enriches lives around the world by advancing scholarship in the
humanities, social sciences, and natural sciences. Its activities are supported by the
UC Press Foundation and by philanthropic contributions from individuals and
institutions. For more information, visit www.ucpress.edu.
University ofCalifornia Press
Berkeley and Los Angeles, California
University ofCalifornia Press, Ltd.
London, England
© 2005 by The Regents ofthe University ofCalifornia
Library ofCongress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Borovoy, Amy Beth.
The too-good wife : alcohol, codependency, and the politics ofnurturance in
postwar Japan / Amy Borovoy.
p. cm. — (Ethnographic studies in subjectivity ; 6)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
isbn0-520-24451-6 (cloth : alk. paper)—isbn0-520-24452-4 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Alcoholics—Japan—Tokyo—Family relationships. 2. Alcoholics’ spouses—
Japan—Tokyo. 3. Parents ofnarcotic addicts—Japan—Tokyo. 4. Codependency—
Japan—Tokyo. 5. Social work with women—Japan—Tokyo. 6. Sex role—
Japan—Tokyo. 7. Wives—Japan—Tokyo. I. Title. II. Series.
hv5132.b67 2005
362.29'13'0952135—dc22 2004029705
Manufactured in the United States ofAmerica
14 13 12 11 10 09 08 07 06 05
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
This book is printed on New LeafEcoBook 60, containing 60% post-consumer waste,
processed chlorine free; 30% de-inked recycled fiber, elemental chlorine free; and 10%
FSC-certified virgin fiber, totally chlorine free. EcoBook 60 is acid-free and meets the
minimum requirements ofansi/astmd5634–01 (Permanence ofPaper).
CONTENTS
Preface vii
Acknowledgments xv
Introduction: “Dirty Lukewarm Water” 1
1. Alcoholism and Codependency: New Vocabularies for
Unspeakable Problems 42
2. Motherhood, Nurturance, and “Total Care” in Postwar
National Ideology 67
3. Good Wives: Negotiating Marital Relationships 86
4. A Success Story 115
5. The Inescapable Discourse of Motherhood 137
Conclusion: The Home as a Feminist Dilemma 161
Notes 177
References 201
Index 219

PREFACE
This book follows conversations held in Tokyo among a group ofmiddle-
class women. The women were brought together by their struggles with
family members—husbands who drank too much or children with sub-
stance abuse problems. The severity of their struggles makes the women
unusual, but the issues they confronted in making sense oftheir lives and
creating order out of conflict are of a piece with issues and tensions con-
fronted by “normal” Japanese families. The conversations took place each
week at “the Center,” a clinic oªering both inpatient and outpatient men-
tal health care in central Tokyo. I observed the meetings for one year.1
My presence at the weekly family meetings and the privilege ofhearing
the rather intimate stories collected here are the result ofoverlapping his-
tories. On a personal level, they include my encounters with Japan in col-
lege and before, and my family’s encounters with Japan in the 1960s. In
turn, these experiences were framed, inescapably, by a historical moment
in which Japan became an object of fascination to many Americans. Be-
tween the mid-1960s, when I was born, and the mid-1980s, when I went
to college, Japan emerged from its recovery from the almost total ruin
brought about by its defeat in World War II to become the second-largest
economic power in the world. Living in Northern California in what later
came to be known as Silicon Valley, my parents followed closely Japan’s
remarkable transformation in the late 1960s and 1970s, and Japan’s accom-
plishments were part of our dinner-table conversations.
My father had been involved in the early licensing of American tran-
vii