The Aesthetic Experience of Dying: The Dance to Death

205 Pages·2018·1.81 MB·English

by  Veronica M. F. Adamson

THE AESTHETIC EXPERIENCE
OF DYING
Structuredaroundapersonalaccountoftheillnessanddeathoftheauthor’spartner,
Jane, this book explores how something hard to bear became a threshold to a
world of insight and discovery.
Drawing on German Idealism and Jane’s own research in the area, The Aesthetic
Experience of Dying looks at the notion of life as a binary synthesis, or a return
enhanced, as a way of coming to understand death. Binary synthesis describes the
interplaybetweendynamicallyopposingpairsofconcepts–suchaslifeanddeath–
resultinginanenhancedversionofoneofthemtomoveforwardinanewcycleof
the process. Yet what relevance does this elegant word game have to the shocking
diagnosis of serious illness? Struggling to balance reason with sense, thought with
feeling,this bookexaminestheexperienceofcaringforsomeonefrom diagnosisto
death and is illustrated with examples of the return enhanced. The concluding
chapter outlines how the tension of Jane’s dying has been resolved as the rhythmic
patternsofthelifeworldhavebeenunderstoodthroughtheprocessofreflectingon
the experience.
This creative and insightful book will appeal to those interested in the medical
humanities. It will also be an important reference for practising and student health
professionals.
Veronica M. F. Adamson is an Honorary Fellow in the School of Health in
Social Science, University of Edinburgh, UK.
‘Thisisabeautiful,visceralandnotleastcourageoustextthatopensthereadertothe
depths and details of a human life facing death. Adamson succeeds in offering a
poignant reflection that journeys from diagnosis to death in a way that is faithful to
the shared depths of the lifeworld. As such, she generously provides a moving and
insightfulnarrativeforcontemplationaboutwhatitistobehumanandthenatureof
the lifeworld in living towards death.It should be read byall professionally involved
interminalillness,itspansinsightsintowell-being,aestheticdimensionsofillnessand
the implicit splits between reductionist approaches in care delivery and human
embodiment which are all skilfully revealed and grasp the human heart.’
Kathleen Galvin, University of Brighton, UK
THE AESTHETIC
EXPERIENCE OF DYING
The Dance to Death
Veronica M. F. Adamson
Firstpublished2018
byRoutledge
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For Jane, with love
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CONTENTS
Acknowledgements viii
Introduction ix
1 The return enhanced 1
2 Invitation to the dance 43
3 Days for dancing 76
4 The last waltz 116
5 The aesthetic experience of dying 147
Index 189
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Writing a book is a solitary task which can lead the author to believe it is solely
their unaided achievement. On one level this is true but then there is the network
of supporters, encouragers, reviewers and commentators without whom we writers
would be a dull and arrogant bunch. So without further ado there are some very
important persons, in no particular order, whom I must both acknowledge and
thank most sincerely. My wonderful and amazing family – Rose, Sylvain, Wilf and
Gélise – are always there to cheer me through the dark, damp bits. Without
Margaret, there would have been no Jane and I value greatly her support and
friendship. Jane would be so pleased that I continue to dine with her school
friends, Anne, Alison and Susan; I am truly grateful for their continuing support
and encouragement.
Clodagh Ross provides compassion and friendship while seeking clarity to my
obfuscations. My research supervisors, Professor Tonks Fawcett and Dr Marion
Smith, guided me when I strayed from the path, as I frequently did, supported my
wobbly knees and kept the faith that it could and would be done. The thesis
examiners, Dr Rosie Stenhouse and Dr Fiona Cowdell provided apposite com-
ments and suggested reworking the text into a more accessible book format. Rev.
Dr Harriet Harris has helped me to explore some of the spiritual aspects of death
and dying of the study through a conversation series hosted by the University of
EdinburghChaplaincy.GraceMcInnesatRoutledgehasprovidedvaluableguidance
on the metamorphosis of a thesis into a book. Particular thanks are due to Tonks
for her continuing encouragement, draft reviewing and comments especially when
she has so many calls on her time.
INTRODUCTION
The realisation that a loved one may be seriously ill is shocking. When those
concernsarethenconfirmedashardfact,theeffectisshattering.Fromthemoment
alife-limitingconditionisdiagnosed,lifecan andwillneverbeasit hadbeen. Our
reactions to such news and its consequences depend on many factors: who it is,
whatiswrongandourrelationshiptothepersonconcerned.Whatwedowiththis
new and unwanted knowledge is dependent on our previous experience, our
current circumstances and our worldview of disease and its treatment. Having
sharedsuchanexperiencewhatthenisworthyofformalresearch?Therearepossibly
two reasons for the justification of studying the experience of caring for someone
with life-limiting disease: to make sense of it and to discover if there is anything
newtocontributetowhatisalreadyknown.Theremayalsobemanyotherfactors
interms ofpersonalinterest, unresolved issuesand asenseof something unfinished;
fundamentally it is the belief that something might need to be better understood.
My partner, Jane, was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer in 2011 and died
the following May. The time of her illness was one of tension with episodes of
intensification as the disease progressed which, for her, was resolved with death.
Yet for me there were many questionsand uncertainties about what had happened
during those months of illness. While I knew her dying had been as she had
wished, at home in her own bed, there seemed to be something more to it that I
wanted to understand. Or perhaps Iwas just not yetready to let her go.Jane hada
fine brain, was the first inher family to attend university gainingnot just a first but
then a PhD. Her doctoral work drew heavily on Goethe and his ideas of seculari-
sation as well as the influence of his relationship with Schiller (Plenderleith, 1991).
As a result of her own studies she had formed a view that life could be understood
as a return enhanced – a way of recognising something that had perhaps been
experienced previously but not then fully appreciated. This idea comes from
the academic analysis and interpretation of both Schiller’s and Goethe’s style of