The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing

354 Pages·2004·1.63 MB·English

by  Mary O’Malley

THE GIFT OF OUR
Compulsions

THE GIFT OF OUR
Compulsions
A Revolutionary Approach to
Self-Acceptance and Healing
MARY O’MALLEY
NEW WORLD LIBRARY
NOVATO, CALIFORNIA
New World Library
14Pamaron Way
Novato, California 94949
Copyright © 2004by Mary O’Malley
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored
in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic,
mechanical, or other without written permission from the publisher, except by a
reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
Front cover design by Mary Ann Casler
Text design and typography by Tona Pearce Myers
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
O’Malley, Mary.
The gift of our compulsions : a revolutionary approach to self-acceptance
and healing / Mary O’Malley.— 1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 1-57731-470-0(pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Compulsive behavior. 2. Self-acceptance. 3. Healing. I. Title.
RC533.O436 2004
616.85'84—dc22 2004011494
First printing, October 2004
ISBN 1-57731-470-0
Printed in Canada on 100% postconsumer waste recycled paper
A proud member of the Green Press Initiative
Distributed to the trade by Publishers Group West
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
This book is dedicated to the wellspring of deep wisdom in us all.
May each of us discover its truth, living from its clarity, love,
and support. In this living, the world will be healed.

Contents
Acknowledgments..........................................................................ix
Introduction...................................................................................xi
Part One
The Healing Journey
1. My Journey, Our Journey............................................................5
2. Reconnecting with Yourself.......................................................15
Part Two
Transforming Our Relationship with Compulsions
3. Recognizing Our Compulsions as Friends...............................33
4. Learning to Respond.................................................................41
5. Moving from Management to Engagement.............................51
Part Three
Four Basic Skills for Working with Compulsions
6. Some Fundamentals for Learning the Skills............................75
7. Skill One: Cultivating Curiosity................................................89
8. Skill Two: Loving Ourselves from the Inside Out...................115
9. Skill Three: Opening to Our Breath........................................145
10. Skill Four: Coming Home to Ourselves..................................161
Part Four
Treasure Hunting
11. Preparing to Find the Treasure...............................................191
12. The Healing Power of Questions...........................................197
13. Treasure Hunting with Sensations.........................................225
14. Treasure Hunting with Feelings.............................................245
15. Treasure Hunting with Compulsions....................................273
Conclusion: Coming Full Circle..................................................301
Appendix: Handy Reference Guide to Skills and Techniques...305
Notes.............................................................................................315
Resources......................................................................................319
Index.............................................................................................321
About the Author..........................................................................335
Acknowledgments
Abook is a living process funneled through the mind and heart of
the author, with much assistance from many different direc-
tions. This was certainly true in the creation of this book. So
many wonderful, committed, and inspired people supported its birth,
and they have my deep gratitude for the parts they played:
MarySue Phillips: the midwifery of your deep wisdom and your
unfailing commitment to this work is appreciated beyond words.
Virginia Howell: your feedback took this book to a whole new level.
Thank you for being there in so many ways.
Vaughan and Lyn Mason: this book wouldn’t have happened with-
out your support in ways that are too numerous to mention.
Nancy Murray: your razor-sharp ability to cut the superfluous parts
in a way I could handle is amazing! I am so glad we are together in this life.
Nancy Hutto, Barb Yamasaki, and Dee Smethurst: your sharp eyes
and understanding of language, along with your resonance with the heart
of this book, brought it to a higher level of clarity and professionalism.
The Compulsion Groups: the feedback you gave after reading the
first draft was invaluable, and I am so thankful you are all in my life.
Mark Ricker and Patrick Hill: you kept me up and running when the
world of computers brought me to my knees!
Mimi Kusch, my manuscript editor at New World Library: to work
with an editor as skilled as you was pure joy. Through your insight and
expertise you simplified, clarified, and enhanced this book. My heart
says thank you.
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