Table Of Content

i THE ETHICS OF LOVE This book explores the ethical and psychological dilemmas connected to the lived experiences of love, uniquely proposing an ethical framework that can be applied in loving relationships. The book provides an introduction to the study of ethics, moral psychology, and ancient philosophy. Examining key themes of love, such as unconditional love, romantic love, anger, desperation, and fairness, this book offers the reader a way to exercise and strengthen their personal critical thinking on ethical dilemmas, especially in relation to loving feelings. The author believes that ethics is the heart of love in the same way as logic is the brain of reasoning; we do not need ethics to love but we can love in a much healthier way if we train our ethical skills to love. After laying the theoretical framework for the book, chapters are organized into themes relating to ethical problems and begin with an exemplary piece from Greek and Latin literature. Using these writings as a starting point, Susi Ferrarello discusses whether it is possible to have a sound ethical theory of love, especially in cases relating to justice, despair, and rage, and demonstrates how this framework can be applied in new and established relationships. Filled with case studies throughout, spiritual exercises are listed at the end of chapters to help the reader increase their understanding of love and their ethical choices surrounding emotional dilemmas. This interdisciplinary book is essential reading for undergraduate and graduate students who take classes on ethics, marriage and family therapy, psychology, philosophy, classics, ancient philosophy, and politics, as well as those interested in the ethics of love and emotional decision- making. Susi Ferrarello is assistant professor at California State University, East Bay. She is also a philosophical counselor and writes for Psychology Today. Among her recent books are Human Emotions and the Origin of Bioethics (Routledge, 2021) and The Role of Bioethics in Emotional Problems (Routledge, 2021). ii “In a world filled with superficial portrayals of love and ethics, Susi Ferrarello beau- tifully engages their intricacies. The Ethics of Love pushes the reader to think more deeply about anger, choice, tragedy, unconditionality, and meaning. Ferrarello’s use of case illustrations, classic literature, practical application, and reflective exercises make the book accessible and highly enjoyable. I highly recommend it!” Louis Hoffman, PhD, Licensed Psychologist and Executive Director of the Rocky Mountain Humanistic Counseling and Psychological Association; Editor, Humanistic Approaches to Multiculturalism and Diversity “Dr Ferrarello’s The Ethics of Love is an elegant and meaningful exploration. She uses mythology, philosophy, and relatable case examples interwoven to facilitate an exploration of themes associated with the suffering, pleasure, and power of love. Throughout, the reader becomes acquainted with the universality and nuances of love and the ethical responsibility we all have in our treatment of those who are close to us. Ferrarello’s command in depth and breadth of sources and her cre- ativity in bringing them together is a delight. It is a treasure— integrating a rich tapestry of philosophy, myth, and clinical work that is thought-p rovoking, relatable, and engaging throughout.” Nicolle Zapien, PhD, LMFT, Professor, California Institute of Integral Studies; Candidate, Psychoanalytic Institute of Northern California ii “What can we learn from ancient philosophy and, especially, from Greek mythology? A practical way of life. In this extraordinary book, Susi Ferrarello brings the reader through a journey of myths and persons, human experiences, and philosophical interrogations, in search of the meaning of every form of love. Through the stories of her clients, the author unveils the ethical framework of every affective relationship, recalling not merely the vulnerability of human beings, but also her resilient ability to stand for what matters in life.” Francesca Brencio, Philosopher, University of Seville, Spain iii THE ETHICS OF LOVE Emotional Dilemmas for a Relational Life Susi Ferrarello ii iv Cover image: © Getty Images First published 2023 by Routledge 605 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10158 and by Routledge 4 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon, OX14 4RN Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business © 2023 Susi Ferrarello The right of Susi Ferrarello to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe. Library of Congress Cataloging- in- Publication Data A catalog record has been requested for this book ISBN: 9781032118192 (hbk) ISBN: 9781032118185 (pbk) ISBN: 9781003221654 (ebk) DOI: 10.4324/ 9781003221654 Typeset in Bembo by Newgen Publishing UK v Dedicated to: Carmen, Elena, Emmanuelle, mia madre vi vii CONTENTS Introduction 1 1 Love or Luck? 10 Introduction 10 I. Cristina 11 II. Penelope and Odysseus: The Characters 14 III. How Can We Distinguish Love from Friendship? 19 Conclusion 24 Ethical Takeaway 25 Exercises 25 Notes 26 Bibliography 28 2 Rage or Integrity? The Wrath of Our Ethical Choice 30 Introduction 30 I. The Good and the Rageful in the Homeric Poems 31 II. Today’s Interpretation of Achilles’ Wrath: Showcase 39 Conclusion 44 Ethical Takeaway 45 Exercises 45 Notes 49 Bibliography 51 viii viii Contents 3 Does Love Matter for Justice? 52 Introduction 52 I.1. The Good and the Brave 53 I.2. The Glorious and the Right 57 I.3. Moira’s Story 58 II.1. The Paradox of Amor Pius versus Dira Cupido: Friendship 60 II.2. Philosophy of Friendship 62 II.3. Amor Pius versus Dira Cupido: Care 66 Conclusion 69 Ethical Takeaway 70 Exercises 70 Notes 71 Bibliography 73 4 Does Tragedy Matter for Love? 75 Introduction 75 I. The Meaning of Tragedy 76 II. What Does It Mean to Lose the Sense of Tragedy? 80 III. Tragedy, Antigone, and a Peculiar Blindness 84 Conclusion 88 viii Ethical Takeaway 88 Exercises 88 Notes 89 Bibliography 90 5 Unconditional Love or Healthy Boundaries? 91 Introduction 91 I. Ismene’s Unconditional Love for Her Sister 92 II. Agape and the Christian Tradition 98 III. Humanistic Psychology 108 Conclusion 114 Ethical Takeaway 115 Exercises 115 Notes 116 Bibliography 118 6 What Would an Ethics of Love Look Like? 122 Introduction 122 I. The Boundaries Between Love and Ethics 123 II. Christian Ethics of Love: Utilitarianism 126 III. Reflection on These Three Moral Schools 135 nixewgenprepdf Contents ix Conclusion 142 Notes 143 Bibliography 145 Glossary 150 Appendix A 152 Index 155 viii