s e mili April, May and June 2013 Volume 24; Edition 2 a The ARK, A Publication of the American Association of Interchurch Families F International Standard Serial Number: ISSN 1943-6467 (print) h c THE ARK r ISSN 2160-682X (online) u h c r e t n A Publication of the American Association I f o of Interchurch Families n o ati 2 AAIF IS A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION, ci n REGISTERED IN THE STATE OF NEBRASKA o o s ti As di Earlier editions of the ARK may be found at E n http://www.interchurchfamilies.org/ a 4; c 2 Select “Other Publications” ~ Then scroll down to find the ARK eri e m m A u Interchurch Families: ol e V Christian Unity Made Visible in our h of t 3; Households n 1 o 0 ati e 2 The ARK© c n bli u Copyright 2013 J Pu d AAIF n a a all rights reserved K, y a R M A , HE pril T A Interchurch Families “Listen with the ear of your heart” An Evening Prayer “ Let us look expectantly to a new day, new joys, new possibilities.” Lord, it is night. The night is dark. The night heralds the dawn. Let our fears of the darkness Let us look expectantly to a The night is for stillness. of the world and of our own new day, Let us be still in the presence lives new joys, of God. rest in you. new possibilities. It is night after a long day. The night is quiet In your name we pray. Let the quietness of your Amen. What has been done has peace enfold us, been done; all dear to us © A New Zealand Prayer Book He Karakia what has not been done has and all who have no peace. Mihinare o Aotearoa 1989 p.185 not been done; let it be. “What counts is prayerfulness, not prayers. 1 And the fullness of prayer is grateful living.” ~ Unknown Contents s e mili Page 2 Contents and Contacts for the American Association of Interchurch Families a Pages 3 - 5 Hope and Possibility found among the Children of Bi-Cultural Interchurch F h Families c ur Page 6 The Purpose and Nature of Prayer h c Pages 6 - 9 Reflections on Prayer: What is Prayer? by New Zealand Theologians r e Pages 10 - 11 Prayers from New Zealand that address our daily lived experiences t n I Page 11 Implications for Interchurch Families regarding: Prayers from New Zealand that f o address our daily lived experiences in the U.S.A. By M. J. Glauber n o Pages 12 - 13 A Blessing...What is a Blessing? Blessings are words that offer encouragement ati 2 ci n & The Many Names by which we call “God” o o Pages 14 - 15 The Pew Report on religion in the U.S.A and American Families; s ti As di Implications for Interchurch Families and Ecumenists Seeking Christian Unity E an 4; By M. J. Glauber c 2 Pages 15 - 16 Gratitude, as expressed by Interchurch Families by Anna Sinclair eri e m m Page 17 Unity ...Why? by The Rt. Rev. Steven Charleston, Choctaw A u Page 17 The Bible addresses Christian Unity, with implications for Interchurch Families ol e V h Page 18 Lectio Divina: The Bible speaks about Gratitude- Our Goal is to Incorporate of t 3; Biblical Gratitude into the Ways We live Our Lives By M. J. Glauber n 1 Page 19 Beatitudes for Interchurch Families by Fr George Kilcourse, Professor of o 0 ati e 2 Theology at Bellarmine College, Louisville, Kentucky c n Page 20 Christian Unity, Baptism and Interchurch Families: Everything relies on that Holy bli u u J Light P d n Page 21 World Council of Churches 10th General Assembly: 30 October - 8 November, a a K, y 2013 in Busan, South Korea; An Invitation for Interchurch Families a R M Page 22 Many Thanks A , HE pril T A Contacts for AAIF: AAIF 2012 OFFICER about how to become more SECRETARY = actively involved with AAIF. You ELECTION Diane & Lamar Burton would be welcomed by this The results of the AAIF Board [email protected] group. Member’s Election this past fall in 2012 have been tabulated. TREASURER = The next AAIF Conference will The following were elected by a Elaine & Clint Hall be in 2016. Please plan to join unanimous vote to the following [email protected] us. All are welcome. Details to positions: follow in a future issue of the The current term of office will ARK CO-CHAIR = be from July 1, 2012 through Libbye & Guy Montgomery June 30, 2014, at which time [email protected] another election will be held. VICE CO-CHAIR = Please contact any of the Lynne & Doug Wragge above mentioned officers if you [email protected] would like to have information 2 Hope and Possibility found among the Children of Bi-Cultural Interchurch Families The Children business, companies are on interchurch marriages. We the lookout for people who are have no statistics from which of Bi-Cultural likely to bring a creative spirit we can determine how many to their work. A paper by potential interchurch marriages Interchurch Carmit Tadmor, Adam Galinsky, are for whatever reason not and William Maddux in the becoming interchurch Families September, 2012 issue of the marriages. Converting the Journal of Personality and spouse may sound like a good Provide Great Social Psychology explores option, but I have observed how living abroad can that frequently the spouse who Hope For influence people’s creativity.” has converted is absent regarding their new church. Those Who How can living abroad in This, of course, isn’t always the another culture influence case. The drop outs seem to Are Seeking people’s creativity? be gaining ground in our society according to a recent Christian Dr. Markham observes that Pew Study on church “ When people live abroad for attendance. Unity. an extended period of time, there are three possibilities for their relationship to their host Dr. Markham observes that culture. “The researchers suggest that Art Markman, Ph.D. wrote 1. One possibility is that when people become they will retain their original bicultural, it helps them to see “Becoming Bi-Cultural cultural identity and keep many sides to an issue. This Makes You More Creative, themselves separate from their integrative complexity allows The Value of Living in More host culture. them to be more creative. Than One Culture.” I found 2. A second possibility is After all, being creative often his article in Psychology Today. that they will assimilate to the involves seeing things in more host culture and lose their than one way.” Being able to Dr. Markman observes that “ original cultural identity. see many aspects or many Innovation provides a key path 3. A third possibility is that sides to any given situation to business success.” He they will become bicultural, and allows observes how creativity helped will retain a strong tie both to companies like Apple to their original culture and to the Dr. Markham observes that succeed in a very competitive host culture.” Carmit Tadmor, Adam Galinsky, market. Apple had taken a and William Maddux in the different approach from its I focused on the use of the September, 2012 issue of the competitors. Dr. Markham term “Possibility” that Dr. Journal of Personality and observes that “Companies that Markham had examined. I Social Psychology explores bring out new and exciting immediately saw a similarity how living abroad can projects capture people’s with the three possible options influence people’s creativity. To imaginations and ultimately for those who are immersed in do this study, “they tested this people are willing to pay a another culture with the prospect in a series of studies premium for their new potential that we observe when using people who had lived products.” a couple, coming from two abroad.” different Christian traditions, Dr. Markham observes that “ marries. Some simply drop out, “In each study, the researchers Because of the key role of some convert to their spouse’s measured whether people innovation in generating new faith and some become were separate from their host culture, assimilated to it, or 3 Hope and Possibility found among the Children of Bi-Cultural Interchurch Families bicultural. They also assessed ideas that were successfully We are seeking a way forward s e a variety of personality implemented in their toward Christian Unity. The mili characteristics to ensure that companies. A second study task may seem overwhelming a the findings were based on the found that bicultural individuals at times. F degree to which people were also more likely than h For interchurch families c became bicultural and not separated and assimilated r u where the parents both retain h because of a basic personality individuals to be promoted and c their own denominational r variable that leads people to be to achieve high levels of status e identity, but who allow their nt more accepting of a new in their company. In both I children to become involved in culture.” cases, the degree of f o the church of their spouse as integrative complexity n “They also measured people’s well as in their own church, we o supported by being bicultural ati 2 tendency toward integrative have observed that the ci n complexity by having them was the best statistical children have a deeper o o explanation for these findings.” s ti write essays about a dilemma. understanding of the nuanced s di A E Essays displaying integrative This is a short article based on differences in practices found n a 4; complexity were ones that lengthier reports that examine in each church. c 2 eri e acknowledge both sides of the in greater detail the positive In our lived experience, they m m dilemma and talked about the aspects of biculturalism. We have been the ones who have A u relationship between the think of children who are raised ol been able to clearly articulate e V opposing sides.” in two church homes, those h of t 3; Dr. Markham observes that “In homes that are truly ainn pdr aecxtpiclaeisn athnods ael sdoif freerleantec es ation e 201 owneere s aimspkeled sttou dlisy,t paas rmticaipnayn ts icinnhtteiilmdrcraehtneu rawcrhae yh e otxomp toehssee wtdwh ioen r aen t he hI ohwav teh eayls aor eo bthsee rsvaemde t.h at they c n functions as possible for a bli u churches of their parents as have a greater depth of Pu d J brick. Previous research being a form of bi-cultural understanding of the potential a an suggests that creative people experience. Dr. Markham and possibility for Interchurch K, y are more likely to find many observes, “Putting all of this Families which they are able to a uses for a brick than those who R M together, the value of living articulate quite clearly to both A are not that creative.” HE pril, “Participants who were aebffororta tdo cuonmdeesrs ftraonmd pthuett innegw in communities. T A Among their peers, they are bicultural typically found more culture while at the same time quickly able to dispel uses for a brick than either retaining an original cultural misunderstandings both about those who were separate or identity. Truly understanding their peers’ home church and assimilated to the host culture. and identifying with two any misunderstandings or Statistical analyses suggested cultures allows people to see myths about the other church. that the best explanation for the same issue from multiple These bi-cultural interchurch this difference was that the perspectives. In real world children provide great hope for bicultural participants also settings, this ability to consider those who are seeking displayed more integrative different sides of a situation Christian Unity. complexity in their essays.” allows people to generate new ideas and to innovate. These Is this a resource to be found Dr. Markham notes that “Two findings suggest that in the wisdom of our own other studies explored the companies would do well to interchurch families’ children workplace. One study found find employees with that has been largely over- that bicultural individuals were experience in more than one looked for the wisdom they more likely than separated and culture.” Dr. Markham has have? assimilated individuals to start applied his findings to new companies based on new corporations seeking At times, we may even become ideas and to generate new innovative solutions. discouraged as we seek a 4 Hope and Possibility found among the Children of Bi-Cultural Interchurch Families pathway toward Christian Unity. are in me, and I in you, Art Markman, Ph.D., is Annabel Sometimes, we perceived that they also may be in Irion Worsham Centennial roadblocks of sorts that stop us Professor of Psychology and us, so that the world may from seeking that pathway Marketing at the University of believe that you have forward toward Christian Unity. Texas at Austin. sent me. “Miracles” It is God’s wish for us to work He got his Sc.B. in Cognitive Please take a moment to for Unity. Love is the beacon Science from Brown and his consider quietly the following that must guide us toward that Ph.D. in Psychology from the quotes: Unity. We also must be able to University of Illinois. consider all the possibilities that Willa Cather said, "Where there He has published over 125 already exist among us; in a is great love there are always scholarly works on topics in culturally diverse world, there is miracles." higher-level thinking including great potential for being able to Marianne Williamson said, find creative solutions that will the effects of motivation on "Miracles occur naturally as help us to find the Unity we learning and performance, expressions of love. The real have been seeking for a very analogical reasoning, miracle is the love that inspires long time. by M.J. Glauber categorization, decision making, them. In this sense everything and creativity. that comes from love is a Dr. Marham’s original article can miracle." - Marianne Williamson Art serves as the director of the be found at http:// program in the Human C.S. Lewis said, "Miracles are a www.psychologytoday.com/ Dimensions of Organizations at retelling in small letters of the collections/201208/your- the University of Texas. very same story which is written creative-flow/becoming-bi- across the whole world in letters cultural-makes-you-more- He is currently executive editor too large for some of us to see." creative of the journal Cognitive Science Saint Augustine said "Miracles Further reading on the cultural and a member of the editorial are not contrary to nature, but nuances of being truly bi- board of Cognitive Psychology. only contrary to what we know cultural and our ability to be about nature." creative (find creative solutions) Books by Art Markham, Ph.D. can be found at: Ann Voskamp said, ”Gratitude Tools for Innovation: The for the seemingly insignificant -- http:// Science Behind the Practical a seed --this plants the giant www.psychologytoday.com/ Methods That Drive New miracle.” blog/ulterior-motives/201006/ Ideas; by Arthur B. Markman, These quotes indicate to me can-living-abroad-make-you- Kristin L. Wood; Oxford that miracles, hope, and more-creative University Press, USA http:// possibility may exist all around us, not just for the select few, www.psychologytoday.com/ Smart Thinking: Three but for all of us, if we are open collections/201106/cultivating- Essential Keys to Solve to them. Love and gratitude creativity/go-the-flow Problems, Innovate, and Get seem to be at least some of the Things Done; by Art Markman; http:// key components needed to be Perigee Trade www.psychologytoday.com/ able to move us forward toward collections/201106/cultivating- what Christ wished for all of us creativity/everyday-creativity as written in http:// John 17:21 www.psychologytoday.com/ collections/201106/cultivating- 21 that they may all be creativity/how-renaissance- one, just as you, Father, people-think 5 The Purpose and Nature of Prayer; s e Prayers that may serve Interchurch mili a F Families well in their homes h c r u h c r e The Nature of Prayer: http://www.otago.ac.nz/chaplain/ t n otago017083.pdf I of “Intercessory Prayer is the purifying bath into n which the individual and the fellowship must New Zealand Chaplains share some of their: o ati 2 enter every day.” Reflections on Prayer: ci n – Deitrich Bonhoeffer o o s ti What is Prayer? s di A “If we truly love people, we will desire for them E an 4; far more than it is within our power to give them, c 2 and this will lead us to prayer. Greg Hughson: meri me For me, prayer has to do with being in A u Intercession is a way of loving others.” relationship with God. ol e V – Richard Foster h of t 3; Prayer nurtures and sustains my relationship “The purpose of prayer is to prepare our own with God. n 1 o 0 hearts for the in-breaking of God, for the putting ati e 2 on of the mind of Christ, for the burst of Each time I pray, I am acknowledging God’s c n bli u awareness, when it comes, that God is not loving presence with me. J u somewhere else. P d n Sometimes I offer quick “arrow prayers” to God – a a K, y God is here, now, in our hearts.” requests for help and guidance in specific a R M – Joan Chittister OSB situations. A , HE pril “On every occasion of uneasiness we should At other times, especially just before sleep or T A retire to prayer that we may give place to the sometimes during the night, my prayers are grace and light of God.” more extended conversations with God. – John Wesley At these times, prayer enables to me to make sense of the way my life is unfolding in “Prayer is a serene force at work within human relationship with God. beings, stirring them up, changing their hearts, never allowing them to close their eyes in the Prayer with God expands the horizons of our face of evil, of wars, of all that threatens the thinking, our living and our actions. As a innocent of this world. result of prayer we become more aware of the spiritual significance of our lives. From it we draw the energy to wage other struggles, to transform the human condition and In prayer to God we can express our deepest to make the earth a place fit to live in. needs and we can discern God’s way for our lives. All who walk in the footsteps of Christ, while holding themselves in the presence of God, Prayer is not a mechanical process. We remain alongside other people as well. They do cannot manipulate God in any way. God not separate prayer and solidarity with others.” knows our needs before we ask. – Brother Roger of Taizé 6 Reflections on Prayer: What is Prayer? Through prayer we can have our perspective on We are all in relationship with God in our own life restored and we can find refreshment for the way and in prayer this uniqueness is expressed journey of life through being in touch with the in the variety and all the personal ways we have Holy One in whom we live, move and have our of praying. being. The delightful paradox with all of this is that There is a lot more to life than what we can see God prays in us; it is waking up to this with our eyes! There is a sacred and unseen – which is prayer. yet very real – spiritual dimension to life, which we can access through prayer. It can be about conversation with God, sharing Prayer is “the way in” to encounter the mystery all that has happened or is about to happen in of God. our day. When we pray, we adopt a “posture Prayer is about refreshment of receptivity” towards a personal encounter – we all live within multi- environments, and with God. some of these ecosystems are polluted with When we pray, we open ourselves to being demands, expectations, threats, negativity; more consciously in relationship with our prayer is about letting go and being with God as Creator. the Ultimate of all reality. Christian prayer to God is often offered in and We can leave prayer feeling refreshed, and with through the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and a new clarity. Saviour. Through the life, death and risen presence of Jesus Christ, we have access Prayer requires space to God in a personal way. – we need to give time to prayer, it need not be a huge amount of time. Through our faith in Christ, we can experience something of the personal nature of God. The saying “quality rather than quantity” relationship with our Creator. applies here. Christian prayer to God is often offered in and I mean it is easy to get caught up in the myth through the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and that a great amount of time needs to be given to Saviour. prayer. Through the life, death and risen presence of No, prayer is about discovering the holiness Jesus Christ, we have access to God in a that is already in time. A few minutes here, personal way. and a minute or so there can help us to appreciate that God is with us all the time. Through our faith in Christ, we can experience something of the personal nature of God. Space is also about place: sometimes to pray in a garden, or with a view of the changing sky, or beside a lit candle, or before and icon or in a Mark Chamberlain: Church, can nourish and support our prayer. Prayer is about relationship – when we pray we express and experience Prayer is about listening the relationship we have with God. – in prayer we stop our chatter and move into a mode of listening, even if for a few minutes. 7 Reflections on Prayer: What is Prayer? s e mili God seldom speaks back in clear defined Prayer is also about listening and being a F words. Not so; rather in a sudden thought, or an attentive to the God who has told us God’s h emerging feeling, or a slither of inspiration or a greatest desire is to communicate; to express c r u moment of understanding. overwhelming love, care and concern for me as h c a unique individual and as part of the wider r e We sometimes hear people talk about human race. t n I distractions in prayer, but they are no longer so f o if we choose to see them as providing our real Prayer is Sacred n o agenda for prayer. – in communicating with God we stand on ‘holy ati 2 ground’. We are ‘set apart’ in this incredible ci n Prayer is about intercession event. o o s ti – we all need help, and frequently we struggle s di A E to help ourselves, let alone our friends or family. In prayer we commune with our Creator. The n a 4; One who sets the stars in place, who oversees c 2 eri e In prayer we actually admit our powerlessness the replication of DNA, and who guides the flow m m and ask God to help us. of human history chooses to work with us and A u through us for our good and for the good of all. ol e V The answer usually involves us helping in one This is a sacred task. h of t 3; way or another. This part of prayer more than n 1 any other expresses our connection with and Prayer is Ordinary atio e 20 oauttrr ascotliivdea raitbyo wuti tthh iost,h iesr tsh. aWt bhoatth I tfiimnde saon d s–a cthreisd i nevxiptienrgie anncde rtehsapt oisn spirvaey,e rre olactciounrsa li na nthde c n bli u distance are no limitation. midst of the ordinary J Pu d things of life. n a a http://www.otago.ac.nz/chaplain/ K, y otago017083.pdf No special place, time, language, stance or a R M mood is required. A , HE pril Mike Wright: Simply ourselves and who and what we are in T A Prayer is Invitation and Response the moment is all that is needed. No issue of – for me, prayer is about invitation and life is too big or too small to bring to God’s response; God’s initiative and our response to attentive ear. No triumph or failure unimportant the great mystery that is God (regardless of enough to speak of. whoever or whatever you understand God to be). Prayer is integrative, inclusive and whole-of- life embracing. It is an acknowledgement of a divine presence in the world and in my own personal experience Amy Armstrong: of life that is unseen yet very real. Prayer is spending quiet time, getting Prayer is Relationship to know God and the Spirit that dwells – in praying we assume that God is listening within us, more intimately. and is interested in what we are saying. When we spend quiet time in prayer, we have This implies relationship. God is not therefore an increased awareness of God’s presence – in an impersonal Force. the world and within our own hearts. 8 Reflections on Prayer: What is Prayer? Prayer is becoming still on the inside, and when Paul Armstrong: this stillness occurs, we have better perspective on everything because we are more closely Prayer is being. It is the most essential attuned to God. state. It is the very presence of my self to Christ. We see and hear more clearly and have an increased capacity to love. Even making It is in this place, where I am unconcerned decisions can be easier. To sit quietly with God with my own self, just in the fact that I am, and feel the love that he has for us – this is that I am with Christ. prayer. To let go, to let be. To simply exist. ‘My sheep know my voice’, says Jesus. And This is in fact the purest form of the result of silent prayer is increased peace being. This is prayer. and the ability to recognise his voice in the world. Lyn Meinders: Prayer is the most important part of my When we sit and listen to God, we get to relationship with God. Prayer is a continual know that voice better and are able to hear it open line to God. For me it is like a phone more clearly amongst the noise of our daily conversation – sometimes I speak and lives. sometimes I listen. It’s like when you spend a lot of time in the peace and quiet of the bush, you get to know I need to listen when God speaks to the calls of the native birds quite well. And then one day you are walking in the midst of the me or prompts me to do something. bustle of campus and you hear the sharp and In the same way God listens to the melodious call of the Grey Warbler or the Bell requests I make. Bird. You are quite surprised to hear it in a different place, but you know it in an instant. Likening prayer to a ‘telephone’ conversation means that I never ‘hang up’. I have the line And it is because you spent so much time in the open 24/7. Saying ‘amen’ for me is hanging up quiet of nature, getting to know it intimately the phone line and I don’t want to do that. almost without realising it, that you recognise it. Sometimes the thoughts that I have could only be God … they are so ‘far’ out there, that I am And the sound is so sweet and so soothing, that not sure I could think of the things myself. you stop and reflect, becoming calmer on the inside. And now you see campus differently However, they will inevitably lead to an than you had a moment ago. encounter or appointment which is always a two way blessing. That is why prayer, and having It’s the same with the kind voice of God. the line open to God at all times, for me, is so God is always there, speaking to us, loving very important. us and guiding us. http://www.otago.ac.nz/chaplain/ An important part of prayer is to calm otago017083.pdf and quiet your soul long enough to hear what God is saying to you. 9 Prayers from New Zealand s e mili a A Morning Prayer A Prayer for Families F Kia ora my Friend God. Dear God, thank you for my family. Thank you h c r I give to you the voyage of this day, that to be for the love and the care that I have received u h which is already yours, adding to it my rejoicing, from them all. c r a shout of praise. Amen. Amen. e nt You are the wind: fill up my sails. Even though we may be far away from each I f You are the water: run fast beneath my keel. other geographically, we nevertheless still feel o n And I will sing in the wind and dance over the deeply connected. o ati 2 water, God my Friend, oh God my Friend. ci n You are the light: enfold me, Thank you that all families are different and o o You are the darkness: embrace me. that my family is uniquely special. I realise that s ti s di You are pain: hollow me. no family is perfect. A E n You are love: overflow me. a 4; c 2 The storms of change are you, Help me to value the strengths, and deal with eri e and the peace of tranquil waters. the inadequacies of my family. m m You are all these things Friend God, and I thank Amen. A u ol you. Amen. Amen. e V h of t 3; Mseaays oI njosu. rney without fear through all your AH ePlpra myeer, lfoovri nGgr Gowodth, t oin b Fea oitphe n to growth in on 01 In emptiness let me find fullness. faith, for I am not a baby anymore. I know that ati e 2 In imprisonment let me find freedom. you long to lead me deeper and deeper into c n Render me passive in your will the mystery of your love and grace. bli u J and I shall be most active, u P d moving with you in everything, Grant me courage to grow. n a a K, y seeing you in everything It would be so easy to stagnate and to opt only a knowing you in everything. for simplistic answers, when I know I am called R M A Amen. to engage all my heart and mind and soul in , HE pril your service. Amen. T A Written by Joy Cowley, Aotearoa Psalms A Prayer for Understanding Loving God, sometimes I find it so hard to God, we come before you in prayer, be close to understand what is going on. us today (at this time), care for us, lead us. When people annoy me and life is hard, help We praise you and offer to you, all of our work me to trust that you are with me and that you and activities today. can help me to move beyond mere tolerance to true compassion. You indeed are God who sustains us, and empowers us in all things. Amen. Grant me wisdom to know what to say and what to do. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. Almighty Father giver of love and peace be with us in our homes bless us and our families, and http://www.otago.ac.nz/chaplain/ grant us your guidance all the days of our lives otago017083.pdf through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen written by Richard Kerr-Bell 10
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