The Observer Magazine - 19 June 2022

42 Pages·2022·29 MB·English

The Observer Magazine
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19 JUNE 2022
The Observer Magazine
30
In this
issue
Up front
5 Eva Wiseman Finding an oasis of calm
in a post-holiday meltdown airport.
Plus, the Observer archive
7 This much I know Singer Peter Andre
Features
8 Rom’s com How maths teacher Romesh
Ranganathan fell in love with comedy –
and brought his family on the journey
22 14 Wing command Meet the corvid expert
whose remarkable aviary is under threat
18 ‘People said I was scary’ ActorMonica
Dolan on evil women and adorable dogs
Food & drink
22 Nigel Slater Marvellous midsummer
recipes with artichokes and cherries
26 Rev Richard Coles A remote seafood
favourite in the Scottish Highlands.
Plus, posh plonk for every occasion
Fashion
28 Notebook Western style or ditsy print,
18 summer blouses to wear this summer
LALALA Beauty
NININI
A A A 29 Bright and beautiful Beat dull skin
M; M;RIRIRI
COCOMAMAMA 36 with our top 10 of the best exfoliators
O.O.G G G
HOHOSINSINSIN Interiors
CCUUU
MYMYTS TS TS 30 Natural selection From woven lamps
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5, JIJIEEESE to comfy armchairs, rattan is back
2R
ALS, £6NE REP G31a Srmdeanll swonders Create your own mini
DO
ANAT paradise with miniature alpine plants
M); SELL Travel
OW
N.CAX 33 Tranquil times Avoid the crowds at
OM
HID these top 10 islands off the beaten track
SA
HESFAAIR CH Self & wellbeing
ATCY; H 36 Finding his feet Learning to be a dad
MT turned one man’s life around
N (AU
GTOM BE Ask Philippa
LINHA 33 38 The dilemma “My husband is having
RK
6AEC an affair.” Plus, Sunday with Kit de Waal
OTH 1RIA B
BO
350, VICT
RS, £SING Contributors Rebecca Nicholson London-born and raised, the Th e Observer
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MOMA reviewer (p26). her husky, Velma (p12). Palace (p12). Alex Lake
The Observer Magazine 19.06.22 3

Up front
Eva
Wiseman
Stuck for hours at an
airport, a curious air
of calm descends…
 @evawiseman
I
was in a really bad place last weekend. Not wisdom. “What are you in reality? You must not pass into
mentally – I was in an airport Starbucks slumped a dream, but accept your limitations and then express
against a wall. It wasn’t until we’d sat in the them in your life, in your behaviour, your identity. You
departure hall for many hours, our two small must talk the truth about yourself. Otherwise, life is
children seeing in midnight as the rooms slowly just a waste of time, isn’t it?” Well, yes. And who I am,
fi lled with hundreds of humans and their thousands it turned out, was a person who fi nds calmness not on
of i Pads before I realised, with a thrill, that I was inside the stones of a Greek beach in June, nor in the sea, but
a news story. slumped against a wall in an airport Starbucks.
It’s a very particular kind of sweet-and-sour I was not the only one. Everywhere, people smiled
excitement, isn’t it, when you look up from your their grim little smiles, and budged up to make room,
own personal catastrophe and realise you’re part of and kept their voices down as toddlers slept in starfi sh
love music and be something bigger ? The dullest, most irritating moments shapes across jumpers on the fl oor. There was a polite
From the knowledgeable about of your life are suddenly polished to a high shine and crowd around the phone-charging hub, but it had the
it. And you have to love spotlit beautifully. Stories that, from your mouth would feel of a group of fans waiting for Kylie rather than the
archive and be knowledgeable have had friends politely smothering yawns after expected scrum. When we fi nally arrived back in the UK
about newspapers and 30 seconds become whole newspaper spreads, with at 4am, wheeling our bodies through passport control,
A look back magazines… enthusiasm expert quotes, and panoramic pictures, and someone we found a quiet queue of hundreds of holiday-makers
is everything and explaining earnestly how they wee-ed in a cup. on the other side waiting to check in, lined up along the
at the Observer
phoneyness is nothing.’ I’m not talking major tragedies here, I’m talking length of the airport in an area intended for Ukrainian
Magazine’s past At No 12 on the list, ‘the your common domestic shitteries that disturb Britain’s refugees. “Welcome!” the sign said awkwardly, to a pink-
indie kings of comedy’ plodding peace to the extent that it makes the papers. cowboy-hatted hen party.
Steve Coogan and Henry I’m talking about the times, say, when you turn on the We arrivals weaved our way through those departing
Normal were riding high, car radio and learn that you’re sitting in a traffi c jam with duty-free apologies, some jealousy. It was partly
Th e music PR legend producing a raft of television “the length of Wales”, or your little town is experiencing exhaustion, yes, but there was also some gentle brand
Barbara Charone was on programmes. With their the hottest day in 100 years, or you fi nd yourself at the of humanness to the airport peace – a teenage boy
the cover of the Observer company Baby Cow, very end of an NHS waiting list for your ear, or you can popping to WHSmith to get a drink for an elderly
Magazine of 22 June 2008 they vowed only to make no longer afford pasta because of something to do with woman who saved his space, did I want to sit down with
along with her business programmes that they’d wheat. So it came to be that my family and I, returning the baby they’d make some room, everyone tiptoeing
partner Moira Bellas and watch themselves and from our fi rst holiday in three years, found ourselves around a man snoring very loudly by a cash dispenser.
their clients Mark Ronson back then it was Gavin & among the thousands of Britons stuck at an airport due As we stepped into the chilly dawn I felt that thrill
and Rufus Wainwright, Stacy, Th e Mighty Boosh, to “travel chaos” from worker shortages. again – we’d gone on holiday, but come back news.
as part of its list of Nighty Night and Saxondale. We’d had a lovely holiday, though by that point we did I saw a photographer standing by Marks & Spencer
the ‘20 most powerful ‘A Baby Cow production have to keep reminding ourselves of the fact. Despite documenting the gentle chaos, and, shifting the sleeping
celebrity makers’. is not only funny, but also having swum in the sea that very morning, by 1am I was baby to my shoulder, waved at him as if the queen. ■
Th at year alone we edgy, experimental and hazy on whether I had been anywhere else, ever, beyond
credited Charone with the clever,’ we said. At No 1, of this bank of plastic seats. I was born here many hours I’m reading Sam Knight’s
return of Madonna and course, was artist manager ago, and here is where I grew up, on the tiled fl oor by One more new book about
her album Hard Candy, the Simon Fuller of Spice Girls gate 5a, and here is where we ate our meals of cereal psychiatrist John Barker,
revival of Neil Diamond, and Pop Idol infamy, not that bars and Chupa Chups, and here is where we tended to thing… who established the
the launch of Duff y and he personally sought the each other’s illnesses and minor deaths. Despite the new Premonitions Bureau in
the elevation of Ronson limelight. ‘Th ere is no upside chill of being among a maskless crowd, everybody was the 1960s. Among his
from ‘expat gadabout to fame I can think of,’ he surprisingly well behaved. Even when it was announced ‘percipients’ were two
DJ into Brit-winning said. ‘It’s so weird... in the that all Manchester fl ights were cancelled, and our seat who predicted plane
platinum-selling artist’. modern world, celebrity is neighbours (who’d been waiting for seven hours ) started crashes, assassinations
Charone was born in even aff orded to business to gather their bags, rather than anger or panic, there was and international incidents
Chicago, but moved to people. To Simon Cowell, for a resigned serenity, all very “oh well”. I was impressed. before informing Barker that
London where she was chrissakes!’ Chris Hall You always think (I always think) that a holiday will I’ve been saying it for a while he was about to die. Eerie
a music journalist at NME, be about cleansing your mind of worries and nonsense, and now (in Italy anyway) and fascinating.
Sounds and Rolling Stone, an idea amplifi ed by lockdowns in a house with a bolshy there’s proof – smoking is
before moving into PR at little family mentally bruised after too much TV. Not back. Smoking there has Paula Rego’s recent death
Warner Brothers Records. only would my mind be reset, refreshed, but my entire risen to its highest level in sent me s pinning back to
She wrote the authorised family dynamic, too – no more petty rows about teeth, almost two decades. On telly, the day I spent with her
biography of Keith Richards or whinging about who took whose felt tip – we would in the UK, gorgeous girls in her studio, among the
in 1979 and this week she see the sea, and smell the heat and then a great calm are smoking in Everything dolls and costumes and oil
publishes her own memoir would fall upon us. I forgot, of course, that wherever I Know About Love, and t he pastels and dried fl owers .
N of half a decade in the we go, there we are. In the airport trying to shush the smell of cigarettes fi lls the Above us in the rafters was
E
S music business. baby, I read a quote from Quentin Crisp. “You have to air in a way I haven’t noticed a mezzanine where she
N
HA What was her secret, we know who you are, who you think you are, who your since I was a teenager. could nap in the afternoon.
L
PÅ asked . ‘It’s essential you neighbours think you are,” he said, in all his fabulous No judgment; carry gum. Rest in peace.
The Observer Magazine 19.06.22 5

Up front
Interview NICK McGRATH
Photograph DAVID LEVENE

Growing up in Surfers Paradise was
bittersweet. I was born in England, then
moved to Australia when I was six. The
Gold Coast was paradise. It was also
tough – we were the only ethnic family
there [Andre is of Greek Cypriot descent],
so we were outcasts. I got beaten, because
I stood out like a sore thumb. I had curly
hair, a big nose and an English accent.
Australia’s a very different place
today and I love it with all my heart. It’s
multicultural. I think people do change.
It’s the ones who don’t that I have
a problem with.
I was determined to make it in
Britain. By 27, I’d achieved my ambition of
selling out Wembley Arena. That’s when
the problems started – that had been my
goal since the age of 13 and I didn’t know
what to do next. I returned to Australia to
see my parents, and everything imploded.
I had a breakdown in my late
20s. I went to therapists, I went on
medications, I saw doctors at hospitals.
I think a lot of it had to do with the hatred
thrown at us, and being too scared to tell
Mum and Dad because they took us to
Australia for a better life. They never knew.
My family is everything to me. I’m
one of six, my dad was one of 17 – family
is at the heart of all I do. To me, family is
safety and calmness. And food.
The second I had a child everything
This
changed for me, and I’ve never taken
anything for granted since. Those years
between my breakdown and having my
fi rst child, Junior, taught me a lot. One
day I prayed: “Please, if there’s a God, much
g et me through this day.” They were
dark days. When I made it through,
I remember thinking: “Right, I’m just
lucky to be alive.”
I know
If you’d asked my children a couple
of years ago what sort of a dad I was,
they’d have said I was extremely strict,
but I think they’d say I’ve since softened
a little. I still have fi rm boundaries for
them, though. Certain non-negotiables, Peter Andre, singer, 49
for example drugs, and not hurting
people. My dad used to say, “Don’t make
the same mistakes, make new ones.”
People say I’m ultra-nice, but
I sometimes need an hour to myself.
I never get upset, I just don’t talk –
you can’t get a word out of me. If I get
agitated, I’ll go to the gym and it passes.
If I was remembered as a really
nice bloke, I’d be content. A lot of people
come and go in this world and they’re not
remembered at all, so to be remembered
as someone good? I’ll take that.
I used to get girls at my concerts
screaming, “I love you!” Now I get girls at
my concerts saying, “My nan loves you.”
Times have changed; it’s very humbling. ■
Peter Andre plays Vince Fontaine in
Grease The Musical ( greasemusical.co.uk )
The Observer Magazine 19.06.22 7
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PortraitsALEX LAKE
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