The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry- Timeless Poems by Snooki, John Boehner, Kanye West, etc PDF
Preview The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry- Timeless Poems by Snooki, John Boehner, Kanye West, etc
THE ANTHOLOGY of REALLY IMPORTANT MODERN POETRY TIMELESS POEMS BY SNOOKI, JOHN BOEHNER, KANYE WEST AND OTHER WELL-VERSED CELEBRITIES KATHRYN & ROSS PETRAS WORKMAN PUBLISHING NEW YORK Table of Contents A CKNOWLEDGMENTS I NTRODUCTION T A S HE CTIVIST CHOOL T S B. A P S HE USAN NTHONY OETICS CHOOL T C P HE OMPASSIONATE OETS T C P HE ONSTITUTIONAL OETS T D HE ERRIÈRISTES T “D F , J N P P ” S HE ES ESSES E E ARLE AS CHOOL I S . . . E D N THE TYLE OF MILY ICKINSON T D S HE ICTATOR CHOOL T D S : I O A V O S B T P A HE IDACTIC CHOOL NSIGHTS N ARIETY F UBJECTS Y HE OET S T EACHER I S . . . W W N THE TYLE OF ALT HITMAN T E P HE XPLANATORY OETS T H P HE AIKU RACTITIONERS T H HE YGIENISTS I S . . . . . N THE TYLE OF E E CUMMINGS T “I’ N G ” S HE M OT AY CHOOL T “I’ R !” P HE M ICH OETS T I E S HE NFLATED GO CHOOL T K S HE IDDIE CHOOL T L P HE AMENTATIONAL OETS I S . . . S N THE TYLE OF HAKESPEARE T L HE YRICISTS T M C S HE EA ULPA CHOOL T M P P HE ELTING OT OETS T M M P HE ODERN ETAPHYSICAL OETS I S . . . E N THE TYLE OF URIPIDES T M R HE ODERN OMANTICS T M S HE ULTICULTURAL CHOOL T N P HE ATURE OETS T P P HE ATRIOTIC OETS I S . . . L B N THE TYLE OF ORD YRON T P (P)S HE SYCHOLOGICAL CHOOL T R S HE EALITY CHOOL T R P HE ELIGIOUS OETS T S -E S HE ELF XAMINATION CHOOL I S . . . T.S. E N THE TYLE OF LIOT T S HE PIRITUALISTS T S HE TRUCTURALISTS T S HE URREALISTS T U S HE NRESTRAINED CHOOL T V HE ISIONARIES T W P S HE ORD LAY CHOOL I S . . . A G N THE TYLE OF LLEN INSBERG A T A BOUT HE UTHORS Acknowledgments We’d like to give special thanks to all of the Really Important People who made this book a reality: our families—Beki Petras, Sylvia Lovegren Petras and Alex Petras, and Mitch Callanan; our ever-enthusiastic agent, Andrea Somberg; and Workman’s writers’ Dream Team: Bruce Tracy—as always, “the bestest” of editors—Suzie Bolotin, Bob Miller, Jean-Marc Troadec, Raquel Jaramillo, Justin Krasner, Carol White, and, of course, Peter Workman, for proving that an independent publisher can be such a vital and creative force. Introduction The time has come to celebrate the accidental lyricism of some rather unexpected wordsmiths: We speak, of course, of such heretofore grievously overlooked individuals as poet–reality star Snooki, poet-pundit Glenn Beck, poet–politician Newt Gingrich, poet–vice-president foot-in-mouth-prone Joe Biden, and many other estimable modern luminaries. These are poet-celebrities of today, the literary voices * that we can’t block out because they must be heard. In this anthology, we’ve collected their (almost) timeless words—sometimes classically elegant, other times refreshingly rough-hewn, but always gripping, soulful, † and eminently unforgettable. To help introduce you, the reader, to these fresh new voices, we’ve arranged the anthology by poetic schools. You will be introduced to the poems of the strangely evocative Derrièristes and those of the declining but still impactful Dictator School, among many others. We discuss the more salient tenets of each school, allowing the reader a chance to truly understand the underpinnings of the poems and, perhaps more important, the ethos from which they spring. It is this shared aesthetic and philosophical outlook that draws together and indeed weds such seemingly disparate individuals as actor Tom Cruise, mobster Big Joey Massino, and pop star Miley Cyrus (all members of the Didactic School). We also discern a fascinating kinship between these modern “versifers” and their poetic ancestors. We see in Ann Coulter of the Compassionate School a faint whiff of her great predecessor, the shy and gentle recluse Emily Dickinson. We see in Rush Limbaugh, the writer of “Rushbo’s Howl,” another Allen Ginsberg. And, of course, in Rahm Emanuel we see another (Mametesque) Shakespeare. The astute reader may note that some poets are acolytes of more than one school. Many critics have pondered the reason for this. Upon close analysis, we, the editors, feel this occurs because such large talent cannot be confined within the narrow strictures of one basic philosophy. So we happily find the poet Donald Trump represented not only (unsurprisingly) in the Inflated Ego School, but also (perhaps surprisingly, perhaps not) in the Religious School. By selecting the verses to be included in this collection, we feel we have elevated them to their rightful stature. Yes, these poems are truly the important pinnacle of ‡ today’s modern poetics. This, of course, says much about the admirable state of our modern high culture. The poems herein anthologized can now take their justified place alongside the great works of the past; they can rub shoulders, so to speak, with the sonnets of Shakespeare and, of course, the timeless epic verse of the § immortal Homer. In closing, we invite you, the reader, to “dip in” and sip the wisdom from the troughs of these brains. *Because they do not stop talking. †Almost ‡Op. cit. §Ed. note: “immortal” is here used figuratively; actually Homer died around 850 B.C. Note: In deference to the sensibilities of our more fastidious readers, we have redacted the more Rabelaisian word choices of several of our poets. This will be signified by [REDACTED]. The astute (or worldly) reader can easily fill in the blanks. The Activist School This poetic school is the happy result of a dovetailing between activism—work to bring about social, environmental, or political change—and creative verse. “How can I,” the Poet Activist asks, “use my art and talents to make the world a better place?” Let us turn, then, to a selection from the best of the Activist School poets. The skeptical reader may ask: “Are they really making the world a better place?” We reply: “Don’t ask.”
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