The Skilled Helper A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping 10th international Edition

484 Pages·2016·8.49 MB·English

by  Gerard Egan

\
,
TheS killed-HeMlopdeerl
StagIe: Stag1e1 : StagIel l:
CurrePnitc ture PreferPriecdt ure TheW ay Forward
What'gso inogn ? Whatd oI n eedo rw ant? How doI g etw hat
In eedo rw ant?
Possible
Story Possibilities
strategies
t t t
1
'q
"$.I'#P
New Change Besfti t
�
©ers©ectlves agenda strateiegs
t t,
" "
c
Va lue Commitment Plan
TheH elpinDgi alogue:
EssentCioamlm unicatSikoinl ls
• Tuninign
• Actilvies tening
• Res©ondiwnigt ehm ©athy
• Checking understanding
• Probing
• Summarizing
• Challenging
• Negotiating
THES KILLED HELPER
A Problem-ManaangdOe pmpeonrtt unity­
DevelopAmpepnrto taocH he lping
TENTH EDITION
GerarEdg an
ProfesEsmoerr itus
LoyolUan iverosfiC thyi cago
- BROOKS/COLE
� ."A
,-. (ENGAGLEe arning"
Aust·r Barlai·zaJ ialp'a Knor·e Maexi·c Soinga·p Sopra'ei UnnitKeidn gd.Uo nmitSetda tes
BROOKS/COLE
�.. .. <i,
,� CENGAGELearning·
TheS kilHleeldp eAr P:r oblem­ © 20142,0 1B0r ooks/CCoelneg,a gLee arning
Managemeanntd
CENGAGEa ndC ENGAGEL EARNINaGr er egistered trademarks
Opportunity-Development
ofC engagLee arniInngc,w. i,t htihne U niteSdt ataensd c ertain
ApproatcohH elping,
othejru risdictions.
TentEhd itioInn,t ernational
Edition ALLR IGHTRSE SERVENDo. p arotf t hiwso rkc overbeydt he
GerarEdg an copyright hebreer ienp rmoadyu tcreadn,s mistttoerdeo,dr u, s ed
ina nyf oromr b ya nym eangsr apheilce,c troonrmi ecc,h anical,
Publisher/ExEedciutotri:v e includbiuntng o tl imitteopd h otocopyriencgo,rd sicnagn,n ing,
jaimPee rkins digititzaipnignW,ge ,bd istribiuntfioornm,a nteitowno rokrs ,
AcquisiEtdiiotnSoser t:Dh o brin information asntdro ertargiese yvsatle mesx,c epatsp ermitted
undeSre cti1o0n7o r1 08o ft he1 97U6n itSetda tCeosp yriAgchtt,
DevelopmeEndtiatlo r:
ora ppliccaobplyer ilgahwot f a nothjeurr isdiwcittihoontu,ht e
ArthPuorm ponio
priowrri ttpeenr missoifto hnep ublisher.
AssistEadnitt Noaro:m Di reyer
EditoArsisails tant:
Fopre rmistsiouo snem aterfiraoltm h itse xotrp roduct,
TravHiosl land
submailtrl e queosntlsi antwe w w.cengage.ceormm/ipssions.
MediEad itEolri:z abMeotmhb Furthpeerr missqiuoensst icoannbs e e -maitloed
[email protected]
BranMda nageLri:Rz h oden
MarkeDte velopmMeannta ger:
InternatEidointailo n:
KarPaa rsons
ISBN-91738:- 1-285-06578-6
ContePnrto jeMcatn ager:
MattheBwa llantyne ISBN-11-O2:8 5-06578-6
ArtD irectCoarr:yG lo rska
CengagLee arniInngt ernatOifofniacle s
ManufactuPrlianngn er:
Asia Australia/ZNeeawl and
judIyn ouye
www.cengageasia.comw ww.cengage.com.au
RighAtcsq uisiStipoencsi alistt:e l(:6 56)4 1102 00 tel(:6 13) 9 68451 11
RoberBtrao yer
Brazil India
DesigPnr,o duction Servicwewsw,. cengage.com.br www.cengage.co.in
andC omposition: tel(:5 51)13 66959 00 tel(:9 11)14 3641 111
PreMediaGlobal
LatiAnm erica UK/Europe/MiEdadslAfter! ica
CoveIrm age©: D anD umitru www.cengage.com.mx www.cengage.co.uk
Comaniciu/iStockphotot el(:5 25)51 50600 00 tel(:4 40) 1 26343 24 24
RepresenitneC da nadbay N elsoEnd ucatiLotnd,.
www.nelson.com
tel(:4 1765)2 9 100/ ( 8006)6 80 671
CengagLee arniinsag l eadipnrgo viodfec ru stomilzeeadr ning
solutiwointsoh f filcoec atiaornosu ntdh eg lobien,c luding
SingapotrheeU, n iteKdi ngdoAmu,s traMleixai,c Bor,a zainld,
japaLno.c atyeou lro coaffli caet w:w w.cengage.com/global
Forp roduicntf ormaatnidof nr eceo mpaniroens ources:
www.cengage.com/international
Visyiotu lro coaflf iwcwew:. cengage.com/global
Visoiutr c orporwaetbes iwtwew:. cengage.com
Printeidnt hUen itSetda toefAs m erica
1 2 3 4 156 1 561 471 31 2
CONTENTS
I
PREFACTEOT HET ENTEHD ITION
IX
A GUIDTEO T HET ENTEHD ITION
Xl1
PARTI .
LAYING GROUNDWORK
THE 1
CHAPTER 1
THE INGRDEEINTSO FS UCCESSFULH ELPING 3
Formaaln dI nformHaell perAs V:e ryB rieHfi stor4y
WhatH elpiInsgA bout5
TheI ngredioefnS tusc cesHseflupli n1g3
EmbracianngdB efrientdhieUn ngc ertaiInnthieersei nnHt e lpin2g9
Movinfgr omS martto W iseM:a nagintgh eS hadoSwi doef H elpin3g3
CHAPTER 2
THE HELPING RELATIOSNHIPA NDT HE V ALUES THATD RIVIE T 36
TheH elpiRnegl ations3h7i p
TheV alueTsh atD rivteh eH elpiRnegl ations4h4i p
Respeacstt heF oundatViaolnu e4 6
Empathayst heP rimaOrryi entaVtailoune 4 8
111
IV Contents
ProactAipvper eciaotfiD oinv ersi5t1y
Self-Responassia bnEi mlpiotwye rment-FoVcaulsuee5d 8
A Biafso rA ctioansa nO utcome-uFsoecVda lue6 5
Shadow-SRiedael itiinte hseH elpiRnegl ations6h7i p
PART1 1
THET HERAPEUDTIIACL OGUCEO:M MUNICATAINODN
RELATIONSHiP-BSUKIILLDLISN G
69
CHAPTER3
EMPATHICP RESENCE:T UNINIGN A NDL ISTENING7 1
TheI mportaonfcC eo mmunicatSikoinli lnHs e lpin7g2
DialogFuoec-usIendt eracwtiitoChnl si ent7s3
VisibTluyn inIgn T:h.e I mportaonfcE em pathPirce senc7e4
ActiLvies tenTihnegF :o undatoifoU nn derstand8i0n g
Listentiont hge K eyI ngredioefnS tusc cesTshfeurla p9y 7
TheS hadoSwi doef L istenFionrgm:os f D istorLtiesdt eni1n00g
CHAPTER 4
EMPATHICR EPSONDING:W ORKINGA TM UTUALU NDERSTANDING1 04
IntroducttoRi eosnp ondiSnkgi lalnsdt heI mportaonfcE em pathic
Relations1h0i5p s
TheT hreDei mensioofnR se spondiSnkgi lPlesr:c eptiveness, Know-How,
andA ssertive1n0e9ss
RespondwiintgEh m pathy1 12
BecomiCnogm peteanntd C onfidiennR te spondwiintgEh m pathy:
PrinciapnldeG su idelin1e2s0
TactifcosrR espondwiintgEh m pathy1 27
A CaseM:a rat,h eC lieanntd C arlotsh,eH elper1 28
TheS hadoSwi doef R espondi1ng31
CHAPTER5
THE ARTO F PROBINAGN DS UMMARIIZNG 135
Nudging1 35
TheA rto fP robin1g3 6
TheA rto fS ummariziPnrgo:v idFioncgu asn dD irecti1o49n
Maraa ndC arloRse visit1e53d
Contents v
TheS hadoSwi doef C ommunicatSikoinl Elsss:e ntBiuatNl o,t
Everythi1n55g
DevelopPirnogf iciiennC coym municatSikoinl l1s56
CHAPTER6
FACIILATTIGCN LIETNS ELF-CAHLLENGEF:R OMN EWP ERSPECTVIES
TO NEBWE HAVIRO'. 158
SelCfh-allenTgheeB: a siCco ncep1t 59
InvitCilnige nttoCs h alletnhgeeB linSdp otastt heR ooto fD ysfunctional
ThinkiEnmgo,t ionEaxlp ressainodnB ,e havio1r71
SpeciSfkiiclf losrH elpiCnlgi enCthsa lleTnhgeei Brl inSdp otasn d
Movet oN ew Perspect1iv75e s
CHAPTER7
HELEPR SELF-CALHLENGE1 91
GuidelifnoerEs f fectIinvvei tattioSo enlsf h-aCllen1ge92
TheC hallenRgeelsa tteodH elpiCnlgi enMtasn agRee luctance
andR esistan1c99e
GuidelifnoerHs e lpiCnlgi enMtosv eB eyonRde luctance
andR esistan2c0e4
TheR oloef N egotiatiinCo hna llen2g0e8
TheS hadoSwi doef H elper2s1 1
PARTI II
THES KILLEHDE LPEPRR OBLEM-MANAGEAMNEDN T
OPPORTUNITY-DEVELAOpPPMREONATCT HO H ELPING
215
TheI ngredioefnS tusc cesTshfeurla pAy R:e view2 16
CHAPTER8
AN
INRTODUCTIOTNO T HE PROBLE-MMANAGEEMNTP ROCESS 219
An Overvioefwt heS tagoefsP robleMma nagemen2t2 2
Flexibiinlt ihtey Uosfte h eP roblem-ManagPermoecnets 2s2 4
StagoefsC hangaen dC lieRneta dinfeosrCs h ange2 27
IntegraEtcilveec tiTchiesO mn:g oinSge arfcho rBe sPtr acti2c2e9
"HowA reW e Doing?"-OngoEivnagl uatoifto hne H elpiPnrgo ces2s3 1
UnderstanadnidDn ega liwnigt thh eS hadoSwi doef H elpiMnogd els2 32
VI Contents
CHAPTER 9
STAGEI -A:HE LP CLIENST TELLT HEIRS TORIES 236
A BrieIfn troducttoSi toang Ie 237
TaskI -AH:e lpC lienTteslT lh eiSrt ori2es3 9
GuidelifnoerHse lpiCnlgi enTteslT lh eiSrt ori2es4 1
HelpC lienMtosv ei ntAoc tioRni ghftr omt heB eginni2n5g 5
CHAPTER 10
STAGEI :T ASKI -BT:H E REASLT ORY
TASKI -CT: HE R IGHTS TORY 259
Task I-B: TShteo rRy2e 6a0l
Maraa ndC arloisnI -B2 61
HelpC lienCthsa lleTnhgeem seltvoeP sa rticiapsFa utlel aysP ossible
int heH elpiPnrgo ces2s6 2
ImmediaDceya:l iwnigt Ihs suienst heH elpiRnegl ationIsthsiep2l f6 6
TheW ideUrs e Io-fB R:i sitnogt heC hallen2g6e9
TaskI -CT:h eR ighStt ory2 70
HelpC li�nWtosr ko nI ssuTehsa tW ilAld dV aluteo T heiLri ves2 70
PrincifpolrHe esl piCnlgi enWtosr ko nI ssuTehsa tMa kea
Differe2nc7e1
TheW ideUrs eo fI -CM:a kintgh e RiCghhoti ce2s7 9
CHAPTER 1 1
STAGE1 1D:E SGINNIGP ROBELM-M ANAGINGG OALS
TASKI- IA:P OSSIBLIIETS IFOR AB ETTER FUTURE 282
An IntroducttoSi toang IeI 283
TheR oloef H opei nT herap2y 86
TaskI I-HAe:l pC lienDtiss covPeors sibifloirat Bieetst Feurt ur2e 88
SkilflosrI dentifPyoisnsgi bifloirat Bieest tFeurt ur2e 89
CaseFse aturPionsgs ibifloirat Bieest tFeurt ur2e 99
CHAPTER 1 2
STAGE1 1T:A SKI I-BG:O AL,SO UTOCMES,I MPACT
TASKI I-:CC OMMITMENT 303
TheP oweorf G oalS ettin3g0 4
TaskI I-GBo:a lsO,u tcomeIsm,p acHte:l pC lienMtosv ef rom
PossibitloiC thioeisc e3s0 6
FlexiGbulied eliinnHe esl piCnlgi enStestG oalf orT hemselv3e0s8
Contentsv u
WhatK indo fC hangDeo ClienNtese da ndH ow Much? 320
EmergiGnoga ls3 26
Task1- 1C : HeCllpi enCtosm miTth emselves-"AWmh aIt
WillitnogP ayf orWh atI W ant?"3 27
HelpC lienCtosm miTth emseltvoea s B ettFeurt ur3e 28
GreaEtx pectast:Ei nocouraCglei eSnetl f-aEcfyf-i"cCIa n,IW ill"3 33
�
Stag1e1a ndA cti<;m 337
TheS hadow SoifGd oe alS ettin3g3 9
CHAPTER 13
STAGEI llP:LA NNING THE WAY FORWARD 342
TheT hreTea skosf S tagIeI I3 43
Maraa ndC arlos Revisited: M3a4r4a 's Goals
TaskI ll-HAe:l pC lients DeSvterlaotpef goirAe csc omplishing
TheiGro als3 46
PrincifpolrHe esl piCnlgi enDtiss covVeira blSet ratefgoire s
AccomplisGhoianlgs 3 46
TaskI II-HBe:l pC lienCthso osBee st-SFtirta teg3i5e2s
Bud'Asm azinOgd ysse3y5 2
CritefroirCa h oosiGnoga l-AccomplSitsrhaitnegg 3i5e3s
A Balance-MSehteheotfd o rC hoosiSntgr ateg3i5e7s
HelpC lienLtisn kB est-SFtirta tetgoiA ecst ion3 58
TheS hadoSwi doef S electSitnrga teg3i5e9s
TaskI 11-HCe:l pC lienFtosr mulaVtiea blPel ans3 61
ShapitnhgeP lanT:w o Cases3 64
PrincifpolrHe usm anizitnhgeM echaniocfsC onstrucCthiavneg e3 66
Ready-MaAdcet ioPnr ogram3s7 0
CHAPTER 14
IMPLEMENTATOIN: MAKINGI TA LL HAPPEN 373
IntroducttoIi mopnl ementa3ti7o4n
MaraM ovesi ntAoc tion3 75
HelpC lients fMroovmPe l annitnoAg c tioPnr:i nciopflE efsf ective
Implementat3i7o7n
SociSaulp poarntd t heI mportaonfcC eh allen3g8e6
TheS hadoSwi doef I mplementCihnagn ge3 91
ResiliePnecoep:l Aeb'isl ittoHy o ld ThemsTeolgveetsh Beoru,n cBea ck,
andG row 396
Vlll Contents
GettiAnlgo nWgi thouat H elpeAr S:t riking 4C0a1s e
ChoosiNnogt t oC hange4 02
RevisitthieKn egy I ngredioefnS tusc cesTshfeurla p4y0 3
REFERENC40E5S
NAMEI NDE4X5 0
SUBJEICNTD E4X5 6