The Anger Habit: Proven Principles to Calm the Stormy Mind

162 Pages·2004·0.6 MB·English

by  Carl Semmelroth

A nger
The
HABIT

A nger
The
H A BI T
Proven Principles to
Calm the Stormy Mind
Carl Semmelroth, PhD
Donald E. P. Smith, PhD
Copyright©2004byCarlSemmelroth,PhD,andDonaldE.P.Smith,PhD
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Originallypublishedin2000
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Semmelroth,Carl
Theangerhabit:provenprincipalstocalmthestormymind/CarlSemmelrothand
DonaldE.P.Smith.
p.cm.
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
1.Anger.2.Habitbreaking.I.Smith,DonaldE.P.II.Title.
BF575.A5S462004
152.4'7--dc22
2004012511
PrintedandboundintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
VP10987654
This book is dedicated to those with whom we have worked
and those whose future journeys away from the anger habit will
be, it is hoped, easier and even more enriching of their lives.

Contents
Preface ............................................................................................ix
Chapter 1—The Anger Habit ..........................................................1
Chapter 2—About Anger..................................................................7
Chapter 3—Warming Up to Anger................................................21
Chapter 4—A Tool of Anger..........................................................37
Chapter 5—Struggling for Control................................................49
Chapter 6—Parenting Using Rules................................................59
Chapter 7—Parenting With Reason..............................................71
Chapter 8—Communicating Without Effect................................81
Chapter 9—From Anger to Panic ..................................................91
Chapter 10—The “Guilties,” Fear, and Remorse ........................107
Chapter 11—Voluntary Living....................................................119
Chapter 12—Choices Beyond the Anger Habit ..........................135
Index ............................................................................................143
About the Authors ......................................................................147

Preface
The Anger Habit has a biography as complicated as most people’s
lives, and it would take another book to chronicle its evolution. It
was born more than fifteen years ago in many conversations
between the authors. Since that time it has maintained an under-
ground life used as an unpublished version. We owe our thanks to
the many people who have nourished it.
Sara Semmelroth consistently believed in the book’s value and
her persistent but gentle urging to make it more widely available
was primarily responsible for its current publication. Likewise,
Karolyn Smalley encouraged the book’s development and eventual
publicationbyprovidingenthusiasticfeedbackfromthosetowhom
she circulated it and her own positive and helpful suggestions.
The book has been read and reviewed by professionals from
various points of view. Dale M. Brethower has reviewed it as a
behaviorist and Rational Emotive Therapist (RET) in all its ver-
sions. His feedback and encouragement have been invaluable.
James A. Bard, a RET practitioner and trainer, also gave us useful
suggestions. Will Crichton lent us his extraordinary philosophical
and logical skills by baring the logical bones of the theory under-
lying The Anger Habit. Hal Weidner put his English-professor eye,