The Boston Phoenix January 25-31, 2008: Vol 37 Iss 4

51.2 MB·English

FRACTURED
N18
TaN
TALES CAN SAVE
Nielee er NE eG TINES
_by James re > TO a
es ae 24 | by Matt Ashare
y S Ad Aepia
YOU BE
1 THE CRITIC
| WE WANT YOUR
NOMINATIONS
FOR OUR 2008
BEST ISSUE
LOG ON AND
VOTE NOW!
KLY | THREE SECTIONS | FREE
“\.. CAN OBA
adam WIRETAP-GATE SPICE MUMS
VPN 88a Deadbeat FBI can’t pay its phone bills |p 14 Posh & Co. on tour |A +E p 15
LTT NYY AIG AR Ly OAR LE TE PERE ELSON ET ELE ME NENT EIEN ETS N ETRE GID BEET ELIE LIE PRET STG LTE NLA RES A
Bea : yli rs Paradise oP the " a ia Eee Ze eter
967 Commonwenlth Avenue, Boston
Pealh e te 87) a
gees sy)
ee ee)
PS ec otl d ~ Youngblood Hart
SUNDAY, JANUARY 27
ob Cte mete
RS eee eee m mete| r od4
T Carson
ry py Aaa
MB ieMiuliiics oe aa FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15
a
THIS SATURDAY, JANUARY 26 WERS Welcomes : 6:30 DOORS / 7:30 SHOW / ALL AGES
6:30D OORS / 7:30 SHOW / ALL AGES
ry 4 ay es ; . oO , Ache Otiul
» Ryan Montbleau om
ae
te eg
" SATURDAY, MARCH 1
FEBRUARY 7
8:00 DOORS / 900 SHOW / 18+
6:30 DOORS / 7:30 SHOW / ALL AGES
Pits agLiveEnATION.com
Vaasa HARGE BY PHONE: [phone] tt
NOM ite sie)
D=ES ser] Brigb es De
American Expres ® points accepted for all concert tickets.
FIRST
||SUNDAY
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15
IN THEATERS THIS JANUARY
6:30 DOORS / 7:30 SHOW / ALL AGES
UPCOMING ORPHEUM THEATRE SHOWS
2/27 JAMES BLUNT « 3/9 JILL SCOTT CrimeDoesntPray.com
3/19 THE POGU¢E5 S/1 7 THE BLACK KEYS
4S
SCREEN GEMS.
=
A re ZAZA =9
Beiite a E eee) ce 1/26 AT NOON
» Sia
pwii sspoecisale g ue seta Ha)re M arn Supe rstar
MARCH 6
ee) ea Invisibles
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23
6:30 DOORS / 7:30 SHOW / ALL AGES
OMING OPERA HOUSE SHOWS
2/22 GIPSY KINGS * 4/20 BOWFIRE
EE LIVENATION.com
tchetmaster CHARGE BY PHONE: 866-44
THE BOSTON
EDUCATION
Our quarterly guide to education explores
the new on-campus options for pregnant
students and examines the growing
January 25 |2 008 legitimacy of online degrees . We also
look at the latest American brain drain:
the trend toward learning , and teaching,
Lontents
abroad. Plus, our improved, easy-to use
continuing-education listings.
THE COVER
News + Features Departments
ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT
4 EDITORIAL
12 CAN OBAMA LASSO REG COOK REFLECTS ON VAGINA DENTATA WN
5 LETTERS
THE BAY STATE? TEETH, AND( G ERALD PEARY INT ERVIEWS THE DIRECT
6 PSYCHO SUDOKU! )F THE CHET BAKER BIC LET'S GETL OST pé
BY DAVID S. BERNSTEIN 8 THIS JUST IN GODZILLA UNLEASHED PROVES THAT THOUGH CAMPY
Massachusetts is Clinton country, but MOVIES CAN BE FUNNY, CAME , VIDEO GAMES AREN'T ps
Odebfaeamta thweo uelsdnt'atb libseh mtehnet fircsht acmhpa llheenrge.e r to bRSaiacpcrtieessrmsi’ as |in“ KRBeeoaoslutigothyn’ |sC hBOeisc-ckca.or”a stsaclo refclaersdh -|e aDtaivnigd MBEOALNIEE’RSE ’ST HET HEL ITMTILSE ANDOTGH RLOAPUE GHAENDD1 ADKOEU G‘ LSAOSC IE{ T ARTOEUTR
TO THE WOODSHED | p3
EEDOM WATCH 10 SPORTS BLOTTER sy marr raves:
THE DANCE EVENING “TEN’S THE LIMIT” HAD ITS LIMITS AT
Whither Pacman? No place good. THE ICA | p10
_BY HARVEY SILVERGLATE Tl PRESIDENTIAL TOTE BOARD ARTISTS TWEAK CONSUMER CUL TURE IN “BRANDED AND
It was bad enough that the nation’s top phone companies BY STEVEN STARK ON DISPLAY” | p 11
stopped spying on us only because the FBI failed to pay its If McCain loses in Florida, a deadlocked GOP
phone bill. Now it turns out the Bureau’s “independent” might even turn to Fred Thompson!? BBC AMERICA'S TORCHWOOD COMES INTO ITS OWN AS A
auditor was anything but 23 DINING POST-GAY MULTIPLE-UNIVERSE SOAP OPERA | p 12
16 FAIRY TALES CAN KEEP YOU SANE Robert Nadeau enjoys the gimmick at STIX FINETMOI NIFSICTT IOPNS YC| Hp O1L3O GIST CAROL GILLIGAN STE PS BRAVELY
26 CLASSIFIEDS
_BY JAMES PARKER TABLOID BAD BOY PETE DOHERTY PROVES TO BE THE
30 PHOENIX PEOPLE GENUINE ARTICLE ON A LIBERTINES BEST-OF AND THE
Time to visit the weirdo woods of Fairyland, where author NEW BABYSHAMBLES DISC | p 14
George Saunders is performing a moonlit pas de deux with Hans
Christian Andersen. 32 AMvoOidO Nre paiSrsI,G NshSo rt AtSrTipRsO,L OlGoYn g BYt rSipYsM,B OLaInNdE DA! NTHOES TSAPLIGCIEA GI| RpL1S5’ REUNION IS CAUSE FOR CELEBRATORY
18 ON THE SKIDS meetings without someone taking notes.
32 PHOENIX CROSSWORD BEN CHASNY TIGHTENS UP HIS S ONGS FOR SIX ORGANS
OF ADMITTANCE | p 18
_BY ALAN R. EARLS
Front-wheel-drive cars offer more leg-room and better traction TEATRO LIRICO D'EUROPA'S TOSCA: HOW OPERA SHOULD
in the snowy weather of a Boston winter. Too bad most people BE DONE | p 20
don’t know how to drive them safely. AND IN “BACK TALK,” LENNY KRAVITZ STARTS A LOVE
REVOLUTION | p 42
DBi ttamaleloliie ieeea t) meelh ale sis
the Phoenix Best 2008!
This is no time for
complacency. Too many BOSTON | PROVIDENCE | PORTLAND
Editorial VOL. XxXxVl| NO. 4
MINDICH
lives are at stake. PUBLISHER + CHAIRMAN
PRESIDENT
CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER
is DAVIS DOING SENIOR VICE-PRESIDENT
ENOUGH? EXECUTIVE EDITOR
phaoads a ayn o BuerO- SmcaPioHlm Xm teo ntlthetsetn e rtsao @o2p2ha1x. tco ' m ESDDEEISNTIIOGORNR DMIARNEACGTIONR G EDITORh
ASSOCIATE DESIGN DIRECTOR
EDITORIAL DESIGNER
ARTS EDITOR h
ASSOCIATE ARTS EDITOR
Murder in the streets ARTS EDITORS
FOOD EDITOR
STAFF EDITORS
STAFF WRITERS
EVENTS EDITOR
ARTS LISTINGS COORDINATORS
ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR
CONTRIBUTING EDITOR
It is more than just a political problem. Plus, former State Senate CONTRIBUTING WR'TERS
president Robert Travaglini strikes a classy chord.
= CNAERTWOO NISMTE DIA
WES EDITOR
ASSISTANT WEB EDITOR
SENIOR WEB DEVELOPER
WEB DEVELOPER
ONLINE CONTENT COORDINATORS
WEB DESIGNER
INTERACTIVE SALES DIRECTOR
WEB SALES COORDINATOR
MARKETING/PROMOTIONS
VICE-PREOSFIN DATEIONNTAL PRINT SALES
NATIONAL SALES/MARKETING EXECUTIVE
NATIONAL SALES COORDINATOR
NATIONAL SALES ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE
ad VICE-PRESIDENT OF MARKETING AND BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT
DIRECTOR OF PROMOTIONS
¢ IADNUTLETR ACMTAIRVKEE TMIANRGK EMTAINNGA GEMRA NACER
RTISING SALES
VICE-PRESIDENT OFPR INT MEDIAS ALES
@ar s Vay througn janu GENERAL SALES MANAGER
Baorys to15n , eitgt h1te dey adulinegs t mesnt artw erteo a Kiylelaerd iinn = CSREEOTNRAIPIOOLRR AAATCCECC OOUMUNUNTST I CE EXXSEEACCLUUETTSII VVMEEASS N AGER
more than a decade. Seven were shot to TRAFFIC MANAGER KEVIN)
death, most in public, some in brazen TRAFFIC COORDINATOR
midday attacks. Bullets left at least four
others — including a 12-year-old boy
in critical condition
No conclusions should be drawn from ae ADVERTISING ART DEPARTMENT
any such short span of time. But ata © CREATIVE DIRECTOR Mik£ KIN
minimum, these incidents show clearly
that any gains made by new Boston Po havior in our
lice Department commissioner Ed Davis city, —
are incremental and tenuous from such
Mayor Thomas Menino delivered his an unlikely
State of the City speech amid this vio source as
lent spree, and in it he praised this past a politician
year’s reduction of homicides and violent turned-lobbyist
crime. He sounded, if not quite satis When former
fied, at least optimistic that the city had Senate president Travaglini — who FINANCE
turned the corner in this surge of gun Robert Travaglini had more than CORPORATE CONTROLLER Mi
brutality that is entering its fourth year resigned his seat a $200,000 left over —
Davis likewise began the year boast year ago to sore a decided to give
ing of an improved homicide-arrest rate, lobbying career, thousands of dollars
which rose to around 40 percent this was easy to be cated about this latest away to charities, according to his year
past year. That’s still well below the na move through the revolving door of Bea end report
tional average, though an improvement con Hill. While still frowning on that Much of that money was donated to
over recent inexcusable rates ulture, we find ourselves impressed by organizations in Travaglini’s beloved MAN RESOURCES
This is no time for complacency T1 00 the style in which he left, as evidenced East Boston, including the Crossroads
many lives are at stake by his campaign-finance report released Family Shelter, East Boston Central HUMAN RESOURCES ADMINISTRATOR R
CORPORATE EXECUTIVE RECEPTIONIST& MAR
Cun violence has a devastating effect this past week Catholic School, Anthony Picarello RECEPT ONESY/MUMAN RESOURCE ASSISTANT A
on the quality of life in the neigh Travaglini deserves our commenda Foundation, East Boston Little League, FF ES
borhoods where it most often tion not just for having his portrait Salesian Boys & Girls Club, and St. Dom
orcecsui®d:se,n tsa faarcet ntohwat dRiosscloivnedrailneg paiasn tethde fBoors tSotna tGel oHbeo usreep orptoestde ritthiys, ianlisco Sgaavvieo toH itghho seS chfoaorl .o utBsuitd eT rhaivsa gfloirnmie r PORTLANPDR OVIDCELNACSES IFIEDS
as some of the recent shootings past weekend. (However, we do district, including an autism charity in WwW VERIWEFB ISITEE D
appear to involve gang members think that’s a good thing in and Woburn, a medical foundation in Brain
in that previously immune area of itself. Hiring a local artist, and tree, Children’s Trust Fund in Boston, MANUSCRIPTS
There are no simple solutions, and paying him with his own leftover Children’s Hospital in North Adams,
no budget line-item that can fix this campaign funds, shows Travaglini and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in
overnight But just because it is difficult to be a patron in a fundamental and old Dedham
t mean ft hhiioonr edc iww ay He also threw several small shindigs
lains desper Trava to thank his friends advisors, staff,
rong enough t colleagues — who weren't even obliged THE PHOENIX MEDIA COMMUNICATIONS GROUP
A RARE DISPLAY OF ie bWrhiengn a Tcraavmapgaliingin ledfot naotffiioc n!e, this space RAECRTAOFRTBII VN EA NCOFI ANELOEr TWORSO FPFAIPCEERR GROUP PRESASLIEDSE NT
In the midst of su h dis tnhee uurrggee ttoo noted that “affection for him in the Sen PRESIDENT EMERITUS
new itis nicet trike again ate was real.” It’s easy to see why e
Letters
Reamii
Romney ~~
Part of me
hopes that Mitt
Romney will win
the Republican
nomination because
it will be easy for
the Democrats to
destroy him in the
general election as
a fraud, flip-flopper,
and liar. (See “Pants
on Fire,” Editorial, January 4.) Romney never would have im Tae aang -
been elected governor of Massachusetts with the right-wing- hongyhongy
extremist views he currently holds. It was clear 24 months
into his governorship that he was going to make a run at ORP HEU" THEATRE- FRIDAY, art rh
the White House. And with McCain and Giuliani cornering
the moderate vote, he saw that a “real conservative” — one agZLIVvVEnATION.com
with extreme views on taxes, religion, and abortion — was SireC otta tig Cie Sees eb)
needed. So he changed all of his positions throughout the
next two years.
Unfortunately for Romney, a real conservative — Mike
Huckabee — did run. And a real conservative beats a fraud
conservative every time. It is also painfully clear that all of
the other GOP candidates despise Romney. Sorry, Mitt: back
to Belmont/Salt Lake.
Carr
Medford
Write us
EMMAPKTEY THVEE SSMEOLSST LtBMehrAteot oekBr0los2is 2n1tme5o; an y A vfPeabhnxeoeu edemn ,ai itxol B eo6d1s1 2t76o t on , afrbeiel itwyo rtlod neisg ohtiisa toer, hearn d
sNHeeOea Ir,SS tEeh veeanr ! StIa wraks' s gtlaakde too n 8lsa5etd9atd.ftr8fe 2er0sw1ssr;ie@ tspe hrosxr’( . ece--oem -mamm iaaliioelrlde dt ol ettot ers Olfoobrma atmthaiic n khgiainsfg ts n acatrnuidtr iaclaa lfldlyia pi-r
tguhiseve feunwl a yus i ntflheoesr sm,I antntoietro nne mto druehr,a s mnaa urueshm tob smeueribt njceoflcwoutrnd )evt eo rai eAftdlilei ctlalietenpitghot neof rnsoea r n d adeobq ouuahtti em wohairnsl dis kniajlfulfssat iiricsne. tthWoi es
ing presidential-election considerations of space, area with the kind of
fairness, and clarity
cycles (“Net Results,” craven, pusillanimous
“Presidential Tote Board,” brand of compromise we
January 18). The hype sur- can expect from Clinton.
rounding the limitless As for Steven Stark’s
possibilities of Internet SIZING UP comments on the dreary
news and commentary THE PRESENT Internet landscape of po-
is bound to settle down, Regarding “Coing the Dis- litical commentary (“Net
leaving us once again with tance,” (“Presidential Tote Results,” January 18), his
reliable, professionally Board,” January 11), Hill- points are well taken. But
vetted sources of carefully ary Clinton realizes that, we should ask ourselves,
researched information. for her, the time is now or what kind of Internet
In the meantime, I never. For Obama, it may pundit would Edward R. Special guest: ROcrgesentepd DY
worry about those who be now, four years from Murrow have been? The
Special musical guest: K.
think the Internet “sup- now, or even eight. His beauty and the curse of
plies all” necessary in- time is destined to come. blogging is that one can trom liamshow.com eQonene CFF
formation, and that all What Clinton won't admit be bold without reper-
info on it is equally use- is that the presidency is cussions. But boldness, SU a em a Me OWN
ful and good. Most blogs not an opportunity for as soon as it surfaces,
just add too much noise. personal fulfillment. You becomes fatuous. With
Hopefully the few good can’t just do it because Morrow we had great tes- GaLivenaAtTion
sources will survive the you want to. You must be tament but great persecu- 866-448-7849 Liven ation
cacophony. good for the nation. tion. Take your pick.
MAGC! SMITH-DALTON That said, what makes GORDON MARSHALL MARGARETCHO.COM
or breaks a leader of the
Big Fat Whale ...0cc.ss
EXCLUSIVELY AT THEPHOENIX.COM
Online extras
[ME(EATe oTpHerE BOIFGMFR ATFIWaHdNAdLeGEn .EC2o0]m08 | '™ THE ONLY
CANDIDATE WHO
MANSCAPES.
CANDIDATES
No MORE
BALLOONS! weuum
FRIDAYS!
We
cx
i J
7
MISSION OF MYANMAR
A brutal military regime has left Burma in shambles;
even the name of the country is in dispute (just ask
Wikipedia). Enter Mission of Burma, who performed a
| DON'T BELIEVE THE NATIONAL
POET-LAUREATE SYSTEM benefit for the US Campaign for Burma this past weekend
IINT 'MS AAY ONFINCATIISONE.. IS_ BROKKEENN. CAN SOLVE at Great Scott. T-shirts were sold, money raised, speeches
ALL OF OUR given; Burma unveiled a batch of unrecorded songs; and
PROBLEMS. thePhoenix.tv pitched in to videotape the concert, which
YARGH! will be part of a clandestine television broadcast beamed
from Scandinavia to the oppressed Burmese people later
this month. For a preview, visit thePhoenix.tv.
PHOENIX FLASHBACKS:
PLUS FROM THE ARCHIVES
LOVE STAIN? Twenty years ago, Mimi
Coucher developed an obsessive lust for
the mark on Mikhail Gorbachev’s head. e\ e
Read the article in full, plus check out {
other highlights from the past 4o years of \ +
the Boston Phoenix \
Psycho Sudoku EaTtIO N_GO RTaOe ) Tam 1)
y
GOT MILKSHAKE?
‘“GREATER-THAN SUDOKU’ There’s already a Web site dedicated to There Will Be
Blood’s tag line, “I drink your milkshake,” which ranks
Plainview’s signature rant with the calling card of Tony
For this “Greater-Than Montana, a/k/a Scarface (1983), rendered in Al Pacino’s
Sudoku,” I’m not givin’ you bad Cuban accent: “Say hello to my little friend!” A fair
any numbers to start off comparison, and if you’re looking for other great movie
bad-guys’ lines that have summed up the spirit of an
with! Adjoining squares era, you might also throw in Pacino as Michael Corleone
in the grid’s 3-x-3 boxes muttering, “I 1ake him an offer he can’t refuse,” in
have a greater-than sign (>) 1972's The Godfather. Or Warren Beatty’s Clyde Barrow
summing up his resumé in Bonnie and Clyde in 1967, “We
telling you which of the two rob banks.” If there is anything in common, maybe
numbers in those squares it’s that each of these movies was released in times of
governmental transition or crisis
is larger. Fill in every square
Peter Keough, thePhoenix.com/OutsidetheFrame
as a guide. When you’ ‘? a7 OTHER BLOGS
done, as in a normal Sudoku,
every row, column, and 3-x-3 Pe TALKING POLITICS © Deval Patrick's budget proposal
box will contthea nuimbner s is sure to cause a stir; “Talking Politics” will be watching
1-9e xaconte ltiyme . (Solving the reactions
OUTSIDE THE FRAME © Our Oscar-nomination
hint: look for the 1 and 9 in follow-up
each box first, then move on SLOP CULTURE © TV's Cashmere Mafia — is it the new
to the 2 and 8, and soon.) Sex and the City?
THE PHLOG © Goldenstash at Herrell’s
~:
er Gy se €
ad
J
Ter ala tate li
—= } -_ a
This Just In_
Q$uotes4 + Nu mbers Judging Chris Matthews
Julian Houston on race in Boston
eee
Anyone meeting Julian Houston for the you,” but it might be ‘I don’t want to live
first time might feel intimidated. Ré next door to you.’”), Houston censured the
sumé aside, at 6-3, the former associate leftie pundit.
ESTIMATED OST INT justice of the Massachusetts Superior “(His comments] were another attempt
JANUARY 2 Court is a towering presence. His eyes by a representative of the media to stir
LAWRA E N bulge forth, confidently, boldly, like a up a controversy with stale information.
bullfrog’s, and won’t do much to put What does he base this opinion on? Events
you at ease. But when you meet him, that took place 30 years ago? The fact of
his eyes and his stature soften to reveal a the matter is that Boston has undergone
kind and gentle man. Now retired from enormous changes since the time that
the bench, Houston spends his time such a charge would have stuck.” (Mat-
writing fiction at his home in Brookline, thews, it should be noted, lives in Chevy
MILLION but it is his real-life back story that is the Chase, Maryland — you do the geographi-
stuff of novels. While attending Boston cal math.
University in 1962, Houston became an So, is Boston a racist city?
integral part of the local civil-rights “No more so than any other city in
CITY OF LAWRENCE (POPULATION 70,6 movement. At the end of his freshman the country, and that includes New
FIRE- NEPA RTMENT BUDGET FOR 200 year, he then took a leave of absence to England cities,” opined Houston. “It
$7 work for the civil-rights cause in Har- should be obvious, even to Chris Mat-
lem, organizing rent strikes and tutoring thews, that things have changed. Any
programs number of cities in the North, as well as
In 2005, Houston published his first the South, have black mayors, sizable
and only novel, the critically acclaimed black representation in city councils
in paperback The story, and state legislatures, as well as in the
MILLION
yllows a young dministration of school systems and
Re r key positions in urban govern
That is not to say that racism has
liminated, but, for the most part
sponsored racism has.”
iouston also weighed in on the presi
HOUSTON cites the decline of state- ] think America is ready
sponsored racism. is honest and ompassion
tan issue.” Though he
e’d be voting
ertainty over Barack
news's recer t a's candidacy. “I felt he was vulner
on as ar le on the issue of experience, and Is till
h 1 disguise edly —1 f t way
I thinkI ’m bette Neely Steinberg
Fear and Lying on the Campaign Trail
21st-century man
MITT ROMNEY (mid-speech, to enthusiastic knot of supporters in a South Car- decisive effect on tomorrow’s engagement.” And I told him —
olina Staples) And as I've said before, when | advised King Henry JOHNSON Governor, | was with you last week in Michigan
V to use more archers at the battle of Agincourt, thereby ensur- when you said that you also advised King Leonidas at the
ing victory, it wasn’t because I wanted to see the French army Battle of Thermopylae
destroyed by arrows, it was because I’ve been there, I know what ROMNEY Clen, | never said I advised King Leonidas. I never
it’s like to be outnumbered, marching toward Calais, I know — said that
GLEN JOHNSON, ASSOCIATED PRESS That's not true, governor. JOHNSON But last week you —
ROMNEY What's that? ROMNEY What | did there was simply point out that, if he put
JOHNSON | said, that’s not true. You never advised King Henry V the Spartans into that mountain pass, he could maybe hold
to use more archers up the armies of Xerxes for a day or two, buy himself some
ROMNEY Clen, listen to me, I’m not going to debate this with you. It’s time. That’s all
a matter of public record that in 1415, on the eve of the Battle of Agin- (Enter Romney press secretary Eric Fehrnstrom, wearing chain mail and
court, King Henry V and | had a consultation, the outcome of which swinging a mace
was that he decided to use some more longbowmen. That's a fact! FEHRNSTROM Don’t be argumentative with the candidate.
JOHNSON Covernor, it is not a fact. | don’t know what it is. It JOHNSON What, | can’t ask him a question?
might be a dream you had. FEHRNSTROM You're being argumentative with the candidate.
Sie ROMNEY Well, whatever construction you choose to put on them, Don’t be argumentative with the candidate.
Glen, ha ha, the facts are quite clear in this case. He said, “Gov- (Flattens Johnson with mace. Romney supporters cheer.)
‘Before we get started, what is your insurance?’
ernor Romney, I'm concerned that the French cavalry will have a James Parker
THE BOSTON PHOENIX | NEWS + FEATUR
John McCain, responding to Huckabee supporter Chuck Norris's contention that
at 71 years old, McCain may be too old for the presidency
In the Flesh
It’s a solid B, which isn’t bad considering the vagaries of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences. In our
January 11 issue, Phoenix film editor Peter Keough, after protecting his critical credentials by writing who and what
should be nominated for Oscars this 8oth time around, offered his predictions as to who and what would make the
final cut this year in the big-ticket categories.
Keough scored 24 out of 30 — that’s 80 percent — which he claims is “about par the for course with these things.”
He is, however, proud to have nailed the nomination results for best supporting actor and actress — 10 for 10.
And now, so our readers can debate the relative wisdom of backing directors Sean Penn and Sidney Lumet
over Juno’s 30-year-old Jason (Thank You for Smoking) Reitman and Michael Clayton first-time director Tony Gilroy
(screenwriter for all three Bourne blockbusters), we present (without envelope) the results.
STAPH INFECTION —
And the nominees are... Peter’s predictions were...
THE FULL STORY
BEST PICTURE (4 for 5)
Atonement Sweeney Todd
Juno Juno
Michael Clayton Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men No Country for Old Men Reading the New York Times this past week, you might have thought
There Will Be Blood There Will Be Blood gay guys were becoming the unwitting vessels of a rare, unyielding
flesh-eating disease. Making matters worse, the story (NEW BACTE-
BEST DIRECTOR (3 for 5) RIA STRAIN IS STRIKING GAY MEN) Said the bacteria was attacking and
Paul Thomas Anderson Paul Thomas Anderson spreading among gay men in San Francisco and Boston.
(There Will Be Blood) That’s right, a rare bug that threatened to eat away at gay guys like
Joel and Ethan Coen Joel and Ethan Coen mice on cheese is rampant right here, where New England cruises.
(No Country for Old Men) The Times also said the bacteria are transmitted by sex, or by a
Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton Sidney Lumet (Before the simple touch. According to the initial report, released online this
Jason Reitman (Juno) Devil Knows You're Dead) past week by the Annals ofI nternal Medicine, the Times said, “the new
Julian Schnabel (The Diving Sean Penn (Into the Wild) strain seems to have ‘spread rapidly’ in gay populations in San Fran-
Bell and the Butterfly) Julian Schnabel cisco and Boston . . . and ‘has the potential for rapid, nationwide
dissemination’ among gay men.”
Within hours, an AIDS-like panic was under way. EPIDEMIC
BEST ACTOR (3 for 5) FEARED — GAYS MAY SPREAD DEADLY STAPH INFECTION TO GENERAL
George Clooney (Michael Clayton) George Clooney POPULATION was the headline of a press release issued by the con
Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood Daniel Day-Lewis servative group Concerned Women for America; a European paper
Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd) Johnny Depp dubbed the bacteria “the new HIV.”
Tommy Lee Jones (In the Valley ofE lah Ryan Gosling (Lars and Not quite. The Staphylococcus aureus bacteria (S. aureus for short) has
Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises the Real Girl) been around for years, most commonly in hospitals, but the new
Denzel Washington strain (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA) is more
(American Gangster aggressive than it was in the past, and happens to be found in gay
men — possibly because they tend to be treated for STDs.
BEST ACTRESS (4 for 5) Dr. Stephen Boswell of Boston’s Fenway Community Health, a
Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth Angelina Jolie well-known expert on matters such as STDs (not that this bacteria is
The Golden Age) (A Mighty Heart) one) says that gay men need not be alarmed — just aware.
Julie Christie (Away From Her) Julie Christie “It's certainly reasonable to believe that S. aureus bacteria is trans-
Marion Cotillard (La Vie en Rose) Marion Cotillard mitted during sex, but we're really not sure,” says Boswell, making
Laura Linney (The Savages) Laura Linney a distinction between skin-contact transmission (including when
Ellen Page (Juno) Ellen Page skin touches during sex) and diseases that are transmitted only or
primarily when engaged in sex acts.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (5 for 5 — Bingo!) “This is something that needs to be dealt with . . . quickly if you
Casey Affleck (The Assassination have it. And, if you’re a doctor . . .a nd you’re not familiar with this
ofJ esse James .. .) strain, you might be tempted to prescribe a common drug that wouldn't
Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men) treat the infection,” says Boswell, who described a boil in a gay man's
Philip Seymour Hoffman (Charlie Wilson's War) nether regions as a sign of the infection. “This is not a new thing, and 1
Hal Holbrook (Into the Wild don’t think that it will remain confined to gay men, but everyone needs
Tom Wilkinson (Michael Clayton to know that it is a problem that is developing, that they need to be seen
and treated early by people who are knowledgeable.”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS (modesty forbids) In other words, if you have a seeping boil on your ass or near
Cate Blanchett (I'm Not There your penis, and you've had any contact with another guy (or girl, for
Ruby Dee (American Gangster Melee GAL that matter), get to a doctor and let him or her know that it could be
Saoirse Ronan (Atonement Be Bloods, something other than an ingrown hair.
Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone Tony Giampetruzzi
Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton
BY MATT TAIBBI
Sports Blotter
PACMAN RETURNETH THAT WAS FAST
The sad thing about Adam “Pacman” Mammoth Oklahoma
Jones is that we won't have him to defensive tackle Demar-
kick around in columns like this cus Granger, one of this
much longer. There are really only year’s first sports arrest-
two outcomes left available for this ees (he tried to boost a
kid, and neither of them involves any coat from a Burlington
kind of celebrity as an active sports Coat Factory in Tempe,
superstar. He’s either a) going to end Arizona), is back in
up in a cell next to Cecil “the Diesel” the news already. Ap-
Collins, drinking fermented prune parently no one told
juice out of a plastic bag and staring him that after you get
at a wall full of centerfolds for the arrested, you have to re-
next 15 to 18 hard years, or b) he’s go- turn to court for a hear-
ing to graduate to the level of “former ing. Granger missed his
big-name athlete, often arrested on first court date on Janu-
weird and disturbing minor charges,” ary 15, inspiring the
dla former Nebraska Cornhuskers star issuance of a warrant
linebacker Chad Kelsay — who, not under his name. His
long ago, was picked up for eating attorney got him off the
off of other customers’ plates at an hook this past Friday,
Amigo’s in Lincoln though, when a Tempe
It’s going to be one or the other, judge revoked the war-
and there really isn’t any middle rant. Granger is now
ground here. When last seen on the due back in court on
football field, Pacman Jones was March 3f or a pre-trial
the most dynamic and unstoppable hearing. Let’s hope he
athlete this side of Devin Hester, an wrtites the appointment
absolute beast of a player who, on down this time.
returns, walked through NFL line- Meanwhile, there
backers like they were high-school was another repeat
cheerleaders, and on defense lit up visitor to the “Sports
wideout after wideout, leaving them Blotter” this past week,
shaking on the turf and communicat- when Chicago Bulls
WRONG WAY just when it seemed as if Pacrnan jones
ing with team trainers using blinking was on the road to NFL reinstaternent, the habitual bone- minor leaguer JamesOn
eyelids. All this cat had to do to guar- head got intot rouble again — at as trip club, naturally. Curry (yes, he’s got a
antee himself a $150 million career capital “O” in there)
was not commit multiple violent got arrested in Idaho
felonies. Body Tap management of stealing one for peeing in an alley behind a hotel in
Think about that. How many guys of his bracelets and stormed into the the early-morning hours on January 17.
currently in the prison system would club office. When Jackson came over When cops approached him to try to
be there if all they had to do to make to “gawk,” as she put it, Jones alleg get him to stench the pee tide, Curry
$100K a week was not shoot, rape, or edly lunged at her and punched her in tried to run into the hotel. . .a dumb
stab somebody? If you took all 2.7 mil- the eye. story, but it makes the wire because
lion of America’s prisoners and asked Jackson withdrew her petition for Curry was once famously denied a
each of them if they could handle an arrest warrant the next day, and scholarship at UNC after selling weed
a daily regime limited to playing who knows what that means. But if to an undercover officer. Curry will
football, getting repeatedly and spec- not going to strip joints was all I had likely be suspended by the Bulls, who
tacularly laid, drinking comped high- to do to make $10 million a year, I'd have enough troubles without him.
balls, and buying gigantic diamond find a way to do it. With that much I mention these minor cases in order
necklaces, how many of them would cash, can’t you order delivery? to avoid discussing the Randy Moss
say, “No, sorry pal, I’ve got to work Even with the charges dropped, Incident That Did Not Happen (my posi-
some A-felonies in there as well”? I you've gotta give Pacman serious tion heading into the Super Bowl). Once
bet you're talking about maybe three, points for this one. He was a league the post-season is over, we can revisit
four thousand guys, tops. Not a lot leader in 2007 and is an early favorite whether this incident took place. ©
And Pacman is one of them. Out to eventually top the charts this year
of football this year after a pair of Give him 50 to start, and let’s keep When he's not googling “the Pac is back”
strip-club shooting incidents that a close well, let S leave the eye and “pee-and-run,” Matt Taibbi writes
in one case left a man paralyzed, yut of this Keep tabs from here for Rolling Stone. He can be reached at
Pacman stood a very good chance o in, Say [email protected].
being reinstated next season, pro
vided he could stay out of trouble THE TALLY FOR THIS YEAR
Specifically, he had to stay out of
strip clubs. But not only did he
reportedly go to a strip club the night JM LEVRITZ (EX-YANKEES) | DUI manslaughter | $0
before a meeting with commissioner ADAM “PACMAN” JONES (TITANS) | being a menace to peaceful strip-club patrons
Roger Goodell earlier this fall, he everywhere |5 0
also went again, and once again JOHN STEPHENS (EX-PATRIOTS) | sex-assault fugitive |4 8
managed to get himself arrested. DAVID CORNACCHIA (FLA. EVERBLADES) | mid-flight assault, head-butting bystand-
This time, he was accused of punch- ers, exposing wine-shrunken wiener | 46
ing a female attorney in the eye DANIEL GRAHAM (BRONCOS) |a mbiguous domestic-violence beef; hit a bedpost |3 8
in an Atlanta strip joint (sports- DEMARCUS GRANGER (OKLAHOMA) | stealing winter coat — in Arizona; refusing
crime by-rule No. 16B: it’s always an to appear |2 1
Atlanta strip joint) called the Body GERALD JONES AND AHMAD PAIGE (TENNESSEE) | Cheech and Chong/UpSimonke
Tap. Weirdly, the victim, a Wanda impersonation, while in car |1 2
Jackson, was a lawyer handling a SHAUN WHITE (X-TREME SPORTS) |s praying fire extinguisher, acting like the little
divorce case involving Jones. douchehbe iasg | 1!
The story goes that Jones accused