The Only Negotiating Guide You'll Ever Need: 101 Ways to Win Every Time in Any Situation

478 Pages·2003·1.31 MB·English

by  Peter B. Stark, Jane Flaherty

PRAISE FOR THE ONLY NEGOTIATING GUIDE YOU’LL EVER NEED
“Your skill as a negotiator determines your success in life. This book provides a wealth of
information in an engaging format. Whether you are a new or seasoned negotiator, this book is
for you!”
—John Vella, Chief Servicing Officer,
Option One Mortgage
“Very well written and … comprehensive. Peter’s personality shines through the text. A very
quick and practical read.”
—Paul Schmitt, SPHR,
Vice President,
Petco Animal Supplies, Inc.
“Without a doubt, the best part of the book is the [section with] 101 winning tactics. After citing
a tactic with an accompanying definition, [the authors] include a real-life example of how the
tactic may be utilized and what to expect from the opposition. So often, people write about
theory without demonstrating how theory works—that information is what is truly useful.”
—Mark Guglielmo,
Vice President, San Diego Padres
“In senior management in our company, we have always believed we really do negotiate for a
win-win, but after reading this, it becomes clear why people tell us it is tough to negotiate with
us. Sometimes we don’t consider the position of the people with whom we are trying to structure
a deal, especially if the other party is a major corporation much larger and with more financial
power than ourselves. My cofounder will have a copy of this book tomorrow!”
—Jim Konrath,
Chairman and CEO,
Accredited Home Lenders
“I have six books on negotiation in my bookcase. This one is the best!”
—Janice Duis-Lampert,
Director, Ralston Purina
“I personally like how this book is interactive. With numerous examples and questions one is
drawn into the negotiation process. Instead of simply absorbing the material in front of you, the
book forces you to think and place yourself in particular situations.”
—Patrick Kilkenny,
Chairman, Arrowhead Group
“As a busy person, I appreciate the ability to quickly get the information I need from the book.”
—Michael Graves,
Vice President and Manager,
Chase Manhattan Mortgage
Corporation
“Part II’s ‘101 Tactics for Successful Negotiation’ is virtually a stand-alone primer for any would-
be negotiator. If people can recognize, and perhaps master, the various tactics identified, they
should vastly improve their chances for successful, win-win negotiations.”
—James L. Balser,
Manager, Allegheny Energy Supply
“This book would be extremely beneficial in strengthening negotiation skills. If you [are] a
novice negotiator, this is a succinct vehicle for learning the craft of negotiation. If you [are] an
experienced negotiator, there are good reminders, but also some new thoughts to consider to
improve your success rate.”
—Jack Farnan, Vice President,
Mitchell International
“Too often we think of negotiating skills only when going into formal labor negotiations. The
strength and usefulness of this book [come from] understanding that we negotiate in almost
everything we do. Getting people to understand that and then apply these tactics would be very
useful to any organization.”
—Pam Smith, Director,
San Diego County
Aging and Independence Services
“In the beginning, having readers do a self-assessment to determine their negotiation strengths is
brilliant. This got me personally involved in the book. I was encouraged to read more. The 101
tactics were my favorites.”
—Tom Koning,
Sales Manager, LMA America
“It is to-the-point from start to finish. This book can be used as preparation for a major upcoming
deal. It could also be used as a teaching or training resource.”
—Robert Street, President and CEO,
American First Federal Credit Union
“By creating a general awareness of your own negotiating style, as well as that of your
counterpart, this book allows [you] to gain confidence in negotiating.
—Sheri Wright, Director, Callaway Golf
“Easy-to-read format, humorous.… My boss is anxious to get his own copy and incorporate it into
our sales management training.”
—Maria Luquin-Cooper,
Manager, Coca-Cola Bottling Co.
“A great self-study guide to becoming a better negotiator.”
—Jim Amos, CEO, Mail Boxes Etc.
“The reflection on real-life situations gives the book a relevancy that is easy to associate with.
[Providing] the process to help [readers] better understand themselves and others equips [them]
to be better negotiator[s].”
—Garry Ridge, President and CEO,
WD-40 Company, Inc.
“Extremely comprehensive—excellent format. Publish it tomorrow!”
—Blair L. Sandler, President and CEO,
Children’s Hospital and Health Center,
San Diego
“Instead of a ‘one size fits all’ approach, this book acknowledges the reality that situations, and
negotiations, differ. In order to negotiate, sell, and just navigate everyday life, one needs to have
skill in a variety of tactics (101 tactics, to be precise!).”
—Marilyn Owsley,
Manager, Kaiser Permanente
Also by Peter B. Stark and Jane Flaherty
The Competent Leader
The Manager’s Pocket Guide to Leadership Skills
Lifetime Leadership: Leaving Your Legacy

Also by Peter B. Stark
The Confident Leader
It’s Negotiable
THE ONLY NEGOTIATING GUIDE YOU’LL EVER NEED. Copryight © 2003 by Peter B. Stark and
Jane Flaherty. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any
information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. For
information, address Broadway Books, a division of Random House, Inc.
This book was originally self-published in 2002 as Everyone Negotiates: 101
Winning Tactics.
BROADWAY BOOKS and its logo, a letter B bisected on the diagonal,
are trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Visit our website at www.broadwaybooks.com
First Broadway Books edition published 2003.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Stark, Peter B.
The only negotiating guide you’ll ever need : 101 ways to win
every time in any situation / Peter B. Stark, Jane S. Flaherty.—1st ed.
p. cm
Rev. ed. of: Everyone negotiates. 2002.
1. Negotiation. I. Flaherty, Jane S. II. Stark, Peter B. Everyone negotiates.
III. Title.
BF637.N4S725 2003
302.3—dc21 2003052457
eISBN: 978-0-7679-1710-0
v3.1_r2
We have often heard the phrase “Everything is negotiable.” Although this sounds true,
in fact, some things are not negotiable. On August 17, 1998, Peter’s fourteen-year-old
daughter and Jane’s niece, Brittany, passed away while waiting for a heart transplant.
Brittany touched the lives of so many people. She was the type of person who helped us
all be the very best parents, sisters, brothers, and friends we could be. Although
Brittany’s life ended way too soon, we are all blessed to have been a part of it. It seems
God needed an angel.
Through the loss of Brittany, we learned the hard way that God’s plan is one thing
that is not negotiable. Someone once told us, “If you want to make God laugh, share
with Him ‘your’ plan.”
Brittany, thanks for showing the world what unconditional love, true happiness, and
the unwavering courage to fight for what’s right look like in real life. Like most
teenagers, you were a great negotiator. You were also a wonderful gift to the Spirit. This
book is dedicated to you. May your dreams live on.
Readers, please sign an organ donor card—and let your loved ones know you have
decided to do so. Share your life. It is the last and greatest gift you can give back to God
and humanity.
Contents
Cover
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Introduction Why Another Book on Negotiation?
PART I The Skillful Negotiator
1 What Is Negotiation
2 Negotiation’s Four Possible Outcomes
3 The Three Critical Elements:
Time, Information, and Power
4 Questioning Skills:
How to Uncover Your Counterpart’s Needs
5 Listening Skills:
A Powerful Key to Successful Negotiating
6 Nonverbal Behavior:
The Language of Negotiating
7 Building Trust in Negotiation
8 Sharks, Carp, and Dolphins:
Your Negotiating Counterparts
9 The Role of Negotiating Styles
10 Preparing to Negotiate
PART II 101 Tactics for Successful Negotiation
Index of Tactics