The Complete Mind Makeover: Transform Your Life and Achieve Success

144 Pages·2005·0.43 MB·English

by  Ros Taylor

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CCOOMMPPLLEETTEE
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MMIINNDD
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TRANSFORM
YOUR LIFE AND
ACHIEVE SUCCESS
ROS TAYLOR
AS SEEN IN THE SUCCESSFUL BBC TWO
TV SERIES CONFIDENCE LAB
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ECOMPLETE
H
T
MIND
MAKEOVER
ii (cid:1)
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ECOMPLETE
H
T
MIND
MAKEOVER
TRANSFORM
YOUR LIFE AND
ACHIEVE SUCCESS
ROS TAYLOR
London and Sterling, VA
Publisher’s note
Every possible effort has been made to ensure that the information contained in
this book is accurate at the time of going to press, and the publishers and author
cannot accept responsibility for any errors or omissions, however caused. No
responsibility for loss or damage occasioned to any person acting, or refraining
from action, as a result of the material in this publication can be accepted by the
editor, the publisher or the author.
Previously published in Great Britain as Transform Yourselfin 2000 by Kogan Page
Limited
First published in Great Britain and the United States as The Complete Mind Makeover
in 2005 by Kogan Page Limited
Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or crit-
icism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988,
this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by
any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of
reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms and licences issued by the
CLA. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside these terms should be sent to the
publishers at the undermentioned addresses:
120 Pentonville Road 22883 Quicksilver Drive
London N1 9JN Sterling VA 20166-2012
United Kingdom USA
www.kogan-page.co.uk
© Ros Taylor, 2005
The right of Ros Taylor to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted
by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
ISBN 0 7494 4454 1
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Taylor, Ros.
[Transform yourself!]
The complete mind makeover : transform your life and achieve success
/ Ros
Taylor.— 1st ed.
p. cm.
Originally published: Transform yourself! London : Kogan Page, 2000.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-7494-4454-1
1. Self-actualization (Psychology) 2. Success. I. Title.
BF637.S4T396 2005
158––dc22
2005018617
Typeset by Saxon Graphics Ltd, Derby
Printed and bound in Great Britain by Bell &Bain, Glasgow
Contents
About the author vii
Introduction and overview of the book 1
Step 1 –Impact
How to create a good first impression 13
First impressions 14
Body language 16
Motivators 25
Career drivers survey 30
Rewards 39
Celebrate winning 41
A last thought 42
Step 1 checklist 42
Key learning points 43
Step 2 – Thought
How to develop a variety of thinking styles 45
Faulty thinking 46
The wrong labels 47
Assessment of problems 52
Exaggerating or ‘catastrophizing’ 54
Useful thinking 55
All-or-nothing thinking 58
Over-generalizing 59
Reality thinking 62
Ignoring the positive 63
Outcome thinking 65
Negatively predicting the future 68
Visualizing success 71
vi (cid:1) Contents
Step 2 checklist 73
Key learning points 75
Step 3 – Emotion
How to develop your emotional intelligence 77
The five domains of emotional intelligence 79
Recognizing emotions in yourself and others 82
Forming close relationships 84
Culture 92
Emotional coaching 94
Step 3 checklist 101
Key learning points 101
Step 4 – Action
How to change your behaviour and improve 103
your people skills
FORE – family, occupation, recreation, 104
education
The emotional bank 106
Handling difficult people 109
One: The analysis – them and us 110
Two: The approach 118
Three: Coping with anger and conflict 121
Four: Positive outcomes 126
Step 4 checklist 129
Key learning points 129
Further reading from Kogan Page 131
About the author
Ros Taylor is a leading UK psychologist, successful business-
woman, an accomplished author and a TV and radio presenter.
Ros has recently been featured by the Independent on Sundayas
one of the top 10 coaches in Britain.
Ros travels the world developing the potential of employees
through Transform!, a programme she formulated. A creative
academic, Ros is a chartered clinical psychologist, coach, trainer
and regular speaker on the conference circuit. Newspapers
have described her variously as ‘the guru of personal devel-
opment’ and ‘the best motivational speaker heard this year’.
She has developed a unique style of coaching which achieves
major insights and shifts in thinking as well as creating a vision
for personal and business success. Ros draws on her background
as a psychologist to facilitate creative strategies and move people
on to become more than they would ever have believed possible.
Ros broadcasts regularly on radio and has presented a social
science research programme Between Ourselves for BBC Radio
Scotland for two years. She was a presenter for five years on a
nightly television news programme. Ros features regularly in
the national press and top magazines in her capacity as a
psychologist and advisor.
She was one of the three key presenters in Confidence Labfor
BBC2, a six-part documentary which was broadcast in January
2001. It was her Transform! programme which provided the
basis for Confidence Lab, and this book outlines its principles.
Fast Track to the Top, a book about success and how to achieve it,
was published by Kogan Page in January 2002.
viii (cid:1) About the author
Ros can be contacted at:
Ros Taylor Ltd
35 St Saviour’s Wharf
25 Mill Street
London SE1 2BE
Tel: [phone]
e-mail: [email protected]
www.rostaylor.com
Introduction and
overview of the
book
Max Bryce was a self-made man. He delighted in saying that no
one had ever helped him on his way to the top. As head of his
IT firm he travelled the world attending sales conferences. He
could have sent his sales team but he didn’t believe they could
handle the big contracts. He was equally critical of his wife and
family and would fly into rages if there was even the slightest
mark on the kitchen floor from dogs or children. He was a
perfectionist and proud of it.
On one of his international trips he contracted a virus and as
he was rushed home to receive specialist care, he gradually
became blind. Suddenly he had to depend on his family for his
every need and his employees to continue the business he had
started.
He changed. He had to slow down, trust others to help him,
listen and become more sensitive to his family. His eyesight
returned but the experience never left him. Relationships with
those around him became as important as the success of the
company – and the surprising thing was that the balance sheet
never looked better.
People transformed from bad to good are the stuff of life,
celebrated in newspaper articles, novels and films. But does
that metamorphosis have to take place so traumatically?
Charles Handy, the business guru, writes that sometimes the
trauma shocks us out of our routine existence and when we are
uncomfortable then change can take place. He tells a story