The Pits and the Pendulum: A Life with Bipolar Disorder

160 Pages·2008·2.992 MB·English

by  Brian Adams

The Pits and the Pendulum
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The Pits and the Pendulum
A Life with Bipolar Disorder
Brian Adams
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedinanymaterialform
(includingphotocopyingorstoringitinanymediumbyelectronicmeansandwhetherornot
transientlyorincidentallytosomeotheruseofthispublication)withoutthewrittenpermission
ofthecopyrightownerexceptinaccordancewiththeprovisionsoftheCopyright,Designsand
PatentsAct1988orunderthetermsofalicenceissuedbytheCopyrightLicensingAgency
Ltd,90TottenhamCourtRoad,London,EnglandW1T4LP.Applicationsforthecopyright
owner’swrittenpermissiontoreproduceanypartofthispublicationshouldbeaddressedtothe
publisher.
Warning:Thedoingofanunauthorisedactinrelationtoacopyrightworkmayresultinbotha
civilclaimfordamagesandcriminalprosecution.
TherightofBrianAdamstobeidentifiedasauthorofthisworkhasbeenassertedbyhimin
accordancewiththeCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988.
FirstpublishedintheUnitedKingdomin2003
byJessicaKingsleyPublishers
116PentonvilleRoad
LondonN19JB,UK
and
400MarketStreet,Suite400
Philadelphia,PA19106,USA
www.jkp.com
Copyright©2003BrianAdams
Printeddigitallysince2003
LibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationData
Adams,Brian,1946-
Thepitsandthependulum:alifewithbipolar/BrianAdams.
p.cm.
ISBN1-84310-104-1(pbk.:alkpaper)
1.Adams,Brian,1946-2.manic-depressiveillness--Patients--GreatBritain--Biography.
I.Title.
RC516A322002
616.89’5’0092--dc21
[B] 2002070915
BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublicationData
ACIPcataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary
ISBN1843101041
ISBNpdfeBook:1846423589
PrintedandBoundinGreatBritainby
AthenaeumPress,Gateshead,TyneandWear
Contents
NOTASURVIVOR’SGUIDE 8
PROLOGUE–GLASGOWDAWN 9
Chapter 1 Legoland and Holes in the Head – Mania 13
Chapter 2 The Pits – Depression 22
Chapter 3 Lost in Fife – The Beginning 30
Chapter 4 Flaming Buckets – Seventies Psychiatric
Hospital I 34
Chapter 5 Pay and Free Uniform – Seventies Psychiatric
Hospital II 39
Chapter 6 Talking to God – Suicide 43
Chapter 7 Christopher Columbus, David Livingstone
and Me – Work 47
Chapter 8 One of Us – Famous Manic-Depressives 61
Chapter 9 Babes in My Moods – Paranoia 66
Chapter 10 Not Work, Not Working – Breakdown 75
Chapter 11 Sideways Through the Torphins HaLF-edj
– Ambulance Journey 83
Chapter 12 Pantiled Peep Show – Modern Psychiatric
Hospital Building 92
Chapter 13 Psychos! – Acute Psychiatric Ward 98
Chapter 14 Tack Short of a Fitted Carpet – Synonyms 106
Chapter 15 The Last Time I Saw Linda –
Electroconvulsive Therapy 108
Chapter 16 Sweet Violets – The Psychotherapist 113
Chapter 17 Sweating it Out with the Professionals –
Doctors and Nurses 117
Chapter 18 …and Mopped up by the System –
Hospital Appearances 125
Chapter 19 Concessionville – Getting Around 130
Chapter 20 Show Folks – Social Wipeout 136
Chapter 21 The Choir Lady – Making Things Worse 144
Chapter 22 Only a Salt – Prescription Drugs 146
Chapter 23 Another Way of Being – Something
to Celebrate? 154
Winston Churchill, Pablo Picasso, Christopher Columbus,
Lord Byron, David Livingstone, Tony Hancock,
Abraham Lincoln, Edgar Allan Poe, Robert Burns,
Alexander the Great, Spike Milligan, Vivien Leigh, Napoleon,
Mao Tse-tung…and Me.
Not a Survivor’s Guide
Iwonderedabouthowtotackleabookaboutmymanicdepression
for some time. In January 1998 I saw how and this is the result.
SometimeswhenIwroteIwasabitdown,sometimesIwashigh
and sometimes I was even higher up than that and so different
versionsofmehavecontributedtothisbook.Thewriting,therefore,
reflectsthis,containingdifferentshadesandmoods,nottomention
the contradictions. But that is all right for it is illustrative of the
illness itself and whilst I believe that the little factual information I
give on the illness is accurate, this book is not a survivor’s guide or
anythingofthesort.ItisjustatourofmanicdepressionwhichIhope
will communicate something of the character of the illness to
non-sufferers and strike some chords with my fellow manic-
depressives. It is also written for my family and friends who until
theyreadthefirstdraftwereonlyabletoseetheeffectsoftheillness.
I also wrote the book for myself.
Mythankstothefollowingfortheirencouragementandhelpin
the production of this book: Fiona Moncrieff, Kelvin Paisley,
Christine and John Ritchie, Carole Sands, Dr Douglas Fowlie, Bob
Watson,MikeHarley,MarionNewton,AlasdairMacroneandHilary
Winter.