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The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford: Dilettante's Guide to What You Do and Do Not Need to Know to Become a Qabalist PDF

131 Pages·2001·4.42 MB·English
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Preview The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford: Dilettante's Guide to What You Do and Do Not Need to Know to Become a Qabalist

This project represents a work of LOVE. All texts so far gathered, as well as all future gatherings aim at exposing interested students to occult information. Future releases will include submissions from users like YOU. For some of us, the time has come to mobilize. If you have an interest in assisting in this process - we all have strengths to bring to the table. email : [email protected] http://groups.yahoo.com/group/occult_digital_mobilization/ Complacency serves the old gods . THE CHICKEN Oh-BALAH OF RABBI LAMED BEN CLIFFORD A Dilettante's Guide to What YouDo and Do Not Need to Know to Become a Qabalist LON MILO DUQ!)ETTE ~WEISERBoOKS York Beach,Maine, USA Firstpublished in2001 by WEISER BOOKS P.O. Box612 YorkBeach,ME 03910-0612 www.weiserbooks.corn A Copyright©2001 LonMiloDuQuette NEW Allrightsreserved.Nopart ofthispublicationmaybereproduced ortransmittedinanyfor IMPROVED orbyanymeans,electronicormechanical, includingphotocopying, recording,orbyany QABALISTIC TEXT informationstorageandretrievalsystem,withoutpermission inwriting fromWeiserBooks OF GREAT CYNICISM AND WISDOM WRITTEN Reviewersmayquote briefpassages. EXPRESSLY FOR DILETTANTES WITH REALLYSHORT ATTENTION SPANS LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData WHO PRETENTIOUSLY CONSIDER DuQuette,LonMilo. THEMSELVES HERMETIC QABALISTS ChickenQabalahofRabbiLamedBenClifford/LonMilo BUT WHO ARE NONETHELESS SERIOUS DuQuette. ABOUT UTILIZING A TINY PORTION OF THE p.em. Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex. HEBREW QABALAH ISBN 1-57863-215-3(pbk.) FOR SPIRITUAL 1.Cabala.2.Tarot.3.Treeoflife.4.Gematria.5.Cabala-Humor. ENLIGHTEN- I.Title. MENT. * BF1611.D869 2001 135'.47-dc21 2001017612 Typesetin11/14AdobeGaramond TextdesignbyKathryn Sky-Peck Backcoverphoto byPaulMartens PrintedintheUniredStatesofAmerica VG 08 07 06 05 04 03 02 01 876 5 4 3 2 1 Thepaperusedinthispublicationmeetstheminimumrequirementsofthe AmericanNationalStandardfOrInformationSciences-PermanenceofPaper forPrintedLibraryMaterialsZ39.48-1992(R1991). ACKNOWLEDGMENTS CONTENTS The author wishes to thank the following individuals who con List ofFigures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viii tributed to the manifestation ofthis workin the world ofAssiah: Foreword-MyLifewiththeRabbi, byRodney Orpheus xi Constance Jean DuQuette, whose love and sense of humor has Introducti"on: Conrcessl'0n . xix almost overcome her detestation ofthe Qabalah; ChapterO. Who Was Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford? 1 Rodney Orpheus, who interrupted his decadent life as rock star, recording artist, and globe-hopper to pen the Foreword; Chapter 1. FrequentlyAsked Questions About Chicken Qabalah 5 Rabbi Gizmo Ben Lamed, who graciously opened his heart and his archives; Chapter2. TheTen Command-Rants 13 Chapter 3. The SepherYetzirah 25 IdaPengala, ofAugury TOday, and Dr. Terrence Stool ofGomermag- Chapter4. The HebrewAlphabet .37 azine: Chapter 5. The Ineffable Name ofGod and Ms. Carolyn Tillie, who four years ago promised to reward me with the Ark ofthe Covenant 69 a ten-course "Qabalistic" dinnerifIwere ever to write abookon the Qabalah. Chapter 6. The Four QabalisticWorlds and the Four Parts ofthe Soul 79 Chapter 7. TheTree ofLife 105 Chapter 8. QabalisticMagickand theTree ofLife 129 Chapter9. The ChickenTarot and the HolyGuardianAngel ..147 Chapter 10.Last Lecture-Games Qabalists Play ." 179 Epilogue: Shem-ha-Mephorash-The Rabbi's Last 72Words ..201 Notes . 203 Glossary . 213 B1ibli10graphy . 223 Index.. " . " 227 About theAuthor "." " 234 LIST OF FIGURES / ZX LIST OF FIGURES Figure25. The Cosmic Egg 136 Figure26. LevelsofConsciousness 137 Figure 1. Wallet Card for the Chicken Qabalist 8 Figure27. The Qabalistic Worlds and the Human Soul 139 Figure 2. TheTen Command-Rants 16-17 Figure28. The Divine PeckingOrder 140 Figure3. TheThree Famous DimensionalTwins 33 Figure29. The 22Tarot Trumps areCreated bythe 22 Letters 154 Figure 4. The Centerand SixDimensions 34 Figure30. TheAcesHold the Court Cards Figure 5. TheTwelveEdges 35 and the SmallCards 159 Figure6. Yod,The Golden Mean, Yin-Yang 38 Figure31. The 36 SmallCards and the Figure7. The 3Mother Letters, 7 DoubleLetters, Decans ofthe Zodiac 165 and 12Simple Letters .42 Figure32. Rulership ofthe Kings, Queens, and Princes 166 Figure 8. TheTreeofLife .43 Figure33. The PlanetsAllotted to the SmallCards Figure 9. Four QabalisticWorlds 95 on theTreeofLife 167 Figure 10. Four Partsofthe Soul 103 Figure34. TheWorld ofthe Princesses 173 Figure 11. From the Book ofEzra 108 Figure35. TheWorld ofthe Princes .173 Figure 12. The Holy Number One 115 Figure36. TheWorld ofthe Queens .174 Figure 13. The ConceptofTwo 116 Figure37. TheWorld ofthe Kings 175 Figure 14. TheConceptofThree 117 Figure38. TheWorld Coordinates 176 Figure 15. TheTrinity Figure39. PlanetaryMagick Squares 196 117 Figure 16. The SecondTrinity 118 Figure40. Creating aSigil 197 Figure 17. TheThirdTrinity 118 Figure41. TheAthBSh .198 Figure 18. Projection, Shattering, and Manifestation Figure42. TheALBTh 198 ofthe Divine Light 119 Figure 19. TheStepsofCreation 120 Figure 20. TheTwelvePaths 121 Figure21. TheTwoAdditional "Pillars" .123 Figure 22. AllSephiroth areJoined 124 Figure 23. Reflecting Paths 125 Figure 24. CompletedTreeofLife 126 MY LIFE WITH THE RABBI ByRodneyOrpheus L et me begin bysayingthat no matter what Mr. DuQuette may be obliged to sayin his introductorywords, Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford is (was) real. I, perhaps more than anyone else on Earth, understandthe author'sreasonsforchoosingto inferthat the textrep resents a pseudepigraphic effort of his own. To men and women of integrity,aspiritual oath ofsecrecyisaseriousand burdensomecom mitment, and Mr. DuQuette, bymeansofthiselaborate literarycha rade, hasobviouslyfulfilledhisobligations admirably.I, on the other hand, am bound by no such covenants, and becauseI, too, am com piling a recordof the eventsofmy lifewith the Master,I am grateful to Mr. DuQuette for allowingme to sharesomeofmy memories. Itwasawet and stormy night when firstI met the Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford. I wasayoung chelaof an occult Order then attending initiations in A....., a beautiful old German town. I remember the momentdistinctly.Iwasstanding on astackofchairswieldingahuge Japanesekatana, swingingitroundwith easetoimpressthe assembled neophytes with my skillin the oriental arts, when I wasapproached byarotund figure,his beardwafting in the breezefrom my blade. "Little Brother!" he commanded me in a loud voice, "Youhave been meddling with the Qabalah!" The throng around me seemed to shrink awayat his imperious, ifsomewhat squeaky,voice.I stood transfixedbyhis gaze,the sword held high abovemy head. For along second, there wasno sound. xu / FOREWORD xtu FOREWORD / "No I haven't,"Istated calmly,"But I don't mindhavingit med Master Builders of old, whose pride ledJehovah to punish them for dlewith me." daring to come before His Countenance. Thus the Order members He looked atme quizzically, seemingto examine myfaceintent vow themselves to complete anonymity on their initiation, so that ly, then turnedon hisheeland walkedaway. In mymindIhad asud the Lordcannotfindand punishthem fortheir spiritual hubris. Now den flashofinsight. I leapt down from my post and ran after him, I understood why the Rabbi, although versed in the wisdom ofthe throwing myselfat hisfeet. Holy Qabalah like no man in this century, had published nothing; "MasterI." IexcIa'rrned,lIO: r I now knew Iwasin the presenceofa indeed his name wasunknown even in the occult circlesin which I member ofthat mystical, mythical Great White Brotherhood I had had previouslymoved. sought forsolong, "Takeme asyour pupil-please!" Iwasto becomeone ofthe luckyfewintimates ofthe Rabbidur "I can't do that," he said, "The Qabalah is not for charismatic ing my stay.Ashis secretary, I had access to many of his communi rock stars such asyourself It can only be mastered byone who has cations- both material and spiritual. For the former, I wasamazed alreadylived a full life.Youmust be married and have accumulated at his contacts around the world. One would never know who he'd more wealth beforeyou can study asatrue Rabbi ofthe Lord." be talkingto from one day to the next-from abum in the street in "But Master, there must be a way-I'll be your secretary, clean Seattle ("one ofthe greatest magi currently alive," according to the your house, shine your shoes, anything! But I must learn the true Rabbi) to aleadingpolitician in Europe ("well,hetrieshard," spoken ~owledge behind the meaninglessnessofNumber and Symbol that with adeep sigh). IS my onlylearning up until this moment." His spiritual communicationswereno lessintriguing-he spoke "Well,pop bythehouse the next time you arein the States,we'll frequently to Goetic spirits and Enochian angels, often over after seewhat wehavefor you!" His eyestwinkled. I knew I'd been given noon tea (EarlGreyseemedespeciallyefficaciousfor this purpose). I achallenge.Did I havethe dedication to throwawaymy lifefor this rapidly becameproficient inshorthand, and always kept apenciland man, and become his servant in the Holy Wisdom ofthe Qabalah? pad handy-and an eraser,for,asthe Rabbi put it: "Those guyscan SureI did! often benefit from abit ofjudicious editing." So it was, and months later I stepped offa plane in New York There weremany sunny afternoons when wesat together in the City, all my belongings packed in a small bag overmy shoulder, in garden overahuge pot ofsteaming teawhile the Rabbi pontificated search of enlightenment. I had heard that the Rabbi ran a small and argued with his Invisible Superiors over the future direction of community in Montauk, composed ofonly those true initiates that the Order's work. The notes I took filled severalboxes, and I was he had personally selected. However, try as I might, I knew ofno amazingly grateful for the invention of the Apple Macintosh com one who knew the identity ofeven one ofthose initiates, so secre puter which allowed me to finally dump the Rabbi's ancient tivewasthe Ordertowhich they belonged. Over the nextyearsIwas Burroughs typing machine. to find outwhy. Always,always,I asked the Rabbi when I could become a full The Order (Iwon't giveits true name here) wasdescended from initiate ofthe Mysteries; and alwaysreceivedthe same answer: that an ancient sectofEsseneswho had begun the study ofQabalah after I must be more successful, more wealthy, married, and fruitful the fallofthe biblicalTowerofBabel.Their beliefwas, and is, that before I could even think ofbeing considered as a potential Rabbi any who study the Holy Wisdom share the danger ofthose unwise myself. XlV / FOREW 0 RD FOREWORD / XV "But,"1 protested, "Ycou need someone to carryon your work, that he had usedcertain forbidden magicalmethods to do so, butof Master!" that I have no proof-yet. But to continue myhistory ... And in those moments his eyeswould fallon the picture ofMr. Before I could answer,the Rabbi raised a restraining hand and DuQuette1 that he kept on his desk, along with those ofthe other turned to Gizmo. "He must be given a chance. He must do asour initiates. forefathersdid, and go to the desert for 40 daysand 40 nights to be "Perhaps... ," and he would sayno more. tried in the pure sightofthe Lord. Ifhesurvives,itwillbedearproof Bethat asit may,Izealouslycontinuedmystudiesand practices, that he has achieved the insignificance that befits a true member of and eventuallyit became obvious to allat the Montaukcenter that I our Order, and can be initiated in due course. Cuddles" (he always was becoming the Master's favorite. Naturally this gaverise to jeal calledGizmo thatname forreasonsthat arestillunclear to me), "You ousyand the petty intrigues that arethe bane ofmonastic societies. willtake him in the morning to be tried. He must find the limits of My chief adversarywas a quiet, passive-aggressive student who the City ofGod." presumptuouslyrenamed himselfGizmo BenLamed. He could type Gizmo glaredatme, butevenhecould not goagainstthe mighty faster than I, and continually jockeyed for my position as Master's Will ofthe Rabbi. secretary. One day,in front ofMaster and the other pupils, he chal That night I could hardly sleep, no matter how comfortably I lenged me to a typing duel. Like a fool I accepted, for to decline arranged my bed ofgorse. In the morning I would finally get my would havemeant instantvictory for BenLamed. chance to prove myself I knew I could do it. Promptly about four My defeat was the beginning of the end for my career at hours aftersunrise Iheard the telltalesoundofaVolkswagencamper Montauk. Gizmo continuedto poison the minds ofthe members of pull up in the front yard. I ran out and jumped into the seat. the Order against me, and the Master advanced other neophtyes Without aword Iwasblindfoldedwith abright canaryyellowcloth while I waskept at a low degree. Still, I knew he secretlyliked me and we took off. We drove in silence for four days. I knew Ben more than the others, forashewaswont to quote on the many occa Lamed and others in the van were burning with jealousy..How I sionswhen he cuffedme round the sideofthe head, "Whom I love, wouldshow them! I chastisewith many rods." At high noon ofthe fourth daywe stopped, and I was ceremo OnedayIcouldstand itno longer.Iburst into theMaster'ssane niously dumped out of the van, which roared off in an unknown tum. "I DEMAND to befinallymade an initiate ofthe Qabalah!" I direction. I took off my blindfold, took out my trusty Boy Scout shouted, "Teachme the secretsthat liewithin the Numbers and the knife, and began mywalkabout through the desert, puttingmy faith Cards!"Toolate,the Rabbi wassitting hunchedoverhisdeskaccom in the Lord'sability to overlook me until I had found the signI was panied by Gizmo Ben Lamed, both intently examining what looking for. For many days I walked, without real food and water appeared to be an ancient Indian illustrated treatise on advanced (though I did find aMcDonalds by the side ofthe road that helped magicaltechniques. Theylooked up at me. alot). Isawvisionsofangelswith spreading dark wingsand demons "Impossible!" boomed the Master. "Youare far too young and in the form of beautiful Thai women who tempted me with their inexperienced. Why, you're not evenmarried!" My facefell. He was slimseductivebodies. But stillI prevailed,looking only for thatsign right. He, on the otherhand, had somehow tricked abeautifulyoung that wouldshowme the true Waythat I desired. girl named Constance into his clutches yearsbefore.The rumor was Finallythatdaycame.Ihad almostgivenup hope. Myvisionwas XVt / FOREW 0 R0 FOREW 0 R0 / xuu blurred, my mind blank. I tottered on the brink ofdespair.Then I demanding to be finallyinitiated into the secretsofthe Order. How sawit. The sign.THE sign.The sign that I had looked for day and could they refuseme now?I threw my bagdown on my old familiar night sinceleavingNew York: gorseand fellinto adeep and satisfiedsleep. The morningdawned bright and clear,and Iwasbrought before the Rabbi, now dressedasI had neverbeforeseenhim, asaPriestof Interstate theAncient Mysteries.Foran old man, hestilllooked pretty good in ~ aleopard skin. I cannot tellyou detailsofthe next seventeenhours, but at the end, he laid hishands upon me. His hands jerked convul Las Vegas sivelyupon my now-shaven head, pouring his magical essenceinto City Limits me "I am now about to consecrate, ordain, raise,and confirm you, aninitiate ofthe Mysteriesof....., nowand forever. Butfirstyouwill repeat after me theTerribleOath ofSecrecy." . Here in ablindingflashwasthe answerIsought. Forwasit not man's He fellforward, his arms around me with joy.After a fewnun True Will that raised us to the state between mere animal existence utes the position began to get a little uncomfortable, but I endured and divinity?And did notthe Number93 epitomize thatTrueWill?2 his weight nonetheless. I could hear Gizmo prompting the Rabbi Ihad sought the limits ofthe City ofGod, and here theywere,with with the Terrible Oath of Secrecy, but the Rabbi did not stir.Then in my ownWill, stated plainly within the Holy Qabalah. I marveled hisbody slowlyslidto the floor,ahorrific expressionon hisface. He once again at the wisdom ofRabbi Lamed Ben Clifford who had wasdead. brought me to this place, and at the materialization of the Qabalah The Doctor said it was pulmonary infarction. I knew better. upon Earth. EagerlyI strode forward to LasVegas. With hisinitiation ofme, hislife'sworkwascomplete. Iwasnow his Once there I began my studies in earnest. I spent innumerable Follower. hours in the casinos,enmeshed in understanding the subtle patterns A few short months after this I received a call from my old within the Numbers, the archetypal forces embodied in the Cards, friend, the famous occult editor (and fellow initiate) B., apprising and the Dionysian pleasures brought to me by the Lord'sown cock me of Mr. DuQuette's intention to publish the Rabbi's legendary tail waitresses. I knew that I could not return to the Rabbi without lost manuscripts on the Chicken Qabalah and insinuate that Ben fulfilling the duties he had expounded to me, so for 40 days and Clifford wasmerelyafigment ofhisown imagination and the works nights I threw myselfinto mywork with apassion. werehis own! Mypracticalstudies had led to greatthings. Iwasnowawealthy I was outraged. Asthe true heir to the Master'swork, I felt.t~~t and successful man, with a lovelyAsian wife I had found on the I and I alone could explainit-forwasI not the firstand only uuu Internet. It was time to return to the bosom ofthe Rabbi. I packed ate of our Order never to be sworn to secrecy?The Lord had struck my bagsand setofffor the Hermetic homeland ofMontauk. our Master down in order that 1might beallowedto speakthe truth I turned up at the Rabbi'shome. The dayshad not been kind to to the world about Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford. him. He looked old and worn, his arms held up by Gizmo Ben However,afterreadingDuQuette'slovinglyrespectfuleditingand Lamed, who was unfortunately still around. I wasted no time in introductions to the texts, I must confesshe has done an admirable

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A unique and humorous -- and also practical -- approach to the increasingly popular study of Qabalah. This is a seriously funny book! Traditional Qabalistic (or Cabalistic, or, indeed, Kabbalistic -- read this book to find out what the difference is...we know you've always wondered) sources tend to
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Most books are stored in the elastic cloud where traffic is expensive. For this reason, we have a limit on daily download.