The Psychology of Courage: An Adlerian Handbook for Healthy Social Living

296 Pages·2009·2.88 MB·English

by  Julia Yang

JUL IA YANG, ALAN MILLIREN, AND MARK BL AGEN
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF
C O U R A G E
An Adlerian
Handbook
for Healthy
Social Living
New York London
On the Cover
The water lily is universally known as a symbol for courage, resilience, and tenacity. The pure and
simple blossom, with a will of its own, unfolds in the mystic early morning. Taking root in muddy
water, its stem is straight, easy to bend but difficult to break. The sacred meaning of the water lily
does not stop in its beauty and humble upbringing. All parts of water lily are edible, giving back to
life. Petals, roots, and seeds of the water lily are believed to have a soothing and cleansing effect
when used either for cooking or medicine. Spiritually, the water lily represents cosmic harmony.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Yang, Julia.
The psychology of courage : an adlerian handbook for healthy social living
/ Julia Yang, Alan P. Milliren, Mark T. Blagen.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-415-96519-4 (hardcover : alk. paper)
1. Courage. I. Milliren, Alan P. II. Blagen, Mark T. III. Title.
BF575.C8Y36 2009
150.19’53--dc22 2009001382
Visit the Taylor & Francis Web site at
http://www.taylorandfrancis.com
and the Routledge Web site at
http://www.routledgementalhealth.com
Contents
List of Figures ix
List of Tables xi
List of Socratic Dialogue Boxes xiii
Foreword x v
Preface xvii
Acknowledgments x xiii
Part I Foundation
1 What Is Courage? 3
The Psychology of Courage 4
InFEARority 5
Inferiority 6
Compensation 8
Corequisites of Courage 1 0
Courage as a Spiritual Concept 1 2
Courage Defined 1 4
Closing Thoughts 14
2 Community Feeling and Mental Health 1 7
What Is Social Interest? 1 7
Cooperation 1 9
Contribution 2 0
A Measure of Mental Health 2 1
The Horizontal Axis 2 2
The Vertical Axis 2 3
v
vi • Contents
The Courage of Community Feeling 2 5
Closing Thoughts 2 6
3 Tasks of Life 2 7
Work, Love, and Social Relations: The Basic Tasks 27
Being and Belonging: The Existential Tasks 2 8
The Normative Ideal 2 9
The Evasion of Life Tasks 3 1
Closing Thoughts 33
Part II Th e Courage of Social Living
4 The Courage to Work 3 7
What Is Work? 3 7
Individual Inferiority 3 9
Collective Inferiority 4 1
New Fear: Protean Career 4 2
Career Construction in Style 4 4
The Encouraged Worker 4 6
Work Is Sacred 4 8
Closing Thoughts 5 1
5 The Courage to Love 5 3
What Is Love? 53
The Use and Misuses of Sex 5 4
The Myth of Romance 5 5
Problems of Love and Marriage 5 7
Same-Gender and Transgender Love 5 9
Training for the Love Task 6 2
The Perfect Love: Agape 6 4
Closing Thoughts 6 5
6 The Courage for Friendship and Family 6 7
Understanding Friendship 6 7
Making Friends 69
Birth Order and Family Constellation 7 0
The Use of Children’s Goal-Seeking Behaviors 7 3
Lifestyle Goal Seeking for Teens and Adults 7 7
Thoughts on Parenting 7 8
Closing Thoughts 8 1
7 The Courage to Belong 8 3
Problems of Belonging 83
The Courage of Social Equality 8 6
Harmony: The Human Best and the Ideal Society 89
Contents • vii
Community Feeling at Work: The Courage of Recovery 9 2
Closing Thoughts 9 4
8 The Courage to Be 9 5
The “No” Attitudes 9 5
CHARACTERistics with the “Yes” Attitude 9 8
The Use of Emotions 101
The Use of the Neurotic Symptoms 104
Living in Harmony with Oneself 107
Affirmation and Ambivalence 109
Closing Thoughts 111
9 The Courage to Spiritual Well-Being 113
Spirituality as a Life Task 113
Striving: The Courage to Overcome 115
Pain and Suffering 116
The Courage to Heal 118
Courage and the Allied Spiritual Attitudes 121
The Courage to Agape Love 123
Closing Thoughts 125
Part III Implications
10 The Art of Facilitating Courage 129
The Courage of the Facilitator 129
Socratic Questioning 130
The Use of Encouragement 131
Facilitating Processes 134
Relationship 135
Psychological Investigation 135
Psychological Disclosure 136
Reorientation 137
About the Tools for Facilitating Courage 138
Tool #1: A Conversation Guide: Socratic Questioning 139
Tool #2: Attitude Modification 142
Tool #3: Birth Order 143
Tool #4: Change in Harmony 145
Tool #5: CHARACTERistics: Directed Reflection 147
Tool #6: Constructive Ambivalence 149
Tool #7: Courage Assessment 152
Tool #8: Consultation With Parents and Teachers 154
Tool #9: E-5 Group Session Guide 156
Tool #10: En-COURAGE-ment 163
Tool #11: Family Constellation in the Workplace 165
viii • Contents
Tool #12: Goal Disclosure: The “Could It Be’s” 166
Tool #13: Home Page 169
Tool #14: Hope Is a Choice 173
Tool #15: In Store: Eleven Seven 175
Tool #16: Lifestyle Interview: Variations 180
Tool #17: Lost or Stuck? 183
Tool #18: Most Memorable Moment 187
Tool #19: Recollecting Early Memories 189
Tool #20: Trust Only the Movement 192
Tool #21: Ups, Downs, and Side by Sides: Relationships
of Equals 194
Tool #22: Walk the Line 196
Appendix 199
Epilogue 215
Notes 217
References 2 37
The Authors 2 47
Author Index 249
Subject Index 253
List of Figures
1.1 The Individual Psychology model of courage. 5
1.2 Felt minus to perceived plus. 7
2.1 Social interest as a measure of mental health. 2 1
3.1 Life task map. 30
6.1 Rachel’s family constellation. 7 2
6.2 Active, passive, socially useless, and socially useful goals and
behaviors. 7 8
7.1 Training for social equality. 8 7
8.1 Measuring social interest by cooperation and contribution. 100
8.2 Disjunctive emotions, rejection movement. 103
8.3 Conjunctive emotions, “move forward” words, encouraging
movement. 103
9.1 The processes of healing. 120
10.1 Life movement and attitudes. 133
10.2 Components of facilitating change. 135
10.3 Balancing eight directions of change. 146
10.4 Affirmation coupon. 161
10.5 Nontangible gift certificate. 162
10.6 “Home” page. 171
10.7 Motivation scale. 194
10.8 Circle of courage. 197
ix