The Narcissism Recovery Workbook: Skills for Healing from Emotional Abuse

146 Pages·2021·3.494 MB·English

by  Brenda Stephens MS LPCC

THE NARCISSISM
RECOVERY WORKBOOK

T H E
SKILLS FOR
HEALING FROM
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
N A R C I S S I S M
R E C O V E R Y
W O R K B O O K
Brenda Stephens, MS, LPCC
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To my children, Elissa and Ian, you are my everything.

Contents
Introduction ix
PART ONE: UNDERSTANDING NARCISSISM 1
Chapter 1: What Is Narcissism? 3
Chapter 2: Uncovering the Narcissist 13
PART TWO: THE STAGES OF RECOVERY 23
Chapter 3: Start with Acknowledgment and Acceptance 25
Chapter 4: Boost Your Self-Love, Self-Compassion, and Self-Esteem 43
Chapter 5: Establish Clear Boundaries 61
PART THREE: HEALING TAKES TIME 79
Chapter 6: Nurture Healthy Relationships 81
Chapter 7: Self-Care Comes First 99
A Final Word 125
Resources 126
References 127
Index 129

Introduction
I would like to welcome you to this workbook. It takes courage to face painful experiences, and
I hope that you’ll take a moment to be proud of your choice to start your recovery.
My name is Brenda Stephens, and I am a licensed clinical counselor who has helped many
clients on their journey in recovering from narcissistic abuse. I also train other therapists to
recognize and understand this unique and insidious type of abuse. This book draws from my
professional knowledge as well as my own experience in relationships with narcissists, which I
talk more about on page 27.
Most likely, when you have tried to explain the abusive behavior you have endured with
the narcissist in your life, it’s hard to express the nuances of their disrespectful and abusive
treatment. This lack of understanding and awareness by others can leave you feeling alone
and unsupported. Without the help from someone who has lived through narcissistic abuse
themselves, your journey toward recovery might feel like a lonely, difficult pursuit. This book is
intended to show you that you are not alone. Many people have experienced narcissistic abuse
and thankfully, more people are starting to grasp what it is.
We are beginning to understand that narcissism runs on a spectrum. We have a better
understanding that there are covert narcissists, who seem shy or self-deprecating—traits we
would not think would apply to someone with narcissistic tendencies. We’re also recognizing
that narcissists can hold positions in the community that appear to be selfless or charitable, but
are actually motivated by a need for attention and praise. When you are in a personal, romantic,
familial, or professional relationship with a narcissist, you see the real person.
This book will help you discover that it’s not necessary for other people to see the narcissist
in your life the same way you see them. You’ll learn to radically accept that the narcissist will
do whatever they must do to find their audience of admirers and will likely move from person to
person, social circle to social circle, as they find new sources of supply of attention, burn them
out, then move on again.
This workbook is designed to help you understand what a narcissist is, the differences
between different types of narcissists, and how they got to be the way they are. You’ll be able
to identify the vulnerabilities you carry that have made you a target to a narcissist. Those of us
who have been in relationships with narcissists often discover that we have had more than one
in our life, like we have a magnetic draw to them, or them to us. We often feel that we are more
sensitive or empathic than others, which can seem like a beacon that draws a narcissist to us.
Through the exercises and practices in this book, you’ll learn to build effective boundaries,
care for yourself, and learn to trust your instincts when the wrong person tries to enter your life.
You will learn that the boundaries you set for yourself are the strongest tool you will have in
creating and maintaining healthy relationships.
ix