The Taqua f O Marriage Essential Knowledge For the Modern Believer Omar Zaid, M.D Research Fellow, ISTAC, IIUM. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 1 I propose that male-female dialogue is even more essential to a nation’s success than that of inter-faith discourse. I also propose that the chauvinist accord in Islamic jurisprudence essentially caused the decline of Islam because without the equal treatment of feminine wisdom and intuition in the affairs of marriage and community, civic unity imbued with the grace of true piety cannot be maintained well enough to establish the regency of truth and justice. ... Stereotypes need to be abandoned and replaced by the reality orientation of scientific knowledge in conjunction with Fiqh Jurisprudence of the highest caliber. ... As heterosexuals comprise the overwhelming majority (90%) of human’s committing sexual immorality, there is little merit in an extremist perspective being adopted towards deviant sexuality during any review of public policies related to the conundrum of deviant sexual orientations. ... The Basic Needs and Responsibilities of the Virtuous Spouse are seven in number... but how does one qualify for the blessings of that holy moment when the covenant is consummated... and what is the authentic nature of the covenant of marriage? One cannot truly be a Muslim until he/she desires for their neighbor what they desire for themselves ― and in marriage, your spouse is your nearest neighbor. Marriage has become a kind of 'trench warfare' with spouses dug-in on either side of the gender-line. In-between lies ignorance of the “other” as a kind of no-man's land where insults are traded and frequent devastating assaults are launched. What has happened to the estate of marriage that it has become such a cause of despair for so many these days? If marriage is half the deen of Islam’s revealed requirements and instructions for salvation – i.e., if it is the venue in which Muslims are commanded to implement the comprehensive system of religion as perfected by the prophet – then marriage is a holy institution and should be treated as such. Why then is it profaned by so many? Within this little book are the answers 2 The Taqua of Marriage Essential Knowledge for Modern Believers © Jan 2010, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Final Revision, April 2010 All Rights Reserved by Omar Zaid, M.D. Research Fellow, ISTAC, IIUM, Kula Lumpur, Malaysia, May 2009 [email protected], [email protected] Ph: +60178841809 This edition prepared for e-book, Nov 2010 Hardcopy available from AS Nordeen P.O. Box 42 - Gombak, 53800 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. T: +603-40236003 F: +603-40213675 [email protected] // [email protected] i Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected] Unfortunately today, both the roles of men and women are tragically misunderstood. Even more tragic is the fact that they are misunderstood in obscene favor of the men. The illegitimate consequences of this misunderstanding are many. Shaykh Seraj Hendricks (Wash. D.C., 1998) For those who scratch their heads and sigh then sit and wonder “why” ii Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected] Contents: Introduction & Overview vii Chapter One (1) What You Need to Know Wisdom for Men Woman as Womb The Seven Basic Needs of a Wife Wisdom for Women Adam’s Rib Another Gender The Foolish Woman The Non-Ideal Muslimah The seven Basic Needs of a Husband Chapter Two (42) From Cosmos to Chaos: Order → Deviation → Disorder The Natural Order or Taqua of Creation Deviation: Limitation & Energy The Nature of Normality and Deviation “Be” or not “be” The Word of Al’Mussawwir The Moral Imperative (Virtue) The Purpose of Knowledge Chapter Three (66) Human Sexuality Other Genders: An Introduction to Deviancy A Tradition of Misogyny The Brain as a Sex Organ The Husband’s Call The Wife’s Call Weakness and Strength Concluding Remarks iii Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected] Chapter Four The Purpose of Human Touch 91 Nikah or Zawaj The Touch of Al’Byatt The Concept of Islam’s Deen Islam’s Adab The Tree of Romance Chapter Five Sexualization and Amana (trust) (110) Fear, Trust & Touch As-Sakkinah vs. Misogyny Touch, Sexual Response, and Intimacy Pre-Pubescence Chapter Six Incarnation and the Covenant of Touch (129) Comfort and the ‘Rest of God” Sexual Magic: The Reversal of Touch Sexual Etiquette: Erotic Protocol of Marital Taqua Touch & Discernment Double Standards The Making of Hypocrites Sheikh `Abd al-`Azîz b. `Alî al-Suwayd on Mind Control or Taqlid Appendices I Research on Sexual Di-Morphism and Deviations 137 II Luciferianism: The Religion of Apotheosis 153 by Phillip D. Collins ©, Jan. 10th, 2006 Index 158 About the Author 164 Endnotes: 176 iv Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected] v Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected] Introduction & Overview In the Name of Allah (God), the Most Compassionate and the Most Merciful. All praises belong to Allah alone, the Lord of all the universes. And may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon His messenger Muhammad and on all of his family, descendents and followers. Following a devastating divorce in 1990 I came across a little booklet distributed anonymously entitled The Seven Basic Needs of Your Spouse. After reading it I was shattered by my ignorance and angered at the failure of the many educators who permitted such brainlessness to prosper (I was raised Catholic). I resolved to put those principles into practice which then began two decades of pensive contemplations on the institution of marriage. When I became a Muslim fifteen years later, the transcendent experience crowned my growing bank of scholarship and experience with remarkable clarity of vision. Now I was a man on a mission that carried me through middle age and into early grizzlement as a polygamist with two wives living under the same roof in peace. Life does indeed begin at forty, and at sixty I can honestly say this is the best chapter so far. I have ferreted out from these years of research, connubial failures and recent success, several observations and conclusions I now share with the reader from a new-found academic perch. But on a more serious note, and as most cognitive adepts of the present ‘Age of Harm’ will agree, marriage, civilization as we know it, and genuine monotheism are under significant assaults by sinister forces I have also studied at great length and published elsewhere.1 I therefore pray that this volume will serve to counter the impunity of this libertarian prosecution on both sides of the pond and hopefully ameliorate some of the mischief and mayhem they and their Levantine masters have caused mankind. I begin with a chapter on the basic needs of each spouse. These are archetypal constructs intrinsically demonstrated by each gender as naturally normative by divine design. Such ancient wisdom will be scoffed at by modern humanists but such mockery is inevitable and even prophetic because our educational systems suffer a profound absence of gestalt discernment in light of materialism’s boastful ascent. Hence, the wisdom 1 See p. 164: ‘About the Author’ vi Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected] required for successful marriage is officially untaught, especially in Muslim venues, and will remain so unless I and others write these books. Therefore, and as a Medical Doctor, my priority is to provide a remedy for this endemic heart disease, hoping the reader will be sufficiently encouraged by the first chapter to seek the greater medicine that follows. The Islamic perspective and religious instruction guide men and women towards the peaceful acknowledgement-of and reconciliation-with their Creator, His creation, and all living creatures except those who hate or deny God. Those who follow Islam’s precepts become the “Peacemakers” whom Prophet Isa spoke of on the mount of beatitudes.2 Nevertheless, Islam is far more than a religion. It is, in the final analysis, the perfected socially oriented discipline of conformity to truth whereby men and women are charged to constantly adjust their thoughts and activities towards the goal of maintaining these peaceful relations in consummate harmony with nature according to knowledge, or to war, according to the same knowledge, when injustice inevitably threatens this peace. As such, Islam encompasses all science and never deviates from acknowledging Allah swt as creation’s Source rather than Being, and His prophets and angels as messengers of the divine revelation. With respect to human sexuality and reproduction, Islam regards relations between men and women as holy, a word that means ‘reserved for God’.3 Therefore, sincere and informed Muslims take exceptional care to guard this estate according to divine revelation and the examples of the prophets. Human reproduction is a repetitive miracle for the Muslim, as are all recapitulations of this ontology within the animal kingdoms. At the same time however, it is both a phenomenon of great mystery and commonality. The latter fact causes many to take it for granted and even abuse it in manners that are repugnant to anyone who has retained common sense. Therefore, and bearing these thoughts in mind, the purpose of this little book is to remind, encourage, inform and exhort readers to understand why they 2 ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.’ (Matt. 5:9). The translators have overlooked the contextual allegorical implication of the phrase ‘sons of God’, for what it meant according to traditionl Judaic theology is “servants of God” or sons of consolation, or even True Pharisees. Therefore, ‘Peacemakers’ are those who make peace with their Maker. See: Forgotten Saints, Omar Zaid, AS Nordeen, 2010. 3 holy adj. (holier, holiest) morally and spiritually excellent or perfect, and to be revered; belonging to, devoted to, or empowered by, God; consecrated, sacred. Oxf. Dict. 10th Ed. vii Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected] must knowledgeably forbid evil and enjoin what is good with regard for the awesome events and sexuality that brought each of us into this world. May it so please Allah to grant us this success. In the second part of the book, and before reviewing recent discoveries that shed light on human sexuality and its various expressions, I’ve endeavored to set forth principles that will help the reader assess these disturbing facts with what I pray is greater clarity and wisdom. The concepts of normality, natural, supernatural, supra-natural, miracle, limits (boundaries), life-energy (formative forces), manifest extremes, morality and ignorance are discussed in relation to Islam’s revelation of creation and deviations from divinely pre- determined principles and patterns, as well as man’s perception and acceptance of ‘normality’. After the establishment of these definitions, I introduce scientific developments in the fields of genetics, anatomy, neurology, physiology and psychosocial conduct that inextricably combine to establish human sexuality as an expression of a core identity that is bound to sentience and behavior which often exceeds the orthodox limits of propriety. This recently acquired knowledge gives cause to revisit human sexuality anew and raises many questions that require cogent reassessment before reaching moral and ethical conclusions. Chapters then follow dealing with human development, sexuality, sex education and marriage with a focus on the ‘sense of touch’ and its direct relationship to Iman or Faith, Disbelief and Hypocrisy As you proceed, I entreat your mercy and kindness for my shortcomings, as did Bro. Ibn Khaldun: I confess my inability to penetrate so difficult a subject. I wish that men of scholarly competence and wide knowledge would look at the book with a critical, rather than a complacent eye, and silently correct and overlook the mistakes they come upon. The capital of knowledge that an individual scholar has to offer is small. Admission (of one's shortcomings) saves from censure. Kindness from colleagues is hoped for.4 Most Sincerely, Omar Zaid, M.D. 4 FORWARD to The Introduction and Book One of the World History, Kitab al-Ibar, p. 5. viii Omar Zaid: Taqua of Marriage [email protected]