The Best Thing about You Is You!

168 Pages·2016·4.58 MB·English

by  Anupam Kher

THE BEST THING ABOUT YOU IS
YOU!

Hay House Publishers (India) Pvt. Ltd.
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Hay House Inc., PO Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100, USA
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Hay House Publishing, Ltd., 17/F, One Hysan Ave., Causeway Bay, Hong Kong
Raincoast, 9050 Shaughnessy St., Vancouver, BC V6P 6E5, Canada Copyright © Anupam Kher, 2012
Photographs in chapters 14-25, 27-31, 34, 35 by Noni Chawla
Photographs in chapters 2, 32, 38, 40-47 by Ashok Chopra
Photographs in chapters 3-13, 37 by Taarini Chopra
Photographs in chapters 1, 26, 33, 36, 39, postscript, acknowledgements by Raghav Khattar
Photograph in chapter 5 by Jesse Robertson
Photographs in chapters 48, 49, 50 by Prem Kumar Singh Email: [email protected] The moral right
of the author has been asserted.
The views and opinions expressed in this book are the author’s own and the facts are as reported by him,
verified to the extent possible. The publishers are not in any way liable for the same.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, by any mechanical, photographic, or
electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording, nor may it be stored in a retrieval system,
transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use — other than for ‘fair use’ as brief quotations
embodied in articles and reviews, without prior written permission of the publisher.
Designed by Aeshna Roy at Hay House India ISBN 9789381431177
Printed and bound at
Thomson Press (India) Ltd., Faridabad
To
my grandfather
Pandit Amar Nath
who taught me
Bheega hua aadmi baarish se nahin darta.
(A man who is drenched is not afraid of the rain.)
Contents
Preface
1. We Are All Unhappy
2. Know Thyself, Be Thyself
3. The Anger Syndrome
4. Discontent Is a Disease
5. Analyse Yourself
6. Comparison Begets Regret
7. Thought Control
8. The Phenomenon of Change
9. Unfulfilled Relationships
10. Chasing Happiness
11. Be Detached
12. Relive and Relearn
13. Live Now and Forget the Past
14. Contemplation Helps Us Understand Ourselves
15. Motivation Is the Key
16. Destroy the Ego
17. Learn to Laugh at Yourself Too
18. Unleash the Power Within
19. Value Yourself
20. Spring Clean Your Life
21. The Wisdom in Fables
22. Handling Familiar Blues
23. Forgiveness Erases Bitterness
24. Can Love and Detachment Co-exist?
25. Old Wisdom from New-Age Gurus
26. Discard Excess Baggage
27. Friends Make Life Better
28. Confront Fear and Fight It Off
29. Don’t Allow Inhibitions to Limit You
30. Don’t Fear Change
31. Children Need Grandparents
32. Hope beneath the Wings
33. A Good Story Can Change Our Lives
34. A Smile Can Conquer Stress
35. Minor Issues Obstruct Happiness
36. Discover Your True Strength
37. Accept Change, but with Wisdom and Grace
38. Fear Has the Ability to Numb the Senses
39. Let Go of Fears
40. Joy Is Uplifting
41. Discover Yourself
42. Value Your Relationships
43. Different Strokes for Different Folks
44. Let Go of Apron Strings
45. In Failure Lies Success
46. Allow Friendship Time and Space
47. Adaptability to Change
48. Never Put Off till Tomorrow What You Can Do Today
49. Early Lessons in Life Create Lasting Impressions
50. Coping with Loss and Death
Postscript
Acknowledgements
Preface
A
S AN ACTOR WITH OVER 450 FILMS IN MY REPERTOIRE, IT HAS
been my privilege to travel the world and meet several hundreds of people
engaged in a wide spectrum of endeavours: From presidents to commoners; from
billionaires to paupers. For me, this is not a privilege to be taken lightly as I
enjoy meeting people. I also find it a very stimulating exercise to analyse them.
Actually, I find that I have a gift of analysing people. As I talk to them, I
sometimes wonder what kind of lives they must be leading, what kinds of
backgrounds they come from, the families they have raised and what makes
them tick. Certainly, my calling as a trained actor has helped hone this process as
understanding your character and getting under his skin makes your portrayal
more convincing.
But for me, it has not stopped at analysing others. I have constantly tried to
analyse myself and reinvent myself. You cannot be emoting the same way as,
say, a father, in 50 films. You have to be different and reinvent yourself. And
that process begins only when you rediscover yourself.
That process of rediscovery for me began when I was contemplating my one-
man play Kuchh Bhi Ho Sakta Hai (anything can happen) some years ago. Here
I was, a very successful actor if you count the number of films I had done. And
judging from the critical acclaim and the awards that I have won, I was not doing
too bad a job of it either.
For a boy who had grown up in the family of a lower division clerk in Shimla
with dreams for company, I had achieved fame and fortune beyond my wildest
imagination. And then, like it happens to most of us, the dreams got the better of
imagination. And then, like it happens to most of us, the dreams got the better of
me. I thought I had the Midas touch and nothing could go wrong. As was the
fashion a decade ago, I too set up a huge production house to make ‘software’
for the industry.
Initially, I had the most successful television programmes in my kitty. Not
satisfied, I diversified even further. I went into event management, for that was
the latest business to be in during those days, and staged many mega-events.
The cookie crumbled as it had to. Soon, with so many productions and events,
and poor financial management, which is the bane of our business, the cash flow
went kaput. And I was fighting a flurry of court cases from creditors. That was
when I discovered myself and began to do some self-therapy. I asked myself:
• Why did I want to become larger than life?
• What was I in pursuit of? Wealth or happiness? Or just a larger headline
than my rival production company?
In the process, I discovered many truths. And I formulated many exercises,
which I introduced in my acting school called ‘Actor Prepares’. (I started this
school in 2005 in Mumbai.) Today, ‘Actor Prepares’ is also running in
Chandigarh, Ahmedabad and London. It teaches people to discover themselves.
That was how I formulated The Change Within concept. In this volume I
discuss some facets of this life-coaching programme. The purpose of my writing
this small book is to initiate change — for the better — in our lives.
Anupam Kher