The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star

449 Pages·2008·6.59 MB·English

by  Nikki Sixx

T H D
HE EROIN IARIES
POCKET BOOKS,
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Copyright © 2007 by Nikki Sixx
“Welcome to My Nightmare” copyright 1975 Sony/ATV Songs LLC, Ezra
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and Ezra Music administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing, 8 Music Square
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This book and journey is
dedicated to all the alcoholics
and drug addicts who have had the
courage to face their demons
and to pass on the message
that there is hope and light
at the end of the tunnel.
I never thought Nikki Sixx would live beyond third Mötley Crüe People
like me, Bowie John were professional than us–he used needles, which we never
Nikki went further Jim Morrison well and lot of him. When Jim weren’t shocked
because shocked that he had the album. and Elton abusers but we dared to do. I
knew Nikki reminded me a died at twenty-seven, he had died; we were got that
far in the first place.
—Alice Cooper
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to extend a huge French kiss and a super-sized thank you to the
players who had the moxie to tell their side of this dark and sometimes
tasteless story. In not knowing whether the outcome would be spectacular or
disastrous, you still rose to the challenge without fear. Your insight and
truth helped create this book, which I hope paints a fuller picture of
addiction.
To Ian, who hounded, pushed and coaxed me to stay on the path of truth
and discovery, and who did thankless hours of research and interviews to
fill in the gaps in my scribblings. Thank you, Ian. Your talent and passion
speak volumes in this book.
And to those of you who didn’t have the balls or courage to return calls or
emails, or out and out just lied and said “OK” but then went underground
thinking being in this book might “tarnish your image.” It’s clearer to me
now more than ever why you are who you are in life–and that is simply
spineless.
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A SHORT MEDICAL DICTIONARY
A SHORT ALTERNATIVE MEDICAL DICTIONARY WITH DR.
LEMUEL PILLMEISTER
KEY PLAYERS IN THESE TORRID TALES (OTHERWISE KNOWN AS
PARTNERS-IN-CRIME)
INTRODUCTION
MERRY CHRISTMAS, WELL, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE SAY AT
CHRISTMAS, RIGHT?
ONE COULD SAY THAT I’VE BEEN HAVING A 10CC LOVE AFFAIR
WHEN I’M LOSING MY MIND, THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE
ME IS HEROIN.
BLOOD WAS SPURTING ALL OVER THE CLOSET…AND I WAS JUST
SLAMMING THE DRUGS ANYPLACE UNDER MY SKIN PRAYING
THEY WOULD TAKE THE PAIN AWAY…
DOES MY ILLNESS HANG DFE DF ME LIKE A FUCKING SMELL?
HE ASKED ME TO GET ON MY KNEES AND PRAY TO GOD TO LOSE
THIS OBSESSION WITH DRUGS
MAYBE HAVING THESE DEALERS FOLLOW US IS A BAD IDEA
A HEAD-ON COLLISION WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN YET I WAS TOO
STUBBORN TO TAKE A HINT
THIS HAS BECOME THE AIRPORT BLOWOOB TOUR
PRETTY GOOD SHOW CONSIDERING THE SQUIRRELS AND ICE
CREAM TRUCKS
I’M OVER DRUGS AND I KNOW THEY'RE OVER ME…
DRUGS MAKE IT BETTER-DRUGS MAKE IT WORSE
P.S. I DIDN’T TELL ANYBODY I SCORED A BALLOON OF PERSIAN
…HE SAYS IF YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR WAYS YOU WONT LIVE
UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR
THAT'S NOT VERY ROCK 'N' ROLL, IS IT?
A Short Medical Dictionary
Definitions from wikipedia.org
addiction ( -d k'sh n) n.
A compulsion to repeat a behavior regardless of its consequences. A person who
is addicted is sometimes called an addict.
The term addiction describes a chronic pattern of behavior that continues despite
the direct or indirect adverse consequences that result from engaging in the
behavior. It is quite common for an addict to express the desire to stop the
behavior, but find himself unable to cease. Addiction is often characterized by a
craving for more of the drug or behavior, increased physiological tolerance to
exposure and withdrawal symptoms in the absence of the stimulus. Many drugs
and behaviors that provide either pleasure or relief from pain pose a risk of
addiction or dependency.
alcoholism ( l'k -hô-l z' m,-h -) n.
A term that describes the excessive, and often chronic, consumption of alcohol.
Among the characteristics of alcoholism are compulsion and addiction. It can
also be characterized as an illness or allergy, and many believe it to be a
biological disease.
cocaine (k -k n', k 'k n') n.
Cocaine is a crystalline tropane alkaloid that is obtained from the leaves of the
coca plant. It is a stimulant of the central nervous system and an appetite
suppressant, creating what has been described as a euphoric sense of happiness
and increased energy. Cocaine is highly addictive, and its possession, cultivation
and distribution is illegal for non-medicinal/non-government-sanctioned
purposes in virtually all parts of the world.
depression (d -pr sh' n) n.
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the
point of being disruptive to an individual’s social functioning and/or activities of
daily living. Although a mood characterized by sadness is often colloquially
referred to as depression, clinical depression is something more than just a
temporary state of sadness. Symptoms lasting two weeks or longer, and of a
severity that begins to interfere with typical social functioning and /or activities
of daily living, are considered to constitute clinical depression.
Clinical depression affects about 16 percent of the population on at least one
occasion in their lives. The mean age of onset, from a number of studies, is in
the late twenties. Clinical depression is currently the leading cause of disability
in the United States as well as in other countries, and is expected to become the
second leading cause of disability worldwide (after heart disease) by the year
2020.
heroin (h r' - n) n.
A semi-synthetic opioid. It is the 3.6-diacetyl derivative of morphine (hence
diacetylmorphine) and is synthesized from it by acetylation. The white
crystalline form is commonly the hydrochloride salt, diacetylmorphine
hydrochloride. It is highly addictive when compared to other substances. A few
of the popular street names for heroin include dope, diesel, smack, scag and H.
psychosis (s -k 's s) n.
A generic psychiatric term for a mental state in which thought and perception are
severely impaired. Persons experiencing a psychotic episode may experience
hallucinations, hold delusional beliefs (e.g., paranoid delusions), demonstrate
personality changes and exhibit disorganized thinking. This is often
accompanied by lack of insight into the unusual or bizarre nature of such
behavior, difficulties with social interaction and impairments in carrying out the
activities of daily living. A psychotic episode is often described as involving a
“loss of contact with reality.”