The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford: Dilettante's Guide to What You Do and Do Not Need to Know to Become a Qabalist

131 Pages·2001·4.42 MB·English

by  Lon Milo Duquette

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Complacency serves the old gods
.
THE
CHICKEN
Oh-BALAH
OF
RABBI LAMED BEN CLIFFORD
A Dilettante's Guide to
What YouDo and Do Not Need to Know
to Become a Qabalist
LON MILO DUQ!)ETTE
~WEISERBoOKS
York Beach,Maine, USA
Firstpublished in2001 by
WEISER BOOKS
P.O. Box612
YorkBeach,ME 03910-0612
www.weiserbooks.corn
A
Copyright©2001 LonMiloDuQuette NEW
Allrightsreserved.Nopart ofthispublicationmaybereproduced ortransmittedinanyfor IMPROVED
orbyanymeans,electronicormechanical, includingphotocopying, recording,orbyany QABALISTIC TEXT
informationstorageandretrievalsystem,withoutpermission inwriting fromWeiserBooks
OF GREAT CYNICISM AND WISDOM WRITTEN
Reviewersmayquote briefpassages.
EXPRESSLY FOR DILETTANTES WITH
REALLYSHORT ATTENTION SPANS
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
WHO PRETENTIOUSLY CONSIDER
DuQuette,LonMilo. THEMSELVES HERMETIC QABALISTS
ChickenQabalahofRabbiLamedBenClifford/LonMilo
BUT WHO ARE NONETHELESS SERIOUS
DuQuette.
ABOUT UTILIZING A TINY PORTION OF THE
p.em.
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex. HEBREW QABALAH
ISBN 1-57863-215-3(pbk.) FOR SPIRITUAL
1.Cabala.2.Tarot.3.Treeoflife.4.Gematria.5.Cabala-Humor. ENLIGHTEN-
I.Title.
MENT.
*
BF1611.D869 2001
135'.47-dc21 2001017612
Typesetin11/14AdobeGaramond
TextdesignbyKathryn Sky-Peck
Backcoverphoto byPaulMartens
PrintedintheUniredStatesofAmerica
VG
08 07 06 05 04 03 02 01
876 5 4 3 2 1
Thepaperusedinthispublicationmeetstheminimumrequirementsofthe
AmericanNationalStandardfOrInformationSciences-PermanenceofPaper
forPrintedLibraryMaterialsZ39.48-1992(R1991).
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CONTENTS
The author wishes to thank the following individuals who con
List ofFigures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viii
tributed to the manifestation ofthis workin the world ofAssiah:
Foreword-MyLifewiththeRabbi, byRodney Orpheus xi
Constance Jean DuQuette, whose love and sense of humor has Introducti"on: Conrcessl'0n . xix
almost overcome her detestation ofthe Qabalah;
ChapterO. Who Was Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford? 1
Rodney Orpheus, who interrupted his decadent life as rock star,
recording artist, and globe-hopper to pen the Foreword; Chapter 1. FrequentlyAsked Questions
About Chicken Qabalah 5
Rabbi Gizmo Ben Lamed, who graciously opened his heart and his
archives; Chapter2. TheTen Command-Rants 13
Chapter 3. The SepherYetzirah 25
IdaPengala, ofAugury TOday, and Dr. Terrence Stool ofGomermag-
Chapter4. The HebrewAlphabet .37
azine:
Chapter 5. The Ineffable Name ofGod and
Ms. Carolyn Tillie, who four years ago promised to reward me with
the Ark ofthe Covenant 69
a ten-course "Qabalistic" dinnerifIwere ever to write abookon the
Qabalah. Chapter 6. The Four QabalisticWorlds and
the Four Parts ofthe Soul 79
Chapter 7. TheTree ofLife 105
Chapter 8. QabalisticMagickand theTree ofLife 129
Chapter9. The ChickenTarot and the HolyGuardianAngel ..147
Chapter 10.Last Lecture-Games Qabalists Play ." 179
Epilogue: Shem-ha-Mephorash-The Rabbi's Last 72Words ..201
Notes . 203
Glossary . 213
B1ibli10graphy . 223
Index.. " . " 227
About theAuthor "." " 234
LIST OF FIGURES / ZX
LIST OF FIGURES Figure25. The Cosmic Egg 136
Figure26. LevelsofConsciousness 137
Figure 1. Wallet Card for the Chicken Qabalist 8 Figure27. The Qabalistic Worlds and the Human Soul 139
Figure 2. TheTen Command-Rants 16-17 Figure28. The Divine PeckingOrder 140
Figure3. TheThree Famous DimensionalTwins 33 Figure29. The 22Tarot Trumps areCreated bythe 22 Letters 154
Figure 4. The Centerand SixDimensions 34 Figure30. TheAcesHold the Court Cards
Figure 5. TheTwelveEdges 35 and the SmallCards 159
Figure6. Yod,The Golden Mean, Yin-Yang 38 Figure31. The 36 SmallCards and the
Figure7. The 3Mother Letters, 7 DoubleLetters, Decans ofthe Zodiac 165
and 12Simple Letters .42 Figure32. Rulership ofthe Kings, Queens, and Princes 166
Figure 8. TheTreeofLife .43 Figure33. The PlanetsAllotted to the SmallCards
Figure 9. Four QabalisticWorlds 95 on theTreeofLife 167
Figure 10. Four Partsofthe Soul 103 Figure34. TheWorld ofthe Princesses 173
Figure 11. From the Book ofEzra 108 Figure35. TheWorld ofthe Princes .173
Figure 12. The Holy Number One 115 Figure36. TheWorld ofthe Queens .174
Figure 13. The ConceptofTwo 116 Figure37. TheWorld ofthe Kings 175
Figure 14. TheConceptofThree 117 Figure38. TheWorld Coordinates 176
Figure 15. TheTrinity Figure39. PlanetaryMagick Squares 196
117
Figure 16. The SecondTrinity 118 Figure40. Creating aSigil 197
Figure 17. TheThirdTrinity 118 Figure41. TheAthBSh .198
Figure 18. Projection, Shattering, and Manifestation Figure42. TheALBTh 198
ofthe Divine Light 119
Figure 19. TheStepsofCreation 120
Figure 20. TheTwelvePaths 121
Figure21. TheTwoAdditional "Pillars" .123
Figure 22. AllSephiroth areJoined 124
Figure 23. Reflecting Paths 125
Figure 24. CompletedTreeofLife 126
MY LIFE WITH THE RABBI
ByRodneyOrpheus
L
et me begin bysayingthat no matter what Mr. DuQuette may
be obliged to sayin his introductorywords, Rabbi Lamed Ben
Clifford is (was) real. I, perhaps more than anyone else on Earth,
understandthe author'sreasonsforchoosingto inferthat the textrep
resents a pseudepigraphic effort of his own. To men and women of
integrity,aspiritual oath ofsecrecyisaseriousand burdensomecom
mitment, and Mr. DuQuette, bymeansofthiselaborate literarycha
rade, hasobviouslyfulfilledhisobligations admirably.I, on the other
hand, am bound by no such covenants, and becauseI, too, am com
piling a recordof the eventsofmy lifewith the Master,I am grateful
to Mr. DuQuette for allowingme to sharesomeofmy memories.
Itwasawet and stormy night when firstI met the Rabbi Lamed
Ben Clifford. I wasayoung chelaof an occult Order then attending
initiations in A....., a beautiful old German town. I remember the
momentdistinctly.Iwasstanding on astackofchairswieldingahuge
Japanesekatana, swingingitroundwith easetoimpressthe assembled
neophytes with my skillin the oriental arts, when I wasapproached
byarotund figure,his beardwafting in the breezefrom my blade.
"Little Brother!" he commanded me in a loud voice, "Youhave
been meddling with the Qabalah!"
The throng around me seemed to shrink awayat his imperious,
ifsomewhat squeaky,voice.I stood transfixedbyhis gaze,the sword
held high abovemy head. For along second, there wasno sound.
xu / FOREWORD
xtu
FOREWORD /
"No I haven't,"Istated calmly,"But I don't mindhavingit med
Master Builders of old, whose pride ledJehovah to punish them for
dlewith me."
daring to come before His Countenance. Thus the Order members
He looked atme quizzically, seemingto examine myfaceintent
vow themselves to complete anonymity on their initiation, so that
ly, then turnedon hisheeland walkedaway. In mymindIhad asud
the Lordcannotfindand punishthem fortheir spiritual hubris. Now
den flashofinsight. I leapt down from my post and ran after him,
I understood why the Rabbi, although versed in the wisdom ofthe
throwing myselfat hisfeet.
Holy Qabalah like no man in this century, had published nothing;
"MasterI." IexcIa'rrned,lIO: r I now knew Iwasin the presenceofa indeed his name wasunknown even in the occult circlesin which I
member ofthat mystical, mythical Great White Brotherhood I had
had previouslymoved.
sought forsolong, "Takeme asyour pupil-please!"
Iwasto becomeone ofthe luckyfewintimates ofthe Rabbidur
"I can't do that," he said, "The Qabalah is not for charismatic
ing my stay.Ashis secretary, I had access to many of his communi
rock stars such asyourself It can only be mastered byone who has
cations- both material and spiritual. For the former, I wasamazed
alreadylived a full life.Youmust be married and have accumulated
at his contacts around the world. One would never know who he'd
more wealth beforeyou can study asatrue Rabbi ofthe Lord."
be talkingto from one day to the next-from abum in the street in
"But Master, there must be a way-I'll be your secretary, clean
Seattle ("one ofthe greatest magi currently alive," according to the
your house, shine your shoes, anything! But I must learn the true
Rabbi) to aleadingpolitician in Europe ("well,hetrieshard," spoken
~owledge
behind the meaninglessnessofNumber and Symbol that
with adeep sigh).
IS my onlylearning up until this moment." His spiritual communicationswereno lessintriguing-he spoke
"Well,pop bythehouse the next time you arein the States,we'll
frequently to Goetic spirits and Enochian angels, often over after
seewhat wehavefor you!" His eyestwinkled. I knew I'd been given
noon tea (EarlGreyseemedespeciallyefficaciousfor this purpose). I
achallenge.Did I havethe dedication to throwawaymy lifefor this
rapidly becameproficient inshorthand, and always kept apenciland
man, and become his servant in the Holy Wisdom ofthe Qabalah?
pad handy-and an eraser,for,asthe Rabbi put it: "Those guyscan
SureI did!
often benefit from abit ofjudicious editing."
So it was, and months later I stepped offa plane in New York
There weremany sunny afternoons when wesat together in the
City, all my belongings packed in a small bag overmy shoulder, in
garden overahuge pot ofsteaming teawhile the Rabbi pontificated
search of enlightenment. I had heard that the Rabbi ran a small
and argued with his Invisible Superiors over the future direction of
community in Montauk, composed ofonly those true initiates that
the Order's work. The notes I took filled severalboxes, and I was
he had personally selected. However, try as I might, I knew ofno
amazingly grateful for the invention of the Apple Macintosh com
one who knew the identity ofeven one ofthose initiates, so secre
puter which allowed me to finally dump the Rabbi's ancient
tivewasthe Ordertowhich they belonged. Over the nextyearsIwas
Burroughs typing machine.
to find outwhy.
Always,always,I asked the Rabbi when I could become a full
The Order (Iwon't giveits true name here) wasdescended from
initiate ofthe Mysteries; and alwaysreceivedthe same answer: that
an ancient sectofEsseneswho had begun the study ofQabalah after
I must be more successful, more wealthy, married, and fruitful
the fallofthe biblicalTowerofBabel.Their beliefwas, and is, that
before I could even think ofbeing considered as a potential Rabbi
any who study the Holy Wisdom share the danger ofthose unwise
myself.
XlV / FOREW 0 RD
FOREWORD / XV
"But,"1 protested, "Ycou need someone to carryon your work,
that he had usedcertain forbidden magicalmethods to do so, butof
Master!"
that I have no proof-yet. But to continue myhistory ...
And in those moments his eyeswould fallon the picture ofMr.
Before I could answer,the Rabbi raised a restraining hand and
DuQuette1 that he kept on his desk, along with those ofthe other
turned to Gizmo. "He must be given a chance. He must do asour
initiates.
forefathersdid, and go to the desert for 40 daysand 40 nights to be
"Perhaps... ," and he would sayno more.
tried in the pure sightofthe Lord. Ifhesurvives,itwillbedearproof
Bethat asit may,Izealouslycontinuedmystudiesand practices,
that he has achieved the insignificance that befits a true member of
and eventuallyit became obvious to allat the Montaukcenter that I
our Order, and can be initiated in due course. Cuddles" (he always
was becoming the Master's favorite. Naturally this gaverise to jeal
calledGizmo thatname forreasonsthat arestillunclear to me), "You
ousyand the petty intrigues that arethe bane ofmonastic societies.
willtake him in the morning to be tried. He must find the limits of
My chief adversarywas a quiet, passive-aggressive student who
the City ofGod."
presumptuouslyrenamed himselfGizmo BenLamed. He could type
Gizmo glaredatme, butevenhecould not goagainstthe mighty
faster than I, and continually jockeyed for my position as Master's
Will ofthe Rabbi.
secretary. One day,in front ofMaster and the other pupils, he chal
That night I could hardly sleep, no matter how comfortably I
lenged me to a typing duel. Like a fool I accepted, for to decline
arranged my bed ofgorse. In the morning I would finally get my
would havemeant instantvictory for BenLamed.
chance to prove myself I knew I could do it. Promptly about four
My defeat was the beginning of the end for my career at
hours aftersunrise Iheard the telltalesoundofaVolkswagencamper
Montauk. Gizmo continuedto poison the minds ofthe members of
pull up in the front yard. I ran out and jumped into the seat.
the Order against me, and the Master advanced other neophtyes
Without aword Iwasblindfoldedwith abright canaryyellowcloth
while I waskept at a low degree. Still, I knew he secretlyliked me
and we took off. We drove in silence for four days. I knew Ben
more than the others, forashewaswont to quote on the many occa
Lamed and others in the van were burning with jealousy..How I
sionswhen he cuffedme round the sideofthe head, "Whom I love,
wouldshow them!
I chastisewith many rods."
At high noon ofthe fourth daywe stopped, and I was ceremo
OnedayIcouldstand itno longer.Iburst into theMaster'ssane
niously dumped out of the van, which roared off in an unknown
tum. "I DEMAND to befinallymade an initiate ofthe Qabalah!" I
direction. I took off my blindfold, took out my trusty Boy Scout
shouted, "Teachme the secretsthat liewithin the Numbers and the
knife, and began mywalkabout through the desert, puttingmy faith
Cards!"Toolate,the Rabbi wassitting hunchedoverhisdeskaccom
in the Lord'sability to overlook me until I had found the signI was
panied by Gizmo Ben Lamed, both intently examining what
looking for. For many days I walked, without real food and water
appeared to be an ancient Indian illustrated treatise on advanced
(though I did find aMcDonalds by the side ofthe road that helped
magicaltechniques. Theylooked up at me.
alot). Isawvisionsofangelswith spreading dark wingsand demons
"Impossible!" boomed the Master. "Youare far too young and
in the form of beautiful Thai women who tempted me with their
inexperienced. Why, you're not evenmarried!" My facefell. He was
slimseductivebodies. But stillI prevailed,looking only for thatsign
right. He, on the otherhand, had somehow tricked abeautifulyoung
that wouldshowme the true Waythat I desired.
girl named Constance into his clutches yearsbefore.The rumor was
Finallythatdaycame.Ihad almostgivenup hope. Myvisionwas
XVt / FOREW 0 R0
FOREW 0 R0 / xuu
blurred, my mind blank. I tottered on the brink ofdespair.Then I
demanding to be finallyinitiated into the secretsofthe Order. How
sawit. The sign.THE sign.The sign that I had looked for day and
could they refuseme now?I threw my bagdown on my old familiar
night sinceleavingNew York:
gorseand fellinto adeep and satisfiedsleep.
The morningdawned bright and clear,and Iwasbrought before
the Rabbi, now dressedasI had neverbeforeseenhim, asaPriestof
Interstate
theAncient Mysteries.Foran old man, hestilllooked pretty good in
~
aleopard skin. I cannot tellyou detailsofthe next seventeenhours,
but at the end, he laid hishands upon me. His hands jerked convul
Las Vegas
sivelyupon my now-shaven head, pouring his magical essenceinto
City Limits me "I am now about to consecrate, ordain, raise,and confirm you,
aninitiate ofthe Mysteriesof....., nowand forever. Butfirstyouwill
repeat after me theTerribleOath ofSecrecy." .
Here in ablindingflashwasthe answerIsought. Forwasit not man's
He fellforward, his arms around me with joy.After a fewnun
True Will that raised us to the state between mere animal existence
utes the position began to get a little uncomfortable, but I endured
and divinity?And did notthe Number93 epitomize thatTrueWill?2
his weight nonetheless. I could hear Gizmo prompting the Rabbi
Ihad sought the limits ofthe City ofGod, and here theywere,with
with the Terrible Oath of Secrecy, but the Rabbi did not stir.Then
in my ownWill, stated plainly within the Holy Qabalah. I marveled
hisbody slowlyslidto the floor,ahorrific expressionon hisface. He
once again at the wisdom ofRabbi Lamed Ben Clifford who had
wasdead.
brought me to this place, and at the materialization of the Qabalah
The Doctor said it was pulmonary infarction. I knew better.
upon Earth. EagerlyI strode forward to LasVegas.
With hisinitiation ofme, hislife'sworkwascomplete. Iwasnow his
Once there I began my studies in earnest. I spent innumerable
Follower.
hours in the casinos,enmeshed in understanding the subtle patterns
A few short months after this I received a call from my old
within the Numbers, the archetypal forces embodied in the Cards,
friend, the famous occult editor (and fellow initiate) B., apprising
and the Dionysian pleasures brought to me by the Lord'sown cock
me of Mr. DuQuette's intention to publish the Rabbi's legendary
tail waitresses. I knew that I could not return to the Rabbi without
lost manuscripts on the Chicken Qabalah and insinuate that Ben
fulfilling the duties he had expounded to me, so for 40 days and
Clifford wasmerelyafigment ofhisown imagination and the works
nights I threw myselfinto mywork with apassion.
werehis own!
Mypracticalstudies had led to greatthings. Iwasnowawealthy
I was outraged. Asthe true heir to the Master'swork, I felt.t~~t
and successful man, with a lovelyAsian wife I had found on the
I and I alone could explainit-forwasI not the firstand only uuu
Internet. It was time to return to the bosom ofthe Rabbi. I packed
ate of our Order never to be sworn to secrecy?The Lord had struck
my bagsand setofffor the Hermetic homeland ofMontauk.
our Master down in order that 1might beallowedto speakthe truth
I turned up at the Rabbi'shome. The dayshad not been kind to
to the world about Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford.
him. He looked old and worn, his arms held up by Gizmo Ben
However,afterreadingDuQuette'slovinglyrespectfuleditingand
Lamed, who was unfortunately still around. I wasted no time in
introductions to the texts, I must confesshe has done an admirable