The Book of Bad

272 Pages·2011·2.721 MB·English

by  Christopher Barish

Book
the of
Bad

Stuff You Should Know
Unless You’re a Pussy
Christopher Lee Barish
Illustrated by Christian Kunze
All copyrighted material within is
Attributor Protected.
REBEL BASE BOOKS are published by

Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018

Copyright © 2011 Christopher Lee Barish

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced in any form or by any means without the
prior written consent of the publisher, excepting brief
quotes used in reviews.

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New York, NY 10018, attn: Special Sales Department;
phone [phone].

This book contains information about illegal activity
and substances. The publisher would like to
emphasize that engaging in some of the activities in
this book may carry heavy penalties and may threaten
individual liberty or personal livelihood and may also
cause serious injury. The aim of the publisher is to
entertain and to educate. The publisher does not
condone, in any way, the violation of law and does not
wish to encourage readers to engage in any of the
activities or techniques outlined in this book. In other
words, “don’t try this at home.”

REBEL BASE and the R logo are Reg. U.S. Pat. &
TM Off.

First printing: January 2011

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010931892

eISBN-13: 978-0-8065-3498-5
eISBN-10: 0-8065-3498-2

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INTRODUCTION
DERELICT’S SECTION
1. Pass a Polygraph Test
2. Score Prescription Drugs
3. Hack a Vending Machine
4. Get Out of the Armed Forces
5. Make a Molotov Cocktail
6. Create an Alias
7. Pick a Lock
8. Get Out of Jury Duty
9. Shoplift
10. Evade Surveillance
11. Beat a Speeding Ticket
12. Become a Porn Producer
13. Count Cards in Blackjack
14. Cheat at Poker
15. Beat the Dice
16. Avoid Cleaning Up After Your Dog
17. Get Free Internet
18. Hot-Wire a Car
19. Fake Your Own Death
20. Carry On an Affair
21. Score Free Food
22. Mask Marijuana Smoke
23. Siphon Gas
24. Cheat on Tests
25. Embellish a Resumé
Felon’s Section
26. Join the Mafia
27. Smuggle Materials
28. Make Counterfeit Money
29. Grow Marijuana
30. Rob a Bank
31. Commit Bigamy
32. Commit Insider Trading
33. Assume Somebody’s Identity
34. Escape Prison

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Much thanks to my family and friends for keeping
their distance, and in some cases, completely
disassociating themselves from me. I express my
deepest gratitude to the world’s scoundrels, deviants,
and law enforcement for sharing their sacred
knowledge in the ways of debauchery. Thanks to
Andrea Somberg and Mike Shohl for knowing Bad
when they saw it. To Richard Ember for his editing
mastery. To Nona Sue for setting the tone. To Ken
Friedman for his digital brilliance. To Suzanne Foley
for her thorough research and fluid prose. And to
Christian Kunze for lending his twisted talent to this
project.