The Friendships of Women

309 Pages·2016·0.94 MB·English

by  Alger William Rounseville

Project Gutenberg’s The Friendships of Women, by William Rounseville Alger
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www.gutenberg.org Title: The Friendships of Women

Author: William Rounseville Alger

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*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FRIENDSHIPS
OF WOMEN ***

Produced by Edmund Dejowski

THE FRIENDSHIPS OF WOMEN.
THE
FRIENDSHIPS OF WOMEN
BY
WILLIAM ROUNSEVILLE ALGER.
A GENTLE BUSINESS AND BECOMING
THE ACTION OF GOOD WOMEN.
Shakespeare.

BOSTON:
ROBERTS BROTHERS.
1868.

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1867 by WILLIAM
ROUNSEVILLE ALGER,
In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the District of Massachusetts.

CAMBRIDGE:
STEREOTYPED AND PRINTED BY JOHN WILSON AND SON.
TO
ANNA CABOT LODGE,
A TRUE AND GENEROUS FRIEND,
THIS BOOK
IS INSCRIBED WITH THE DEEPEST SENTIMENTS OF ESTEEM
AND GRATITUDE

PREFACE.

A STATEMENT of the facts in which this book began may gratify the curiosity
of some of its readers.

While gathering materials for a History of Friendship, I was often struck both by
the small number of recorded examples of the sentiment among women, which
were discovered in my researches, and by the commonness of the expressed
belief, that strong natural obstacles make friendship a comparatively feeble and
rare experience with them.
Spurred by further thought, as well as by many talks, I kept on exploring the
subject. At length, so much matter was mustered that I determined to insert in
my work a distinct chapter on the Friendships of Women. Still the subject grew
in interest for me, and the bulk of historic illustration swelled beyond the size of
a chapter. Then I decided to make a little treatise of it by itself.

The principle and sentiment of friendship deserve a much larger share of the
attention given, alike in the life and the literature of our time, to the passion of
love. One would infer from most of the popular writings of the day, that love is
the only emotion worthy of notice. But surely there are in human nature other
feelings, which demand far more culture than they generally receive, feelings
which really play an important part in human life, and which ought to play a still
more important part. Am I deceived in thinking, that, in particular, the place of
friendship in the Live; of women is a subject which, if soundly discussed, and set
forth with mastery and sympathy, may give precious guidance, comfort, and
inspiration to thousands of embittered and languishing souls? Will not the large
number, who are denied the satisfactions of impassioned love, be grateful for a
book which shows them what rich and noble resources they may find in his
book which shows them what rich and noble resources they may find in his
widely different, though closely kindred, sentiment? Is not such a book
especially needed at he present time?

In method of treatment, I have, without neglecting moral analysis or reflective
exposition, even greater prominence to biographic narrative, living presentation
of instances from which the reader may draw the befitting lessons of the topic,
and apply them for personal profit. Poetry, it has been said, is balm on the
wounds of non-fulfilment in our lives. When our own experience and
imagination are wanting in that balm, we must borrow it from others. If we
muse, with open heart, on the enthusiastic dreams and fruitions of more richly
impassioned or more happily placed natures, the contagious glow of their
affections may enkindle ours. This is one of the highest uses of art, a use which
puts on artists the duty of setting before their patrons sights of righteousness and
bliss, trust and peace, rather than sights of wretchedness, wrangling, doubt, and
error.

In conjoined importance and interest, to those who have a taste for it, no other
study can compare with the study of human nature and human experience, as
illustrated in individual examples. If the students are curious as to the secrets of
greatness, and are emulous of excellence, the attraction is enhanced when they
deal with persons of extraordinary powers and careers. It then becomes
fascinating.
Beautiful and noble characters can find nothing so enchanting as a beautiful and
noble character. It was truly said by Vauvenargues, “Sooner or later, we enjoy
only souls.” These pages will present portrayals of a large number of charming
souls, with accounts of their happiest experiences. For our poor human heart,
there will always be a bewitchment about the memories of those persons who
were either remarkable for their power of drawing affection or were signalized
by their enjoyment of the boon. Many a rare character, otherwise long ago
consumed in the alembic of time, will long continue to be fondly singled out and
studied. So when the famous Marchioness of Salisbury was accidentally burned
to death, the Skeleton was known as hers only by the jewels with which she had
been decked.
It may be dangerous to overlook ignorantly what is false and hateful in society;
but it is pernicious to pick out such objects for exclusive or permanent scrutiny.
The most wholesome results are likely to be secured by the fastening of our
attention prevailingly on what is true and fair and blessed in our fellow-beings.
Such a choice will commend itself to the best spirits; for, while it is the
spontaneous movement of a mean nature to contract and swoop, a generous
nature prefers to expand and soar. The vulture pounces on rottenness with a cry
of obscene satisfaction; but the lark seeks the sunrise with a song of worship. So
let the ingenuous mind, studying human character and life, bestow a shunning
glance at evil, a fixed gaze on good. So, should any one wish to write a history
of the enmities of women, for which, doubtless, the materials are ample, I
willingly yield him the task, appropriating only the privilege of doing justice to
their friendships.

In the present volume, my first and constant purpose has been boldly to state the
truth just as it is, to do justice to the facts of the subject. My second purpose has
been to be of use, to give help and comfort. In whatever degree poetry and ideal
sentiment may be accompaniments, neither of them has in any sense been made
an aim of the work. While freely allowing his mind to shine into his pen, and his
heart to flow through it, the writer has adopted every precaution to prevent or
correct all those refractions of ignorance and prejudice, and all that coloring of
morbid sentimentality, which would stand in the way of truth and use. In treating
such a theme as friendship, the worst dangers are hardness and levity on the one
extreme, exaggeration and mawkishness on the other, and cowardice and
squeamishness between. These faults, it is hoped, are not chargeable on the
following pages.

This book is a book of goodness. It is devoted to the nurture of those benign
virtues which it so plainly shows waiting on and winning the best beauty and joy
of the world. Small causes can bring about great effects, when time and facts
conspire to help them. A cocoanut, tossed by the waves into a little sand on a
rock amidst the ocean, has been known to strike root, and to form the centre of a
luxuriant island of palms. Unable to look for any such striking result from the
influence of this work, I shall be happy, indeed, if the power of the examples to
influence of this work, I shall be happy, indeed, if the power of the examples to
which I have here given voice shall demonstrate the other side of the deep
thought penned by Shakespeare: One good deed, dying tongueless, Slaughters a
thousand waiting upon that.