The Genius of Instinct: Reclaim Mother Nature's Tools for Enhancing Your Health, Happiness, Family, and Work

269 Pages·2009·1.136 MB·English

by  Weisinger, Hendrie

The
Genius
of
Instinct
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The
Genius
of
Instinct
Reclaim Mother Nature’s Tools for Enhancing
Your Health, Happiness, Family, and Work
Dr. Hendrie Weisinger
Vice President, Publisher: Tim Moore
Associate Publisher and Director of Marketing: Amy Neidlinger
Acquisitions Editor: Jennifer Simon
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Indexer: Joy Dean Lee
Compositor: Jake McFarland
Manufacturing Buyer: Dan Uhrig
©2009 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Publishing as FT Press
Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458
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Printed in the United States of America
First Printing March 2009
ISBN-10: 0-13-235702-X
ISBN-13: 978-0-13-235702-9
Pearson Education LTD.
Pearson Education Australia PTY, Limited.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Weisinger, Hendrie.
The genius of instinct : reclaim Mother Nature’s tools for enhancing your health, happiness, family,
and work / Hendrie Weisinger.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-13-235702-9 (hardback : alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 0-13-235702-X (hardback : alk. paper) 1. Instinct. 2. Success. 3. Self-help techniques.
I. Title.
BF685.W45 2009
650.1—dc22
2008026767
To Shovi and Mazel, two Hall of Fame
dogs whose play and love inspired this book.
Their barks will live forever.
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Contents
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1
Part I: Shelter Seek…So You Can Find
Your Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Chapter 1: Selecting an Empowering Environment . .11
Your Evolutionary Heritage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Your Environment of Evolutionary
Adaptedness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Surviving More Than Thriving. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Hardwired to Stay. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Beyond Self-Preservation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Chapter 2: The Face of Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17
Emotional Functioning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Functional Distress. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Distress Awareness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Follow Your Emotions, Manage Them Not. . . . . 22
Home Sweet Home. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Chapter 3: Home Hunting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27
Emotional Nutrients. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Contentment Versus Growth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Match Play, Nature’s Course. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Scouting Your Environment. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Sensing the Right Environment. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Chapter 4: Shelter Seeking Today . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37
The Job
Interview/Selection/Promotion/Transfer . . . . . . . 37
College Selection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
viii THEGENIUSOFINSTINCT
Mating: Love and Business. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Empowering Your Environment . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
The Great Escape: Leaving the Nightmare. . . . . 45
The Future of Shelter Seeking. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Part II: Care Solicit…So You Can Protect
Your Vulnerabilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Chapter 5: Protecting Your Vulnerabilities . . . . . . . . . .53
Your Evolutionary Heritage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
911. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
The Cry for Help Gets a Helping Hand. . . . . . . . 54
Vulnerability: Positive Feelings-Not. . . . . . . . . . . 55
Anxiety Disorders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Vulnerability Today. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
The Invulnerability Trap. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Thoughts About Asking. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Chapter 6: The Benefits of Vulnerability . . . . . . . . . . .65
Befriending Your Feelings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Be a Small Risk Taker. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
Reach Out for Help. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
Chapter 7: The Importance of Ghost Busters . . . . . . .71
Building your “A” Team . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Using Your Team. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Team Maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Chapter 8: Care Soliciting Today . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77
Care Soliciting Helps Take the Weight Off . . . . . 77
House Cleaning Bills. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Care Soliciting at Work. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
Building Your Business. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
The Care-Soliciting President. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
There Will Always Be Kryptonite. . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
Why Care Soliciting Works. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
CONTENTS ix
Part III: Care Give…So You Can Develop
the Future. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Chapter 9: Developing the Future . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .91
Your Evolutionary Heritage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
Designer Genes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
Mother Nature’s Chemistry Course: Female. . . . 92
Mother Nature’s Chemistry Course: Male. . . . . . 93
Chapter 10: I Gave at the Office . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .95
The Anger Excuse. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
No Time to Give . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
It’s Too Much Effort . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
I’ll Help You Lose. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
It Is Expensive. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
Chapter 11: Care Giving Today . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .99
Some of Mother Nature’s Parenting Advice . . . . 99
Love Me Tending, Love Me Sweet . . . . . . . . . . 103
The Care Bear Boss. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Care Giving to Elders. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
“Everyone Is a Critic,” Says Mother Nature . . . 109
Community Caring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
Part IV: Beautify…So You Can Pull People
Toward You. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
Chapter 12: Pulling People Toward You . . . . . . . . . . . .117
Your Evolutionary Heritage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
Beauty Attracts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
Beauty or the Beast?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
It Shouldn’t Matter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Attractiveness Is Physical Attractiveness . . . . . . 120
Unattractively Aware. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121