The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want PDF
Preview The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want
The How of Happiness The How of Happiness A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D. THE PENGUIN PRESS New York 2008 THE PENGUIN PRESS Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A. • Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) • Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England • Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) • Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) • Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi–110 017, India • Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) • Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England First published in 2007 by The Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © Sonja Lyubomirsky, 2007 All rights reserved Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint “The Journey” from Dream Work by Mary Oliver. Copyright © 1986 by Mary Oliver. Reprinted by permission of Grove/Atlantic, Inc. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The how of happiness : a scientific approach to getting the life you want / Sonja Lyubomirsky. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN: 978-1-1012-0280-7 1. Happiness. I. Title. BF575.H27L98 2008 2007039942 158—dc22 Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrightable materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. To Gabriella and Alexander, the biggest hows behind my happiness THE JOURNEY One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice— though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do— determined to save the only life that you could save. —Mary Oliver CONTENTS Foreword Part One How to Attain Real and Lasting Happiness 1. Is It Possible to Become Happier? A Program for Lasting Happiness Do You Know What Makes You Happy? Discovering the Real Keys to Happiness The Most Rewarding “Work” You’ll Ever Do Why Be Happy? 2. How Happy Are You and Why? Where Do You Fit In? Happiness Myths The Limits of Life Circumstances The Happiness Set Point The Promise of Intentional Activity Conclusion 3. How to Find Happiness Activities That Fit Your Interests, Your Values, and Your Needs Three Ways That Strategies Can Fit Corniness, Again Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic P.S. More Options Final Words Part Two Happiness Activities Foreword to Part Two: Before You Begin 4. Practicing Gratitude and Positive Thinking Happiness Activity No. 1: Expressing Gratitude Happiness Activity No. 2: Cultivating Optimism Happiness Activity No. 3: Avoiding Overthinking and Social Comparison 5. Investing in Social Connections Happiness Activity No. 4: Practicing Acts of Kindness Happiness Activity No. 5: Nurturing Social Relationships 6. Managing Stress, Hardship, and Trauma Happiness Activity No. 6: Developing Strategies for Coping Happiness Activity No. 7: Learning to Forgive 7. Living in the Present Happiness Activity No. 8: Increasing Flow Experiences Happiness Activity No. 9: Savoring Life’s Joys Final Words 8. Happiness Activity No. 10: Committing to Your Goals Six Benefits of Committed Goal Pursuit What Kinds of Goals Should You Pursue? Recommendations for Committed Goal Pursuit 9. Taking Care of Your Body and Your Soul Happiness Activity No. 11: Practicing Religion and Spirituality Happiness Activity No. 12: Taking Care of Your Body (Meditation) Happiness Activity No. 12: Taking Care of Your Body (Physical Activity) Happiness Activity No. 12: Taking Care of Your Body (Acting Like a Happy Person) Part Three Secrets to Abiding Happiness 10. The Five Hows Behind Sustainable Happiness The First How: Positive Emotion
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