The Possibility Of Resurrection And Other Essays In Christian Apologetics

64 Pages·1997·4.81 MB·English

by  Peter van Inwagen

The Possibility of
Resurrection
and Other Essays in
Christian Apologetics
Peter van Inwagen
=
WestviewPress
ADivisionofHarperCollinsPublishers
L· To mystepchildren
Noel, Eamon, and Claire Lawless
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Copyright©1998byWestviewPress,ADivisionofHarperCollinsPublishers,Inc.
Publishedin 1998intheUnitedStatesofAmerica byWestviewPress, 5500CentralAvenue,
Boulder, Colorado 80301-2877, and in the United Kingdom by Westview Press, 12 Hid's
CopseRoad,CumnorHill,Oxford0X29J]
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Vanlnwagen,Peter.
ThepossibilityofresurrectionandotheressaysinChristian
apologetics/PeterVanlnwagen.
p. cm.
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
ISBN0-8133-2731-8(cloth)
1.Apologetics. 2.Philosophicaltheology. I.Title.
BTll05.V36 1998
239-dc21 97-17602
CIP
ThepaperusedinthispublicationmeetstherequirementsoftheAmericanNationalStandard
forPermanenceofPaperforPrintedLibraryMaterialsZ39.48-1984.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
Contents
Preface
IX
I !>"'~ 1 QuamDilecta 1
2 "ItIsWrong, Everywhere,Always,
,-
andforAnyone, to BelieveAnything
~ ..;.
uponInsufficientEvidence" 29
3 ThePossibilityofResurrection 45
r' 4 DualismandMaterialism:AthensandJerusalem? 53
5 Probabilityand Evil 69
f-
6 Of"OfMiracles" 89
7 AreviewofWithoutProoforEvidence:
EssaysofO.K.Bouwsma, editedandwithan
introduction by].1. Craftand RonaldE. Hustwit 105
8 AreviewofUniverses, byJohn Leslie 111
Index 117
.
;
~
:
vii
Preface
Severalyearsago, Ipublishedsomeofmyessays on philosophicaltheology
ina bookcalled God, Knowledge, andMystery. Inafootnote inthat book,
I mentioned several essays on religious topics that, for one reason or an
other, Ihad not included. Spencer Carr, who was at that time the editorial
directoratWestviewPress,waskindenoughtosuggestthattheessaysmen
tioned in thatfootnote might themselves make a book-provided an origi
nalessaywereaddedtotheirnumber.
Thisisthat book.Theessay "Of'OfMiracles'" appearshereforthefirst
time. The essay "Probability and Evil" is an extensive revision of parts of
an essay called "Reflections on the Essays of Draper, Gale, and Russell,"
which appeared in Daniel Howard-Snyder, ed., The Evidential Argument
from Evil (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1996), pp. 219-243.
Someinformationand afewcommentsonthe otheressaysfollow.
"QuamDilecta" appearedinThomasV.Morris,ed., GodandthePhiloso
phers (NewYork: OxfordUniversityPress, 1994),pp. 31-60.This bookisa
collection of "personal statements" byvarious Christian philosophers. Iam
often asked whatthe titleofthe essaymeans. 'Quamdilecta'-'howlovely';
in The Book ofCommon Prayer 'how amiable'-are the first two words of
SaintJerome'svulgatetranslationofPsalm84.Itis·asortofnicknameforthe
psalm: In liturgical churches, a psalm is often designated bythe first two or
three words ofJerome's translation. Icouldnotthink ofan appropriate title
for the essay, and because Ihad used a quotation from Psalm 84 as an epi
graph,Iput "QuamDilecta" atthe headofthemanuscripttill Icouldthink
ofsomethingelse.Eventually, "QuamDilecta" becamethetitle.
'''ItIsWrong, Everywhere,Always, andfor Anyone, to BelieveAnything
upon Insufficient Evidence'" appeared inJeffJordan and Daniel Howard
Snyder, eds., Faith, Freedom, and Rationality (Lanham, Md.: Rowman &
Littlefield, 1996), pp. 137-153. (Faith, Freedom, and Rationality is a
festschrift for William Rowe. The essay was originally written for the
ChapelHillPhilosophy Colloquium, where itwas presentedinthe autumn
of1994.)
"The Possibility ofResurrection" appeared in the InternationalJournal
for Philosophy ofReligion9 (1978): 114-121.Ithas beenreprintedinPaul
Edwards, ed., Immortality (New York: Macmillan, 1992) and in Louis P.
Pojman, ed., Philosophy ofReligion: An Anthology (2nd ed.) (Belmont,
IX
x Preface
Calif.: Wadsworth, 1993). This is the only essay in this book that was not
written from a Christian perspective. Nevertheless, Icontinue to accept its
Chapter One
essential point. I have, however, added a postscript that contains some
qualificationsI nowthinkare important.
"Dualism and Materialism: Athens and Jerusalem?" appeared in Faith
and Philosophy 12 (1995): 475-488. This essay was written for a confer
ence on Christianity and the philosophy ofmind thatwas held at the Uni Quam Dilecta
versityofNotre Dame in the autumnof1995.
The remaining two "essays" are actually book reviews. I include them
because in each ofthem I make what I believe are substantive points that
are interestingindependentlyofthe contentofthe books underreview. The
review of O. K. Bouwsma's Without Proofor Evidence appeared in Faith
and Philosophy 4 (1987): 103-108. The review ofJohn Leslie's Universes
appeared in FaithandPhilosophy 10 (1993): 439-443. Yea, the sparrow hath found heran house, and the swallow a nest,
I thanktheeditorsand publishersofthe booksand journalsinwhichthe where she may lay her young; even thy altars, 0 Lord ofHosts, my
essays were originallypublishedfor permissiontoreprintthem. . KingandmyGod.
Theessaysare,asthesubtitleofthe booksays,essaysinChristianapolo -Ps.84:3
getics. They are defenses ofone aspectoranotherofChristian beliefinthe
face ofintellectualattack. This, atany rate, is true, in the moststraightfor
wardsensepossible,ofChapters1,2,3,5,and6. Chapter4 ("Dualismand
Materialism: Athens and Jerusalem?") and the two reviews are apologetic
I
in amore indirectway: They are not responses to anyone's attackonsome
Christian belief, but-or so I should like to think-they make points that Three of my grandparents were unchurched Protestants, and one (my fa
couldincertaincontextsbe usefulindefending Christianbelief. ther's mother) a devout Roman Catholic. As a consequence, my mother
The essays are very much the work ofa philosopher. Anyone who is fa was,andis,notmuchofachurchgoer,andmyfatherwasalapsedCatholic
miliar with the current philosophicalscenewill seeeasily enoughthat they with pretty strong feelings on the subject-an enthusiastic reader of Paul
employ intellectual tools whose use comes naturally to anyone who has Blanshard and similar authors. When I was seven, my parents briefly sent
been (asIhave been)trained in "analytical" philosophyandwho hasspent me to a Presbyterian Sunday school. Our lessons were from a little text
most of his adult life using them (and not the tools ofthe theologian, the bookwith the excellenttitle The KingNobody Wanted, which Istill occa
historian, or the scientist) in his attempts to get clear about things. Never sionally come across in secondhand bookshops. I recall learning that we
theless, the essays are mostly not very technical. The reader who has not Christians believedthatJesuswasthe Messiahand thattheJews didnot. (I
beenformally trainedinphilosophywillprobablynotbeabletomakevery rememberwishing thatIcouldhavea chanceto tell theJewsaboutJesus; I
much of"ProbabilityandEvil" andwillfind "Of'OfMiracles'" onlymar wassurethattheywould bereasonableabout his messianicstatus ifsome
ginally less difficult. The remaining essays can be read by those without onewereto informthem ofit.)
specialphilosophicaltraining. Imustalso haveabsorbedthe idea thatJesuswas theSonofGod, for, af
ter my family had joined a Unitarian congregation, my father sternly in
Petervan Inwagen formed me (presumably in response to some casual theological remark of
mine) that we Unitarians did not believe that Jesus was the Son of God.
Well, I was shocked. I had thought that everyone believed that (except, of
course,theJews, butitwasprettyclearthatUnitariansweren'tJews). Ihave
amemoryofwalking througha hallwayatmyschool-1thinkwe'vegotto
about agethirteen-andsayingdefiantlyto myself, "Ican believethatJesus
is the Son ofGod ifIwant to." I must have been wanting in what Roman
1
2 QuamDilecta Quam Dilecta 3
Catholic theologians used to call heroic faith, however, for I was soon When Iwas a graduate student, I began to read the apologetic works of
enoughagood littleUnitarianhoy. IlearnedinSundayschoolthatthe feed C.S. Lewis.Therewere (underGod) two reasonsfor this. First,Ihadloved
ing ofthe multitudes was.really a miracle ofsharing and how much more his "spacetrilogy," andIwaslookingfor"more Lewis." Secondly, Irecog
miraculous that was than a magical multiplication of loaves and fishes nized him as a master of expository prose and thought-rightly-that I
would havebeenifithadoccurred,whichofcourseithadn't. (Twentyyears couldlearnagreatdealfrom himabouttheartofexpressingalineofargu
later, in the early 1970s,Peter Geachtold me howshocked he had recently mentin English. Like manyotherpeople, Ifirst discovered what Christian
beento hearthesamestoryfrom aRoman Catholicpriest. Iwasable totell itywasfrom readingLewis. Thediscoverywaspurelyexternal, amatterof
himthattheUnitad,mswereatleasttwentyyearsaheadofRome.) beingable to use the rightwords when talking about "Christianity," butit
My attachmentto Unitarianism (and its three pillars: the Fatherhood of was nosmallgain to have a correctexternal understanding ofChristianity.
God, the Brotherhood ofMan, and the Neighborhood ofBoston) did not IsawthatthepictureIhad beengivenofChristianity bymyUnitarianSun
survivemygoingawaytocollege.Thatsortofthingis,ofcourse,afamiliar dayschoolteachersandvariousteachersofphilosophy (nogreatdifference
storyinevery denomination, butit's an easierpassagefor Unitarians, since there) was self-serving, frivolous, and wildly inaccurate. I saw that Chris
it does not involve giving up any beliefs. My wife, who is one ofmy most tianity was a serious thing and intellectually at a very high level. (I was
useful critics, tells me thatthis is an unkind remark and ought to be omit thinking, of course, in terms of propositions and distinctions and argu
ted. Itseemsto meto beanimportantthingtosay, however. Ididnotexpe ments.) Ilostatthattime,andforgood,anycapacityfor takinganyliberal
rience the crisis of consciences0 common among Evangelical or Roman ized or secularized version of Christianity seriously. I could read Lewis. I
Catholicuniversitystudentswholeavethe Church.Andthereasonisthatif couldtry to read Harvey Cox orWilliam Hamilton. Icould see the differ
Evangelicals or Roman Catholics stop going to church, itis hard for them ence.To thisday, Icannotseewhyanyonedisagreeswithmyjudgmentthat
to avoid the question how they can justify not going to churchwhen they academic theologians oftheir stripe have nothing ofinterest to say. I have
believe what they do-if, indeed, loss of belief was not their reason for to admit, however, that some very learned people do disagree with this
leaving the Church. Itis, however, simply a fact that a Unitariancan sever judgment.
his connectionwithUnitarianismwithoutchangingany ofhis beliefs. The onlything was, Ididn't believe it. Icould seethat there was an "it"
Ifyou hadaskedmeaboutmyreligious beliefswhenIwasanundergrad to believe,and ifIdidnotreallyseehowmuch therewasto beinga Christ
uateoragraduatestudent(aperiodthatcoveredroughlythe 1960s),Isup ian beyond having certain beliefs, Idid see that the beliefs must come first
poseIshouldhavesaidIwasanagnostic,although therewasa briefperiod and that a Christian life without those beliefs is an impossibility. One day
when Iwas ingraduate school duringwhich-under the influence ofsome in the late 1960s,I fell to my knees and prayed for faith, but faith did not
version or otherofthe Argumentfrom Evil-Ishould probablyhave said I come. I do not know what led me to make this gesture, but presumably
was an atheist. This was a position ofthe head, not the heart, however: It there must have been some sort offelt pressure, and presumably this pres
had no more connection with my emotional life than, say, my belief (also sure did not long continue. Iexpectthat I had been setting God some sort
briefly held in graduate school) that Quine had shown that quantified oftest: Ifyou don't give mefaith on thespot, I'llconcludethat you do not
modal logicwas impossible. Myemotional lifein the late 1960s,insofaras exist or are not interested in me and that these pressures I've been feeling
Ihad one, hadentirelyto do with the concerns ofeverydaylife-although, have some sort of purely natural explanation and can be ignored till they
to be sure, everyday life for a graduate studentin philosophyis a little dif goaway. Weall knowhowwell thatsortofthingworks.
ferent from the everyday life of most people. A very important feature of Imarried,spenttwoyears inthearmy(attheheightoftheAmericanmil
my life as a graduate student was a growingconviction that I was a better itary involvement in Vietnam; but I was safe in Germany), became the fa
philosopherthananyofmyfellowgraduatestudentsandmostofmyteach ther ofa daughter, and begantoteach philosophy. Iwas entirely immersed
ers. Vanity in this area-wounded vanity, because little attention was paid in the secular world: Sunday was my day of rest and my day of nothing
to me orto mywork duringthe earlyyears ofmycareer-was adominant else. Although Icontinuedto be interestedin Christianityin an intellectual
feature ofmyinnerlifeinthe 1970s.(Professionalvanitymaywellcontinue sort ofway, it would no more have occurred to me to take up churchgo
to dominate my innerlife, butitwould beharderfor me to tell these days, ing-evenas anexperiment-thanto takeup hang-glidingor bookbinding.
since Inow feel, rightly or wrongly, that my philosophicaltalents are ade In1973Ispentsixdelightfulweeksonthe campusofCalvin College atthe
quately recognized by the profession. Wounded vanity is a rather more National Endowmentfor the Humanities Summer Institute in the Philoso-
salientfeature ofone's innerlifethanself-satisfiedvanity.) .phyofReligion,which was directed byAlvin Plantinga. Asfar as Iam able
4 Quam Dilecta QuamDilecta 5
to tell byintrospectionand memory, this had nothing to with my religious Ishalltryto describethreeofthese "episodesofthought." First,Icanre
development, although it had agreatdeal to do with myphilosophical de member having a picture ofthe cosmos, the physical universe, as a self
velopment. (plantinga's lectures-which covered roughly the same ground subsistentthing, something that is just there and requires no explanation.
as his book The Nature ofNecessity-became for me a model for doing When Isay "havinga picture," Iamtryingto describea stateofmind that
philosophy.) Besides myfamily, my only interests were philosophy and my could be called up wheneverIdesired and which centeredround a certain
career in philosophy. Perhapsmy former wife and my daughter would say mental image. This mental image-it somehow represented the whole
that the qualification "besides my family" is unnecessary. I certainly was world-was associated with a felt conviction that what the image repre
taken up both with my researches and my desire to be recognized and ad sentedwas self-subsistent. Icanstillcallthe imageto mind (I think it's the
mired. Myresearches, Ithink,wentverywell indeed, butIhaunted myde same image), and it still represents the whole world, but it is now associ
partmental mailbox mostlyin vain and was subject to frequent periods of atedwithafeltconvictionthatwhatitrepresentsisnotself-subsistent,that
depression andspasmsofangerbecauseofmylackofprofessionalrecogni it must depend on something else, something not represented by any fea
tion. The angerwasdirectedatcertain ofmyformerteachers (themorefa ture of the image, and which must be, in some way that the experience
mous ones) who, I'believed, were in a position to advance my career and leavesindeterminate,radicallydifferentinkindfromwhattheimagerepre
yetweredoingnothingforme. Ibelievedthattheyjustdidn'tseehowgood sents. Interestingly enough, there was a period oftransition, a period dur
I was and wasted theirinfluence in advancing the careers of people who ing which Icould move back and forth at will, in "duck-rabbit" fashion,
were lessgoodthan1. (Iwasnever jealousofthese otherpeople, onlyenvi betweenexperiencingtheimageasrepresentingtheworldasself-subsistent
ous: Ididn'twant them notto getwhattheygot, butIwantedsome, too.) and experiencing the image as representing the world as dependent. I am
When Al PIantinga wrote toHector Castaneda, suggestingthat a paper of notsure whatperiodin mylife, as measured by the guideposts ofexternal
mine be published in Naus, and when Tony Kenny wrote to the Oxford biography, this transition periodcoincided with. Iknow that itis now im
UniversityPress,tellingthemthatIhada manuscriptthattheyoughttotry possible for me to represent the world t~ myself as anything but depen
to get holdof, this made meevenangrierwithmyteachers: "There," Isaid dent.
to myself, "Thatprovesit.Itcan be done. Compatativestrangersdo it, but The second memory has to do with the doctrine ofthe Resurrection of
they don't." I sometimes wonder whether my teachers knew about this the Dead. I can remember this: trying to imagine myselfas having under
anger. Myrelationswiththemwereentirelyfriendlywheneverwemet.This gone this resurrection, as having died and now being once more alive, as
friendliness wasnotexactlyhypocrisyon mypart,since, as Isay, the anger wakingupafterdeath.Youmightthinkitwould beeasyenoughfortheun
was not continuous butspasmodic, and Iam notverygood at being angry believer to imagine this-no harder, say, than imagining the sun's turning
with people who are actuallyin thesameroom with me. (ButI never once greenoratree'stalking. But-nodoubtpartly becausetheresurrectionwas
in acalmermomentrepentedthesespasmsofanger, which Ialwaysconsid something that was actually proposed for my belief, and no doubt partly
eredappropriateandfully justified.) because I as an unbeliever belonged to death's kingdom and had made a
Icanrememberprettywell onefeature ofthis periodthat is particularly covenantwithdeath-Iencountereda kind ofspiritualwallwhenItriedto
relevantto mytopic:whatitwaslikenottohaveanyreligiousbeliefs.That imagine this. The whole weight of the material world, the world of the
is, Ican rememberprettyclearlycertainepisodes ofthoughtthatare possi blindinteraction offorces whose laws have no exceptions and in which an
ble onlyfor the secular mind, butthe memoryis not "sympathetic"; it is a access ofdisorder can never be undone, would thrust itselfinto my mind
sort of looking at the past from the outside. Here is an analogy. Suppose with terribleforce, assomethingalmosttangible,andtheeffortofimagina
that you now love someoneyou once hated. You might well be able to re tionwouldfail. Icanrememberepisodesofthiskindfrom outside. Icanno
member an episode duringwhich your hatred manifested itself-say, in the longer recapture their character. I have nothing positive to put in their
writing of a letter in which you said terrible things to that person. You place,nothingthatcorrespondstoseeingtheworldas dependent. ButIcan
might remember veryclearly,for example, hesitating between two turns of imagine the resurrection without hindrance (although my imaginings are
phrase, deciding that one of them was the more likely to wound, and nodoubtalmostentirelywrong)andassent, inmyintellect,to arealitythat
choosing it onthat account. Butsince you now love that person, and (pre /.: correspondstowhatIimagine.
sumably) cannotfeel thewayyoufeltwhenyouhated,thereisagoodsense Thetwo "episodes"Ihavedescribedwererecurrent. Ishallnowdescribea
in which you cannot "rememberwhat it was like" to write the letter. You particularexperiencethatwas not repeatedand was not verysimilarto any
are lookingatyourpastfrom outside. otherexperienceIhavehad. Ihad justreadan accountofthe death ofHan-
6 Quam Dilecta QuamDilecta 7
del, who, dying,hadexpressedaneagernessto die andto meethisdearSav I remained in a state ofuncertaintyfor some time. During this period, I
ior,JesusChrist,face toface. Myreactiontothiswas negativeandextremely described mystateofmind bysayingthatIdidn'tknowwhetherI believed
vehement,alittleexplosionofcontempt,modified bypity.Itmightbeputin or not. Eventually I performed an act of will. I asked my colleague and
these words: "You poor booby,You cheat." Handel had been taken in, I friend Bill Alston (to his considerable astonishment) to put me in touch
thought, and yet at the sametimehe was gettingaway with something. Al with a priest. The priestI was put in touch with was-at that time and in
though his greatesthopewasaniUusion, nothingcouldrob himofthecom relation to that particular need-ofno help to me, but my interview with
fortofthishope,forafterhisdeathhewouldnotexistandtherewouldbeno him took place in his study, which was in a church building. While I was
onethere toseehowwronghehadbeen.Idon'tknowwhetherIwouldhave talking with him, it became clear to me that a large part of my difficulty
disillusioned him ifIcQuld·have, butIcertainly managed simultaneouslyto with the Church might be churches. It became clear to me that one fact
believethathewas "ofallmenthemostmiserable" andthathewasgettinga about me that was ofrelevance to mycondition was that I didn't want to
prettygooddeal. OfcourSethisreactionwasmixedwithmyknowledgethat startgoing to church. Well, Ithought, at leastthat's a fact Ican do some
the kind of experienceltried to describe in the preceding example would thing about. I decided to start going to church-simply to attend an early
makeHandel'santicipationofwhatwastohappenafterhisdeathimpossible Eucharist every Sunday morning as a sort ofobserver, with no more com
for me. I supposelregardedthat experience as somehow veridical and be mitment involved than five dollars for the collection plate. I began doing
lieved thatHandelmusthavehadsuchexperiences,too,andmusthave been this. The first effectwas that it putmy wife into a fury, even though Iwas
trained,orhavetrainedhimself,toignorethem. always home from church before she was awake. But I soon found that I
In 1980 ortherea'bouts, I began to experience a sort of pressure to be liked going to church and that an unconscious fear ofchurchgoingwas no
come a Christian: a vast discontent with not being a Christian, a pressure longera barrier betweenme andthe Church. Thiswould have been inSep
to do something. Presumably this pressure was ofthe same sort that had tember 1982,atjustaboutthe time ofmy fortieth birthday. The following
led me to prayfor faith onthatone occasionten years earlier, butthis was May I was baptized. Following my baptism, I received my first Commu
sustained. Thiswenton and on. Mymindatthe time isnot readilyaccessi nion.Sincethen, the Sacramenthas beenthecenterofChristian devotional
ble to me in memory. I wish I had kept a journal. I know that sneers di life for me. Itis no more possible for me willfully to forgo Holy Commu
rectedat Godandthe Church,which-IhopeIamnotgivingawayanyse nion on a Sunday than for me, say, to slander a colleague or to refuse to
cret here~areverycommon in the academy, were becoming intolerable to payadebt.
me. (Whatwas especially intolerablewas the implied invitation to join in, And since then I have been an Episcopalian. I regard myself as a
the absolutelyunexaminedassumptionthat becauseIwas amemberofthe Catholic, and the Anglican communion as a branch (separated from other
academic community I would, of course, regard sneering at God and the branches byhistoricaltragedy) ofthe CatholicChurchthatis mentionedas
Church as meet, right, and even my boundenduty.) Iperhapsdid not have an article ofbeliefin the Creeds. Icannoteasilysee myselfas a memberof
anything like a desire to turn to Christ as my Savior, or a desire to lead a any other denomination, although I believe that the Episcopal Church is
godly, righteous,andsoberlife, butIdidhaveastrongdesireto belongtoa among the best possible illustrations of Robert Conquest's second law:
Christian community of discourse, a community in which it was open to Everyorganization appears to beheaded bysecret agents ofits opponents.
people to talk to each other inwords like the ones that Lewis addresses to Eventually, I suppose, the high-minded progressives who control the de
his correspondent in Letters to an American Lady. I envied people who nomination at the national level will do some truly appalling thing and I
could talk to oneanotherinthoseterms. IknowthatIwas becomingmore shall at last have to leave, but I hope I have a while left in the Episcopal
and more repelled by the "great secular consensus" that comprises the Church, because I really do like the place. (An Anglican joke: "Why is
worldviewofjust about everyone connected with the universities, journal Rome calledtheEternal City?Becausethere's alwaysRome.';)
ism, the literaryand artisticintelligentsia,and the entertainmentindustry. I As a Christian, I ofcourse believe that conversions are the work of God
knew that confused as I might be about many things, I Was quite clear and are thus largelyinvisible to the convert, save in their effects. Neverthe
about one thing: Icould not bear the thought of being a part ofthat con less,Ibelieve,theconvertmusthaveturnedtoGodandinsomefashionhave
sensus.Whatmadeitso repulsiveto mecan besummedup inaschoolyard askedforhis help. Ihaveno usefulmemoryofwhatIdidto ask Godfor his
cri de coeur: "They think they're so smart!" I was simply revolted by the helporofthe form inwhichthathelpcame. Naturally,Iprayed~ondition­
malevolent, self-satisfied stupidity of the attacks on Christianity that pro ally-butwhatitwasaboutthoseprayersthatwasdifferentfrom myprayer
ceededfrom theconsensus. inthe 1960sorwhatitwas thatIdidbesidesprayis unknowntome.
8 QuamDilecta Quam Dilecta 9
I was allowed the usual honeymoon. The counterattack occurred in thathistheorywasendorsed byno one;Iknewthathewasfanatically hos
1985. As might be expected with a person like me, it was an intellectual tile to Christianity. As to the physicists and cosmologists, their claim was
counterattack.Atleast,itwasanintellectualcounterattackinthesensethat philosophicalnonsense,trickedoutto looklikesense bygames playedwith
it had to do with propositions and evidence and arguments, and not with the word 'nothing'. These things I knew then as well as I do now, but I
personal tragedy or sexual temptation or distaste for liturgical innovation could not make them real to myself. There was always a voice that whis
ordisillusionmentwiththebehaviorofmyfellow Christians.Butitwasnot pered, "Butthis is notphilosophy.Youarenota biblicalscholaroraphysi
anintellectualcounterattackinthesensethatithadmuchrespectableintel cist. You are out of your ele.ment here, and they are in theirs. Your criti
lectual content. A great deal ofits content, in fact, was simply ludicrous, cisms arewithoutvalue,you amateur."
and Iwasperfectlywell aware afthatatthetime, butthat did not make it Thenetresultofmystateofmindwasfear. Iwas unableto readtheBible
anylesseffective. Onepartohhecounterattackwasa real intellectualdiffi ortolookata newspaperarticlereportingthe latestpublicpronouncement
culty: Iwas extremelyworried by]esus' apparent prediction ofthe end of of some cosmologist about where the universe came from. And I was
the present age within the lifetime ofsome ofthe witnesses to his earthly ~. ashamed to seek help from my fellow Christians, since I knew that the
ministry. NowadaysIwouldsaythatIdon'texpectthattheNewTestament things that were troubling me were nonsense, and I didn't want to look a
always gives an exact account ofJesus' words, and that the passages that fool. (And, atthesametime,therewas this quite inconsistentfear: Suppose
worried meare probablyaconflationofhispredictionofthedestructionof Idid ask and was told, "You know, that's always worried me, too. Idon't
Jerusalem and his description ofthe End Times; Iwould saythatthis con know what to say about that. And those counterarguments you keep re
flation was natural enough, given the beliefs of the early Church. And I hearsing toyourselfare worthless, and I'll tell you why.") Perhapsthe best
wouldaddto thisthatIamnotsureitisinconsistentwitharobust and or way to describe my state of mind would be by an analogy. You don't be
thodoxtheologyoftheIncarnationtoholdthatJesushimselfbelievedinan lieveinghosts, right? Well, neitherdoI. Buthowwould youliketospenda
imminentParousia(althoughIamnotentirelyhappyaboutthatidea). And night alone in a graveyard? I am subject to night fears, and Ican tell you
not onlywouldIsaythesethingsnowadays, butIsaidthem (tomyself, just that Ishouldn'tlike itat all. And yetIam perfectlywell awarethat fear of
aboutdaily) forseveralyearsinthemid-1980s.ThedifferenceisthatnowI ghosts is contrary to science, reason, and religion. If I were sentenced to
am perfectlycomfortablewith these arguments·, and then they seemedlike spenda nightalone inagraveyard,Ishouldknowbeforehandthatnopiece
a wretched subterfuge to me. It's not that) perceived some flaw in them ofevidencewasgoingto transpireduringthe nightthatwoulddo anything
that I was unable to deal with. I perceived no flaw in them. They simply to raise the infinitesimal prior probability ofthe hypothesis that there are
seemed like a wretched subterfuge to me, and that is all that there was to ghosts. Ishould already knowthat twigs were going to snap and the wind
sayaboutthe matter. moanand thatthere would behalf-seenmovementsin the darkness. And I
The other parts ofthe counterattack are so flimsy that Iam ashamed to shouldknowthattheinevitableoccurrencesofthesethings would be ofno
record them. One derived from a newspaper report that a certain biblical evidential value whatever. And yet after I had been frog-marched into the
scholar (a manwho Ilaterlearned had writtena bookthecentralthesis of graveyard, Ishould feel a thrill offear every time one ofthese things hap
whichwas thatJesuswas ahallucinogenicmushroom) maintainedthatun ~., pened. Icouldreasonwithmyself: "Ibelievethatthe dead are inheavenor
published material from the Dead Sea Scrolls contained prototypes from hell or else that they sleep until the General Resurrection. And if my reli
which the Gospels were derived, prototypesthat antedated the birth ofJe gionisanillusion,thensomeformofmaterialismisthecorrectmetaphysic,
sus. The other had its basis in the claimsofsome physicists and cosmolo and materialism is incompatible with the existence of ghosts. And if the
gists to beable toshow(orto beaboutto beabletoshow)thatthecosmos Church and the materialists are both wrong and there are ghosts, what
was somehow a thing thathad come into existence literally out of noth could be the harm in a ghost? What could such a poor wispy thing do to
ing-that is, without any causal antecedents whatever, either temporal or one?" Andwhatwould thevalueofthis verycogentpiece ofreasoning be?
ontological. I knewwhat to sayin response to these arguments, ofcourse. Noneatall,atleastinrespectofallayingmyfear ofghosts.
Anyonewhothoughtaboutitwould.Iknewthatthisscholardidnotclaim Possibly, if one were subject to an irrational fear of ghosts, one would
to have seen these Gospel prototypes; rather, he inferred their existence eventually lose itifonewere forced to spend every night alone in a grave
from scraps ofinformationaboutthe unpublished DeadSeaScrollsmater yard. Somethinglikethatseemstohavehappenedtomeasregardstheirra
ial byanelaborateRubeGoldberg(orHeathRobinson) chainofreasoning; tionalfears that underlaywhatIhavecalledthe counterattack. Eventually,
Iknewthathewasdemonstrablyregardedbymanyscholarsasacrankand theysimplyfaded away. Iam nowunclearaboutwhatthetime frame ofall
10 QuamDilecta Quam Dilecta 11
this was. I knowthat the full force·ofit lastedfor several years and that it WhatIcannot do is to make the obvious logical consequence ofthese two
was horrible. IamsurethatIcouldiiaynothingthatwouldconveythehor objects of intellectual awareness real to myself. All of the particular acts
ror ofittosomeonewho hadnothadasimilarexperience, justassomeone thatfall underthesegeneral headings (pride, etc.) "feel" all rightto me be
who was "afraid ofghosts" (withoutbelievingin their existence) could do cause they are done by me-that is, in these mitigating circumstances,
nothing to convey to someone,whQ was free from this fear what was so which onlyIappreciate. (Ofcourseitwas excusable for me to answer him
horribleaboutspendinga nightalqne inagraveyard oran abandoned and in those words, after he looked at me like that.) Nevertheless, whether I
am
isolated house. Thefears, whiletheylasted, were tireless and persistent. At should be or not, I not greatly troubled or uneasy about this. I am
onetimeIcalledthem(tomyself;1neverspokeofthesethings, outofpride somehowconfidentthat God, having broughtmyintellect (atleastto some
andshame) the barrage. Reasonisimpotentinsuchsituations, since oneis degree) under his control, is patiently working inward and is beginning to
already intellectually convincedthat there is nothing to fear. (Fear replies, achieve some sortofmastery over my passions and my appetites. I believe
"Ah, but you have reasoned wrong." "How have I reasoned wrong?" "I that parts of me that were diseased but vigorous ten years ago have been
said, you have reasonedwroIig.") And prayer,whateverits objective bene killed and replaced with grafts of living, healthy tissue. But it is obvious
fits, brings no immediatepsychologicalcomfort,as itcando inmanykinds from my behavior and the shameful inner thoughts that I reveal to no one
of affliction; on the psychological level, prayer merely aggravates the fear but God (andIsometimes catch myselfthinking in ways that seem to pre
thatthere isNo OneTherebymakingthequestionwhetherthere isanyone supposethatIcanhide these thoughts even from him) that the process has
there momentarilyinescapableandlettingthefears looseonit. alongwaytogo. Ioftenfeel asifGodissayingtome (whenIhaveformed,
Somehow, with God's help, I got through this period. (I often wonder say, some shameful plan of revenge and humiliation), "You know, if it
whether it was some kindergarten version of "the dark night ofthe soul," weren'tfor me, you wouldactuallycarryoutthatplan. Don'tsupposethat
butIhaveneverreallyunderstoodwhatthatphrasemeans.) Ihopeitnever you are really capable ofresisting the temptation to do things like that. In
returns. Ihopethatthepartofmeonwhichitoperatedisdead,swallowed letting you have these thoughts, Iam showingyou what you would do ifI
up in that death into which we are baptized. But God has, as is his usual everleftyouto yourself,evenfor a moment."
practice,givenmenoguarantees,and,for allIknow, itcouldallstartagain
tomorrow. IT
There is notmuch moreto tellaboutmylife that is relevantto mytopic.
In 1987myfirstwife,forreasonsthatIdo notunderstand,insistedonadi "Yes,yes, autobiographical narrativeis allverywell, but we wantto know
vorce. (Thisisperhapsthe only badthing thathasever happened to me, at howyou canpossibly believe allthatstuff."
leastas theworldcounts badthings. Ido notthink Ishouldmake muchof A couple of years ago, I wrote a paper about NewTestament criticism,
a martyr; Ihave nothad thetraining.) Thedivorcewas grantedthe follow whichcontainedthefollowingpassage:
ing year, and the year after that I married Elisabeth Bolduc. Several years
Iamaconvert.ForthefirstfortyyearsofmylifeIwasoutsidetheChurch.For
earlier,herhusbandhadmovedoutandleftherwithathree-week-old baby
much ofmylife, whatIbelieved aboutthe Churchwas amixture oUactand
and two olderchildren. We metandwere married in the churchin which I hostile invention, some ofit asinine and some ofit quite clever. Eventually, I
had been baptizedandconfirmed.1Lisette,asmywifeis usuallycalled, is entered the Church, an act that involved assenting to certain propositions. I
besides being a deeply Christian woman-an extrovert with a strong per believethatIhad,andstillhave,good reasons for assenting to thoseproposi
sonality and a vigorousemotional life. She thinks Iam too intellectual and tions, althoughIamnotsurewhatthose reasonsare. Doesthatsound odd?It
introverted and is determined to draw me out of myself. She may be suc shouldnot.I meanthis.Iaminclinedtothinkthatmyreasonsforassentingto
ceeding. And then again,Imay betoo oldadogto learn newtricks. thosepropositionscouldbewrittendowninafewpages-thatICQuidactually
do this. ButIknow that ifIdid,therewould be manynon-Christians, people
At presentmyreligious lifeis inwhatissometimes called a dry period. I
justasintelligentasI am, whowould bewillingtoacceptwithoutreservation
have troubleprayingand "findingtime" to readthe Bible.Ihavealmost no
everything I had written down, and who would yet remain what they had
senseofmyselfas asinnerwhoneedsthesavingpowerofChrist,although,
been: untroubled agnostics, aggressive atheists, pious Muslims, or whatever.
of course, I fully accept the proposition that I am a sinner who needs
And there are many who would say that this shows that what Ihad written
Christ. I can see perfectly well my pride and anger and sloth and lust and
down couldnotreallyconstitutegoodreasons for assentingto those proposi
self-centeredness and callousness. I can see perfectly well that pride and tions. Ifit did (so the objection would run), reading what I had written on
anger and sloth and lust and self-centeredness and callousness are sins. those pages would convert intelligent agnostics, atheists, and Muslims to