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The Gateway looks in as the Bears prepare for action volume Cl number 29 the official student newspaper at the university of alberta www.thegatewayonline.ca thursday, january 27, 2011 omplaints lead to investigation pe cq of Med faculty Beats without AASUA President Donald Heth AARON YEO News Staff confirmed that they will look into the heat allegations regarding the collective The Canadian Association of University agreements. We have three pages of Teachers (CAUT) is launching an “We have a process in which we talk Freezing Man coverage, investigation in response to complaints to the university administration, we about alleged mistreatment of staff in investigate, and we argue on behalf including interviews with the Faculty of Medicine and Dentistry of the welfare of academic staff mem- at the University of Alberta. bers, and there is a process to resolve Kaskade, Dragonette, and CAUT confirmed that they've those [complaints]. And that’s gov- Shout Out Out Out Out. received complaints from faculty mem- erned by our collective agreements.” bers who claim that Dean Philip Baker The university administration will be A&E, PAGE 14-16 has been pressuring professors to aban- distancing itself from the CAUT inves- don tenure tracks and increase research tigations. Provost and Vice President output, while reducing teaching time. (Academic) Carl Amrhein says he will The organization will be working not meet with investigators. Something with the Association of Academic “T don’t think CAUT has any position special is Staff: University of Alberta (AASUA), under the laws of Alberta, or the faculty SAM BROOKS Wildrose wants debt to examine whether or not the collec- agreement between the university and happening at tive agreement between the AASUA the AASUA, to play any role whatso- the Main Gym this year. and the university administration has ever,’ he said. “The faculty agreement been breached. In addition, a com- says unambiguously that the AASUA is We profile the Dynamic forgiveness program mittee from CAUT made up of three the exclusive representative.” Duo of the Golden Bears professors from other universities Amrhein is also confident in the will make two trips to Edmonton to AASUA’s ability to handle the allega- basketball team. investigate other related claims made tions without the help of CAUT. in their announcement, such as the “TThe U of A] is an institution with SPORTS, PAGE 20 allegation that there is a “disrespect a remarkably robust set of problem- JOEL RACKEL to change themselves from within,” for the traditional system of collegial solving procedures,” he explained. News Staff Smith said. governance,” and a “climate of uncer- “We have all the procedures we need, After introductory comments, Smith tainty, mistrust, and fear.” so when any member of the commu- The Wildrose Alliance Party of fielded questions from the audience. nity who feels something is not as it Alberta gave students a chance to Tuition questions were raised, and should be, then they have access to examine the party’s platform during both Smith and Boutilier maintained “I don't think CAUT these procedures.” a 50-minute question-and-answer that their party is adamant on limiting has any position under Amrhein noted that a third party has session at the University of Alberta’s tuition to predictable growth based the laws of Alberta, or only been brought into internal con- SubStage on Tuesday. on inflation and the consumer price flicts four times in the last decade when Party leader Danielle Smith and MLA index. When asked if her party would the faculty agreement a mutual agreement has been made. Guy Boutilier each fielded ques- support completely state-covered [...] to play any role Turk disagreed with Amrhein’s com- tions about issues such as tuition and tuition, as in some European coun- ments, saying he is “disappointed that research funding, as well as more gen- tries, Smith said she would rather have whatsoever.” the administration is taking the posi- eral problems like the environment a debt forgiveness program, reward- tion it is because it’s obstructive.” and Alberta’s economy. ing those who complete degrees and Classmates you CARL AMRHEIN One of Amrhein’s concerns was Smith began with remarks about remain in Alberta. UNIVERSITY PROVOST with the possible disclosure of per- Premier Ed Stelmach’s announcement “We would prefer to help students love to hate sonal information, but Turk was dis- that he would not seek re-election as out at the back end with student loan “Tn the fall of last year, we started satisfied with the provost’s position. leader of the Conservative party, which debt. We would like to be able to help Gateway writers receiving complaints from faculty “What he’s really saying to the fac- had come hours earlier, stating the get people through their program, members in medicine about what they ulty is, ‘you’d better not talk to the Wildrose Alliance does not view the and if you decide to live and work in catalogue the irritating thought were inappropriate things committee because you could be vio- move as significant for a Progressive Alberta, we would have a debt forgive- student stereotypes that happening within their faculty,” said lating the collective agreement, or the Conservative party that has seen its ness program so you can get out of debt James Turk, executive director of freedom of information and protection popularity slide in the last few years. faster and live your lives,” she said. are an epidemic in every CAUT. “AASUA will deal with allega- of privacy act.’ That’s rubbish! Faculty “There are 24 cabinet ministers When asked about funding for class you've ever taken. tions involving [violations of the col- members are perfectly free to talk to that have stood side by side Premier research projects, Smith acknowledged lective agreement]. They have a means [...] anyone about what’s happening in Stelmach, driving this province in the difficulty of finding money for start- OPINION, PAGE 8 to deal with that through grievances their lives at the university.” the wrong direction, and I don’t ups outside of the oil and gas sector. and arbitration.” PLEASESEE MEDICINE * PAGE 2 believe the PCs are going to be able PLEASESEE WILDROSE * PAGE 4 2 NEWS thursday, januar2y7 , 2011 + www.thegatewayonline.ca THE GATEWAY Union will assist with thursday, january 27, 2011 volume Cl number 29 Published since november 21, 1910 ° ° Circulation 8,000 ISSN 0845-356X Suite 3-04 Students’ Union Building University of Alberta MEDICINE * CONTINUED FROM PAGE1 Edmonton, Alberta Turk mentioned that CAUT often T6G 257 conducts three or four investigations Telephone 780.492.5168 at any given moment, but that griev- Fax 780.492.6665 ances of this nature are uncommon. Ad Inquiries 780.492.6700 Email [email protected] “Quite frequently, weve dealing with the situation of a particular pro- editorialstaff fessor who perhaps was fired inap- propriately or those kinds of things,” EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Jonn Kmech he said. “It’s much rarer to have these [email protected] |4 92.5168 kinds of general concerns that pervade MANAGING EDITOR Justin Bell an entire faculty.” [email protected] |4 92.6654 According to Amrhein, the involve- SENIOR NEWSEDITOR Alexandria Eldridge ment of a third party could be harmful [email protected] |4 92.7308 to the reputation of the U of A, drawing unnecessary attention to the situation, DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR Simon Yackullic although Heth disagreed. [email protected] |4 92.6664 “Potentially, this could show how OPINIONEDITOR Alix Kemp the university handles a very difficult [email protected] |4 92.6661 situation,” Heth said. “The real test of ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Madeline Smith any organization is how it responds entertainment @gateway.ualberta.ca |4 92.7052 to the challenges. I think what could SPORTSEDITOR Matt Hiri damage our reputation more is if we [email protected] |4 92.6652 come across as not being able to solve these kinds of stresses.” PHOTOEDITOR Dan McKechnie [email protected] |4 92.6648 The Dean of Medicine and Dentistry could not be reached for comment. DESIGN & PRODUCTION EDITOR Lance Mudryk AASUA is the largest member of [email protected] |4 92.6663 CAUT, being the biggest faculty asso- ONUNEEDITOR Jordan Ching ciation in Canada. The CAUT com- [email protected] |2 48.1509 mittee will meet with clinical faculty, administration, and the public over the businessstaff course of two visits to Edmonton in February and March. A written report BUSINESS MANAGER Ashleigh Brown MATTHIRJI [email protected]| 492.6669 SILENT STAND On January 25, a public holiday dubbed “Police Day” in Egypt, Egyptian students gathered outside of SUB is expected to be completed before the to protest police brutality and government corruption, and support political change. start of the 2011 fall term. AD SALES MANAGER Vikram Seth [email protected] |4 92.6700 STREETERS AD/GRAPHIC DESIGNER Vikki Wiercinski As you may be aware, celebrity chef David Adjey is in Edmonton shooting a show that [email protected] |4 92.6647 follows people as they open new restaurants. CIRCULATION PAL Nick Frost What is the most ridiculous reality television show on TV Compiled and photographed by CIRCULATION PAL Kathryn Dutchak [email protected] Simon Yackulic and Evelyn Pankiv right now and why do you watch or not watch it? THE GATEWAY is published by the Gateway Student Journalism Society Grady Gibson Samantha Jaki Ellis Meagan Diduck (GSJS), a student-run, autonomous, apolitical not-for-profit organization, Science Il! Dewing Physical Science Il! operated in accordance with the Societies Act of Alberta Physical _ Education Il! Education Hl THE GATEWAY is proud to bea founding member of the Y Canadian University Press complaints Comments, concerns, or complaints about the Gateway’s content or operations should be first sent to the Editor-in-Chief at the address above. If the Editor-in- | don’t like any of them. | like shows with Jersey Shore. | don’t know why |w atch it. Jersey Shore. | hate Jersey Shore so Canada’s Worst Driver. | don’t watch it Chief is unable to resolve a complaint, it may be taken good stories. | watch a shit ton of TV, but It's kind of stupid, but it’s kind of funny. much. | only watched one episode. | just because it’s so ridiculous. It just shows to the Gateway Student Journalism Society's Board of Directors; beyond that, appeal is to the non-partisan | watch shows with stories, like House think it’s one of the dumbest things in how naturally stupid some people are. Society OmbudsBoard. The chairs of the Board of Directors and the OmbudsBoard can be reached at the and 24. society right now. address above copyri°g ht Allmaterials appearing in the Gateway bear copyright of their creator(s) and may not be used without written consent. disclaimers Opinions expressed in the pages of the Gatewayar e expressly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Gatewayo r the Gateway Student Journalism Society. Additionally, the opinions expressed in advertisements appearing in the Gatewaayr e those of the advertisers and not the Gatewanyo r the Gateway Student Journalism Society unless explicitly stated The Gateway periodically adjusts its circulation between 8,000 to 10,000 printed copies based on market luctuations and other determining factors colophon The Gatewayi s created using Macintosh computers, HP Scanjet flatbed scanners, and a Nikon Super Cool Scan optical film scanner. Adobe InDesign is used for jayout. Adobe Illustrator is used for vector images, while Adobe Photoshop is used for raster images. Adobe Acrobat is used to create PDF files which are burned directly to plates to be mounted on the printing press Text is set in a variety ofsi zes, styles, and weights of FENICE, Joanna, Kepler and Whitney. The Manitoban is the Gateway’s sister paper, and we love her dearly, though “not in that way.” The Gateway’s songs of choice are The Decemberist’s “Rise to Me” and Dragonette’s “Competition.” contributors Joel Rackel, Evelyn Pankiv, Rachel Singer, Hayley Dunning, Siwei Chen, Max Lutz, Dulguun Bayasgalan, THE GATEWAY Vanessa Lancaster, Megan Schrader, Kevin Lee Pinkoski, Andrew Jeffrey, Dustin Blumhagen, Brendan Fitzgerald, The lonely road, the greatest part of any trip with friends. Darcy Ropchan, Alex Migdal, Ryan Bromsgrove, Kory Orban, Alana Willerton, Lauren Gagatek, Ali Churchill, Reading Week is coming up and you may need a few ideas for David Kaczan, Ross Lockwood, Faye Campbell, Anthony somewhere to go. Check out The Gateway next Thursday to get your Goertz, Ross Vincent, Benjamin Nay, Brad Chury, Ben Stopping to ask for directions so you don't have to since 1910 destinations. We promise our suggestions won't break too many laws. Leung, Bobby Williamson, Sam Brooks, Danielle Jenson, Lisa Lin, Peter Holmes, Aaron Yeo THE GATEWAY ¢ volume CI number 29 Student wins award after pushing MacEwan for healthier food on campus Ever imagined MATT HIRJI Sports Editor For many students, trying to balance busy lives and a need to eat healthy on campus can be overwhelming, but one University of Alberta student is tackling this challenge head-on. Danny Guo, a master’s student at the U of A School of Internal Medicine, recognized problems affecting student nutrition at the U of A and has been UWE HAVE AN awarded the Stars of Alberta Volunteer Award for developing a student group [ INFO SESSION | that pushes for healthier food options FOR THAT. on campus. “T’s just my personality. When I see something that I want to change, Grant MacEwan University I go change it. If I see there is a prob- Centre for the Arts and lem in the community that nobody is Communications doing anything about, then I just want to go out and do something about it 10045 - 156 St, Room 296 myself,’ Guo explained. “T noticed that there were quite a few issues that Wednesda are important to me that were not beh et being addressed, so I felt that it was necessary to do something about it.” After receiving his undergradu- ate degree in cell biology from the I believe that health care, in gen- his colleges have done on the issue. Arts and Cultural Management | Diploma. Certificate. University of British Columbia, he eral, cannot be limited to basic sci- “The dollars per kilocalorie of food at wwuw.MacEwan.ca/ArtsManagement decided to pursue his master’s degree ences. We have to have translational the [Lister] cafeteria is by far the high- in Edmonton because of its strong rep- research, medical research, as well est — it is the most expensive thing to utation as a school dedicated to study- a public policy research,” Guo said. eat on campus. So these students who ing cardiovascular health. “Medical, as well as translational is are forced to have this meal card have lk barn not within my capacity because I don no choice but to eat the most expensive However, as Guo became increas- co ingly knowledgeable about the long- have access to a lab, but public healt and [least nutritious] food on campus. term impacts of poor heart health, he is something that students can make This further exacerbates the problem of P»p began to recognize a paradox between major contribution to.” poor nutrition on campus.” what he was studying in university Focused on improving public health His experiences advocating for stu- and the institutionalized hurdles that through awareness and policy change, dents at the university has motivated Studee10% students face when attempting to make CHARIOT has advocated for healthier Guo to search for more opportunities healthy food choices on campus. food options through to elicit positive change on campus. As poster cam- Frustrated, Guo decided to form the paigns, educational seminars, and Guo explains, the possibility of one day student group Cardiovascular Health multimedia projects, including an holding a position in university admin- Advocates, Researchers and Innovators upcoming documentary film focused istration could allow him to make more of Tomorrow (CHARIOT), a graduate on the poor quality of food provided at dramatic changes to policy on campus. every Wednesdaoyn all regular priced products student research group attempting to Lister Centre residences. “Trs all about the environment that mitigate, the poor food trends and food “That’s an obvious problem on you are exposed to. If you can gain Premium Quality prices at the university. campus, and it’s clearly being ignored. as much information about an issue Great Value “Originally, I wanted to start They have a mandatory meal card and as possible, then you can make a dif CHARIOT because I am interested in they have a very poor kitchen,” Guo ference. That’s why I want to go into Guaranteed Freshness basic sciences. But at the same time, explained, describing the research that governance.” Candy and Chocolate Albertans not getting off the couch ¢ Over 200 types of assorted candies, gummies, sugarless sweets and chocolates Parties ¢ Over 50 types of nuts, fruit & nut mixes and trail mixes e A wide selection of pretzels, corn snacks, RACHEL SINGER guilty of that, I have a very sedentary moderate to vigorous activity is suffi- Bits & Bites, cheese snacks and party mixes News Writer job — and then we drive home and cient to get health benefits, she stressed ¢ Coffee, tea and assorted drink crystals then sit down. So it’s just really easy to that 150 minutes is the minimum, and Meal Ideas A recent survey by the Alberta Centre not be active,” Berry explained. more is always better. for Active Living has found a decreas- Berry said that given the lifestyles “That breaks down to 30 minutes, e Regular, whole wheat, rice and organic pastas e Regular and specialty soup bases, beans and cereals ing numbers of Albertans are physi- many now lead, people need to make five days a week. And it doesn’t have to e Rice — short or long grain, basmati, white cally active and technology may be to an effort to incorporate physical activ- be all at once,” she said. “You can even or brown, parboiled, wild or instant blame. ity into their lives. break up 30-minute chunks throughout Health and Organic Foods The survey involved 1,200 adults over the day and those little bouts of activity the age of 18 from across Alberta. Of can have huge benefits.” e A huge selection of vitamins, minerals, herbal “We are engineering and specialty supplements, protein powders those surveyed, only 54 per cent would Berry also made it clear that no matter and packaged health foods & beverages be considered physically active enough physical activity right your age or your weight, everyone can e Gluten-free and organic products to receive health benefits based on the benefit from physical activity, enjoying out of our lives |... |s o it Canadian Physical Activity Guidelines. improved cardiovascular health, stron- 4 Convenient Locations to Serve You... The survey has been conducted every is becoming easier and ger bones, and less anxiety. two years since 1999, showing a peak “Just because somebody is thin Edmonton - 8069 — 104th Street N.W. (780) 438-0065 — only 3km from campus! easier to do nothing,” Edmonton — 13846 - 40 Street N.W. (780) 456-6787 in physical activity levels in 2007 anda doesn’t mean that they are physically Edmonton — 2077 - 98 Street N.W. (780) 461-4454 decline ever since. active and don’t have problems. So it TANYA BERRY Leduc - 5310 Discovery Way (780) 980-0816 Tanya Berry, a survey co-author and doesn’t matter what your weight is U OFA RESEARCHER an associate professor in the Faculty of and it doesn’t matter how old you are ON YOUR TOTAL PURCHASE OF $10.00 Physical Education and Recreation at — there are huge benefits to physical OR MORE BEFORE TAXES* the U of A, believes this downward “Using myself as an example [...] I activity,” Berry said. trend can’t be blamed on an aging pop- value physical activity so much and I Berry hopes physical activity becomes Coupon effective until S Thursday, February 3, 2011 ulation alone. was in a position where I was able to the new norm. ry Limit one coupon per store visit. “We are engineering physical activity choose where to live, therefore I bought “Thirty years ago, it would have been t THIS OFFER EXCLUDES THE PURCHASE OF GIFT CARDS. right out of our lives [... ]s o it is becom- a house close to the school so I could normal for people to be smoking in *All applicable taxes shall be payable on the full value of the merchandise. While supplies last. ing easier and easier to do nothing if walk to work. So, automatically I have their office. It is ludicrous now, because We reserve the rightt ol imit quantities. Coupon cannot be used in conjunction with the 10% Seniors’ you don’t want to do anything.” an hour of physical activity every day.” of a number of different changes that & Students’ discount. No mechanical reproductions accepted. Berry said another major reason for Berry realizes that same choice is have happened in society [.. .] So, ifwe Check out our website to find store locations & weekly specials, the decrease of physical activity is due not available to everyone due to finan- can shift the norms in the same way search for products, view recipes and much more... to lifestyle choices and income levels. cial reasons or other factors. Berry around physical activity so that every- Esa www.ebulkbarn.ca “We get out of bed, we get in our also noted that while the Canadian body is active all the time and that it is * Must provide valid identification. Excludes gift cards. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other cars, we drive to school and work, we Physical Activity Guidelines state that weird not to be active, that’s what we promotional offer. All references to savings claims are in comparison to our regular retail prices. While supplies last. On advertised items, we reserve the right to limit quantities. sit in our desks — and I am certainly a minimum of 150 minutes a week of need to do.” 4 News thursday, januar2y7 , 2011 + www.thegatewayonline.ca Smith calls 6 6 There was some discussion around the word ‘vibrate. for campus Nick DEHoD President —in an attempt to say ‘vibrant’ concerning the Strategic Plan ballot boxes COUNCIL values, vision, critical success factors, the Audit Committee. He said there passing through SUB. Another question FORUM and strategic goals for the Students’ were submissions for the Association was raised concerning the use of TVs in WILDROSE * CONTINUED FROM PAGE1 Union. Dehod hopes the plan will pro- des universitaires de la Faculté Saint- other buildings for SU advertisements, “Tt seems like this province doesn’t vide a high-level, big-picture outline of Jean (AUFSJ) and the Gateway Student and Fentiman said it was something to have a problem raising money for its what the organization seeks to do. The Journalism Society (GSJS). Both reviews ook in to, although students would be energy investments, so why wouldn't Written by Siwei Chen document was drafted to be concise, are in progress. unlikely they would be able to put them we be able to attract money for other Students’ Council meets every second succinct, but also flexible in practice. The Chief Returning Officer (CRO) all up right away. He predicted a slower types of investments? [...] Decisions Tuesday in the Council Chambers plan is still under review. Information can Jaskaran Singh answered a question pace of progress. are often made politically based on in University Hall at 6 p.m. Council be found online at www.su.ualberta.ca/ concerning the upcoming March elec- Vice President (Academic) James who has the best lobbyist rather than meetings are open to all students. The strategicplan. tions. The deadline for the Executive and Eastham answered a question on the who has the best idea,” she noted. next meeting will be held on Tuesday, Board of Governors nomination package ising price of textbooks. He said that Many students have been frustrated February 8, where free food will be pro- NOT IT has been moved to February 18. As the his year, having a Canadian Roundtable with feeling they have to vote in their vided for all attendees. Council found it difficult to fill two open SU prepares for elections, in terms of on Academic Materials (CRAM) con- parents’ ridings in provincial or federal In an attempt to match the amazing positions on the Bylaw Committee. the leaves of absence, councillors and erence wasn't fesible because he didn’t elections, despite living for years on food provided at the Graduate Students’ Thirteen nominations were made before members of standing committees need believe that they would have sufficient campus. Smith suggested this policy Association council! meetings, the SU both positions were filled by Education to take them if they are running; however, attendance to do something that would had some ulterior motives at work for stepped up this week and provided a Councillor Ngina wa Kaai and Arts campaign managers are not required to be financially responsible. Ultimately, he the Conservative government and said delicious spread of pasta, meat sauce, Councillor Dorothy Roberts. do so, though they may have in the past. decided not to have it and the confer- her party would be willing to remedy and garlic bread. So if you're at all inter- Vice President (External) Aden ence was cancelled. this confusion. ested in student politics, swing by, fill QUESTION PERIOD urphy fielded a question on how “T think the current government is your belly, and get your democracy on. Vice President (Student Life) Rory Tighe Premier Ed Stelmach’s resignation REFERENDUM FOR FAMF worried about certain ridings that are was asked whether or not students would affect his lobbying efforts. Council passed a motion granting the located in university areas going the HIDE YOUR MICROWAVES interested in participating in the dodge- urphy said he was not entirely sure Engineers’ Students Society the right to other way. We don’t have that fear; we Dallas Hunt, vice president (external) ball tournament in the first weekend of yet as the situation is evolving rapidly. ask their constituents in a referendum think that disenfranchising students is or the Collective Body for Arts Students February need to be in attendance for He said that if Advanced Education whethero r not they want to pay a Faculty a worse problem [...] We are commit- (CBAS), presented to council about he entire day or if they could come part and Technology Minister Doug Horner Association Membership Fee (FAMF). ted to do what we can to make sure some of their upcoming events. Included way through. Tighe explained that there an for Premier, he would be out of his there are ballot boxes on campus. It in his presentation was mention of Arts would easily be enough people, so he current position, which may have some BREAK YOUR FALL makes absolute sense for students to Week taking place this week, massages ecommended that students come early, effect. Council moved to include a plebiscite vote in the riding where they live for or students, and a tug-o-war duel with as there is a cap at 2,011 students and Both Vice President (Operations and question on the Fall Reading Week in school,” she said. he Interdepartmental Science Students’ here were already 2,200 confirmed on Finance) Zach Fentiman and Board of he upcoming elections to better under- In closing, Smith offered com- Society (ISSS) today in Quad at 12:30 Facebook. Tighe was later called out on Governors Representative Craig Turner stand how the student body would ments about the direction of Alberta p.m. Hunt also warned all other groups his odd number of players to split between answered aquestion about the Students’ eact to such a change. The conditions and the discontent with the current who supplied microwaves for public wo teams, to which he responded that Union's ability to measure viewership of included a start date on the Wednesday government. use to lock them down. Three or four of hey could end up with 2,012, although SUTV. Unfortunately, neither was con- before Labour Day, with the break taking “We are heading for an exciting CBAS' microwaves have been stolen. he didn’t think one player would provide ident in a way to measure viewership; place inthe same weekas Remembrance time in provincial politics. We're a huge advantage for any team. however, they outlined their strategies Day, keeping the 63 instructional days, seeing a real opportunity for every STRATEGIZING Science Councillor and = Audit and goals for each screen's position, and exempting certain faculties and vote to count in way we haven't President Nick Dehod presented the 2011 Committee Chair Andy Cheema fielded placing them near entrances, and trying programs who do not share the Winter seen for a couple of generations,” SU Strategic Plan, outlining the mission, a general question on the activities of o capture different types of audiences Reading Week. she said. CATCH THE BIG GAME AT HUDSONS! KICKOFF AT 4PM Enter for your chance to win a Coors Light Mini Fridge! Visit hudsonstaphouse.com to download your voucher for an order of FREE WINGS! THE GATEWAY ¢ volume CI number 29 New species of flying reptile found Interested in a career in Criminal Justice or Law? Join us on February 3, 2010 at 5:00PM in Room 2-100 SUB, HAYLEY DUNNING to learn more about Criminology related a News Staff Application Deadline: March 1, 201 y A University of Alberta palaeontolo- gist has determined that a fossil jaw found in British Columbia is a brand new species of flying reptile unique to Canada. Victoria Arbour identified a jaw discovered on Hornby Island as belonging to a pterosaur, a relative of the dinosaurs that ruled the skies 70 UNIVERSITY OF million years ago. Since the coast of B.C. normally turns up sea-dwelling creatures, Abour said the jaw was an exceptional find. “British Columbia has a lot of really cool fossils that we don’t hear as much about. Of course, here in Alberta, we have Dinosaur Provincial Park and all the great dinosaur finds going on, but this shows us that B.C. has a lot of interesting things going on as well,” Arbour said. Although fragments of a larger spe- cies of pterosaur have been found in Alberta, the new Gwawinapterus beardi is the first to be found in B.C., and still had an impressive wingspan of two to three metres. It lived around the same time as many of the dinosaurs SUPPLIED whose fossils are found in Alberta, and FLY AND SLITHER Arbour's sketch of the pterosaur is pictured above. illustrates the variety of life in Canada during the age of the dinosaurs. armoured dinosaurs, her work with the more to be found. The fossil jaw was collected more jaw was an intriguing side project that “Tt would be really cool if we did start than seven years ago by B.C. resident took much preparation and research to to find some dinosaur material in that Sharon Hubbard, although she wasn’t identify. Originally, the details of the formation. If we're finding pterosaurs originally credited with the find, jaw were obscured and Arbour was and birds, there’s a good chance we're causing a small controversy several unsure what kind of animal it belonged going to eventually find a dinosaur.” weeks ago. to. The breakthrough came when she To illustrate the type of creature “We made a bit of an error in who found a description of a pterosaur jaw the Gwawinapterus was, and to cel- actually collected the specimen. So in China from a similar time period ebrate the local culture of the Hornby New Asian Village in the paper, we said that Graham that closely fit the specimen. Island Kwakwaka’wakw First Nations Beard collected it. He’s the one that Arbour stressed the significance people, Arbour created a stylized brought in to our attention because he of finding a pterosaur in that area of drawing of the pterosaur. Although Ultimate in East Indian Cuisine runs a museum out there, and Sharon B.C. The bones of ancient birds have she admits the details and colours Hubbard is the collector. It’s impor- previously been found there, and the of the animal are not accurate, she tant that we give the right credit,” she pterosaur find adds to the picture of wanted to give people an idea of the explained. land-dwelling life in the Cretaceous shape and form, and to be able to While Arbour — usually studies period, but Arbour still thinks there’s visualize the flying reptile. www.newasianvillage.com PREFERRED Fall Reading Week debate goes national ALANNA WALLACE student support behind beginning Darling explained that to create a The Cord (Wilfrid Laurier University) fall semester at the end of August to fall reading week at Laurier, extra days O-21 LOWER LEVEL SUB account for the extra reading week. would have to be cut and Orientation SEPTEMBER TO APRIL HOURS: SUB print WATERLOO (CUP) — A number of University of Ottawa students Week is one of the places the commit- MONDAY TO FRIDAY, 9-5 PHONE: (780) 492-9113 Canadian universities are now toying experienced their first fall reading tee is looking. Darling added that the with the idea of instituting a reading week this past October. Registrar Eric committee is in communication with week during the fall semester in order Bercier explained that creating the groups on campus such as Residence to improve the student experience. break came through eliminating days Life to determine the value of a week- Although the change has not been during the fall exam period and the long Orientation Week. special “University of Ottawa Day” “We've been happy with our longer without resistance at some institutions, the overwhelming majority of feed- and taking one day from their orien- [orientation] period,” Darling said. back regarding the implementation of tation week to create the week-long “But we realize we can’t have both.” the week-long break has been positive. period mid-semester. Fall reading weeks are mainly The student senate at Ryerson being championed by students’ University passed a motion on January associations. “Tt’s something that 25 to shorten their fall semester in “T’s something that we were man- order to make room for a break for stu- dated to do when we were elected as we were mandated dents. Ryerson students will experience student representatives, but also that to do when we were We also do... their first fall reading week in 2012. students voted in favour of at one of BLACK & WHITE * FULL COLOUR PRINTING & COPYING “The argument can be made that elected as student our general meetings,” Salvador said. DIGITAL PRINTING & COPYING * BINDING (coil, cerlox, there is space for a break because But the reasons for the creation of a LETTER 8.5x11"_ LEGAL 8.5x14" TABLOID 11x17" representatives.” tape, stapling) we have a longer teaching semester fall reading week differ depending on SINGLE DOUBLE SINGLE DOUBLE SINGLE DOUBLE SIDED * BOOKLETS & FOLDING than most other schools,” said Liana the institution. SIDED SIDED SIDED SIDED SIDED LIANA SALVADOR nomin g¢ 15¢ 10¢ 18¢ 16¢ 27¢ * SCANNING Salvador, vice president education for For Dehod, whose concern revolved VICE PRESIDENT (EDUCATION), comme 6 | ie | ee | ae | ae 23¢ * LAMINATING Ryerson’s students’ union. “So the around being more proactive about RYERSON STUDENTS’ UNION * SHRINKWRAP move to 12-week semesters in order mental health initiatives in his role as oor 5¢ Of 7 12¢ 10¢ 15¢ * GRAPHIC DESIGN & EDITING to make space for a break is a pretty the U of 'A’s SU Vice President (Student 10000+ [AG 7c Woes lOc mead 13¢ (by the hour— minimum legitimate one.” Ray Darling, registrar at Wilfrid Life), a fall reading week was an ALL SPECIALTY PAPER 15 minute charge) What makes creating fall reading Laurier University, explained that important avenue to explore. LETTER 8.5x11"_ LEGAL 8.5x14" TABLOID 11x17" weeks unique for every university instituting a fall break has been up for “Our student counselling services add 2-5¢ add 4-10¢ h add 2¢ each h EMAIL YOUR PRINT REQUESTS TO is coming up with the days to give discussion at the university. had last year the highest usage num- = cae [email protected] students the time off without cutting “There is a small committee on bers in November. In recognizing that OTHER oa eines Please include thorough instructions into required instructional time. campus that actually met [January February winter reading weeks are Transparenciei s 75¢ each or priinnttiin g will illb bee hehelld d untiuln til pickpiuck p “Every institution had different 24],” Darling said. “When I passed established to deal with the mental Copying off the glass 15¢ 29¢ [sVrI SJAa nos >ar ed3] red/DebR. No Exelon realities when it came to creating [a the academic dates at senate last fall, a health there, November seemed like Bookcopy 20¢ 39¢ fall reading week],” said University couple of issues came up with the fall another time to take a look at,” he said. of Alberta Students’ Union President [semester] and one of them was the No matter what the reason, Bercier SU.UALBERTA.CA/SUBPRINT Nick Dehod, explaining that the SU is question of a fall reading week, and said feedback from their fall reading holding a plebiscite to ensure there’s the other was around orientation.” week has been positive. OPINION [email protected] « thursday, januar2y7 , 2011 A look at Steady Eddies legacy NOW THAT ED STELMACH HAS ANNOUNCED that he won't be leading the governing Progressive Conservatives through the next provincial election, there are a lot of people in Alberta who owe the premier thanks upon his political deathbed. First and foremost is Danielle Smith and the Wild Rose Alliance. Only Stelmach’s unique style of bumbling leadership could lead to a sizeable opposition party forming and rising to challenge the Conservatives in the polls just shortly after they won a massive majority in the legislature. Before Stelmach, the weak and divided opposition consisted of a handful of Liberal and NDP members who were ignored by the conservative caucus, typically because of their general disorganization and incompetence. With the spectre of a Wild Rose government win- ning the next election, the PCs have Stelmach to thank for bringing the province closer to the end of several decades of single party rule. Ralph Klein also owes Steady Eddie props. How a politician is remembered is often dependent on his No DouBT MY successor’s term in office. Sure, King Ralph did a lot of good things for the province — he took care of WILL ANNOUNCEMENT the deficit by slashing funding for social services and COME AS A... UMMM... closing hospitals. However, Klein also had his more “DISAPPOINTMENT” bizarre moments, like throwing a book at a page To My in the legislature and tossing money at homeless FRIENDS. people in a shelter during one of the most memo- rable examples of his little drinking problem. It is somewhat disturbing that Stelmach has caused many Albertans to think back on the Klein years with a sense of nostalgia and fondness. Furthermore, Albertans who love obnoxious real- ity TV owe Stelmach two thumbs up. If Ted Morton tries to take the helm of the leaky PC deathship after Stelmach’s departure, as is rumoured, Albertans will have a front-row seat as Morton and Danielle Smith put on a dramatic race to the right during the next election. Just as some people don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, Smith doesn’t believe in climate change. Morton, on the other hand, will probably rehash the platforms from his last leader- ship campaign in 2006 and continue to rehash the ROSS VINCENT old same-sex marriage debate. Who will win this dramatic race? Who can convince the majority of unfortunately, while writing your department,” Alexandria Eldridge, discrimination and it needs to be Albertans that they’re the more insane redneck? Stay opinion letter, you left that minor January 25) treated as such, no matter how To a IS tuned to find out. detail out. By definition, racism is the belief insidious and covert it may be. We Stelmach, a graduate of the University of Alberta, has Frankly, | am quite taken aback by that the genetic factors which con- simply mustn't abide insidious dis- been a great friend of the institution while in power. your words. | really wonder if you stitute race, ethnicity, or nationality cimination, no matter how minor it Where's the French-style Students often assume the university administration is should be calling anyone ignorant? are a primary determinant of human may seem on the surface. responsible for the strange situation where we receive beef? The issue at hand is not to “save an traits and capacities and that said “ANOTHER OLDER STUDENT” larger class sizes while forking out more money to pay African.” lf that was the case, peti- factors decide superiority/inferior- for the university’s deficit, all the while watching as tions and referendums would not ity between different ethnic groups/ millions of dollars are poured into construction across RE: (“Executive report card, u be necessary. If |w anted to, like you races. Do dehumanization = racism campus. However, we often forget that it is the provin- Gateway Staff January 20) said, “save an African,” | would have ‘cause the Nazis did it? Calling some- Double standards in cial government that controls those purse strings, and Considering the university made adopted a cute girl or boy through one an animal is racism? How? racism, whining the university ultimately has to deal with the limited he brilliant decision to create a large a program like World Vision. My If we keep broadening the defini- budget it’s been dealt. When we look around at all inancial deficit that they are making $32 a month would be well spent. ion of racism to include anything the new buildings, it’s important to remember that students pay through ‘maintenance’ However, that is not what it’s about. and everything that hurts someone's RE: (‘U of A student — files the province ties millions of dollars in grant money ees, I'd appreciate it if the SU who t is about social justice. It is eelings, it will eventually be impos- human rights complaint against specifically to construction, and this money can’t go is Supposed to have our best inter- about doing something that we, as sible to express disagreement with- department,” Alexandria Eldridge, into operations. When the university is forced to lean est in mind would spare some of this a student body, can be proud of. It is out being a “racist.” This, in turn, will January 25) on students to pay for a multimillion dollar deficit, it’s measly $10 million annual budget about helping someone other than become censorship. If a white person takes action great when Stelmach doesn’t bother to lend a hand. o help a student out. | would rather ourselves for a change — it i If you believe in free speech, stop against racism, he/she is called Oh, Stelmach. We have so much to thank him for. my fees that are paid to the SU actu- possibilities. Whether these oppor- broadening the definition of racism. a hero. An Ontario minor hockey His term helped us forget the negatives of the Klein ally go to helping students than to tunities directly or indirectly benefit coach, Greg Walsh, was suspended years, and his inability to maintain public support sending a VP to Paris that wasted students at the U of A should not be KYLE KING after a racial slur prompted him to might have put an end to the PCs’ reign. It makes thousands of dollars with nothing anissue. hope |c ould clear thingus p pull his team from the ice, and he you wonder if one day — after we've finished living beneficial to show for it. | as well as alittle, as youseem a bit confused. If was called a hero by the most o through whatever hell his inefficient stewardship many fellow students are tired and you need any further clarification my Cell Bio student's case the commentators. But, if a person has spawned — his successor will have done a shitty frustrated with increasing fees and name is Jobey Wills. Do not hesitate obviously discrimination from a visible minority takes such an enough job for us to look back on his legacy with nothing to show for it year after year. to contact me. action, he/she is called a coward o| nostalgia and fondness. his/her action will be named sense- MARIT ABRAMS JOBEY WILLS RE: (‘U of A student files less whining. SIMON YACKULIC human rights complaint against De department,” Alexandria Eldridge, “CHERYL’ January 25) Millennium Villages What's next for Ed? Discriminationis discrimination. If project isn’t about saving his studies were adversely affected The difference between Africans by supervisors or faculty making books and articles Now that Eddie’s out of'a job, we suspect he’ll either judgments based upon race, age head to Fort Mac to sell perogies out of an non- Be careful about or any other such point, then that descript white van, or begin a highly ironic new RE: (‘Bylaw 3000 protects student constitutes a breech of academic RE: (‘Book learning is overrated defining racism career as an emergency room nurse. fees from activists,” Letters, January conduct. I’ve also been told that anyways,A”li x Kemp, January 25) 1) | am too old to be a student. I've You obviously believe in what you ALIX KEMP Dear RH, | would have liked to RE: (‘U of A student _ files even had trouble being a male in write, Alix, that “book learning” is address you by your real name, but human rights complaint against a field where women prevail. It’s PLEASE SEE LETTER E7 f OPINION THE GATEWAY ¢ volume CI number 29 Facelift wont improve WEM Check us out on our website at RYAN some rides will be closed to allow for stressful pit of unnecessary extrava- thegatewayonline.ca BROMSGROVE two new family attractions, which gance, it still has no problem attract- is sure to thrill anybody under the ing hordes of shoppers. age of nine. Meanwhile, that human This is because for those still willing soup they call the waterpark is simply to brave its landscape, the mall clearly repulsive enough to skip based upon has everything they need. Endless a single glance through the window. clothing retailers, plenty of salespeople Given that they're shilling waterpark hocking make-up and creams, and an passes for $8 in SUB, I'd say they admittedly well-stocked Chapters and on Ghermezian, president know it, too. The promise of a water- HMV are what WEM’s current shoppers and CEO of West Edmonton slide descending from the highest want. For those of us that stay away, it’s Mall, has announced that a point of the park is unlikely to change because we've found better, more con- facebook.com/TheGatewayOnline twitter.com/The_Gateway facelift project will commence at the anybody’s mind. Especially since that venient options. If you love the experi- mega mall this spring, costing tens means there’s going to be a hell of a lot ence of shopping, but hate the crowds, of millions of dollars. The gigantic of stairs to climb. other malls such as Kingsway Garden ode to consumerism will receive new Mall offer a fairly good selection with RECESSION-PROOF fountains, handrails, floors, and ceil- actual space to walk around. And if Amazon even sells ings — but unfortunately, nothing to you just hate the idea of going outside, distract us from the horrible truth that Fleshlights now. A Amazon even sells Fleshlights now. A YOUR EDUCATION West Edmonton Mall is really only fun pristine modern environment just can’t pristine modern once. compete with the convenience of the environment just Class requires substance as well as internet when it comes to buying our elegance — you can put an ascot on rubber vaginas. can't compete with a hobo, but he still bums smokes and About the only thing that WEM can the convenience of the ambushes you for change when youre offer is new stores. There’s plenty of just trying to get home. Likewise, internet when it comes publicity over large high-profile outlets West Edmonton Mall is still going to setting up shop, such as the upcoming to buying our rubber be mostly clothing outlets, mini-golf addition of Quebec-based Le Maison courses, and one ludicrously expensive vaginas. Simons. But with these announce- video game store. If you find the idea ments comes the downside that the of three different La Senzas to choose few genuinely interesting locally from complete heaven rather than Youll probably be hungry after owned smaller stores are pushed aside simply redundant, then I’m sure you'll dodging screaming children in the to make space. be delighted by the news. However, if} pool for several hours, and the mall The inevitable result is that this like many of us, you reluctantly visit boasts two food courts. However, if “aniquely Edmontonian” attraction the mall when you have a curious you've ever had the pleasure of smell- will simply be a cramped conglomera- friend from out of town staying over, ing the trash compactors behind them, tion of national and international chain chances are this won't change your you wouldn't eat for a week. Then stores. Oh, and remember, for whatever shopping habits. the walkways are so clogged with it counts, it hasn't been the biggest mall However nice they make it look, it annoying kiosk vendors that even in the world for years now. Making it won't stop Galaxyland being merely if you manage to smack the remote- look nicer won't win back customers, an interesting novelty, and not worth controlled helicopter out of your face, nor will it attract masses of new tourists Graduate with a resume stacked with enviable experience: the cost of admission after you've done youre still left with the impossible to Edmonton — but at least they have leading. skill building. decision making. growth. it once. Along with the announce- task of navigating the slowly trudging the decency to not demand that taxpay- RUN FOR THE 26), APIRG BOARD ment of the facelift is the news that swarm of people. Yes, despite being a ers fund the project. AP!IRG THREE! NESFREE LETTERS * CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 unimportant, and appareyonurt eldityin g supervisors do as well. The “study pub- alberta public interest research group lished in USA Today" is actually a study Fine us on facebook! that's the subject of a book (you know, Search APIRG 780.492.0614 apirg@ualbertaca Hub International Mall Got something that you need to get off your mind? Either email us those pesky, overrated things with pages Visit us for more information or to pick up a nomination package twitter.com/apirg and pages of words), that USA Today at [email protected], tweet @threelinesfree, or DEADLINE FEBRUARY 11, 2011 www.apirg.org wrote about. The study was the basis for message us at www.thegatewayonline.ca/threelinesfree a USA Today article, as well as in articles vi for many other publications. \ STUDEN The snow wasn't enough. Now we have Library books aren't our private property. UNI For you to dismiss the study's conclu- rain. Damn. Why do people write in them? Shit, | UBtitles — hate taking out a book that’s completely sion outright without reading the source To the people who organized the flash mob marked-up. in the Ath floor ed lounge on Wednesday... material — or evidently, the second para- thanks, you made my day. just because you're speaking a language i graph of the article you quote — demon- used textbooks and much more... dont understand doesn't mean you can talk All | could think about in my chem strates the overarching concern of the in asilent library. stful! lecture was: ‘What if this entire room study itself: Students are in PSE for the instantaneously fills up with water? Would We should really have a giant snowball figh BUY, SELL OR CONSIGN TEXTS * UofA CRESTED CLOTHING & MERCHANDISE end product and don't learn critical think- my lungs permit me to swim to safety? on quad sometime. There's just so much ing skills and comprehension ast heir pre- ammunition melting away! GAH. You really are Batman. BUY, SELL, O/ CONSIGN TEXTS decessors did. Chem today: Chatty girls behind me, gir CAB's floors are dirty as fuck. Wait why am | texting on not one but TWO phones on the Your argument that there’s more to paying 3000 bucks to sit on a floor? right, tall guy directly in front. Story of my university than just the academic learn- Hey Brad Chury, you can nap on me life. ing is baseless, as people who went to whenever you'd like) | am officially bored with every food 15 mins in line in CAB and they don't take university at a time when learning was establishment on campus. Tim's cards. Fuck you Aramark. better would have arguably also forti- Dear Sean....quit touching yourself to the Hey cute bouncer at squires! Why did you fied the same “important life skills” you prof’s daughter not call me? | want to thank you for keeping endorse. Those skills are not improved CompE needs more girls, is at least one pair me Safe. ;) without logic or reasoning either. of breasts per class too much to ask? Come Considering you are university students you on ladies. So unless I’m underestimating you should be smart enough to know how to We should really have a giant snowball fight and this is instead a cleverly disguised walk properly and at a pace suited to make it to class on time. TIP: ALWAYS WALK ON on quad sometime. There's just so much ~ BOOKSTORE satirical piece in which you purposely ammunition melting away! GAH. & MICROSTORE | . THE RIGHT SIDE, go with the flow. exemplify the very behaviour you say is Remember that show Hey Arnold? | o hy == To the couple in SUB furiously making out not a problem, I'll assume that you and Remember the grammpa? He had a dick Eo peer onthe couch: Stop reminding me of the fact your editorial superiors at the Gateway drawn on his head. Google that shit. Ruin =e hat I'm not getting laid and fuck off. were too busy editing articles abou your childhood. Lost a set of keys on a red keyring. If anyone Q SUB unicorns to critically think before you Okay, | get it, | shouldn't have fucked up ind them please text 780 995 7897. @ inal and overpaid my tuition. But can | have my pontificate. Thanks! R 0 SUBprint p money back now? Please? B = t's a 2 lane hallway, with space for passing. Please don't walk like a tractor on main “ALEX” The Gateway reserves the right to street during rush hour. Via Internet edit any submissions, as well as Hey Miss Paris! Why don’t u add me on refuse publication of any submis- Fb ? Why don't u answer my texts ? | keep Letters to the editor should be sent to sion it deems racist, sexist, hateful, hinking about ul C. REGULAR HOURS: [email protected] or deliv- libellous, or overtly offensive. The To Josh Le who wore the same pair of pants ered to SUB 3-04. ora year: |am so in awe of you right now. Gateway cannot guarantee that your 10:00 am — 4:00 pm Monday - Friday Letters to the editor should be no You're right up there with bacon on the submission will be used (but we'll awesome list. longer than 400 words, and should try). Submissions should be 130 char- T.A. of FRENCH 298 you're cute! Let's have include the author's name, program, acters max (including spaces). a drink. and year of study to be considered for Lower Level 0-22 SUB ° 780-492-9744 ° WwWw.su.ualberta.ca/subtitles publication. 8 — OPINION thursday, januar2y7 , 2011 + www.thegatewayonline.ca sania, “No place is boring, if you've had a good night's sleep and have a pocket full of unexposed film." - ROBERT ADAMS PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: DAN MCKECHNIE ~_ Your horrifying classmates rah Wek | WY i { Teja! 2 ee fs = Hail OPINION eating the world’s most audible vegeta- kindly tell him to shut his hole so that ii js ts. ito —— oe eS — , STAFF ble: the carrot. Whatever — he’s almost lazy sleeping underachievers can con- done. Time to refocus and get back to tinue slacking in peace. the droning professor. Except that as soon as his carrot- Lauren Gagatek chomping subsides, your nose is Group attacked. It smells like a HUB vendor You obviously have a fidgety foot-tap- Commentary has their curry, body-odour, and hate- per in some (or all) of your classes. If flavoured special on today. It’s amazing youre really unlucky, you'll be stuck ** They exist in every classroom — those how successfully the flavour of their with a tapper who constantly sits irritating student stereotypes that dis- dish converts to smell. You wipe the beside you, no matter how hard you oo PHOTO rupt our attempts at learning and haunt vomit off your desk and begin writ- try to move away. ' our nightmares. Our intrepid team ing an email to your local MP, hoping I’s that one person who not only of Gateway volunteers has stalked the to convince him to criminalize “smell invades your personal space, but shakes wilds of the University of Alberta to molestation,” when the intrusive odour the entire set of chairs with their vig- catalogue these terrors of academia, subsides. You scrap the email and go orous leg movements. The constant Finding pees in your lecture halls since 1910 = so that you may properly arm yourself back to writing notes. fidgeting shakes the desk to such a = « with the knowledge to identify them. Just as you're figuring out what the degree that your writing best resem- point of the lecture was again, there’s bles that of a five-year-old. Without Photo meetings Fridays at 4 p.m. on the Alana Willerton a loud crack from the desk of your fail, the culprit always wears those aie 4,t hitd floor of SUB. It's never Boring: unching classmate. Really? How did awful vinyl track pants that sound Youre sitting in class, half listening to he fit a whole cooked lobster into his like two pieces of sandpaper scratch- your professor ramble about the value backpack? Can you even buy those on ing together when he walks. Despite of the semicolon, when suddenly the campus, or did he cook it on a bunsen the unimpressed looks you shoot his classroom door swings open with a burner in his last class? Plus, the flame direction every 30 seconds, he fails to bang. All eyes fly to the entrance, pray- he’s using to melt the butter has to bea pick up on your subtle hints. ing it isn’t who they think it is. But of fire hazard. Somehow this person has Finally, you resort to a retaliatory course, it is inevitable. There they are. gone from making loud noises, to pro- foot tap, but he won't even acknowl- The latecomer. Arriving 10 minutes ducing horrid smells, to endangering edge your meagre attempts to stop the after the class has started, the latecomer ives in mere minutes. foot tapping. You're left to fume instead never fails at being faithfully late to Finally comes the quiet, familiar of paying attention to your prof: every lecture. crinkle and the sweet smell of choco- Of course, getting to class is only ate. Damn, that looks tasty, and it is Ali Churchill half the battle, as this tardy student getting close to lunchtime. Maybe must now maneuver herself over the you can grab one of those from the The mouth breather can be a difficult feet and backpacks of her fellow class- vending machine in the hall before species to spot, particularly since their Toboggan Race 2011 mates to reach that oh-so-conveniently your next class — the sound of your identifying characteristic can be hidden situated last empty seat in the middle grumbling belly surely must be more by the general kerfuffle that accompa- of the row. After crunching a few toes obnoxious than grabbing a quick bite nies the initial moments of finding and smacking a few students in the in class, right? seats and settling into class. With no Technical Exhibition and face with her backpack, the latecomer obvious outward characteristics to help finally arrives at her seat. positively identify them, it’s easy to Darcy Ropchan Career Fair January 28 But just when you think you can fall into the mouth breather’s trap, and finally turn your attention back to the How many times has this happened once ensnared, their victim must suffer Northlands Expo Centre Hall A ecturer, the latecomer suddenly begins to you? I’s 2 pm., you've just polished through for an often indeterminate, to flail helplessly as she struggles to pull off two foot-longs from Subway, and though always painful time period. her arms from her heavy winter jacket, youre sitting in your philosophy class, Once the mouth breather’s natu- Race Day January 29 sending the coffee mugs and papers of about to doze off, when all ofa sudden ral habitat quiets, their true and hor- her neighbours flying in the process. your ears are filled with the piercing rifying nature is revealed. Perhaps Edmonton Ski Club After managing to free herself, the sound of the all-too-common philoso- the most apt description of a mouth atecomer then begins the process of phy class keener. breather would be the bastard love noisily digging through her bag to find Keeners are unlike any other class- child of Darth Vader and a decrepit that pencil she’s sure is in there some- room monster because technically humidifier. Of course, these irritating where. She may even decide to boot up they've done nothing wrong — theyre and moist exhalations are not always her laptop, hoping that the rest of the simply asking and answering ques- born, but made; a subspecies of the 7 class will also enjoy the string of beeps tions. Which is supposedly encour- mouth breather, the deviated septum and rings that accompany the action. aged, but keeners abuse that right by is beloved by Hollywood celebrities APEGGA Finally satisfied and ready to learn, rambling on and on about topics they and plastic surgeons alike. the latecomer assumes their position don’t understand. Contrary to popular belief} mouth A TETRA TECH COMPANY facing the board, already anticipating You may be wondering how to spot breathers can in fact be contagious, GRAHAM i) Kiewit the next time they will once again strike a philosophy keener, and thanks to should they be of the seasonal cold a chord of annoyance in the hearts of their distinct markings, it’s easier than variety. Once exams and midterms take students everywhere. ever. The typical keener will never be their toll, class-going students should Oo. seen without his Macbook Pro and $9 be on their guard. The influx of sea- RAMADA coffee from Starbucks. Once inside the sonal mouth breathers is sure to be Kory Orban classroom, you can expect the keener higher than normal. Regardless of the : Exho @ No, that sound from right behind to bombard the professor with endless, origin, a mouth breather, once identi- Holcim “4 ' Red Deer ae Department of Civil you isn’t a garbarator, a wood chip- pointless questions about Descartes and fied, is nearly impossible to ignore. The And Enviromental Engineering per, or someone falling down the Hume and how their philosophical horrendous sound, similar to listening aisle and breaking bone after bone. teachings somehow relate back to him to someone trying to slurp a raw piece Ir’s a contender for the most annoying personally. of steak through a straw, is enough to www.gnctr2011.com classmate stereotype, who is always So if you spot a keener in your class, send anyone running. THE GATEWAY ¢ volume CI number 29 ADVERTISEMENT 9 F I R S T 2011 PEOPLE 1 1 A M R E G I S T R A T I O N GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS FOR 1198 PEOPLE FEBRUARY 5, 2010 University of Alberta 1745 PEOPLE SEPTEMBER 22, 2010 University of California, Irvine 2011 PEOPLE? FEBRUARY 4, 2011 University of Alberta BREAKTHERECORD 10) OPINION thursday, januar2y7 , 2011 + www.thegatewayonline.ca New minister doomed to disappoint TEACH ENGLISH OVERSEAS \ “Seriously, a combination of excellent DAVID v Travel the world with a OS KACZAN communication skills and a worldly perspective Global Tesol will help Canada negotiate ambitious progress Y Get TESOL certified in five days against carbon emissions. Well, we don’t actually Y Study in-class, online or have such a policy to push, but the potential is by correspondence there.” Y Overseas job guarantee Y Call today for a free eing environment minister in by any stretch, but not bad given the levels, a much feebler goal than our info package B the Harper government is no challenges he’ll face. original Kyoto commitments. But picnic. The numbers bear this For starters, his experience as a the Harper government has stated FREE SEMINAR every Tuesday at 7pm ¢ 10037B-Whyte Ave out: five ministers in five years, with junior foreign minister will help when publicly that even this modest target the latest stepping up to the plate just it comes to tussling with other minis- will depend on positive action from SE Ttsot 1-888-270-2941 © globaltesol.com this month. The new minister, Peter ters and diplomats at climate change our American neighbours first. If that YOUR ADVENTURE STARTS HERE! Kent, who hails from Toronto, has so negotiation meetings. And being able doesn’t happen, Peter Kent can pretty far stuck closely to the tone set by his to deliver a pithy explanation of the much put his feet up. “There is no boss and his predecessors in the envi- Harper government’s sorry climate This state of affairs is something of ronment ministry. Ifmore of the same position with an anchorman’s straight a shame, as there’s no doubt that Peter leads to a similarly brief tenure in this face will keep him popular with the Kent has the fortitude to do a lot for cabinet position, Mr. Kent better not boss. Seriously, a combination of Canada’s environment. In the 1970s, such thing get too attached to his new office. excellent communication skills and a Kent lost his job standing up to his So how is the gig going so far? For worldly perspective will help Canada bosses at CBC in defence of a principle. Canada’s environment — fair to aver- negotiate ambitious progress against That principle was government inter- age. Day two saw a solemn reaffirma- carbon emissions. Well, we don’t actu- vention in the supposedly indepen- as public tion of the government’s commitment ally have such a policy to push, but the dent broadcaster. If we were confident not to pass legislation that might cur- potential is there. that Peter Kent was committed to lead- tail carbon emissions from the oil On this issue of climate policy, Peter ership on climate change, we could sands. In fact, the new minister went Kent has a difficult balancing act. On expect him to similarly stand up to Opinion. straight to bat for the industry, stating one hand, reluctant cabinet colleagues cabinet colleagues who would rather that it was an ethical source of oil and wont be enthusiastic about tough fold in the face of tough decisions. well regulated. emissions standards. On the other side But so far, that confidence hasn't “Well regulated,” however, was of the argument are countries keen been earned. Frankly, selling the not the conclusion of recent reports to reach a binding agreement, and, status quo with snappy lines is an There is only on the tar sands. A study commis- of course, the environment. Luckily underachievement for someone of sioned late last year — that’s two for the minister, Stephen Harper has his record. But unfortunately, that’s ministers ago, for those keeping score set the bar low; a reduction in green- all the job may entail, for the signs so — by the federal government found house emissions of 17 per cent below far suggest that while the nameplate at published significant weaknesses in the moni- 2005 levels by 2020, which amounts the minister’s office has changed, the toring regime. Soon after, a weighty to a 2.5 per cent increase over 1990 policies have not. panel of experts, formed by the Royal readerpoll Society of Canada, labelled current Opinion. - health and socio-economic assess- ments “seriously deficient,” and said “How well do you think the SU executives are there were “valid concerns” regard- doing their jobs this year?” ing the current environmental moni- toring system. This was somewhat - WINSTON CHURCHILL ironic given his initial statements, a They're all knights in shining armour (28%) since announcing a response to these reports will be one of the first tasks GATEWAY OPINION | know a lot about the SU Exec, by which the minister will have to tackle. | mean | know a lot about bacon (25%) But just who is Peter Kent? By train- You know the Horsemen of the Apocalypse? ing, he’s a media man, having worked Yeah, worse than those guys (25%) Publishing your opinions since 1910 as a foreign correspondent in Vietnam. [| They've all stumbled at points (8%) He hosted CBC’s The National and was Opinion meetings Thursdays at 5 p.m. in SUB 3-04. later deputy editor at Global Television [| Some have been better than others (13%) News. After entering parliament in 2008, he headed straight for a junior THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: Need Some $$$$ cabinet position, as Minister of State “Who would you prefer to see succeed Ed Stelmach as Premier of for Foreign Affairs for the Americas. Alberta?” vote online at thegatewayonline.ca This is not a deep green résumé for your project or event? Cell phones a barrier to communication Does your group need some ISHMAEL N. to keep my phone in my pocket for fingertips is that you are much less concerted support from people who have f DARO the duration of the party. If a dispute likely to engage others or meet new experience in successful group formation? ( ]. > (CUP) arises that might require some quick people. Yes, we are all busy people Googling, I always ask if people would with lots of friends who are trying to like me to check and end the debate. get in touch with us, but the second Apply for the next For the record, Michael Winslow you put your head down and focus on was in all seven Police Academy films, your phone, you encourage the people E——Er APIRG funding round! as well as the short-lived television around you to do the same. series. Pandas are indeed a type of When cellphones _ first became as Michael Winslow in all bear, belonging in the animal family popular in the late 1990s, comedians Date: January 28 the Police Academy films? Ursidae. And according to dictionary used to joke about the hotshot who Are pandas actually a type definitions, coleslaw is a kind of salad. was so popular that he couldn't be 2010 of bear? Can coleslaw be considered Fact-checking isn’t the only prob- out of touch for more than 30 min- salad? Remember when questions lem with the ubiquity of smartphones. utes and just had to have a phone with Time: 5pm like these couldn’t be answered with a There are also the chronic texters — him. We used to laugh at that guy and quick search on your phone? admittedly, you could do that before his Beethoven ringtone. But then we It used to be that a dinnertime the iPhone — photographers, and became that guy, all of us — although Visit. us at 9111 HUB debate over trivial matters could be a social media updaters. with better ringtones. witty and engaging experience. Now, If you tell everyone on Facebook and I'm not romanticizing the past; it Mall of see our web- those same participants are likely to Twitter that you are “Ata gr8 party w/ really sucked not knowing things. The site at www.apirg.org just whip out their phones and end Jack & Jill,” you, in fact, are not. The difference now is that we can know the discussion with “according to party is happening all around you, everything immediately. I’m not for more info! Wikipedia ...” but you are in another world alto- asking people to throw their phones The situation is particularly bad at gether, where people communicate in away, but at least save the fact-check- some parties where no one can utter strange truncated sentences and urge ing for after the conversation has run a word without being fact-checked you to follow links even deeper into its course. Or if you are feeling really instantly by several iPhones, Androids, the internet. adventurous, turn your phone off the and BlackBerrys. At times, I have been Another unfortunate side effect of next time you are with people you guilty of this, too. But lately I have tried having the internet always at your might like to talk to.

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