The complete idiot's guide to the art of seduction

409 Pages·1999·12.19 MB·English

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The Art of Seduction
by Janet O'Neal
A Division of Macmillan General Reference
A Simon & Schuster Macmillan Company
1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019-6785
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Copyright © 1999 by Janet O'Neal
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without
written permission from the publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the
information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this
book, the publisher and author assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any
liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of information contained herein. For
information, address Alpha Books, 1633 Broadway, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10019-6785.
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO & Design is a registered trademark of Macmillan, Inc.
Macmillan Publishing books may be purchased for business or sales promotional use. For
information please write: Special Markets Department, Macmillan Publishing USA, 1633
Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
International Standard Book Number: 0-02862738-5
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 98-88313
00 99 98 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Interpretation of the printing code: The rightmost number of the first series of numbers is the year of
the book's printing; the rightmost number of the second series of numbers is the number of the
book's printing. For example, a printing code of 98-1 shows that the first printing occurred in 1998.
Printed in the United States of America
Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful
and informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the
author and publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader
requires personal assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The author and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk,
personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and
application of any of the contents of this book.
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Alpha Development Team
Publisher
Kathy Nebenhaus
Editorial Director
Gary M. Krebs
Managing Editor
Bob Shuman
Marketing Brand Manager
Felice Primeau
Editor
Jessica Faust
Development Editors
Phil Kitchel
Amy Zavatto
Production Team
Development Editor
Amy Zavatto
Production Editor
Carol Sheehan
Copy Editor
Susan Aufheimer
Cover Designer
Mike Freeland
Illustrator
Jody P. Schaeffer
Designer
Nathan Clement
Indexer
Chris Cleveland
Layout/Proofreading
Angela Calvert
Mary Hunt
Cheryl Moore
Julie Trippetti
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CONTENTS AT A GLANCE
Part 1: Becoming a Modern-Day Seductress or Seducer 1
1 3
Redefining Seduction
Learn a new, more enlightened definition of seduction for the new
millennium. Discover the individual elements that make a person seductive.
2 15
Goal Setting: The Proactive Approach to Seduction
A delicious seduction doesn't “just” happen. Learn to set goals to greatly
increase your chances of successful seduction.
3 25
Physical Attraction: Looking Seductive
Your physical presence is the first and most obvious aspect of your
seductiveness. Learn to optimize your allure by making the most of your
sexiest attributes.
4 39
Intellectual Magnetism: Your Brain Is the Most Erogenous Part of Your
Body
Looks aren't everything! In fact, it's more important to have an active, alert,
and perpetually curious mind than it is to be stunningly good-looking.
Learn to be seduced by life, and you can stay seductive for as long as you
live.
5 53
Emotional Seductiveness: Creating Those Warm, Fuzzy Feelings
Increase your compassion quotient, learn to listen with your heart, and
learn how to “resonate” with others—and you'll become virtually
irresistible to the people around you.
6 65
Spirit or Essence: All the Elements of Seductiveness… and More
This is the whole that is greater than the sum of its parts; it's what makes
you YOU! Learn how the subtle interplay of the elements of allure—along
with self-confidence, self-worth, character and intent—create your entire
seductive “package.”
Part 2: Attracting Dates: Casting Your Spell 77
7 79
The Ultimate Seductress: A Man's Perspective
You don't have to be a supermodel lookalike or a centerfold candidate to
enchant him. Make him feel like a winner, and you both win.
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8 87
The Ultimate Seducer: A Woman's Perspective
Don't have bulging biceps or a bulging wallet? Not to worry; those aren't
the characteristics that make a woman melt. Discover the simple secrets to
becoming simply irresistible to the woman you're with.
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9 101
Meeting Attractive People: Matching Your Destination with Your
Expectation
The person of your dreams is out there; you just have to know where to
look. Learn the pros and cons of various “hunting grounds,” from the
traditional to the unconventional.
10 113
The Approach: Putting All That Preparation to Work
Forget the corny lines; learn how to make the kind of first impression that
will elicit smiles of delight rather than groans. Discover how you can be
intriguing from the moment you meet someone. Find out how to avoid the
“platonic trap,” and learn how to prepare yourself to ask someone for a
date.
11 127
Romantic Signals: How to Read Them and How to Give Them
Discover how body language, eye contact, and sensuous touching can add
to your intrigue, and can help you figure out what's really going on in the
other person's mind.
12 139
Flirting: Tickle, Tease, or Torture
Flirting can be a harmless diversion, an instrument of destruction, or a
prelude to a sweet seduction. Discover the nuances of the different kinds of
flirting. Find out how to avoid the harmful variety, and learn the how-to's
of purposeful, seductive flirting.
13 151
A Seductive Guide to “the Big D”: The Date
Learn how to use the first date to determine if this is a person you want to
seduce. If the answer is yes, you can use the date to begin picking up clues
that will help you set the stage for a successful seduction.
Part 3: A Night to Remember 165
14 167
Should We or Shouldn't We?
No matter how attractive your partner is, sex is a decision that requires
careful thought. Review the issues about safe sex, and examine several
other factors that can help you determine whether or not this person is a
suitable sexual partner for you.
15 179
Setting the Stage for Seduction
Seduction will be all the sweeter if you learn to make the most of the
exquisite sexual tension that is building between the two of you. Find out
how to spark your partner's fantasies, and push all of his or her “hot”
buttons.
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Pre-Game Jitters
Getting there may be half the fun, but let's face it: It's not all fun. Just about
everyone gets pre-game jitters. Learn how to put your fears in perspective
and transform nervousness into excitement.
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17 203
Tonight's the Night: Lovemaking 101
Discover tips for optimizing your sexual pleasure every step of the way,
from first move to “afterglow.”
18 215
A Seductive Potpourri: Tips and Tricks to Make the Night Complete
Make the most of the explosive chemistry between the two of you by turning
on all that seductive charm you've discovered!
Part 4: Seduction Is Forever 229
19 231
There's Got to Be a Morning After
Learn to deal with morning-after doubts and insecurities, and the feeling of
“buyer's remorse” that often follows even the most wonderful sex. Discover
how to say a kind goodbye if it didn't work out—or set the stage for next
time if it knocked your socks off.
20 245
Keeping It Intriguing: Understanding Needs Beyond the Bedroom
In order to keep someone interested, you have to continue to seduce them
on all levels—not just physically, but intellectually and emotionally as well.
Learn about men's and women's most profound emotional needs in a
relationship. Discover how to create adventures together in order to keep
your relationship alive and healthy.
21 257
Keeping It Spicy: Fanning the Flames with Fantasies and Games
Learn how sexual fantasy can bring the two of you closer together and help
make your relationship a source of perpetual delight. Explore some of
men's and women's most common fantasies, and discover how you can
(harmlessly) incorporate them into your relationship.
22 271
What's Love Got to Do with It?
Learn about the different stages of love, and the part seduction plays at
each stage. Find out how to make seduction last forever.
Appendices
A 281
Resources
B 285
The Language of Seduction: A Wordplay Glossary
291
C
8
Steamy Seduction Tales
Index 299
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CONTENTS.
Part 1: Becoming a Modern-Day Seductress or Seducer 1
1 3
Redefining Seduction
A Thousand Years of Good Intent 4
How Do You Tell the “Good” From the “Bad”? 5
Nonsexual Seduction: The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Ugly 5
Something to Which We Can All Relate: Food 5
Seducers on Two Legs 6
Sexual Seduction: The Sublime and the Squalid 7
Delicious Seduction: A Little Slice of Heaven 8
Malicious Seduction: Devil on a Blue Bike 10
There's No Such Thing As a One-Night Stand: Seduction Has Lasting 11
Effects
General Seductiveness: The Elements of Allure 11
Ingredients to Cast a Seductive Spell 12
2 15
Goal Setting: The Proactive Approach to Seduction
Whose Life Is It, Anyway? 16
Maybe S/he's Born with It…But Probably Not 16
Classic Seductresses: Geishas and Courtesans 17
Bond…James Bond: Seducer Extraordinaire 18
And Now, Back to Reality: What About You? 19
Short-Term Goals: The First Person You Must Seduce Is Yourself 19
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