The Happiness Effect: How Social Media is Driving a Generation to Appear Perfect at Any Cost

369 Pages·2017·2.75 MB·English

by  Donna Freitas

i
T H E H A P P I N E S S   E F F E C T

iii
T H E
H A P P I N E S S
E F F E C T
HOW SOCIAL MEDIA IS DRIVING
A GENER ATION TO APPE A R
PERFECT AT ANY COST
D ONN A F REITA S
foreword by christian smith
1
1
Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. It furthers
the University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education
by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of Oxford University
Press in the UK and certain other countries.
Published in the United States of America by Oxford University Press
198 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10016, United States of America.
© Donna Freitas 2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in
a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the
prior permission in writing of Oxford University Press, or as expressly permitted
by law, by license, or under terms agreed with the appropriate reproduction
rights organization. Inquiries concerning reproduction outside the scope of the
above should be sent to the Rights Department, Oxford University Press, at the
address above.
You must not circulate this work in any other form
and you must impose this same condition on any acquirer.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Freitas, Donna, author.
Title: The happiness effect : how social media is driving a generation to
appear perfect at any cost / Donna Freitas ; foreword by Christian Smith.
Description: Oxford ; New York : Oxford University Press, [2016] | Includes
bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016009997 (print) | LCCN 2016016495 (ebook) |
ISBN 9780190239855 (cloth : alk. paper) | ISBN 9780190239862 (updf) |
ISBN 9780190239879 (epub)
Subjects: LCSH: Internet and youth. | Social media—Psychological aspects. |
Youth—Social life and customs.
Classification: LCC HQ799.2.I5 F745 2016 (print) | LCC HQ799.2.I5 (ebook) |
DDC 004.67/80835—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016009997
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed by Sheridan Books, Inc., United States of America
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This book is dedicated to Katie, Andleeb, Ozzie,
Cristianna, and Dion, the extraordinary students in
my Hofstra memoir seminar. You struggled together
to think about the biggest and most important of
life’s questions with openness and honesty, and
allowed me to be present for this. You made me
laugh and reflect and wonder at my luck in having
you all in class. I am so proud of everything that
you’ve become.

vii
contents
Foreword  ix
Preface  xiii
Introduction: Masters of Happiness  1
1. Is Everybody Hanging Out Without
Me? Comparing Ourselves to Others
and the Importance of Being “Liked” 16
2. The Professionalization of Facebook:
(And Why Everyone Should Keep Their
Opinions to Themselves)  43
3. My Name Is My Brand and My Brand
Is Happiness!  63
4. The Selfie Generation: Why Social Media Is
More of a “Girl Thing” 81
5. Performing for God: Religion On (and Off)
Social Media  104
6. Virtual Playgrounds: The Rise of Yik Yak,
the Joys of Snapchat, and Why Anonymity
Is Just So Liberating 124
7. An Acceptable Level of Meanness: The
Bullies, the Bullied, and the Problem
of Vulnerability  143
8. So You Wanna Make That
Facebook Official?  172
9. The Ethics of Sexting: Tinder, Dating,
and the Promise of Mutually
Assured Destruction  192
10. My Smartphone and Me: A Love- Hate
Relationship  209
11. Taking a Timeout from the
Timeline: Students Who Quit Social
Media and Why  231
Conclusion: Virtues for a Generation
of Social Media Pioneers  250
Taking Control of Our Smartphones: How
Student Affairs Professionals, Faculty,
and Parents Can Help Young Adults Feel
Empowered with Respect to Social Media
and Their Devices 269
Acknowledgments  283
Appendix: Methodology  285
Notes  301
Index  333
viii contents
ix
foreword
Margaret has to avoid Facebook because seeing how happy everyone else
appears online makes her unhappy by comparison. Rob gets a call from
a friend asking him to “Like” his new Facebook photo to save him from
the possibility of it not being liked enough. Michael felt lonely because he
spent most of high school trying to impress people on social media rather
than spending time with his friends. These are just a few of the people you
will meet in this book. And it is tempting to ask: What’s the matter with
kids today?
Everybody knows that the digital communications revolution— the
Internet, social media, smartphones, online dating, and more— is trans-
forming our society. But nobody really knows yet how these technological
innovations are changing us and our ways of life— possibly including our
very sense of self— and just how far it will go. We have lived long enough
with this revolution by now to know that it is truly revolutionary, not a
superficial phase. But we have not lived with it long enough to know what
it really means for us in the long run.
Everywhere I travel to speak about the lives of youth, I am asked
how the Internet, and social media, and smartphones are changing young
people’s lives— usually, it is suspected, for the worse. Is it making them
less interested in real, face- to- face relationships? Is it turning them into
self- centered egomaniacs? Is it causing them to disconnect from social
institutions, like sports teams and churches? Is it distorting their sense
of morality? As a sociologist, ever attentive to data, I have always had to
answer that I don’t really know, because there wasn’t enough good re-
search available. I think the changes are real and big, I would say, but
beyond that I could only speculate. My answers were always incomplete
and disappointing.