The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader PDF
Preview The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader
The BEST of Uncle John’s BATHROOM ® READER The BEST of Uncle John’s BATHROOM READER The Bathroom Readers’ Institute Bathroom Reader’s Press Ashland, Oregon THE BEST OF UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER Copyright © 1995 by The Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. “Bathroom Reader” is a federally registered trademark of Baker & Taylor, Inc. “Uncle John” is a trademark of Baker & Taylor, Inc. For information, write The Bathroom Readers’ Institute, P. O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520 www.bathroomreader.com Cover Design by Michael Brunsfeld ISBN-13: 978-1-6071-0677-7 Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 95-79394 27 26 25 24 23 07 08 09 10 11 “Why Your Feet Smell,” by Teo Furtado. Copyright © 1994. Reprinted by permission of the author. “The Great T.P. Shortage,” by Ralph Schoenstein. Copyright © 1974. Reprinted by permission of the author. “King of Farts,” excerpted from It’s a Gas: A Study of Flatulence, by Eric S. Rabkin, Ph. D. and Eugene M. Silverman, M.D., Manticore Books. 3644 Creekside Dr., Ann Arbor, MI 48105. Reprinted by permission of the authors. “Elvis’s Toothbrush” originally appeared in Meet the Stars. Copyright © 1985, by Missy Laws. Reprinted by permission of Ross Books. “You Can Collect Toilet Paper,” originally appeared in Antique & Collecting Magazine. Copyright © 1990, by Harry L. Rinker. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Supermarket Secrets,” originally appeared in Nutrition Action Health Letter of the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Copyright © 1995, by David Schardt. Reprinted by permission of the publisher. “Birth of the Bikini,” “Fabulous Flops,” “The Mini-Skirt Saga,” “Mustang: Car of the ’60s,” “How Pantyhose Hatched,” originally appeared in 60s!. Copyright © 1983, by John and Gordon Javna. Reprinted by permission of the authors. “M*A*S*H,” “I Love Lucy,” “Star Trek,” “The Twilight Zone,” “Gilligan’s Island,” “Lost In Space,” “Batman on TV,” “The Three Stooges” originally appeared in Cult TV. Copyright © 1985, by John Javna. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Louie, Louie,” “The Magic Dragon,” “Layla,” “The Monster Mash.” “First Hits,” “Real Life Songs” originally appeared in Behind the Hits. Copyright © 1985, by B. Shannon and J. Javna. Reprinted by permission of the authors. “The Birds” originally appeared in Animal Superstars. Copyright © 1985, by John Javna. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Doo-Wop Sounds” originally appeared in The Doo-Wop Sing-Along Songbook. Copyright © 1985 by J. Javna. Reprinted by permission of the author. Selections from Primetime Proverbs. Copyright ©1989 by Jack Mingo and John Javna. Reprinted by permission of the authors. “Marilyn,” “Elvis Lives” originally appeared in It’s a Conspiracy! by the National Insecurity Council. Text © 1992 by Michael Litchfield. Published by EarthWorks Press. Reprinted by permission of EarthWorks Press. THANK YOU! The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible. John Javna John Dollison Lenna Lebovich Gordon Javna Erik Linden Jack Mingo Melissa Schwarz Sharilyn Hovind Susan LaCroix Larry Kelp Andy Sohn Michael Brunsfeld Sherry Powell Amber James Benjamin Brand Brad Bunnin Lori Emerson Gordon Van Gelder Eric Lefcowitz Leni Litonjua Julie Roeming Gordon Javna Lonnie Kirk Paul Stanley Bennie Slomski Gordon Javna Thomas Crapper Jesse & Sophie, B.R.I.T. …and all the bathroom readers Hi to Emily and Molly! P. S. THANKS FOR ALL THE LETTERS! Here’s one of our all-time favorites (No kidding—someone really sent this to us) … Uncle John, It was a strain writing, but now that we’ve started, it’s a relief, I’m sure the feeling will pass, so being brief, we’d like to “sit down and be counted”—it has really bowled us over! We were unable to flush out any discrepancies….Well, that about wipes it up. —Mike and Dan M., Colora, Maryland Uncle John’s Handy Reference Guide Here’s a book-by-book list of the chapters in The Best of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. It wasn’t easy picking our favorites…we hope you like them. If you do…check out Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader vol. 1-7! The following articles are from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. Copyright © 1988, by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. Reprinted by arrangement with St. Martin’s Press. Word Play p. 65 Doo-Wop Sounds Holy Punctuation Superstitions Be My Valentine Customs The Magic Dragon The “Louie, Louie” Story Gilligan’s Island Star Trek The Twilight Zone I Love Lucy Nixon Sez Mustang: Car of the ’60s Groucho Sez Quotes from JFK Allenisms The Monopoly Story Toy Origins Hula Hoop What a Doll Elvis’s Toothbrush Junk Food Controversy Fabulous Food Flops Bathroom Lore Birth of the Bikini Car Names Name That Food p. 416 Cary Grant, Acid-Head Lost in Space Myth America p. 21 Word Play p. 23 A Food is Born p. 27 Hot Dog! On the Ballot Campaign Smears M*A*S*H Mark Twain Sez Selections also appear in: Rumors p. 439 Famous for 15 Minutes p. 26 Wordplay pp. 471-2 Familiar Names pp. 79-80 Famous for 15 Minutes pp. 280-81 GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE In Lynch Heights, Delaware, a woman filed for divorce because her husband “regularly put itching powder in her underwear when she wasn’t looking.” The following articles are from Uncle John’s Second Bathroom Reader. Copyright © 1989, by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. Reprinted by arrangement with St. Martin’s Press. Real Names Limericks Diner Lingo Road Kill The Story of Layla The Three Stooges The Patented Car Fabulous Flops p. 463 Come Up and See Me… W.C. Fields Sez Lily Tomlin Says… Vonnegut Says… Will Power The Birds The Last Word Myth America p. 181 Myth America p. 102 Thomas Crapper: Myth or Hero Baseball Names Football Names Inside Mother Goose The Gumby Story The Birth of Kleenex Money Talk The Origin of Levi’s Monster Movies The Miniskirt Saga How Pantyhose Hatched Dumb Predictions America’s Nostradamus Yogi Sez Diner Lore The Name Is Familiar The Origin of Frankenstein Around the House Famous For 15 Minutes p. 198 Their Real Names But They’d Never Been There
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