The Gay Gospel, A Survival Guide For Gay 20Somethings In America Today

252 Pages·2007·1.09 MB·English

by  Zirilli

The Gay Gospel:
A Survival Guide for Gay
20Somethings in America Today
Justin Luke Zirilli
For Boyfriend Joe:
Always and Forever.
Extra Special Thanks
The book you are holding would not have been possible without the help of over
70 people who helped to raise the funds to publish it on Kickstarter. The
following people went above and beyond giving extraordinarily generous
amounts of money to make The Gay Gospel a reality. I owe them many, many
thanks.
Super-Special Thanks goes to the following individuals: Jay Kuo, James Cook,
Josh Bendat, Thomas Lyons, Marc Rayner, Jennifer Dotson, Mike Van Dyke,
Robert Beleson, Rich Reilly, Chris Mix, Brendan Franklin, Colby J. Duhon,
Gregory Dyrsten, Matt John, Anthony Luzzi, Chad Ryan, Jesse “Shameless”
Gilday, Lorenzo Thione, DJ Toomuch Twoface, and Sean Donegan.
Table of Contents
FOREWORD by Michael Musto
INTRODUCTION
THE BOOK OF LOOKING
You Don’t NEED A Boyfriend
You’re Not Even LOOKING For a Boyfriend!
Go After What You Want
The Art of Rejection
Ten Reasons You’ll Be Rejected
Someone For Everyone
Be Bold; Be You
Hardcore Text
Ten Reasons NOT to Go Home with That Guy
We’re ALL Fucked Up
The Ultimate Pick-Up Line
Going Home with a Straight Guy
The Spinning Wheels of Gay Dating
Game Over
To Catch a Catfish
THE BOOK OF DATING
The First Date
Keep It Positive
Find His Flaws… Fast
(Not) Going the Distance
How To Melt A Guy’s Heart with $2
Slow Down!
He’s Definitely Not into You
Eyes on Me!
Title Treatment
THE BOOK OF LOVING
The Cinderella Phase
Moving In
How To Live Together
The Come Down
You Gotta Fight
An Open (or) Shut Case
Abuse is Never Okay
THE BOOK OF BREAKING UP
When It’s (Possibly) Time to Break Up
How To Break Up
How to Get Dumped
How to Get Over Him
THE BOOK OF DOING IT
Safe Vs. Stupid
Gay Sex 101
Top Tactics
Best Bottom Behavior
One Night Only
Friends with Benefits (or Detriments)
Three, Four, or More
Face Your Fetishes
THE BOOK OF PARTYING
Finding the Balance
Doing Drugs
It’s Never Too Late to Irish Exit
Party Pack Mentality
6 Ways to NOT Be A Drunken Mess
The Top 10 Things NOT To Do at The Gay Club
THE BOOK OF LIVING
Come Out, Come Out
Do Something
Work Hard, Dream Hard
Play For Karma
Avoid Unnecessary Conflict
Five Ways to Avoid Drama
Money Really Matters
All in the Family
Judge Not
Conclusion
Afterword
Special Thanks
About the Author
Foreword
By Michael Musto
It’s hard enough to be human let alone gay and in your 20s, and when I found
myself in that very situation some (mutter, mumble, cough) years ago I wished
there had been a Justin Luke guidebook around to tell me how to pull it off. At
twenty I was quite successfully graduating from Columbia College, but I didn’t
know what to do about it! I wanted to be a writer, but there was no journalism
undergrad major offered in my college. Thus I had to major in English literature
reading Jane Austen novels as if that had anything to do with the gossip and
theater reviews I so desperately wanted to indulge in. Fortunately I had already
done pieces not only for the school papers but for outside publications, so I had
my foot in the door of what I considered big-time writing. And having sat in on
some of the Columbia Journalism classes full of pretend press conferences and
pseudo news coverage, I knew that continuing my education would be a
complete waste of time and money. The real world awaited.
But what to do? Well I kept my freelancing going and eventually landed a job at
Ideal, a sleazy company that put out monthly rags with misleading celebrity
headlines full of quote marks within quotation marks. (“Cher ‘Leaves’ Sonny!”
generally meant she left him to go shopping for an hour). I was the managing
editor of one of those publications as well as a soap opera magazine immersing
myself in daytime dramatics I didn’t care about and celebrity goings-on that