The Office Romance: Playing With Fire Without Getting Burned

660 Pages·1998·1.44 MB·English

by  Dennis M. Powers

The Office Romance : Playing With Fire
title:
Without Getting Burned
author: Powers, Dennis M.
publisher: AMACOM Books
isbn10 | asin: 0814404642
print isbn13: 9780814404645
ebook isbn13: 9780585199016
language: English
subject Sex in the workplace.
publication date: 1999
lcc: HF5549.5.S45P69 1999eb
ddc: 331.2
subject: Sex in the workplace.
Page iii
The Office Romance
Playing with Fire without Getting Burned
Dennis M. Powers
American Management Association
New York Atlanta Boston Chicago Kansas City San Francisco Washington, D.C.
Brussels Mexico City Tokyo Toronto
Page iv
This book is available at a special discount when
ordered in bulk quantities. For information, contact
Special Sales Department, AMACOM, a division of
American Management Association, 1601 Broadway,
New York, NY 10019.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative
information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the
understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal,
accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other
expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional
person should be sought.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Powers, Dennis M.
The office romance: playing with fire without getting burned / Dennis
M. Powers.
p. cm.
Includes index and bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-8144-0464-2 (alk. paper)
1. Sex in the workplace. I. Title.
HF5549.5.S45P69 1998
331.2dc21 98-27074
CIP
© 1999 Dennis M. Powers
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
This publication may not be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in whole or in part,
in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,
without the prior written permission of AMACOM,
a division of American Management Association,
1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
Printing number
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Page v
To my wife, Judy,
Whose independence, love of life, and presence
Has made the difference in my life.
Page vii
Contents
Preface xv
Acknowledgments xix
Chapter 1 1
The Matchmaker
Karen and Frank 2
Some More 3
What's Really Going On at Work 5
It's about Relationships 5
Why Romance Thrives 6
But What about Sexual Harassment? 7
Pro-Interactive or Not? 9
The New Rules of Romance 12
Joint Partnering 13
When Good Things Come to an End 14
When Good Things Continue 15
Then There Are the Attorneys 16
What's a Company to Do? 18
Chapter 2 21
Close Encounters of a Natural Kind
Why? 21
All the Work-Related Romances 24
Women Have Changed the Rules 25
Roberta 27
It's about Friendships and Relationships 28
It Happens to the Best of Them 28
The Pluses of Office Relationships 29
Page viii
Chapter 3 31
But What If?
What the Surveys Say 32
The Motives Are Important 33
It Depends on Where You Are 34
The Major Watch-Out Areas 34
Damaged Professional Reputations 35
Unhappy Coworkers 35
Productivity Changes (Both Yours and Others') 36
Dating the Boss 37
Conflicts of Interest 38
Corporate Game Playing 39
Sexual Harassment Charges 40
Extramarital Affairs 40
The Relationship Doesn't Work Out 41
Factoring in Your Career 41
Making the Decision 42
Chapter 4 44
The Law of Romance
What Is Illegal Sexual Harassment? 44
Quid Pro Quo Harassment 45
Hostile Environment Harassment 46
Other Legal Considerations 49
The Company's Liability (and Its Defense) 51
So What Is Sexual Harassment? 53
People's Reactions Aren't the Same 55
The Fears of Management 56
And Then There's Romance 58
The Law of Romance 58
The Courts 60
The Stages of a Relationship 62
There's Much More Love Than Hate 63
Chapter 5 64
Where Romance Ends and Harassment Begins
The One-Size-Fits-All Problem 64
Persistence or Harassment? 67
Unequal Power, Favoritism, or Just People in Love? 71
Suzanne and Jeffrey 71
Attorney Golden and Anita 72
The Extramarital Affair 72
The Horror Stories 73
Flings and Just Plain Sex 74
Page ix
Despite the Rules, It Still Depends on the Person 75
The Minefield of Legal Rights 76
The Lovers against the Company 76
Right to Prohibit Dating 76
Regulating Married Employees 78
Regulating E-Mail 79
An Ex-Lover against the Company 80
Ex-Lovers against Each Other 80
Coworkers against the Company 80
Third-Party Relationships 81
Professionals and Their Clients 82
Educational Institutions 84
Where Do You Go? 85
The Buck Stops Here 85
Inside and Outside the Company 86
Men on the Other Side 87
When the Accused Fights Back 88
How Do the Sexes Differ? 90
What about Cultural Differences? 91
Chapter 6 93
How Cold's the Climate?
The Corporate Climate 94