The Seven Deadly Profile Photo Sins

16 Pages·2016·0.86 MB·English

by  Fiore Michael.

IntroductioN
Online Allure Formula gives you all the tools, tips, and tricks you need to create a digital “man magnet”
that attracts great guys who will crawl through broken glass to give you exactly what you’re looking for in a
relationship. Whether it’s a serious thing or a casual fling, I’ll show you how to make it happen.
The internet is a visual medium, and men are visual creatures, so it should come as no surprise that I dedicated
an entire section of Online Allure Formula to creating the perfect profile photos.
Your photo is the very first thing that guys will see when they stumble across your profile on any dating site, and
it’s absolutely critical that your pic sends the right message. Not just to draw in great guys like bees to honey, but
to make sure that you’re not a target for creeps, jerks, players, or douchebags. (Unless you’re into creepy player
jerk douchebags, in which case you can just post a photo of your tits and call it a day.)
In the photo section of Online Allure Formula, I’ll teach you exactly what kinds of photos to put on your online
dating profile - the kinds of poses men respond to; how to get the right responses; even detailed tricks like what
to wear, what you should be doing, the exact blueprint for the perfect profile photos.
But that’s way more training than I could fit into a single downloadable report like this, and it’s getting the cart
ahead of the horse.
In this report, you’ll get the first part of the actual “Perfect Profile Pics” training lesson taken directly from the
Online Allure Formula: The Seven Photo Mistakes that will Kill Your Online Dating Profile.
These mistakes will make you invisible to great guys, and even scare them away.
Worse, they’ll make you very visible to the wrong kind of guys, and your inbox will be full of penis photos,
rambling messages from anonymous stalkers, and copy-pasted “lines” from players that are just looking to use
you and lead you on.
And some of these photo mistakes might seem funny, some might seem like common knowledge, but they’re all
based on things that I’ve actually seen out in the world of online dating – when I was single and dated women
online a few years ago, and while doing research for Online Allure Formula.
Best,
Michael Fiore
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 1
1: Ms. Invisible and The Toxic Butterfly
When you don’t have a photo of yourself, there’s only one thing that guys think:
You must have something terrible to hide.
The first mistake is incredibly common: not having a photo at all. Or even worse, having a photo of a cat, or a waterfall, or
a peace sign, or a sunset, or the ever-popular butterfly.
As I’ve already mentioned, men are incredibly visual creatures. It’s a simple fact of nature. As men, the first thing that
attracts us to a woman is always going to be something about the way she looks. Her smile, her eyes, her hair, her legs, her
lips...
And it’s not just the superficial guys. It’s all the guys. It’s hard-wired into every man’s
anatomy. Even if a guy is completely in love with your personality – the first thing that ever
attracted him was a part of your body.
If you don’t have any kind of photo on your profile, men immediately assume that you
are ashamed of how you look, or that you have something terrible to hide. We’re going
to assume that you’re not someone that we want to spend our time chasing after, or even
reading about. Especially not when your “empty” profile photo is surrounded by a half
dozen other photos of women who weren’t afraid to show themselves.
If you don’t have a photo, 99.9% of guys – even really good guys, the kind of guys you want Now that is one foxy lady.
to talk to – are going to ignore your profile, no matter what you actually say in your profile.
No matter how witty your words are, no matter how great you sound on paper. If there’s no photo of you, he’s going to
move on to the next profile. You really will be “invisible” to men.
Using a “blurred-out” photo is just as bad. If you saw a photo of guy that was blurred out, what would you think? What
would go through your mind if he seemed embarrassed to be looking to meet a woman online? It communicates to
everyone that you’re ashamed to some degree about putting yourself out there.
You should never be ashamed of looking for a relationship on the internet. Some of the early exercises in Online Allure
will reinforce that fact, and you’ll feel very good about your prospects of meeting really great guys this way.
Now, the butterfly photo is a weird little trend that I found while doing research on
Craigslist1, because profile photos don’t show up when people browse or search the personals
section of the site. Instead, it shows the title of the post, with a little symbol next to it if there’s
a photo.
So as a bait-and-switch, many women on Craigslist will use “filler” photos. Then, when a guy
does a search for “profiles with photos only”, the listing will still show up. We’ll click the link,
expecting to see your beautiful face... and we’ll get the butterfly or the waterfall or the sunset
instead.
Imaging opening his
profile and seeing all And it pisses us off every time. It’s not cute or funny, it just feels like we’ve been tricked and
the characters from his
our time has been wasted, and we’ll leave without reading a word of your profile.
favorite video games...
sexy, right?
1 Craigslist, of course, is not the best place to meet people. We’ll go into much more detail about where to meet people – and
where not to meet people – in the Online Allure Formula program
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 2
2: The Silver Medal
Don’t use a profile picture of you with your much hotter friend.
I know, I know, beauty is completely subjective. But when it comes to profile pictures… it’s not.
Take a look at the example image below. On the left is our hypothetical online dater, and she’s just uploaded this as her
profile picture. She’s very cute. Nice smile, in great shape, and girl-next-door pretty. You know, the kind of woman that
any normal guy would really excited to meet and take on a date.
And then there’s her friend on the right. The one with the makeup and the pneumatic anatomy.
If this was a bar or a party or a coffee shop, you could win any man over with your witty banter or a well-timed smile. He
could fall head over heels for your sultry voice or your contagious laugh…
You’re going to lose this one every time…
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 3
But your friend looks like a porn star. And this is a dating site. And it’s on the internet. And it’s filled with a bunch of
single guys just feverishly clicking through picture after picture of single women.
The sad truth is that in this environment, nobody is going to look good next to her.
If you have a picture of yourself smiling and laughing, like the readhead down below, that’s great, but you don’t need to
have your other friends in that photo. Crop them out whenever possible. At the very least, make sure it’s clear that the
photo is about you.
Even if you and your friends are all pretty evenly matched in the “hotness” department, which is hard for anyone to really
judge, err on the side of not having photos of you with other women in general. I can’t really explain it, but as a guy, it just
causes a bad composition.
A lot of guys will look at a profile photo and say, “oh, she’s cute, but man, her friend is really, really, really cute.” Nobody
looks good that way.
To quote Rodney Dangerfield: “If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.”2
This is like that, but the opposite. No matter how cute, attractive, sexy you are, if you’re standing next to somebody who
looks like she just walked out of a Victoria’s Secret catalog, you are going to suffer in comparison.
“When in doubt, crop them out.”
2 If you haven’t seen the movie Back to School, you really should.
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 4
3: The Instant Family
Keep your kids out of your dating profile pics.
Now, I know I’m going to get some angry people writhing about that, because your kids are lovely. They are cute. They are
your life. They are the focus of your day. They take up so much of your time. You are so dedicated to them.
I understand that. I love kids. But, if every profile photo that you have on your online dating profile has your kids in it, it
makes guys think that you are looking for a co-parent, not a date, a boyfriend, or a naked gymnastics partner.
Even guys who love kids – guys who are more than happy to date a woman who has kids and to be a part of their life – get
pushed away by photos about kids.
Remember, your online dating profile is like a movie trailer of what it’s like to actually date you. If the trailer is nothing
but you and your kids, that immediately makes a guy think that the “feature film” is going to be “daddyhood”.
There’s another important reason not to post photos of your children on your dating profile. It’s a dating website, after
all, and thousands of random men are going to see your profile pictures. And odds are, there are going to be at least
a few truly bad guys that stop by to have a look. Purely from a safety standpoint, you don’t want to give up too much
information about your family.
Of course this isn’t to say that you should hide the fact that you have children – that’s also going to cause problems and
keep you from connecting with the right guys. In Online Allure Formula, we’ll talk about when and where to include your
children in your profile.
Your kids are adorable… but they don’t belong on a dating site.
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 5
4: The Easy Target
Don’t post sexy or revealing photos.
A lot of women fall into this trap over and over again, but skin is a douchebag magnet. Even a little bit of skin, because
skin inevitably makes guys think of sex. The nicest guys on earth turn into cavemen when they see skin on the internet.
And it’s not just skin. That “sexy” pose that you thought was kind of cute and funny does crazy things to a man’s mind. It
flips a switch in our brain, and we can’t help but see it as totally serious. We fall head-first into the fantasy that you’re one
of those incredibly rare women who’s just looking for casual sex with total strangers. In our stupid lizard brains, we just
hit the jackpot.
So you’ve got to save us from ourselves. Your profile photos can’t communicate any sexual undertones, because even a
really great guy will turn into a drooling idiot. Normally, he’d send a polite, respectful message and really be interested in
getting to know you as a person.
Now take that same guy and show him a picture of you wearing a crop top and a sultry pout, and he’ll go from the
eloquent prince charming to “damn girl, u fine. wanna hook up?”
Sexy photos will get you a lot of attention, but it won’t be from the guys you want. And even when it does get attention
from the guys you want, it’ll set the wrong tone for any interaction you have. Just, you know, prepare yourself for an inbox
full of penises. A tsunami of them.
The example below shows three different approaches. The photo on the left isn’t sexual, but it’s attractive. She doesn’t seem
like she’s hiding anything, and she’s projecting confidence and leaving a lot to the imagination. This photo says, “I’m a
person. I’m somebody that you should take seriously. Somebody you could even have a relationship with.”
The middle photo is showing way too much skin. And despite the “sexy” pose, she’s coming across as insecure. Now, the
photo on the the right is an example of a “slutty” photo that doesn’t show any skin at all. The bedroom eyes, the finger
sucking, the lip gloss. These photos say something much simpler to every man that sees them: “I’m a toy.”
This isn’t fair. It’s not the way it should be. Rather than trying to get to know you and to appreciate your personality, we’re
suddenly trying to get into your pants and appreciate you physically.
Being proud of your body is awesome. But sexy photos don’t belong anywhere near your public profile. They just draw too
many jerks. And of course it’s always nice to leave some things to the imagination.
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 6
5: The Wet Blanket
If you don’t want to be here… leave
Over 100,000 women receive our Digital Romance newsletter every week, and most of them are happy to help us study
relationships and dating. So when I was doing my research, I asked them to send in examples of their profile pictures.
And quite a few of them sent in the “I don’t want to be here” photo. The photo with the Charlie Brown half-smile. The
photo with the bad lighting or the vacant stare. The photo that doesn’t say “I’m a confident, beautiful woman whom you
should get to know”. The photo that says “well, I guess this is me. Take it or leave it.”
Your photos in your online dating profile need to show the best version of you, and you have to look enthusiastic and
excited about online dating. If you’re only there as a last resort, guys will pick up on that. Good guys will pass you by for
someone who looks like she’s enjoying life, and bad guys will use your lack of options to take advantage of you.
As a woman, would you want to get to know any of these people? Take it from a guy: we don’t want to either…
In the examples here, there are two pictures of the
same cute young brunette. Same girl, same outfit, same
camera angle. The only difference is her pose and facial
expression, but these could be two entirely different
people.
The left photo says: “I really don’t want to be here and
have no self confidence.”
The photo on the right shows her smiling, looking up
to the right (we’ll talk about the power of that pose later
in the Online Allure program). This photo says: “I’m
awesome and fun, and you’d be lucky to date me.”
Pretty dramatic difference.
As a guy, the left photo makes me want to run the other way. Or if I was a sex shopper or a douchebag, the left photo
shows me a woman that I can easily manipulate.
The photo on the right makes me think that this woman has it together. She’s happy, she’s going places, she’s on a mission,
and I’d be lucky to get a date with her.
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 7
6: The Selfie
#
The loneliest camera angle in the world.
The cell phone selfie was invented by teenage girls with gravity-defying tits. And teenage girls with gravity-defying tits
should be the only ones to actually put these photos out there.
Actually, let me change that. Even teenage girls shouldn’t be putting these photos
out there. Because as I mentioned in “The Easy Target”, these deep cleavage
shots that only focus on sexual attributes immediately cause guys to go in that
direction mentally.
It’s alright to have one selfie in your profile if it’s tasteful and done well. But if
you’re over 30, it starts to get a bit embarrassing – like you’re not quite ready to
embrace the fact that you’re a grown woman.
Even more important is what you don’t see in the selfie.
In Online Allure Formula, I interview Jane, an online dating expert who’s gone
on over 100 dates with great guys that she met online.
And Jane brings up an excellent point during our interview:
“If you have to take your own profile shots, it makes it seem like you don’t have
any friends, or that you’re somehow ashamed of dating online.”
If all of your photos are you in your bathroom mirror, or if your arms are
constantly out at the edge of the frame, it’s saying a lot about your personality
and your approach to online dating… and none of it’s good.
Selfies tell guys that you only think you look good in the bathroom mirror, or
that you’re not confident enough to tell your friends that you’re dating online, or
that you’re just insecure and not owning the process of online dating.
Of course a few cell phone shots don’t mean that those things are true about you,
but that’s certainly the vibe that your selfies are giving off.
After a certain age, it just starts to
And, just like so many of the other deadly photo sins, the cell phone selfie is
look silly.
going to push away the great, mature men that you’re looking for, and it’s going
to attract the players and the manipulators who pick up on the insecurities and
vulnerabilities they can see in your profile pic.
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 8
7: The Time Capsule
Don’t post photos that are deceptively old.
This one’s personal, because I’ve actually had it happen to me. Back when I was dating online, I met a girl. She looked very
attractive in her photos, and after some messaging back and forth, we really hit it off. When we finally met up for a date, I
was blown away… her profile photos had to have been at least seven years old, and she’d really changed in the meantime.
I didn’t leave because I wasn’t attracted to her, she still “had it”. I left because I felt deceived. I felt like I’d fallen victim to
the old bait-and-switch.
Women certainly aren’t the only ones guilty of this – quite a few women have written in to say that they’ve agreed to meet
men online, only to find that the guys were using photos that were fifteen years old.
Using out of date photos never ends well. Even if you actually look better now than you did before. It’s dishonest, and it’s a
horrible way to start off a potential relationship.
If a photo is older than six months, replace it. It’s probably something you can’t use in your online dating profile. There
are some exceptions that we’ll discuss in the main Online Allure program (like an “accomplishment” photo) but anything
older than six months should be very clearly marked with the month and year it was taken.
Time takes its toll, even when you age as well as Clint Eastwood.
OnlineAllure.com/NOW 9