The Gateway (2002-01-24)

28 Pages·9.1 MB·English

by  University of Alberta

he U2nsl Vi @: FS ts Ay ) ysW ass aes ¢g t Ba et
THE GATEWAY
Volume XCI Number 30 Thursday, 24 January, 2002 http://www.su.ualberta.ca/gateway/
Councillors engineer new version of SU bylaw
Andra Olson
News EDITOR
Arguing that the Executive
Committee's version of Bylaw 6600
went too far to control dedicated
fees groups, members of council
supported the introduction of a
revised, toned-down version.
In an unusual action,
Engineering Councillor Chris Jones
moved to have his new version of
the bylaw approved and called for
the old proposal to be thrown out.
Jones explained his version of
the bylaw would give oversight
boards only fiscal review abilities,
with no ability of any board “to
interfere with political matters.”
Beginning Tuesday’s debate on
the contentious bylaw, the SU
Executive presented a_ slightly
reworded version of the document.
Executive members explained
that a discussion meeting on Friday
that was attended by lawyer Bill
Shores, council members, repre-
sentatives of the affected parties
and themselves had led to changes
that they thought were sufficient to
have the council agree to pass the
bylaw. Marcus Bence / THE GATEWAY
PLEASE SEE ‘‘BYLAW” ON PAGE 4 Business Councillor Jon Sharun shows frustration over hours of debate that seemed to yield few results at Tuesday’s Students’ Council Meeting.
Indigo opens book
U of A researchers nab hit
prestigious US grant
on campus sales
Today
16 Default makes mischief in race
Dobryan Tracz over effects for international recog- cars, in Entertainment today!
NEWS STAFF nition and funding is significant,” Bookseller may be violating expansion order
Weiner said.
Quote for the day
Rachubinski's cell biology lab
Two University of Alberta bio- works on peroxisomes: small cellu- I don’t want to achieve immortal- Mark Wells Association.
medical researchers have been lar compartments that are essen- ity through my work ... I want to NEWS STAFF Indigo maintains that it has not
awarded grants from the pres- tial in metabolism. They are achieve it through not dying. violated the Consent Order from the
tigious Howard Hughes Medical investigating how defects in per- — Woody Allen Competition Bureau as it has only
Institute (HHMI) in the United oxisome function can lead to seri- Indigo Books is looking to turn solicited the campuses. Closing
States. ous disorders, such as Zellweger's over a new page on campus book- deals with campus bookstores can
This day in the Gateway’s history
Dr Christopher Bleackley from Syndrome. selling. take years to complete, said Indigo
the Department of Biochemistry The Gateway reported on the incred- Campuses across Canada have spokesperson Tracy Nesdoly. With
and Dr Richard Rachubinski of the “The Howard Hughes award ibly low attendance by student rep- been solicited by Indigo Books the brochures, Indigo Books is only
Department of Cell Biology were allows me to do speculative resentatives at General Faculties to have their bookstores operated preparing itself for the end of the
each honoured for their cutting- work, allowing me to try Council meetings. Most reps cited through its subsidiary, Chapters no-expansion period outlined in
edge research in medical science. “frustration with the awkwardness Campus Bookstores. the Consent Order, said Nesdoly.
different things. It’s the risky
"This is a great honour and rec- and slowness of university govern- Though the moves made on Todd Anderson, director of the
ognizes the quality of science in work that can sometimes be ment” as keeping them away from campus bookstores have only University of Alberta bookstore is
our lab, the U of A and in Canada,” the most rewarding.” participation. amounted to the distribution of not concerned by the threat of
said Rachubinski. 1972 marketing brochures, they are a takeover. “Competition is good.
A massive medical research phi- — Dr Chris Bleackley, being taken seriously by the I've got nothing against it,” said
lanthropy body, HHMI is a major Howard Hughes investigator Western Canadian College Stores Anderson.
Index
source of research funding for med- Association. On 414 January the But Anderson said the advantage
ical science worldwide. Selecting Two floors below in the Medical News 1-4 association sent a letter to the fed- of having a campus owned and
their scientific investigators by Sciences Building is the Bleackley eral Competition Bureau outlining operated bookstore is clear. “We
Opinion 6-9
stressing the funding of innovative lab, where research focuses on its concerns. are a cost-recovery operation; our
Sports 12-13
people, not projects, HHMI funds the study of certain T-cells in the The central issue is whether motive is to break even... [Because
over 350 HHMI scientific investiga- immune system that are able to Feature 14-15 Indigo Books would be violating its private stores operate for profit],
tors with five-year grants of up to kill other cells. Arts & Entertainment 16-20 agreement to halt expansion follow- when you get a lease operator
US$450 000 (CAN$725 000) each. Using molecular genetics, sci- ing its acquisition of Chapters book- in, inevitably prices go up,” said
Comics 23
Awarding over US$ 1 billion since entists have identified new pro- stores. One of the conditions of the Anderson.
4988, HHMIis the largest privately- teins called granyzymes, that cut Classifieds 24 agreement was that the new Indigo- Anderson also cites service
funded education initiative in US up important proteins in cells. Chapters company would open no assurances via the bookstore’s
history. This year, a total of 413 Granyzymes can induce a process new stores until mid-2003. close relationship with the
Canadians were named Howard called programmed cell death, in There will be no Gateway pub- “Tt has become increasingly clear Students’ Union as another advan-
Hughes investigators. which human cells are instructed lished next Tuesday, as most of the that despite the contents of this tage it has over a private operator.
Dr Joel Weiner, Associate Dean to commit suicide. When a cell is staff will be convening in Upper Consent Order [from the The bookstore has followed recom-
of the Faculty of Medicine and infected with a virus, it can be trig- Canada, discovering the secrets of Competition Bureau] the new entity mendations from the SU's advisory
Dentistry, called the awards “great gered to die in order to stop the news-paper-men from all across the is actively seeking to expand their committee to improve service to
news for the U of A” and noted spread of the infection. This ulti- Dominion. And of course, courier retail presence at University and students. Additionally, the U of A
that they may have other positive mate cellular sacrifice can end up du bois. Of course. College locations across Canada” bookstore has the fourth-lowest
effects down the road. saving the whole organism. wrote Anna Li, president of the textbook prices in Canada.
“The potential of additional roll- PLEASE SEE “GRANTS” oN PAGE 3 Please recycle this newspaper Western Canadian College Stores PLEASE SEE “INDIGO” ON PAGE 2
2 ‘THe GaTeway NEWS Thursday, 24 January, 2002
THE GATEWAY | Project helps arts grads cross ‘digital divide |U niversity
Bookstore
Thursday, 24 January, 2002
David Zeibin Krahn, the acting Dean of Arts. employers, you find Arts graduates
Published since 21 November, 1910 PRODUCTION EDITOR “We're highly aware that many of working throughout their organi-
Circulation 10 000 our humanities graduates do have zations, all the way up the hierar- not worried
Fear not, young Arts grads: the a wide array of information tech- chy into senior management,” said
Editor-in-Chief
federal government has recognized nology skills. But it’s finding a way Krahn.
Dave Alexander
your unending plight. to link that with the disciplinary “The assumption is they must by Indigo
[email protected] 492-5168
Human Resources Development areas they work in, and finding a have got there because of techni-
Managing Editor Canada has awarded a $170 000 way to market those skills more cal training. The technical skills
research contract to the Faculty aggressively.” they have, they brought with them,
Chris Boutet
of Arts Technologies for Learning The three-stage project will begin but the broader experience that “INDIGO” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
[email protected] 492-2019
Centre (TLC), aimed at increasing this term with surveys of current comes out of an Arts background Nesdoly said that Indigo would
_ News Editors the employability of liberal arts Arts graduates to determine their also helps them.” attempt to present similar func-
Jhenifer Pabillano graduates. computer skills, and, through com- The initial research will lay the tions. “We certainly think that we
[email protected] 492-3423 The one-of-a-kind project, coor- parison with non-Arts graduates, groundwork for the development can provide an efficient service to
Andra Olson dinated by TLC Director Terry document the extent of the “digital of online learning materials to be campuses,” said Nesdoly. However,
[email protected] 492-5068
Butler, intends to first investigate divide.” Continuing through the incorporated into the curriculum she was unable to provide any
Sports Editor the so-called “digital divide”: the summer, surveys will be distrib- by summer 2003 and eventually other specifics as to how Chapters
widespread notion that new Arts uted to a number of employers to piloted during the fall 2003 term. Campus Bookstores would benefit
Collin Gallant
graduates must play catch-up in a identify the actual skills desired by Although planning and research campus bookstores or their cus-
[email protected] 492-1483
job market favouring more techno- employers in today’s workplace. will occur at the University of tomers.
Entertainment Editor logically inclined individuals. “We've been talking to employ- Alberta, project teams at the Chapters Campus Bookstores
Erika Thorkelson “This is a highly unique project ers through the Conference Board University of British Columbia, currently has a_ lease-operator
[email protected] 492-7308 because it's actually trying to quan- of Canada since the mid-’90s, and University of Victoria, and the arrangement with McGill that pre-
tify and identify some of the issues a good part of the problem involves University of New Brunswick will dates its acquisition by Indigo,
Features Editor people talk about but haven't really breaking down some of the miscon- also be surveying students and and is therefore not subject to
Steve Lillebuen managed to put research efforts ceptions that are out there. When employers, as well as developing the Consent order issued by the
[email protected] 492-5178 towards,” commented Dr Harvey you actually take a look at major course materials and pilots. Competition Bureau.
Campus Security seeking student auxiliary officers
Photo Editor
Marcus Bence
[email protected] 492-1482
Production Editor Barrie Tanner degree after finishing his under-
David Zeibin NEWS STAFF grad at McMaster. Today, aside
[email protected] 492-7052 from his duties as a student aux-
As January draws to a close, iliary, Kirkby spends his days
Circulation Manager Campus Patrol Services is stepping leading undergraduate classes,
James Elford up.its recruitment drive seeking to completing his PhD in Medical
[email protected] 492-5178 find eleven qualified applicants to Physics specializing in radiation
fill positions in the department as treatment for cancer, and working
Off-campus Distribution
Student Auxiliary officers. at the Cross Cancer Institute.
S*A*R*G*E
This year’s selection process "IT had no idea what to expect
[email protected] 480-8423
#223 11215 Jasper Avenue is especially important due to a from the program before I joined,”
Edmonton, T5K OL5 recent change in the recruitment admitted Kirkby. “I thought a lot
processes of full-time sworn con- of the job would just be dealing
Advertising Inquiries
stables. Now, full-time constables with drunk people, but there are a
Cassandra McLean
are recruited solely from the ranks lot more serious things I've had to
2-900 Students’ Union Building
University of Alberta of the student auxiliaries to fur- deal with like weapons, drugs and
Edmonton, T6G 2J7 ther the force's connection with the warrants.”
[phone]
University community. Kirkby regularly patrols Newton,
ip Head / THE
But diversity comes first. HUB and the east side of Campus.
Charlie Kirkby, a student auxiliary officer with Campus Patrol Services
\y STUDENTS: “We're not necessarily only look- Other days, he accompanies a full-
UNION ing for law-enforcement types,” time constable on patrol, where he communications, patrol Applicants are expected to be
said Officer Nelson Presley, a co- provides an extra set of eyes and procedures, training in criminal students or alumni, must have no
——
ordinator of the Student Auxiliary ears to the officer and assist in and provincial law, instruction of criminal record and have no more
The Gatewayi s published by
the University of Alberta Students’ Union Program. “We're looking for stu- arrests. University regulations, and officer than four demerits on their driving
dents from a variety of backrounds "Short of the Edmonton Police safety, training which continues record.
and faculties.” Service or our own full-time staff, throughout the year. “You get to work alongside some
Student Auxiliary Officer Charlie there’s no other place you can get Student auxiliaries are expected really great people,” said Kirkby.
Kirkby is a good example of the this kind of training,” said Presley. to work one or two shifts a week and "There's a really positive attitude
The Gateway is sort of a member of diversity within the program. Born “Our auxiliaries are as well-trained volunteer at the HUB Community and a sense of team spirit.”
the Canadian University Press in Ontario, Kirkby moved to’ as our full-time members.” Patrol Office for three hours a Those interested in participating
Edmonton to complete his Masters Training offered includes tactical week. should contact Campus Security.
The Gateway is a student newspaper serving the
University of Alberta. All materials appearing in
COUNCIL FORUM
the Gateway bear copyright of the Gateway and
their creators and may not be used without written
consent. The University of Alberta Students’ Union
may hold joint ownership of materials appearing in
the Gateway. For clarification of ownership, contact Students’ Council meets every second Tuesday at 6:00pm in the Council Chambers
the Editor-in-Chief or the Students’ Union Vice-
President (Student Life). in University Hall. Council meetings are open to all students.
Opinions expressed in the pages of the Gateway are
¢ After the introduction of the Samuel explained that the choice be an example of a direct threat the proper procedure to appoint
expressly those of the author and do not necessar-
ily reflect those of the Gateway. Executive Committee’s minutes, of attire was due to a Board of to editorial autonomy, what was proxy representatives, after Dave
Law Councillor Brian Loewen Governors meeting that day. He important was how they were con- Alexander left written permission
The Gateway is created using Apple Macintosh
Computers, Hewlett-Packard ScanJet 3c and Umax raised issue with the lack of infor- also said that he had worked hard strued by editors in the situation. for former Gateway Editor-in-Chief
Astra 600S flatbed scanners, anda Canon Canoscan mation the minutes provided. and his ability to perform his duties Alexander gave an example of a Dan Lazin to temporarily assume
4000N optical film scanner. Adobe InDesign is used
for layout. Adobe Illustrator is used for vector He made a motion to table the could not be hampered by his abil- recent SU page in the Gateway his seat on council. Later, Business
images while Adobe Photoshop is used for raster reports until next week where ity to purchase certain items. where allegations were made Councillor Jon Sharun changed his
images. Adobe Acrobat is used to create PDF
files which are burned directly to plates to be Council could be provided with e Science Councillor Chamila against an editorial run in a previ- name card to “Gong Show," as a
mounted on the printing press. The Gateway’s more details of the Executive's activ- Adhihetty told Council that in ous issue. Alexander said the alle- silent protest to the lengthy debate,
games of choice are Dave Dobson's marvelous
Snood, and Tom Clancy's “freeki-tiki” Rainbow Six ities. Arts Councillor Anand Sharma recent presentations to university gations were not without bias and while others expressed additional
Rogue Spear. offered support for the idea. classes, Gateway representatives gave readers incorrect information. frustration with the nature of the
Vice-President (Academic) Amy cited editorial pressure from some He added that the paper’s position debate.
Contributors
Salyzyn said the minutes provided members of the SU Executive as a is difficult given it is to report on e Debate ensued over the many
Kristine Owram, Julian Cheung, an accurate account of what the reason to support their autonomy the government it works for. absences of Undergraduate Board
Heather Adler, Nolan Shulak, Rotating Executive had been doing. Adding referendum question. Adhihetty Chris Boutet told Council of an of Governors Representative Chris
Dog, Adam Houston, Raymond more detail, she said, “would only asked Editor-in-Chief Dave incident where President Samuel Burrows, and whether or not he
Biesinger, Tyson Durst, Mark McIntyre, add adverbs and adjectives.” Alexander to give specific exam- had written a letter to the Opinion should be allowed to retain his seat
Neal Ozano, Mike Winters, Fish Gri- The motion was defeated, auto- ples to discuss these allegations. section. If Boutet chose not to run on Council.
wkowsky, Dan Ripley, Alex Labarda, matically approving the minutes. Loewen asked the speaker if it, Samuel had commissioned an ¢ Bylaw 6600 was tabled by Council
Ryan Peniuk, Rudi Gunther, Mark
¢ Arts Councillor Jill Tackaberry - anyone in Council could be forced ad of the same content to run in the until the next council meeting.
Wells, Philip Head, Cory Wanless,
asked President Samuel to com- to answer such a question. Speaker same issue. Samuel told Council Proposals for ammendments com-
Heather Carrot, Adam Rozenhart, Leah
Collins, Owen Livermore, Asia Szkud- ment on his recent appearance in Greg Harlow ruled that no one the Executive wanted to get their pelled councillors to send the bylaw
larek, Mike Swake, Iain Ilich, Cher- a fashion feature in SEE Magazine. can be forced to answer, but that opinions out. to the SU Internal Review Board to
isse Szymcozak, Mr James Johnson, The issue was raised that many Council could impose penalties on The Gateway will present a prepare recommendations for the 5
banana bread, Tim Horton’s bran muf- students on campus cannot afford a Councillor who chose not to. report at the next Council meeting February meeting. For more infor-
fins, Dairy Queen Blizzards and Dilly tuition, yet the President was fea- Alexander told council that regarding the issue. mation please see related story on
Bars, producing and Whitesnake and tured wearing a $1400 outfit. although not every incident may e A lengthy debate began over page 4.
Halo, for making it all worth it. Happy
Compiled by Andra Olson
Birthday, Robroy. You're fun.
a
THE Gareway 3
Thursday, 24 January, 2002
IN YOUR
OPINION
We've moved!
$25 off
Do you do any
complete eye glasses purchase
volunteer work?
Kim Paziuk
Open
J Studies I
I coach a Pee-Wee hockey team in
the Edmonton minor hockey season.
Cory Wanless / THE GATEWAY
It gives me so much: leadership Dr Richard Rachubinski received US$450 000 for his cell biology research.
skills, organizational skills, people Researchers cite Alberta
skills, hero skills. The kids and the
parents are great, so it is a really
good experience overall.
funding as key to success
“GRANTS” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 microbiologist and Dr Catherine
HHMI grants allow the research- Strynadka, a protein crystallogra-
ers to pursue their area with pher.
Andrea more flexibility. "It allows our According to Rachubinski and
Nahmiash lab to investigate problems with Bleackley, the key to the U of A
Nursing II approaches that you normally successes lies in several areas,
wouldn't use,” said Rachubinski. including attracting excellent grad-
I volunteered at a vet clinic and the Bleackley echoed his words, uate students and major research
SPCA. I did it for school and myself noting, “The Howard Hughes award grants from institutes like the
so it was kind of a two way [street], allows me to do speculative work, Alberta Heritage Foundation for |
but it just made me feel good to do allowing me to try different things. Medical Research (AHFMBR). Since
it. The most valuable part was the It's the risky work that can some- 4980, AHFMR has contributed more
experience. It was the vet thing that times be the most rewarding.” than $650 million directly to the
made me go to the [University]. Taking risks in research has scientific community, primarily in
paid off, as Howard Hughes inves- Alberta.
tigators are some of the top sci- "The Heritage Foundation is a || : a : Bbiurdt}h day{ 2C Sealneib rcaat ion in yooeu r hoae nor!
entists in the world of medical huge draw and allows the U of A
research, including several Nobel to attract top students,” said | This coupon entitles the Birthday Person (you) to:
* Consume $50.00 of fun on us!
Prize winners and more that 70 Bleackley.
+ Tear this coupon up into confetti & throw a party for yourself & six
members of the National Academy The attraction is clear, as in addi-
or more of your friends at Trav's
of Sciences. tion to Canadians, the Rachubinski
* Suck helium out of balloons & sing the birthday song!
Kellee Other Canadian Howard Hughes lab has students from countries
McIntyre investigators have a U of A con- such as Brazil, Ukraine, India and AFTER ALL, YOU'RE NOT JUST GETTING OLDER...
Science IV nection as well. Two University Mexico. YOU'RE GETTING PRESENTS!
of British Columbia researchers "Is there an Alberta advantage? To ua for your food and beverage credit, pl : :
I worked at hockey camps, like vol- who completed their PhDs at the No doubt about it—this is one of | Book 24hrs in advance...have 6 of more eae in your group...bring at least one piece of
picture |.D. ..birthday must occur within the calendar week...must be 19 years of age or older
unteering and helping the little kids U of A also won HHMI grants: the best places to be for science,”
and lots of summer programs help- Dr Brett Finlay, a leading medical said Rachubinski. “I love it here.”
ing little kids. I did some volunteer- Volunteer fair presents Notice to Students
ing work at Lister. The experience
Payment of Tuition Fees
was something different. I learned
a lot about responsibility. Lots of
work opportunities
this stuff was before I got my first
job so I was kind of getting adjusted
to what work life is before I ever The Fee Payment Deadline for the Winter term is
got paid. January 31,2002
Julian Cheung Registries. “All the agencies in the
NEWS STAFF fair are looking for people.”
Avoid line-ups by using the following convenient payment
The organizations participating
methods.
The International Year of in the 18-booth event will range
Volunteers may be over, but the from Capital Health Home Care to
demand for a helping hand is still the U of A International Centre. ¢VISA and Mastercard payments are now accepted
Khristianne constant. "Bach day the booths will be dif- on the internet at www.financial.ualberta.ca
Street The third annual SU Volunteer ferent, so you'll have to come both
- Payments can be made by students and non-students.
Engineering Fair will be held on 29 and 30 days to see them all.”
- Receipts will be available for viewing online and will be e-mailed
Ill January from 44:00am to 2:00pm, Langelier stresses the benefits
to the address provided
on the main floor of SUB. A total of that can be gained through volun-
I volunteered at the Safe Walk here 32 agencies from various Edmonton teering. :
at the University, and I also worked groups will be present to recruit "It's a nice way to gain practical ¢ Use Telephone or Internet Banking from your home.
as a candy striper at a hospital in new volunteers. experience for when you want to Available through the Bank of Montreal, CIBC, Nova Scotia, Royal,
my hometown for three years. You “It’s a nice way to gain apply for a job, and you can put Toronto Dominion.
get to meet a lot of new people that your work on a resume. You can
practical experience for when
you don’t normally meet through also get references this way."
¢ Pay in person at any Bank of Montreal branch.
classes, which is probably the best you want to applfyor aj ob, Information Registries also runs
part. You get to help other people and you can put your work a volunteer database, which can be
and make them smile. I’d have to found on the U of A web page. ¢ Deposit a cheque in the drop box.
on a resume.”
say [the most beneficial part of vol- "The agencies that are coming Located on the main and third floor of the Administration
unteering is] just sort of a sense of — Cheryl Langelier, associate [to the fair] are just a small per- Building.
pride. It’s hard to describe. You’re centage of what we actually have
director, Information Registries
helping other people and it just feels in our database,” says Langelier. Need information on the amount you owe?
good. "This is a great starting point "There's a great need for volun-
Visit www.financial.ualberta.ca for your account balance.
for students to talk to groups and teers right now."
find out about the various oppor- According to a Statistics Canada
tunities to volunteer, ” says Cheryl report, Canadians contribute over Student Receivables
Compiled by Financial Services
Langelier, Associate Director one billion volunteer hours per 3rd Floor Administration BuildingT6G 2M7 —-7 80-492-3000
James Johnson . (Information) for Information year.
NEWS
A Tue Gareway Thursday, 24 January, 2002
Bioethics group raises issues on campus SU Executive surprised by
introduction of revised bylaw
Kristine Owram to express their views about medi- leaps. Because of the explosion in
News STAFF cal issues,” said Vicaruddin, presi- the medical field, we must take
dent of the organization. a step back and analyze thought- “BYLAW“ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 lined powers for oversight boards
As technological advancements Presently, the group consists of fully the consequences and reper- But the small wording changes to retain final authority over fiscal
continue in the field of medicine, approximately 40 students who cussions of these issues,” said showed no concrete alteration of and legislative decisions made by
previously unheard of issues rang- come from various faculties and Vicaruddin. the document presented to council groups funded largely by dedicated
ing from cloning to stem-cell share a wide range of beliefs and While the U of A is not yet at their last meeting. “The bylaw fees. Each oversight board was
research are becoming the centre experiences. The group meets once involved in the training of medical that existed last week, I think it is proposed to include an SU-Vice
of many ethical debates. or twice a month to discuss prev- ethicists, Afzal believes it is an reasonable and I present it to you,” President, three Students’ Council
To draw attention to these issues, alent ethical issues in the field of important area for future educa- Speer told Council. members and three students-at-
a student group focused medical medicine. tion and research. “I believe that Amy Salyzyn, VP (Academic) large selected by an SU nominat-
ethics was started last year by The recent rise in interest regard- if the U of A wants to continue to said while the changes did not rep- ing committee.
U of A students Omair Vicaruddin ing medical ethics, including hiring be among the elite medical institu- resent all “of the substantial com- The new version of the bylaw also
and Sarfraz Afzal. of Alberta's first full-time medical tions in Canada, then it must begin ments received Friday night," she includes provision for appeal by
Vicaruddin and Afzal launched ethicist at the Royal Alexandra to develop this field and educate thought the bylaw was in good any dedicated fee group, an issue
the group as an attempt to give hospital last year, is something students so that public debate is enough form to pass. of concern brought up by members
interested students a voice among Vicarrudin attributes to the com- constantly stimulated,” said Afzal. Other councillors did not agree. of these groups at council's last
politicians, doctors, and heads of plexity of the ethical issues. In the future, the group also "This is not a rejection of the meeting.
companies. “Being on a campus “Although scientists and plans on organizing events fea- intention,” said Jones of the "{[Dedicated fee] units should
with some 30 000 students from researchers appear to have mas- turing guest speakers. They are reworded proposal. “It is an have an appeal process,” said
varying backgrounds and experi- tered the technical aspect of med- currently attempting to meet with amendment of the wording of the Jones.
ences, it became clear to me that ical technology, we as a society a bioethicist to discuss medical bylaw. This comes at the issue In the wording of the new docu-
these voices needed a mouthpiece have not caught up to their giant issues such as human cloning. from a different approach.” ment, groups or the oversight com-
Written in direct consultation mittee would be allowed to appeal
International Week to discuss global concerns
with affected groups such as to the Discipline, Interpretation,
APIRG, many councillors and and Enforcement Board “with
observers pounded their desks respect to interpretation of this
Tain lich human responsibility, and how the students will be dealing with them heavily to support the introduction bylaw.”
Sherisse Szymczak actions of everyday living impacts in future.” of the Engineer's bylaw. As well, the dedicated fee group
the world as a whole. The need This year, International Week Oversight boards in the new ver- would be allowed to present further
NEWS STAFF
for change will be addressed both will host more than 50 events, look- sion intend only to audit the finan- concerns to the Students’ Council
locally and internationally, featur- ing at the impacts of and the pre- cial affairs of dedicated fee groups. Appeals Advisory Board.
The International Centre is set ing diverse topics and keynote vention of ecological problems. According Jones’ new bylaw, board SU President Chris Samuel said
to launch their seventeenth annual speakers every day of the week. The first event is a water forum membership would include three as he had only received the docu-
International Week on Friday, with Nancy Hannemann, Global called “Global Water Crises: We SU councillors, as selected by ment during the council meeting,
the aim of informing students of Education Coordinator at the Are All Downstream,” featuring Students’ Council and three stu- he had not had the time to review its
the need to become more active, International Centre, said that the renowned U of A water researcher dents-at-large members selected wording and offer a “truly informed
involved members of their commu- theme was chosen because of the David Schindler and global activist by a nominating committee. opinion."
nities. growing concern for ecological Maude Barlow. During the week, "Realistically, this is not that Samuel took notice of the man-
Running from 28 January to issues. “Generally, we're con- issues to be addressed include different [from the original docu- date of council however, and recom-
4 February, the week's events will cerned about the future of the forestry, aboriginal environmental ment],” said Jones of his proposal. mended that the original document
represent a diverse collection of planet,” said Hannemann. “We knowledge, and a discussion on "However, it differs in philosophy; be forwarded to the SU Internal
important issues in the global com- realize our lifestyles are impact- activism. these groups are intended to only Review Board (IRB). Consequently,
munity. ing the ability of the earth to sus- For more information, pick up a have control over SU fees, [and] voting on the bylaw has been tabled
This year’s theme, “Living As If tain us. And it’s important for us copy of the International Week 2002 basically act as an auditor.” until the next council meeting,
the Planet Matters” takes a look at to learn about the issues, because booklet available across campus. The original version of 6600 out- 5 February.
“Ifaman empties his
DUFSE into his head,
take it away from him.
no one Can
An investment of
kn Owl ed pe always pays the best interest.”
~ Benjargin Franklin
The Students Union Access Fund
Since 1995, the University of Alberta Students’
Union has been the proud home to a unique initia-
tive a student-funded bursary program. This pro-
gram, called the Access Fund, has helped hundreds
of students who had nowhere else to turn | ish
their education through the disbursement of over
$2 million in bursaries. As an undergradiu
dent, you make this program possible th
contributions of $12.70 per term. alloca ted. from
your Students’ Union fees.
How do! apply?
To apply, pick up an application from the Stu-
dents’ Union receptionist (2-900 SUB) or the Stu-
dent Financial Aid and Information Centre (2-700
SUB) and personally book an interview with an They can do this online at the Access Fund web
Access Fund Administrator wherein your applica- site: www.su.ualberta.ca/access fund or at any Info
tion will be reviewed and any other relevant fund- Desks before he advertised deadline.
ing options will be discussed.
Forr theW inter2 002T erm, theopt-out
Winter 2002 Application Deadlines are:
4:30pm, February 1, 2002
:30pm, March 15,2 002 Ses etn Access Fund will not be
eligible fora bursary.
For more information phone or email the Access Fund Administrator at 492-4241 or [email protected]
Stop by the Access Fund office at 2-900 SUB. Visit the Access Fund webpage at www.su.ualberta.ca/accessfund
Thursday, 24 January, 2002 ADVERTISEMENT THE GATEWAY 5
Your Students’ Union is Recognizing Talented Teaching
inate Your
Favourite
Dance Motif 2002
Instructor
mmdmoa dnercne
Don't miss your chance to let an amazing instructor know that their talented
teaching matters. Nominate that professor or TA who has enhanced your
University learning experience for a Talented Teaching Award.
Friday,
January 25
Saturday,
January 26
8:00pm Curtain
Myer Horowitz
Theatre, SUB
University
of Alberta
Choreograp
by Orchesis
members and
faculty
ASE y . ; | Admission:
ve
8 in advance
Nomination forms available at: 2-900 SUB, CAB, HUB & SUB Info Booths ds.
: : ; $10 at the door
and on-line at www.su.ualberta.ca For more info email: [email protected]
(SUB Mall
= —_ ticket sales
January 21-25)
492.0770
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Jan. 28 for an information session on these great summer jobs!!
treadeaualberta.ca_
OPINION
THE GATEWAY Thursday, 24 January, 2002 [email protected]
_ EDITORIAL
New tobacco levy could be better spent
It is common knowledge that fund their campaign, which would
non-smokers believe smoking to include more education, a toll-free
be a personal choice that must be support line, and the employment
remedied by the individual smoker. of professional counselors to help
Not that non-smokers are without smokers quit. MONITORS
action; their ability to lobby has Unfortunately, the — coalition’s
been very effective to limit the plan of attack is only focused on
space designated for smoking, yet the psychological addiction to nic-
these actions have done nothing to otine—the actual physical aspect
help smokers in their fight against of cigarette addiction is being
their addiction. This is understand- largely ignored.
able, but shouldn't some of this lob- Help of any kind, despite the
bying effort be directed towards moral awkwardness of being
stop smoking at its source by help- funded by the sales of the very drug
ing to fight the addiction itself? to which smokers are addicted,
Thankfully, there’s a coalition is great, but this funding could
group who is fighting for the smok- be used so much more effectively.
ers, not against them, and is trying Smokers are already educated; the
to make effective progress against life-threatening repercussions are
tobacco. The coalition between the well known. What these educated
Alberta Tobacco Reduction Alliance smokers need is cost-free drug
and the Alberta Campaign for rehabilitation. The patch, the gum,
Action on Tobacco realizes that the and drugs such as Zyban have
majority of today’s smokers are been extremely effective in com-
educated to the harmful effects of bating the physical aspect of smok-
their addiction, and any further ing addiction. Using the majority of
education on this subject would their 150 million to provide these
be redundant. This first step in proven treatments free of charge
fighting tobacco addiction has been to all smokers wanting them could
completed, and now there currently have surprisingly positive results.
exists the perfect environment to Smoking can and will be a thing
fight the problem at its source. of the past if we approach this
Following the recommendations issue properly—not by ostracizing
of the Mazankowski Report, this smokers or providing them with " DonT\ WORRY So muci‘ , dicK!
coalition is asking the Alberta gov- information they already have, but
ernment to increase the charge by attacking the smoking issue THE MOMENT WE CROSS THE COUNTY Line
on a pack of 25 cigarettes by one at its source—the physical addic- \ ul
THEY CANT FOLLOW ANYNORE.
dollar. This dollar increase would tion.
net the province an additional
Marcus Bence
_ $450 million in cigarette revenue.
PHOTO EDITOR
The coalition wants this money to
LETTERS Rally event. anyway? I know I sure as hell microwave.
I would also like to apologize didn't. Did I vote in the last elec- Anyway, back in February 2000,
for the negative impression of tion? Yes, I did. I voted for some- when I was a first-year, Samuel
Defense of healthcare year the Alberta government sug- Engineering students we may have one who might have been a little was running for VP something and
gests it is running out of money to given to people who watched this less apathetic about the cost of promised my friends and that ifhe
report fully rhetorical
pay for healthcare is also the same performance. Our actions are not higher education. Mr Samuel is a got elected, he'd get another micro-
year tax cuts come into effect. It necessarily representative of the typical hypocritical, resumé-pad- wave for the basement of CAB. I
The release of the Mazankowski is also a fact that when we com- collective attitude of the students ding, fat-cat politician who would voted for him and he won. A year
Report on Alberta's healthcare pare the Canadian system to the of the Engineering faculty. rather flaunt his wealth and com- went by, and though my friends
system has generated a great deal US private/public system, we see plain about not being able to use a and I occasionally reminded him,
of both discussion and political that Canada spends about 414 per WHITNEY SOMERVILLE hair dryer because “it frizzes [his] he did nothing.
rhetoric on the future of healthcare cent of our GDP on healthcare com- PRESIDENT hair,” than do what he was elected February 2004 I ran into him
in Canada. pared to the 14 per cent of GDP the ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING CLUB to do. Meanwhile, we lower-class campaigning for SU president. I
Because we live in Alberta (the US spends. peasants have to scrounge money told him he broke the promise of
province soon to be re-named How can the private/public for food, books, etc; it turns my getting the microwave. He knew the
"Ralph's World”), one can expect system reduce costs if it will cost stomach. situation and apologized. He said
the slant of the discourse to follow society more in real dollars? It is I'mnot angry because Mr Samuel that if he won, the first thing on his
SU President should
the conservative agenda of greater also telling that the actual funding is privileged and I'm not. I'm agenda would be to get the micro-
privatization of all government ser- of healthcare in Alberta has only focus less on fashion angry because rather than have wave. He won again. I reminded
vices. Michael Colborne suggests recently reached and surpassed the cojones to stand up to those him some more. Still nothing.
that privatization of the healthcare the pre-1993 cuts by Ralph & Co in responsible for our ever rising fees, It's now late January 2002, and
system would benefit all Albertans a bid to ride the world of the evil So there I am on the bus, perus- he would rather discuss his fash- no microwave.
by limiting costs and improving debt monster. ing the 17 January issue of SEE ion prowess and “pizzazz.” Fuck Out of a 9 million dollar budget
efficiency (“Mazankowski report Clearly, the crisis in medicare Magazine, when I come to page off, Chris. for two years you'd think he'd find
a step in the right direction for is due more to a lack of interest 26. There, in all his crap-flew-out- Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm 300 bucks for another microwave.
healthcare,” 17 January). by the conservative government of-my-ass-ness, was our esteemed going to go eat my only meal for the Well Chris, it's been eleven months
This carefully worded right-wing to adequately fund and support President, Chris Samuel. The fea- day. since your last promise, maybe it's
economic rhetoric is translated any public systems. This debate is ture was entitled “(stil)n.” time you got off your ass and actu-
into plain English as job cuts and more about abdicating government According to Mr Samuel, he was HORATIO PAQUITA ally completed this first thing on
salary rollbacks to thousands. of responsibility rather than reduc- pictured wearing the following: | SCIENCE III your agenda.
support staff and medical practi- ing costs. shoes from Aldo: $100; suit: Hugo
tioners, and as reduced services Boss, $1000; shirt: Hugo Boss, $200; ROBERT LOGAN
for those people who can't afford TED LETOURNEAU tie: Hugo Boss, $100. PETROLEUM ENGINEERING III
to pay. Mr Colborne uses the same AGFor IV No wonder he’s not being the What about that
tired argument that reduced taxes activist he should be about tuition.
are needed to stimulate the econ- If I could afford to shop at Harry microwave, Samuel?
omy, increase jobs ... blah, blah, Rosen and have my hair done at Teachers should be
blah. Rhetoric. Sorry about all those Evelyne Charles Salons, I wouldn't Chris Samuel: you sir, are acam- .
Yes, these measures can and will give two shits about tuition either. paign-promise breaker. allowed to strike
stimulate the economy, but not by strippers... It‘s really hard to believe that Mr Like most students, I'm not that
much. The same year that both Samuel cares that post-secondary rich, so I bring food from home. This letter is a response to
the federal and provincial govern- On behalf of the Electrical education is becoming less and less Like most people, I like a hot meal Sabrina Pooke’s comments on the
ments implemented tax breaks is Engineering Club and its member- affordable for the lower classes better than a cold one. But if you've teacher strike ("In Your Opinion,”
also the same year that the econ- ship, I would like to apologize to when his family obviously doesn't seen the lineups in the basement of 29 January).
omy took a nose-dive. Clearly, tax anyone, and everyone, who was have to struggle to give their kids CAB for the microwave, you know I'm sorry that you feel your job
cuts didn't help much here. offended by the contribution of our an education. that you can spend over an hour in willbe so much more stressful than
It is also ironic that the same club to the Engineering Week CAB that of a teacher. Maybe you feel ~
RB §UGUIE CPLA SOE Ge EMULHULLAS
OPINION
Thursday, 24 January, 2002
ULTRAMEGA LETTER PARTY, CONTINUED
that holding the future of 30 stu- I would be very upset if my (or It will be 34 years this May since
dents in your hands isn’t stressful. my colleagues’) nationality, name, students in France, incited by a We reward
Or maybe missing out on time with background or intentions were mis- small core of frustrated and cre- QUALIFYING YOUNG DRIVERS
your family because you spend represented in the only review of ative radicals, initiated the campus * GOOD STUDENT DISCOUNT
your free time correcting papers my work—something which has riots which precipitated national ¢ MULTICAR DISCOUNT
and planning lessons doesn’t seem happened in the past. unrest and full-scale revolution. * DRIVER TRAINING
like a problem to you. Perhaps you could be more care- Could Mr Samuel be just such a rad- * MULTILINE DISCOUNT
Contrary to popular belief, teach- ful in future. If understaffing is a ical? The image of the glad-hand-
ing is a very stressful job that does problem, maybe you could canvas ing stuffed shirt that Mr Samuel
not end when the school day is the hundreds of Fine Arts students projects is surely an elaborate
done. While it is true that teachers who probably have a great deal to situationist-inspired intervention
TALK 10-US TODAY ABOUT HOW YOU CAN SAVE.
do not deal with life and death deci- contribute as reviewers (and could designed to awaken students from
UP TO 25* ON YOUR AUTO INSURANCE.
sions each day, they are no less use the free passes to. plays, gal- our complacent slumber. This
important than nurses. To say that leries and movies). I'd be the first week's Burlap Sack (22 January) Ted ByIrnst Ag cyltd
they do not deserve the same pay to volunteer. only serves my point. That wily
#200 5807-104 Street NW
as a nurse is wrong. Chris!
Edmonton, AB. creams may
Also contrary to what some MICHAEL COWIE If, however, I'm mistaken, then 780- 433-7200 ae
people may believe, nurses do MFA (DIRECTING) I hope, Mr Commander-in-Chief, _jennifenmiles: ce ghd a!
not become nurses on their own. DRAMA DEPARTMENT that the next time you're huffin’
Several years’ worth of quality and a-slurpin’ away behind closed
Like a good naahboue State Farm is there™ SAAT
teaching stand behind each nurse. doors (with smilin’ Rod Fraser, Bill
statefarm.com® aid
Also, teachers are responsible for Smith, or whomever), you choke
State Farm Mutual Automobile insurance Company INSURANCE Paes nuvi eg
the daily lives and futures of each Everyone’s crazy on one of those salty sticks before Canadian Head Office: Scarborough, Ontario... p91434 CN 06/01
of their students. They may be you have a chance to slip back into
the only thing standing between a bout that sharp- your tailored Hugo Boss.
student and suicide, university or
dressed man! @ Understanding Airfares
simply discovering what they want ANDREW LOEWEN
@ Rail & Bus Passes
to do with their lives. ARTS IV
Teachers have a profound effect Chris Boutet’s timely expose of @Working Holidays
on who we become, in many cases our Students’ Council Executive's @ HostellingTours & Packages
more than our own parents. To say stridently anti-democratic and
©@ Packing Tips
they should not be allowed to strike anti-activist mandate had me, once Hit-and-run
@ insurance & more!
is irresponsible. Nurses went on again, reflecting with anger and
strike even though their absence bemusement on _ the _ recent receives scorn
could have cost people their lives. Maclean’s magazine rankings of
But I guess the inconvenience and Canadian universities. This. letter is whole-heartedly ena saa 7 - 7:00pm
financial burden of ensuring a qual- Maclean‘s cites the strong activ- dedicated to the fuck who hit my
ity education for children is amuch ism of our Student Union as one of boyfriend Brian with his car today. | Education Building North Room 2-115 U of A
more horrible burden on society, the perks of U of Acampus life, and This person was so inattentive, |
Advance tickets $3.00. Tickets at the door are $5.00 and are subject to availability.
right? gives specific mention to our val- so idiotic and so morally bankrupt
Maybe you should evaluate what iant SU’s fight against tuition hikes that not only did he hit Brian
teachers did for you before saying (Thank goodness we can depend while talking on his cellphone and
at the |
they shouldn't have the same rights on Canada’s national news maga- running a red light, but he also
Student Travel Show! |
as any other profession. zine to tell it like it is.) drove away immediately, without
Leading this charge on our behalf so much as checking whether my Everything you need to make
NICOLE WIWAD is the Right Honourable Chris poor, sweet, muffin-cheeks had fin- tale a look around | your summer travel plans! |
SCIENCE IV Samuel, proudly bedecked in his ished bleeding to death or not.
dashing $4400 ensemble in the Wherever you peeled off to, Mr Tuesday, February 5th- 10am-3pm
current issue of SEE magazine. Red Car, I salute you, or I wish you
Students need not fear their chief dead. One of the two. SUB, UofA
A&E writers should elected representative is out of
touch with their daily realities how- KRISTIN BLINSTON SUB, U of A 492-2592
check their facts ever. No, Mr Samuel may be in Arts II
head-to-toe Hugo Boss most days <2TRAVELCUTS ~L~ i
I was a little surprised to see the of the week, but he keeps it so
headline “Brit’ director redefines realwith his self-professed “funky” Letters to the editor should be
the old-fashioned whodunit" above hairstyle and, occasionally, “a dif- dropped off at room 0-10 of the www. travelcuts. co m
your review for Gosford Park (45 ferent cut suit.” Students’ Union Building, or
January). But I would ask you to hold onto e-mailed to managing Where are you going
A lot of moviegoers know that your torches and froofroo-haired @su.ualberta.ca.
Altman is an American director effigies for a moment. Could this The Gateway reserves the right
who helped revolutionize the film arrogant mealy-mouthed jackass to edit letters for length and clarity,
industry in the ‘70s with films who spends his days in board- and to refuse publication of letters this summer?
like M*A*S*H and McCabe & Mrs. rooms pumping official hands on it deems racist, sexist, libelous, or
Miller. He has also had a lot of suc- our behalf really be just that—a otherwise hateful in nature.
cess in the ‘90s had hits with The smug opportunistic politician Letters to the editor should be no
Player and Short Cuts. sporting “eye-catching shirt[s]" longer than 350 words in length and Spend your summer earning credits abroad, learning
Essentially, he is up there with and a reassuring little soulpatch include the name, student ID, pro-
another language, experiencing new cultures, and
Scorsese, Coppola and Spielberg beneath his duplicitous lips? I gram, and year of study to be con- |.
as an influential American direc- submit not. sidered for publication. gaining an invaluable experience.
tors, but the article you printed
gives the impression that Altman SUPERPOLL 3000!
is British (leaving aside the fact Choose from 4 unique opportunities. Information
that Altman's co-producer is also sessions will be held on the following days:
American, and the “classic British
cinematography” was done by the
same man who did The Bodyguard
Lille, France - Thursday, Feb. 7 @ 12:30pm
and Monkey Bone, making it a Sweet fuck! What is wrong with you people? Do any
very American movie, despite the
of you bother to read this section? Is it so hard to
casting).
Natal, South Africa - Thursday, Jan. 10 @ 3:30pm
This sort of error can lead to a answer one fucking poll question per week? You all
lot of misinterpretation of the film make me sick! Anyhoo, today’s question is “Which of
Altman has directed. For readers
the following words do you like best: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Wednesday, Feb.6 @ 12:00pm
who know their film history, it can
affect their opinion of the Gateway's Chunks, Soggy, Used, or Plugged. Explain why.”
journalistic integrity, and for those Guadalajara, Mexico - Thursday, Jan.10 @12:30pm
who do not it might put them off the
- Friday, Jan.25 @ 12:00pm
film if they are biased against “Brit
Flicks.” LOG ON TO HTTP://WWW.UALBERTA.CA/~MMM/POLL.HTML
While I'm sure Mr Altman will TO SUBMIT YOUR RESPONSE! All Information Sessions are 50 minutes and
not feel slighted by the mistake
will take place at the International Centre
of a Canadian university newspa- Mark MclIntyre’s SuperPoll 3000! is a semi-regular feature that takes
per, this sort of oversight can have interest in you, the reader. That’s right, we care about you and your HUB International
serious consequences for local art- opinions. Please write as much or as little as you want in your response.
Sidewalk Level, door #9101
ists who depend on papers like the All respondents will retain anonymity, so Mark can’t get drunk, look
Tel: [phone]
Gateway to get exposure/publicity you up in the phone book, find you and wear your ass like a hat. Results
for their showings/performances/ will be published in a future issue of the Gateway.
exhibitions. As aF ine Arts student,
OPINION
8 THe Gareway
Thursday, 24 January, 2002
The cycle of madness continues The government can grow pot, why can't we?
anyone. I wouldn't dream of doubt- lation through parliament and do is because the majority of voters
ing Kenny Loggins, but "the high- whatever they want. The public, consider it to be a non-issue, espe-
way to the danger zone” doesn't however, can't grow pot because cially now. That seems to go with-
begin until those warm days of that's the law. Honestly, that’s the out saying these days, since most-
spring, when a case of “slush best reason I could think of. No people see it as a vice that should
bottom” has strangers offering wait, that’s the bullshit answer. remain outlawed while they return
immodium tablets, and as you ride Let’s look at some more plausible to their slot machine at the casino.
home to bury your shame in some explanations, shall we? Another point is that the govern-
Charles in Charge episodes, all the First of all, I'm highly skeptical ment is slow, in more ways than
Adam Houston Tyson Durst
slush has frozen over, leading to an when the government takes the one, and it would require alot of
even more shameful case of slip- moral high road saying that it cares time effort and money to waste
Yes, it is cold enough that my tes- pery death. Since 14 September, a number about my health. Personally, [think on bureaucracy that is instead
ticles are about ready to snap off No, it isn't some primal urge that of important issues have taken a they'd sell my organs to the high- being wasted on police resources.
and rattle out the leg of my jeans keeps me on two wheels. Quite back seat to discussions on terror- est bidder if it would significantly “What's that Bill? Terrorist threat?
like some sort of hideous anthro- aside from the lack of either hunt- ism, anthrax, and security mea- reduce the debt. That's going to have to wait. We've
pomorphic VLT machine where ing or gathering, it really isn't a sures ranging from more “rubber Some experts may say that smok- got a pot operation that needs to
everybody loses. This week alone, very macho endeavour. Frankly, I glove” tests, to implanting locator ing pot can lead to memory loss be introduced to a battering ram.
three acquaintances have con- can't see how subjecting myself to chips in people’s necks. But what and other mental defects—but so Let's roll!”
fessed in solemn, reflective tones the shrinkage that comes with —40- about issues that matter most to can excessive drinking, yet alcohol To speak in particular, British
that they've always really hated the degree windchill would result in Canadians? flows without impediment (insert Columbia could alleviate a ton
hardy winter cyclist. And Tuesday sweet CAB couch lovin’. I've oft tried "That's right, Tyson, we should second Ralph Klein joke here). of debt merely by legalizing and
I was ten more minutes late than to explain this, but people are reluc- be concerned about healthcare and There is a unit of the Vancouver taxing their number one industry
usual for my first class because tant to converse with a befrosted education!” someone. might say. police department specifically (that's not an exaggeration; pot
my sweaty hand got stuck to a individual mumbling through a And I would respond,-"No, you devoted to breaking down the doors beats forestry by a fair margin).
bike rack outside BioSci. Yet my mouthful of balaklava. Well, that’s fool!” Because today I'd like to talk and throwing the vile lords of pot When you have a store at West
cycle—of madness, if you will— why there's Safewalk, I guess. about marijuana with regard:to the into the slammer while shipping Ed devoted to selling bongs and
continues. Really, biking isn’t actually that pathetic double standard that the their seizure to Manitoba to help hemp accessories, is it not time to
And quite honestly, I don't see great. It's very cold. My primary government has in place, spear- someone with chronic pain or ill- start looking at some good old-fash-
why there aren't more velocipede motivation is that biking is the only headed by our brilliant ex-Health ness. Does anybody else see a ioned common sense? I think the
enthusiasts over the winter thing that keeps me sort of on time Minister, Allan Rock. problem here? I think that one of world could use a good dose of this
months. Yes, as callers to 630 Ched to class. Until I'm no longer a low- I will admit I've smoked a few the main reasons the government common sense that I speak of. Or
(possibly our mayor) keep insist- income student paying $50 a month joints—and inhaled—but I has dragged its heels on this issue maybe I'm just an evil pot lackey.
ing, our city could indeed change for the privilege of being fondled wouldn't describe myself as a
its name to “Coldmonton." But why inappropriately at the Southgate chronic pothead by any stretch. No, Dave Alexander's TOP TEN
do so many erstwhile cyclists take bus terminal, and I become a low- I like to leave the substance abuse
this to heart? The campus-scape is income senior who gets the same to Ralph Klein (I'm sorry; it's just Signs you're a questionable scientist
dotted with derelict Huffy’s, aban- privilege for only $40 per year, too easy). I don't really intend to
doned in what looks like an aborted when they're too old to enjoy said devote my life to the marijuana cru-
10 Your degree is technically in Scientology.
attempt to invade Moscow. Now, touching anyway, I'm not stooping sade, but as is often the case, the 9 You wrote a doctoral thesis on the Chemical Brothers.
I'm not a member of that class to ETS. And seeing as I am not cur- government is doing something that
8 You apply for a grant to buy a DeLorean so you can
of hardcore cyclists whose asses rently starring in some unauthor- is just too idiotic to be ignored. test out‘the Flux Capacitor you’ve been working on.
are bonded with lycra on the cel- ized sequel to Dr Zhivago, I'm not As you may or may not be aware,
7 There’s a disturbing chart in your lab called the
lular level. Nor have I jumped over going to make the tedious Siberian the government has set up its own “Periodic Table of Excrements.”
anything remotely resembling a trudge. medicinal marijuana operation in 6 Your body of work is pretty much limited to baking
log. Yet I know as long as you're So, while I'd like to say I'm doing . Manitoba using confiscated mate-
soda and vinegar volcanoes.
dressed sensibly, if, by default, it to win Mother Earth's fleeting rials. Our leaders seem to have
5 You hear talk of different types of “beakers,” but you’re
unfashionably, the ride to school love, I really do it because it’s finally overcome their 4100-year pretty sure there was only one on the Muppet Show.
shouldn't turn into an ill-fated simply the most efficient way to time delay and realized that pot is You studied under Bill Nye, Science Guy, PhD.
Franklin-esque expedition. get to school. So please keep your no worse than alcohol, cigarettes, You haven’t bothered finding out about DNA or RNA
Aside from appropriate apparel, tired epithets to yourself as I ride and the tons of pollution spewed because you hate rap.
there are two rules to abide: 14) by. And I'll be quiet now—at least into the atmosphere each year.
NwSa r Science shmience, you’re into “sci-fience,”” hence
try not to turn, and 2) try not to until those slope-browed scrotum- However, a double standard has the bitchin rocket shoes.
use your brakes. “But what about wrinkles who ride their bikes three emerged that should be fairly obvi-
I When someone asks what Brownian Motion is, you
the ice?,” you apparently say. Well, days a year take all up all the ous: the government can grow pot demonstrate by shitting your pants.
when it's —20 degrees outside, the prime rack space. Yes, there is for medicinal purposes, because
ice is too cold to want to bother such a thing as prime rack space. they can ram just about any legis-
SHAKESPEGATE, {t’?S NOte
Coredy or Tragedy?
Vow AGCIAGeee
on Sustainable Urban Transit
in Ottawa May 10-14, 2002
Make a difference! Count yourself in!
Alberta will be sending youth delegates, 17-24 years of age,
to Ottawa to participate in this exciting conference.
For more information, and to find out how YOU could become a
delegate, contact us at 496-1611 or www.goforgreen.ca Sxit Night 2,002,
Featuring House Band: Suction
ETS
Saturday February 2, 2002
Doors: 7pm
Edmonton Transit System
Dinwoodie Lounge
Owned and Operated by The City of Edmonton
No minors
Tickets: $5 Advance, $6 At the Door
Available at
cuta why actu
Dentistry Lounge (Dent Pharm)
Canadian Urban Transit Association The Fishbowl (Med Sci)
jati: di du transport urbain SUB Info Desk
OPINION
Thursday, 24 January, 2002 Tae Gateway 9
Teachers’ strike good; Alberta stupid
positive that it's not my house. flocking to the US for better pay?
No, nowadays I support the idea Now we're being given the opportu-
of the impending teachers’ strike nity to actually keep these people
for much a less selfish reason: right here in Alberta, and yet
teachers deserve a wage that the letters’ section of Edmonton's
reflects the stress and dedication papers are rife with people calling
that the position requires. the teachers “greedy,” “ungrateful”
Really, teachers are like air traf- and “definitely nothing like air traf-
fic controllers, except instead of fic controllers.”
Chris Boutet directing planes, they direct kids. It seems to me that, while the
And they work in a classroom, not general public likes the concept of
About eight million years ago, a tower. Oh, and they don't get an education system, and having
when I was a student at Salisbury to wear headphones and hang out teachers within that system—but
Composite High School in with John Cusack and Billy Bob they don't want to pay for it.
Sherwood Park, I would have given Thornton. And instead of “pushing Which, while intrinsically stupid, yk
the left half of my ass for a teach- tin,” they're “pushing failed meta- is certainly not on the outside of
ers’ strike. As it was always an phors.” : the box when it comes to Alberta’s Stress & Tension Be Gone!
interest of mine to avoid going to general hatred for unions and any-
It seems to me that, while
classes as often as possible, it thing that doesn’t have to do with
would have been great to actually the general public likes the oil.
have a union-sanctioned reason to concept of an education What really makes any oppo- t
sit at home and play Jumpman system, and having teachers sition to a salary increase for Student Counselling Services is offering an
8-session group to individuals with an
until my brain oozed lazily out Alberta’s teachers completely
within that system—but interest in developing relaxation techniques
of my ears and I swallowed my retarded is the fact that, back when
tongue. they don’t want to pay for it. the Oilers were threatening to leave
Groups start on January 22nd and 25th
Don't get me wrong; I loved being town, the good people of Edmonton
forced to get up at 8:00am sol could But maybe they could do all those couldn't tear open their wallets
get into pretending to care about things if we paid the teachers of and throw money in the general |
pipettes and correcting my calcu- this province a salary that afforded direction of the Oilers’ head office
lations for the meniscus therein. them more than a log of baloney fast enough. And more recently,
But let’s face it, Chemistry 30 sucks and some mustard once a month. Alberta has set up a lottery meant
more than having fifty suns made Alright, that’s a little extreme, to offset the costs of keeping the
out of razors supernova in your but a teacher's pay is certainly not Flames’ and Oilers’ hockey organi-
mind. what it should be for everything zations in the province.
But all images of exploding high- they do. But, apparently, asking for Now, if I am to understand that
school courses aside, I still stand a pay raise in Alberta is harder the fate of the Oilers is more impor-
by the idea of a full-out teachers’ than asking for a taco salad at tant to our province than the wel-
strike, but for what is now a largely Japanese Village. fare of the very people who ensure
different reason—because hey, I Which is funny, really. How many the well-being and proper educa-
don't need a strike to miss school years ago was it now that Canada tion of our youth, then, Jesus; I
now that I've given my soul away to was wailing on and on about the don't know what to tell you. Maybe
this cursed newspaper. I don't even tragedy of the “brain drain” phe- the teachers of Alberta aren’t doing
know what building my classes nomenon, in which Canadian schol- a good enough job if this is what
are in anymore, although I'm fairly ars, professors and teachers were passes for logic.
A brief and untrue history of Pizza Pops ~ Boun Thai ~ Golden Triangle ~ Mikado Japanese ~ Side Track Café
~ Cafe Puccini ~ Grab A Bite ~ Moxies ~ Sorrentino's
~ The Cheese Factory ~ Highlevel Diner ~ New Asian Village ~ Symposium
~ Continental Treat ~ lron Horse Eatery ~ Normand's ~ The King & I
~ Boun Thai ~ Joey's Only Seafood ~ Osaka ~ Tony Roma's
~DaDeO ~ Khazana Tandoori ~ Rigoletto's ~ Tropika
met little success in the 1500s, as of a lot of smoke. When the smoke ~ Fiore ~ Louisiana Purchase ~ Sahara Sands ~ Turtle Creek Café
did attempts at conjuring the treats cleared, he stole the idea for Pizza 944-9933
through pagan incantations. These Pops from competing Polish inven-
techniques were discarded. tor and genius Nikoli Tesla, who
Attempts at making the treats had rediscovered the tasty treats www.dialanddine.ca
using stale bread, sour milk, and while reading an old issue of Poland
For your free guide email us at: [email protected]
rotten tomatoes in the 1600s by this Week. Tesla later died pen-
Italian peasants were surprisingly niless and homeless, though not
successful, but knowledge of the before punching Edison in the —
Neal Ozano techniques and formulas were face.
suppressed by the Vatican when From there, Pizza Pops exploded
religious scholars found they con- into pop culture. Ragtime jitter-
Since time immemorial, man has tradicted Astroboy 4:41, 2-8 of the buggers could be seen phagocytos-
longed for, though rarely procured, King James Bible: ing the sludge-filled pockets and
Pizza Pops. That’s right. Those And there came a decree from going out of their minds, enticing
sludge-filled pockets of slimy red Batman that all pizza-flavoured the governments of Canada and the
cheese and surprisingly unspicy treats would be tossed into the pit United States to prohibit their sale
pepperoni have taunted the souls of perpetual unholiness or fed to and consumption in 1920.
of men since sticks and sticks with lepers, that God might see fit to But backroom Pizza-Pop stills |
rocks tied to them were currency. cure them if they survived. continuedt o produce, andanentire |
Little known to the primordial Since the scholars had‘ no idea underground criminal network |_~
mind was the fact that a very sim- what the quote from the Bible sprang up to produce and sellthem | _~
ilar meal existed in the form of meant, they assumed it was anti- at hugely inflated prices to the |
rodents. Baked (or microwaved), pop, and proceeded to destroy all bourgeois elite of the Roaring ‘20s.
these little creatures had more taste evidence of the after-school snacks Jimmy "the Sauce” Carleone ran |__
and texture, and, when unpeeled, in order to appease Pope Jack, who 90 per cent of the Pizza-Pop trade
tasted much better than their per- was severely lactose-intolerant. in the eastern United States and
petually-unavailable McCain coun- Canada, until Elliot Ness and his
In Homer’ Odyssey, Hera,
terparts. They also tickled more. team of “untouchable” federal
Needless to say, Pizza Pops were the Greek goddess ofj unk agents brought his empire to its Winter Term Tuition a)
soon forgotten, and lost to early food, once offered a pizza knees after discovering his hidden
man for millennia. sauce facility in suburban Ohio and is Due January 31 —
pop to Hercules in return.
Greek philosophers pondered the destroying it in a show of federal
for a bag of celery, but
ancient problem of pizza-pop for- might.
mation. Did the Gods have Pizza Hercules, according to Eventually, the government legal- If you have not yet received your
Pops? Did they ever offer them to folklore, turned her down. ized the consumption of Pizza Pops
man? In Homer's Odyssey, Hera, the again, on the stipulation that pro- student loan and need it to pay your
She then proceeded to kill
Greek goddess of junk food, once ducers no longer added extracts of _ Fees, stop by SFAIC for assistance.
Newton and Toot in front of
offered a Pizza Pop to Hercules crack cocaine, which was the main
in return for a bag of pretzels, him, making him cry. draw of the bland snacks during
but Hercules, according to folklore, prohibition.
turned her down. She then pro- Again, as time went on, knowl- Of course, this entire article is
ceeded to kill Newton and Toot in edge of Pizza Pops was lost to the utter nonsense. Why aren't you
front of his eyes, making him cry. ages, until in 1899 when Thomas studying? Don't you people real-
Alchemical experiments aimed Edison, while inventing the first ize that you have less than three
at creating Pizza Pops from electric toaster oven, dropped a weeks until your first batch of mid-
common and more-readily avail- pita, some spaghetti sauce, and terms start? Throw this paper on
able-elements such as tead or iron ~ ~some-cheeisnet o it-creatinga h ell’ ~ tHé'ffobf MBit’ ow! *
ADVERTISEMENT
40 The Gareway Thursday, 24 January, 2002
Student Involvement
Recognition Awards
The Students’ Union provides awards to those students Each applicant or nominee is required to submit:
1. Acompleted application form
who have made significant contributions to the improve-
2. Arecent transcript, if necessicary z
ment of the quality of student life on campus through 3. A brief two page resumé,
involvement in clubs, fraternities, faculty associations, vol- 4. ‘Two letters of reference and
5. A three hundred word statement explaining why they qualify for the award.
unteerism, and leadership at the University of Alberta and
(500 words for Award of Excellence)
throughout the community.
All Applicants must be full members of the Students’ Union. Application forms are
available at the reception desk at 2-900 SUB, CAB, SUB and HUB Info Booths, Faculty
Complete Application Package Deadline: Monday, Association Offices and www.su.ualberta.ca. Only one application form is required for all
awards, (with the exception of the SU Award for Excellence and the Sos key Award)
February 4, 2002, 5:00 p.m. Submit to 2-900 SUB. up to a maximum of three awards.
Alberta Treasury Branches Involvement Award* Hilda Wilson Volunteer Recognition Award tion at the University of Alberta who has made an
($500.00 award) ($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and an outstanding contribution to the students they represent;
Must be enrolled in a business related program (ie. B. engraved plaque) demonstrate strong leadership skills; academic standing
Com., B.A. in Economics) and a Canadian Citizen who Must be a volunteer member of the Students’ Union at the is a consideration in determining the winner.
has been a resident of Alberta for 5 years. Priority will University of Alberta or a community service organization;
be given to students in financial need. Must include a demonstrate a sincere dedication to others. Students’ Union Award For Excellence*
copy of most current transcript with application. ($1500.00 and a medallion)
Hooper-Munroe Academic Award* Must be in their graduating year, have attained a mini-
Anne Louise Mundell Humanitarian Award ($400.00 award) mum GPA of 7.5 in ten (10) full courses, or their
($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and Must possess the highest GPA with a minimum nine credits equivalent taken within the previous two (2) years, be
an engraved plaque) obtained during Spring/Summer term of all of those who involved in extra-curricular activities in the University
Must be involved in charity/volunteer work and be an apply and must not have previously received this award. and/or community, demonstrate an ability to work well
active member of a club contributing to the develop- Must include a copy of most current transcript with applica- with students, staff, and the general public. Must include
ment of the arts and culture on campus. tion. a copy of most current transcript with application.
Cristal Mar Memorial Award Java Jive Merchants Ltd Award Tevie Miller Involvement Award
($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and ($500.00 award) ($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and
an engraved plaque) Must combine service to the community and campus an engraved plaque)
Must be a full-time student who has contributed to the involvement, demonstrate leadership qualities and have a Must be an active member of a club or association at
greater campus community and demonstrates compas- satisfactory academic standing. the University of Alberta and demonstrate strong leader-
sion towards fellow students. Priority will be given to ship skills. The candidate may not receive a salary or
students involved in a campus safety organization. Lorne Calhoun Award honorarium from the said club or association.
($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and an
_ Dean Mortensen Award engraved plaque) Tom Lancaster Award
($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and Must have been an active member in a University of ($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and
an engraved plaque) Alberta club and/or Faculty Association; and not have previ- an engraved plaque)
Must show strong participation and leadership in ously received this award. Must have made an outstanding contribution to student
campus recreation and intramural programs and have life on campus through dedication and strong commit-
contributed toward a safer and more secure campus Maimie Shaw Simpson Book Award ment to others and have shown active involvement and
atmosphere. ($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and an leadership in the Students’ Union through volunteer
engraved plaque) work or participation within a Students’ Union club or
Dr. Randy Gregg Athletics Award Must have made an outstanding contribution to campus service.
($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and life through hard work and leadership; preference will be
an engraved plaque) given to those who have made an outstanding contribution Walter A. Dinwoodie Award |
~ Must be involved in athletics, demonstrate strong lead- to the advancement of women on this campus. ($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and
ership skills, and contribute to student life at the Univer- an engraved plaque)
sity of Alberta. Royal Bank Financial Group Involvement Award" Must have made an outstanding contribution to student
($500.00) life through active volunteer work for a public service
Eugene L. Brody Award* Must demonstrate a combination of volunteerism, leader- club registered with the Students’ Union and/or a Stu-
($750.00, $150.00 U of A Bookstore Gift Certificate and ship and participation, both on campus and in the greater dent Union Service. Persons who receive a salary, hono-
an engraved plaque) Edmonton community. Must include a copy of most current rarium, or any other monetary remuneration for their
Must have made a valuable contribution in extra-curric- transcript with application. work in the above organizations shall not be eligible to
ular campus activities; academic standing is a consider- receive this award.
ation in determining the winner. Must include a copy of Royal Bank Student Faculty
most current transcript with application. Association Involvement Award* * Transcript required. Please note that transcripts can
(only one $500.00 award will be given) take up to five days.
Must be an executive member of a student faculty associa-
UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA
For further information contact Thea Varvis, Academic Affairs Coordinator
at 2-900 SUB, 492-4236, [email protected]