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The Comfortable Coffin: A Gold Medal Anthology PDF

196 Pages·2012·35.69 MB·English
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HlSgfst 35c THE C0MF0I1ABLE COFFIN From the Mystery Writers of America- 15 of their wisest, wickedest, and wittiest stories edited by RICHARD PRATHER S. ELLERY QUEEN EVAN HUNTER • STANLEY ELLIN VERONICA PARKER JOHNS • ERLE STANLEY GARDNER and others The Comfortable Coffin — An introduction by Richard S. Prather This book has been designed for your uninhibited enjoy- ment, with t—he hope that whil—e reading it you will smile, and chuckle, and more than once laugh out loud. When I first wrote the membership of Mystery Writers of America about this year's anthology, I asked them for "the light touch," merry mysteries which would leave readers in a warm glow instead of a cold sweat. The membership respon- ded so splendidly that you will find in these pages everything from light-hearted larceny to death without sting, each piece written in the light vein rather than the gory artery. In this book the blunt instruments are velvet saps, the daggers merely tickle, and the blood (if any) runs pink. These writers are pros, men and women who cover the skeleton of plot with the flesh of solid craftsmanship and stamp of individual style. The book begins with Fessier and ends with Finney, and I guarantee that you will enter chuckling and leave happy. In between you will be entertained by such masters as Erie Stanley Gardner, Ellery Queen, and Stanley Ellin. You will have a bubbling good time with "Kiss Me, Dudley" (a new Evan Hunter to many of you), and there is the sure professional touch of Robert Arthur, Dion Hender- son, and William O'Farrell, plus thoroughly delightful stories from MWA's corresponding members, Michael Gilbert and MWA Berkely Mather of England. In last year's anthology, its editor, John D. MacDonald, referr—ed to the la—dies as "The Lethal Sex," and in the collection he and they proved the ladies are just that; but they are also lovely and witty and charming, proved here by the artistry of such solid pros as Dana Lyon, Margaret Manners, and Veronica Parker Johns. And, like it or not, the editor includes a Shell Scott story by the editor. This collection has been planned to amuse you, but it has, — — — Eerhaps, another virtue. It seems at least to me that we are eset these days by much designed to make us feel miserable, created by people who would send "Get Sick" cards to con- valescents and, at weddings, throw cooked rice: plays that rise to peaks of dullness, paintings that look like upset stomachs, books that read like long suicide notes . . . such a flood of woe and weeping, of pessimism and Freudian cuckooism, that we are in imminent danger of drowning entirely in misery and tired blood. — — But not this time. Here is a raft or at least a straw in that rotting sea of tears. For this is a book intended to make you feel good, jolly, even heaMltWhy.AI hope it does. At any rate, it is ahappy book that we of MWgAiv—e you. Some f—acts re this fiction: MysteryWriters of Amer- ica, Inc. is a nonprofit organization of mystery and crime writers established to improve the state of mystery writing and mystery writers. MWA's slogan is: "CriMmWe Adoes not pay enough!" Yet, despite that slogan, each member here represented generously contributed his or her story knowing MWA that moneys received go into the treasury, not the au- thor's pocket, after taxes. Each year such an anthology as this is published, with a different theme and a different editor. This is, I am pleased tosay, numberthirteen. With that cheerful thought, I leave you. My pleasant labor, and that of the other contributors to this volume, is ended; your enjoyment is about to start. Begin, then, with what well may be the funniest and most agreeably outrageous courtroom scene ever written, and pro- ceed ... at your pleasure. Richard S. Prather Laguna Beach, California Comfortable Coffin A Gold Medal Anthology Edited by Richard Prather S. GOLD MEDAL BOOKS Fawcett Publications, Inc., Greenwich, Conn. THE BOTTLED WIFE by Michael Fessier, copyright 1952 by Esquire. Inc. Re- printed by permission of the author and author's agent, Harold Matson Co. A COFFIN FOR MR. CASH by Robert Arthur, copyright by H. S. D. Publica- tions, Inc., 1958. Reprinted by permission of Robert Arthur and Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine. THE FAITH OF AARON MENEFEE by Stanley Ellin, copyright 1957 by Davis Publications, Inc. (Formerly Mercury Publications, Inc.) Reprinted by permission of the author and Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine. First published in Ellery Queen'sMysteryMagazine. "MY QUEER DEAN!" by Ellery Queen, copyright 1953 by United Newspaper! Magazine Corporation. Reprinted by permission of the author. —YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT by Berkely Mather, copyright i960 by Berkely Mather. Reprinted by permission of Berkely Mather. SQUEAKIE'S SECOND CASE by Margaret Manners, copyright 1054 by Davis Publications, Inc. (Formerly Mercury Publications, Inc.) Reprinted by permission of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and the author. First published in Ellery Queen'sMystery Magazine. FIRST MAN ATTHE FUNERAL by Dion Henderson, copyright 1957 by Davis Publications, Inc. (Formerly Mercury Publications, Inc.) Reprinted Sy permission of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and the author. First published in Ellery Queen'sMystery Magazine. THE STRANGE TALE OF MR. ELSIE SMITH by Dana Lyon, copyright 1953 by Mercury Press, Inc. Reprinted by permission of the author ana The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. THELIVE ONES byRichard S. Prather, copyright 1956 by Dee Publishing Com- pany.Reprinted by permission of the author and the author'sagents, Scott Meredith Literary Agency, Inc. THE GENTLEMAN CALLER by Veronica Parker Johns, copyright 1055 by Davis Publications, Inc. (Formerly Mercury Publications, Inc.) Reprinted Sy per- mission of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and the author. First published in Ellery Queen'sMysteryMagazine. tMhRe.titPleOTRHTEWAIYN'CSOMPREATCATIXCMEYbSyTEMiRcYh,aelcopGyirlibgerhtt,1o9r5i8gibnyallDyavpiusblPiusbhleidcatuinodnes,r Inc. (Formerly Mercury Publications, Inc.) Reprinted by permission of Ellery Queen'sMystery Magazine and the author. First published in Ellery Queen's Mys- tery Magazine. OFIFNTDHEESOIlLiDCLSECbHyOWOiLl,licaompyOr'iFgahrtrelil9,60orbiygiDnaalvliyspPuubblliischaetdiounsn,deIrnct.heRetpitrlienLteAdDbYy permission of Ellery Queen'sMystery Magazine and the author. First published in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine. KISS ME, DUDLEY by Evan Hunter, copyright 1954 by Flying Eagle Publica- tions, Inc. Reprinted by permission of the author and the author's agents, Scott Meredith Literary Agency, Inc. TtitOleSTTHREIKHEOUASMEAOTFCTHHRbyEEEriCeASNtDanLlEeyS,Garcodpnyerri,ghotri1g9i3na8llbyypEurbileisShteadnluenydeGrartdh-e ner. Reprinted by permission of the author and the author'sagents, WillisKingsley Wing Literary Agency, Inc. IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR by Jack Finney, copyright 1948 by Crowell-Collier PublishingCo. Reprinted bypermission of the author. Copyright © November, i960 by Fawcett Publications, Inc. First Printing, October 27, i960. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof. All characters in this book are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Printed in the United States of America. Contents ABOUT THE TABLE OF CONTENTS Poetryanthologies usually include an "Index ofFirst Lines/9 but, so far as I know, books of short stories do not. This one, however, does. You willfind the first sentence of each story be- neath the storfs title and the name of the author who wrote it. Frankly, I hope thus to sneak up on you, and with hints of the variety of story and style yet to come, whet your interest; moreover, Ihadfun doingit, andyou may havefun with it, too (that being the prime purpose of this collection); and it can help you to find, quickly, stories you may later wish to read again. Unless I miss my guess, some of them, at least, you will wantto readagain. RSP The Bottled Wife 11 Michael Fessier The small courtroom was jammed with spec- tators when the case of Alvin Prent, M.D., versus George Bashford, came to trial, Judge Homer Leggit presiding. A Coffin for Mr. Cash 22 Robert Arthur Outside, in the sky, thunder bowled a strike. The Faith of Aaron Menefee 39 Stanley Ellin When thebigblack carcame limping into the gas station I could tell that it was hurting inside, the way I hurt whenever old hot-spot jabbed into my belly. "My Queer Dean!" 55 Ellery Queen The queerness of Matthew Arnold Hope, be- loved teacher of Ellery's Harvard youth and lately dean of liberal arts in a New York university, is legendary. Your Cake and Eat It 62 Berkely Mather The old T and S Line it was. Squeakie's Second Case 76 Margaret Manners I should have realized that things would begin to happen when Squeakie announced that she was taking a course in journalism. First Man at the Funeral 98 Dion Henderson We were up in the Erickson north forty with my old dog and the Sheriff had just missed the prettiest double on quail you ever saw when the jailer came panting and wheezing through the sedge. The Strange Tale of Mr. Elsie Smith 104 Dana Lyon "This tears it!" cried Marlboro, and crashed his now empty coffee cup against the wall. The Live Ones 110 Richard S. Prather — I had left Sheldon Scott, Invest—igations my downtown Los Angeles office about three P.M., so I reached my Hollywood apartment earlier than usual; I went in, closed the door, and stared at the nude blonde on my divan. The Gentleman Caller 118 Veronica Parker Johns Miss Emmy Rice, who didn't look a day over 75, lifted a lid to sniff the fragrance of bub- bling beef stew. Mr. Portway's Practice 136 Michael Gilbert I qualified as a solicitor before the war, and in 1937 I bought a share in a small partner- ship in the City. Fin de Siecle 148 William O'Farrell At seventy-two Miss Alice Murchison still lived by the standards of conduct considered proper for girls of good family in the years immediately preceding and following the turn of the century. Kiss Me, Dudley 162 Evan Hunter She was cleaning fish by the kitchen sink when I climbed through the window, my .45 in my hand. To Strike a Match 169 Erie Stanley Gardner The Love of Loyalty Road in Canton is a wide thoroughfare cut ruthlessly through the congested district in order to modernize the city. It Wouldn't Be Fair 177 Jack Finney "Suppose you found this guy dead," said Charley.

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