The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

124 Pages·1999·1.37 MB·English

by  Martin

Table of Contents

Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Foreword
Introduction
Chapter 1. - WORDS OF LIFE
Chapter 2. - TAKE CARE WITH LABELS
Chapter 3. - HAPPINESS IS CONTAGIOUS
Chapter 4. - INFINITE POSSIBILITIES
Chapter 5. - SEEING TO THE HEART
Chapter 6. - RELAX YOUR GRIP
Chapter 7. - PRESENT FOR ALL
Chapter 8. - MODEL CONTENTMENT
Chapter 9. - CAN YOU MAKE ROOM?
Chapter 10. - AS THEY ARE
Chapter 11. - THE STILL POINT
Chapter 12. - A QUIET PLACE
Chapter 13. - FEAR OF FAILURE
Chapter 14. - THEIR MYSTERIOUS ORIGIN
Chapter 15. - BE ALERT AND MINDFUL
Chapter 16. - EMPTY YOURSELF OF WORRIES
Chapter 17. - NO NEED FOR THREATS
Chapter 18. - NATURAL VIRTUES
Chapter 19. - RECOGNIZE THE INNER REALITIES
Chapter 20. - BE A MODEL OF HONESTY
Chapter 21. - THE HIDDEN MYSTERY OF THEIR BEING
Chapter 22. - YOUR GREATEST LEGACY
Chapter 23. - NO MIXED MESSAGES
Chapter 24. - AGENDAS—YOURS OR THEIRS?
Chapter 25. - CLOUDS OF LIGHT
Chapter 26. - BECOME THE STUDENT
Chapter 27. - FAN THE SPARK
Chapter 28. - TRANSFORMING THE WORLD
Chapter 29. - THE VERY ENERGY OF THE UNIVERSE
Chapter 30. - GOOD BEHAVIOR
Chapter 31. - YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR ENEMIES
Chapter 32. - RULES DO NOT GIVE LIFE
Chapter 33. - THERE ARE FEW THINGS YOU MUST KNOW
Chapter 34. - BE AS THE TAO
Chapter 35. - MAKE THE ORDINARY COME ALIVE
Chapter 36. - OPPOSITES ARE NECESSARY
Chapter 37. - ENCOURAGE NATURAL DESIRES
Chapter 38. - NO NEED FOR FORCE
Chapter 39. - ARE YOU IN THE WAY?
Chapter 40. - QUIET THE MIND
Chapter 41. - FINDING BALANCE
Chapter 42. - BEFRIEND SOLITUDE
Chapter 43. - DOING NOTHING
Chapter 44. - FIND YOUR OWN MEANING
Chapter 45. - PERFECTION
Chapter 46. - EACH DAY IS A DANCE
Chapter 47. - PROVIDING FOR
Chapter 48. - LESS IS MORE
Chapter 49. - GIVING RESPECT
Chapter 50. - LETTING GO
Chapter 51. - CHILDREN NATURALLY LOVE LIFE
Chapter 52. - ALL IS WELL
Chapter 53. - DON’T MAKE IT HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE
Chapter 54. - CREATE CLARITY AND ENCOURAGE FREEDOM
Chapter 55. - YOUR CHILDREN HAVE LESSONS TO TEACH
Chapter 56. - YOU HAVE LESSONS TO LEARN
Chapter 57. - REWARD AND PUNISHMENT
Chapter 58. - YOU CAN ONLY DEMONSTRATE
Chapter 59. - BE AMBITIOUS FOR JOY
Chapter 60. - GROWING A GARDEN
Chapter 61. - SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Chapter 62. - BE HAPPY
Chapter 63. - FACE YOUR PROBLEMS
Chapter 64. - THE ONLY STEP NECESSARY
Chapter 65. - KNOWLEDGE OR WISDOM?
Chapter 66. - LEAD BY EXAMPLE
Chapter 67. - COMPASSION, PATIENCE, AND SIMPLICITY
Chapter 68. - FUN AND GAMES
Chapter 69. - MARTIAL ARTS
Chapter 70. - TRUST THE TAO
Chapter 71. - HAVE CONFIDENCE
Chapter 72. - NATURAL SPIRITUALITY
Chapter 73. - OPEN YOUR ARMS WIDE
Chapter 74. - RIVER OF CHANGE
Chapter 75. - SPACE AND TIME
Chapter 76. - HOLD TIGHT ONLY TO COMPASSION
Chapter 77. - NEVER SEEK TO TRIUMPH OVER YOUR CHILDREN
Chapter 78. - DIFFICULTIES ARE OVERCOME BY YIELDING
Chapter 79. - REFUSE TO LEVEL BLAME
Chapter 80. - EMPTY NEST
Chapter 81. - WITHIN THE STREAM

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Published by
Marlowe & Company
An Imprint of Avalon Publishing Group Incorporated
161 William Street, 16th Floor
New York, NY 10038

Copyright © 1999 by William Martin
Illustrations copyright © 1999 by Hank Tusinski
Foreword © 1999 by Dan Millman

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission
from the publishers, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review in a
newspaper, magazine, or electronic publication, nor may any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or other, without written permission from the publisher.

DESIGN BY PAULINE NEUWIRTH, NEUWIRTH & ASSOCIATES, INC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Martin, William The parent’s Tao te ching / by
William Martin. p. cm.

ISBN 1-56924-662-9

1. Parenting. 2. Taoism. 3. Lao-tzu. Tao te ching.
1. Title.

HQ755.8.M358 1999
649’.1-dc21
98-54591
CIP

9 8

Manufactured in the United States of America
To my children, John and Lara.
They are the most wondrous of souls.
FOREWORD

AN ART WE LEARN BY DOING

IT’S A RARE THING when someone is able to improve on a classic——not
only improve it but wrap it in ribbons and offer it as a gift to the modern world.
It requires a man of rare wisdom, insight, and heart. Bill Martin is such a man.
The Parent’s Tao Te Ching is such a book. Not since the Tao of Poob has Taoist
wisdom transmogrified into something so practical, gentle, and good.
Few things in this world are as important as raising children. In every age,
every era, every time and place, children are our treasures, our future, our
immortality——the vital link in the chain of humanity. What better form of
service? What better charity to whom we might give of our wealth, our hands,
and our hearts? Children remind us of who we were and who we may yet
become. They are our innocence, our purity, our potential.
“Children have never been very good at listening to what their parents tell
them,” James Baldwin wrote, “but they never fail to imitate them.” We can only
teach by example, Bill Martin reminds us. By improving our own actions, and,
in the words of Aldous Huxley, “trying to be a little kinder,” we raise not only
our children, but our children’s standards.
As a father of three and grandfather of two, I’ve come belatedly to a fuller
appreciation of parenthood as a path of spiritual growth. It’s not for the faint-
hearted, and it’s not for everyone. Making babies—having children——is a
capacity bestowed by biology, but raising them well is an art we learn by doing.
“Mature adults don’t necessarily create children,” the proverb goes, “but