The marriage of your dreams : a woman's guide to understanding her man

208 Pages·2012·1.31 MB·English

by  Johnson

© 2012 by Rick Johnson
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2012
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ISBN 978-1-4412-3884-9
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To Tudi, still
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
The Woman of His Dreams 9
1. What’s with His Mother Anyway? 13
2. His Father 31
3. His Relationships 49
4. His Communication 65
5. His Work 83
6. His Sexuality 99
7. His Need for Respect and Admiration 115
8. His Odds of Meeting Your Expectations 133
9. His Emotions 147
10. His Desires in a Wife 163
11. His Cheating Heart 179
12. His Needs of His Woman 195
Conclusion 211
Acknowledgments 213
Notes 215
About the Author
Other books by Rick Johnson
Back Ads
Back Cover
After he disconnected from Adrian, he sat there trying to figure out why Kate
was still mad at him. She’d been mad when he first told her he was going to
be gone for a month and wouldn’t tell her why, and he understood that, but
then she came to his house, and she didn’t seem so mad at all, and then for
some reason she got mad all over again, and now she was refusing to talk to
him, and he couldn’t keep up with how her moods kept changing.
The easiest way to understand it, he guessed, was to not bother trying, to
recognize the obvious fact that women were different from men, and to keep
in mind that he, Stonewall Jackson Calhoun, did not understand them, and
he just had to accept it. Women didn’t think like men, they didn’t have the
same emotions as men, they didn’t behave like men. They didn’t love the way
men did, either.
Calhoun loved women—or at least, he loved Kate Balaban—but he had no
idea what made her tick. In fact, he was in awe of her. She was utterly
unpredictable, and as far as he was concerned, that made her endlessly
fascinating.
Now she’d decided not to talk to him, and there was no sense in trying to
figure out why, because the reason was buried somewhere in that
inscrutable woman-ness that he loved about her but that sometimes
frustrated him beyond tolerance.
Excerpt from Dark Tiger[1]
The Woman of His
Dreams
T
he idea for this book stemmed from several women asking for a
book similar to my book on authentic masculinity, The Power of
a Man. They wanted to know how to be the best wife possible
and how to best meet the needs of their husbands (many of
whom were unable or unwilling to articulate their needs and
desires to their wives). They wanted to know what men really
need and want from a wife so they can fulfill those
expectations. They said most books only address the physical
aspects of a woman that are attractive to a man. They felt they
could not live up to that “Barbie” factor and so were
discouraged. Instead of guessing, they wanted to understand a
“standard” that men have of women. They wanted to know
(from a man) all the things that are attractive in a woman and
what a man needs or expects from a wife. After all, if you don’t
know what is expected of you how are you supposed to meet
those expectations? I think many women feel like they are
playing a losing game in this arena.
As usual when I write books for women, I asked a large
number of females for their input. I was curious about what
they wanted to know most about men. I surveyed a wide range
of women, both young and mature, married and single. I talked
to women from as many races, religions, and backgrounds as I
could. These women were surprisingly (even shockingly) open
about the questions they had regarding men (you’ll see some of
their questions with my answers at the end of each chapter). I
also surveyed a number of men—particularly about their
relationship with their mothers, which seems to be a topic most
women are interested in.
I received quite a number of responses from women who feel
the way this woman does:
This particular topic—although probably needed—does not appeal to me and in
fact seems demeaning to women. If the church weren’t so busy telling wives that
“they need to please their man” maybe the men would need to stop being so
spoiled and blaming their wives for their own poor communication skills and
simplistic approach to life.
Hmmm, I wonder what she really thinks? But I believe she has
a valid point, at least in some regard.
I also received just as many responses from women at the
other end of the spectrum who feel like this woman:
I really wish women could just get over themselves. The world doesn’t revolve
around us, and maybe instead of unloading all of our blah-blah-blah on our
husbands, who aren’t equipped to handle that sort of mass “woman-formation,”
we should meditate and learn how to quiet our minds and save our need to
“emotionally vomit” for our girlfriends. Then we’d be more apt to put on
something sexy and meet our man at the door at the end of the day than to
unload on him and then freak out that he doesn’t understand what’s going on.
I’m not sure that those radically diverse answers were
specifically helpful, but they did confirm to me how
complicated women are regarding most issues, including this
one.
I know some of you are thinking, “Not another book on what
men need! I spend my whole day meeting the needs of other
people. What about my needs? When is someone going to write
a book about what I need?” Believe me I sympathize with you. I
realize the brunt of nourishing families and maintaining
relationships falls upon women. I also know that men in
general tend to be a bit self-focused or even selfish. I
acknowledge that this is a heavy burden and that without
women there would be no civilization (in fact, no human race at
all). But women have been uniquely qualified and gifted to be
able to meet these challenges. Part of what makes this
responsibility easier is understanding your motivations and the
expectations of those whose lives you fulfill and complete.