The philosophical parent : asking the hard questions about having and raising children

337 Pages·2017·1.598 MB·English

by  Jean Kazez

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THE PHILOSOPHICAL PARENT
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THE PHILOSOPHICAL PARENT
Asking the Hard Questions about
Having and Raising Children
Jean Kazez
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© Oxford University Press 2017
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Kazez, Jean, author.
Title: The philosophical parent : asking the hard questions about having and
raising children / Jean Kazez.
Description: New York : Oxford University Press, 2017. | Includes
bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016037115 (print) | LCCN 2017007841 (ebook) |
ISBN 9780190652609 (cloth : alk. paper) | ISBN 9780190652616 (updf) |
ISBN 9780190652623 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Child rearing—Philosophy. | Parent and child—Philosophy.
Classification: LCC HQ769 .K346 2017 (print) | LCC HQ769 (ebook) |
DDC 649/.1—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016037115
1 3 5 7 9 8 6 4 2
Printed by Edwards Brothers Malloy, United States of America
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For my children,
with mathematical certainty.
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CONTENTS
Introduction  ix
1. Children Come from Us: What’s so special
about having kids?  1
2. Life Is Good: Are babies lucky to be born
or just the opposite?  15
3. Quantity Control: Must we care about
population statistics?  31
4. Quality Control: Should we mess with nature?  47
5. In the Beginning: What’s going on in there?  67
6. A Child Is Born: Is labor pain simply awful?  85
7. Whose Child Is This? Why do biological parents
have prerogatives?  99
8. Nobody’s Child: Does biology really matter?  117
9. Parenthood’s Aim: What’s a parent for?  133
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Contents
10. First Decisions: To cut or not to cut?  151
11. Still Life with Child: Who’s going to care for
the baby?  171
12. Boys and Girls: Is it okay to prefer a girl or
a boy? Should parents reinforce gender?  187
13. The One and the Many: When must I contribute
to group efforts?  209
14. Lies, Lies, Lies: Should we ever lie to
our children … or for them?  231
15. Passing on Religion: Should we raise children
in our own image?  245
16. Letting Go: What should we do for our
grown children?  259
17. Going Home: What should our grown children
do for us?  269
18. Parenthood and Meaning: Does parenthood
make us better off?  277
Acknowledgments  293
Annotated Bibliography  295
Index  315
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INTRODUCTION
Having children turns every parent and parent-t o- be into a phi-
losopher. The philosophical questions are right there in the many
perplexing situations we confront in the process of bringing new
people into the world and then raising them. Fortunately, we’re also
in a position to spend some time thinking about these questions.
Becoming and being a parent is full of waiting, which means we
have time to muse, grapple, wonder, and discuss.
There’s waiting to get pregnant— why is it so important to
become a parent? Waiting for morning sickness to end— why does
nausea make all of life seem so dismal? Waiting for lab results—a re
there any problems that would make termination of a pregnancy a
reasonable choice? And waiting for a fetus to become a baby—a t
what point has your child come into existence?
Later, there’s waiting for the crying to stop so you can leave for
work— is it okay that you’re going to work? Waiting at the park
while your child plays— why is your child so beautiful and brilliant
in your eyes, and should you try to be more objective? Waiting in
doctors’ offices— must you vaccinate, even if there’s a tiny risk of a